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[The Wooster]

which is a shame because we all here think you could be doing some really good stuff.

Speak for yourself.

I wouldn't take that shit Decoy...

FORUM FIGHT!

The establishment does not negotiate with trolls.

As for the storyline the opening strip isn't exactly indicative of what I have planned. The majority of the comic will be about Jake's attempts to turn Straight Sevens into a responsible review site with some degree of merit. It'll mostly be character humour as well as a few slight jabs at the industry that's sprang up around gaming. That being said your input is still appreciated, even Indigo's first attempt at trolling the topic brought up an interesting point.

 

[The Wooster]

Do what you love, and people will love what you do.
Silly I know, but even though I feel my art needs dramatic improvement, I love it, and other people seem to like it too.
And I actually like your work.

In return for your kind words I'm not going to make a 'your mom' joke out that first sentence. Thanks Necro.

 

[Jumplion]

I'll scratch your back if you'll scratch mine [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.94061#1463659].

I like those strips, though the main guy in the first strip looks really deranged and freaky. Overall though, not much I can criticize, good stuff.

EDIT: Though one critique I have, it's another video game webcomic. Ungh.
EDIT 2: And do what most everyone else has said. PLEASE, if you continue this, STICK WITH A SCHEDULE! Maybe twice a week, or at best three times. As tiredinnuendo has said, people will overlook some bad comics if you update and show commitment.

 

[wewontdie11]

Well I actually lol'd at the second one.

I honestly wouldn't know where to begin on giving any advice on what to put in a webcomic because I like the shocking and gratuitous jibes at sensitive issues of early to mid Cyanide and Happiness and the slightly more formulaic and sophisticated style of the philosophical, linguistic and mathematical gags of XKCD.

Just do what you think is funny I suppose because there's no point in making something that not even you find amusing.

Edit: I'd just stay clear of miscarriages if I was you.

 

[Erana]

And if you needed a different subject matter, why not attack annoying repeat thread topics, or something?

 

[implodingMan]

Once again, the folks at cyanide and happiness both entertain and educate us.

Spoiler: what not to do

I'm serious though, avoid everything in this comic. The static setting, the overuse of dialogue, the lack of any kind of joke. Penny Arcade is the best for a good reason, they almost never reuse environments, there is generally a new setting or event for each comic, and the dialogue is short and sometimes not even present. You are working in a visual medium, do some visual jokes.

Your strips are good, the art is a little dark, and the shadows on the characters, while giving them some nice depth, make it look like they've turned off half of their lights for some reason. Altogether you do a great job avoiding the stuff I talked about above, and I would probably check it out if it was a real webcomic, as long as the material stays fresh.

 

[Zemalac]

Prepare yourself for a huge steaming pile of advice.

Writing
The jokes are good, though the first one relies heavily on the word "************." The grain effect isn't really funny on its own--more of a "yeah, that's true" sentiment than a laugh. Throwing the profanity in there makes it funny for some reason. I'd advise not doing that too often, though, because it's an easy habit to get into and really isn't a good thing to repeat.

The second comic I didn't like quite as much. It wasn't as immediately funny. The advertisement at the bottom of the screen took a moment to catch the eye, since I read word bubbles slightly before looking at the art, and thus the joke lost some of its effectiveness. With the first one the buildup let you know exactly what was coming, with the unexpected addition of "************" making it funny. With the second one, while the joke is still funny it is less so. It has less punchiness, if that word means what I think it does.

Both comics have a very good mixture of jokes in the text and visual gags. Well-done there.

Art
The character art is very clean, very simple, and very suited to the style of the comic. Though the guy with the gun in the second panel of the first comic looks like he's petting it, which is kind of odd. Nevertheless, the character art is good. The background art needs some work, but you'll get better at that with time, I'm sure.

Not much else to say on the art front, really. You've started out a lot more professional looking than most webcomic artists I've seen. Including myself, which kind of lowers my self-esteem a little.

Summary
Not pure gold, but certainly not bad, with the potential of being very good.

Suggestions
For the love of god, come up with some original plotlines. You can do it. We know you can. Also, keep working to improve the art, even when you don't think it can possibly get any better. I can guarantee that you'll look back on these first few a year from now and say, "Was I ever really that bad?"

Keep up the good work.

 

[The Wooster]

Not much else to say on the art front, really. You've started out a lot more professional looking than most webcomic artists I've seen. Including myself, which kind of lowers my self-esteem a little.

Don't feel bad, this isn't my first shot at a webcomic, I got about 50 strips into a webcomic I was doing the art for before the writer copped out. It started out looking like this.


Notice the atrocious art, terrible layout, overfilled text bubbles, massive ammounts of text, awful text layout which doesn't flow chronologically etc.

Spoiler

and ended up looking like this

Spoiler

 

[Zemalac]

Not much else to say on the art front, really. You've started out a lot more professional looking than most webcomic artists I've seen. Including myself, which kind of lowers my self-esteem a little.

Don't feel bad, this isn't my first shot at a webcomic, I got about 50 strips into a webcomic I was doing the art for before the writer copped out. It started out looking like this.


Notice the atrocious art, terrible layout, overfilled text bubbles, massive ammounts of text, awful text layout which doesn't flow chronologically etc.

Spoiler

and ended up looking like this

Spoiler

That is still one hell of a lot better art-wise than I was after 50 comics when I tried my hand at webcomiking. Well done.

 

[Zildjin81]

"Page Load Error."

 

[The Wooster]

"Page Load Error."

Should be fixed now. Try again mate.

Oh and Zemalac do you want to give me the url for your webcomic?

 

[Zildjin81]

"Page Load Error."

Should be fixed now. Try again mate.

Oh and Zemalac do you want to give me the url for your webcomic?

Thanks, funny stuff.

 

[McClaud]

Not bad.

Random comic can be a bit random.

 

[ThaBenMan]

Pretty good. Like others have said, it'll be good to avoid being too wordy - I think you strike just the right balance here, and the writing is good, too. And try and mix it up, make it different from all the same ol' same ol' out there , with a good variety of settings and jokes.

I've got to say, though - I do not care for the artwork. To me, it's way too similar to Ctrl+Alt+Del and tons of other comics there. You should talk to your artist about trying to make the artwork stand out better as well.

Funnily enough, my favorite is actually the really old comic you posted about the film critic. Even though there was a lot of text, it was all hilarious, and the art was good enough.

So keep at it, and I'll keep reading!

 

[Anarchemitis]

Excellent. I've always wanted to know how to do Slickly Drawn Dude in Photoshop in Photoshop. Is it with a Wacom tablet?

 

[The Wooster]

Good art style, though you're writing needs some improvements.

Heh, irony.

Yes it's done in Photoshop, I add my own touches to a paper sketch by Mal.

 

[Flap Jack452]

You have serious artistic skills, that much is easily apparent. What seems to be holding you back though seems to be a plot and execution of said plot. You just got to find something you want to talk about and find dialogue (Less is more) to convey that thing in a humorous way, with your kick ass drawings backing you up. I kid you not when I say you have amazing artistic skill and one of the best styles I've seen in a while.

EDIT: AHHH my 666th post. whatdoido? whatdoido?

 

[twilinova07]

haha, those were pretty good . let me review.

comic 1. funny little joke, but i feel not many arent going to get it completely because no one asocciates the wii and campy, violent, grind house writing. it goes under alot of peoples radar.

comic 2. much funnier. its a two-fer jab, which makes you look intelligent.

my biggest problem, basically my only one, is the art. Now i dont read a lot of web comics because, well, the ones i read are usually the ones you buy in stores. So i dont know how accurate this statement is but your art is pretty common. sure its clean and easy to make out but its far from putting you on the map. i understand if you want to stay near the medium but a little unique-ness wouldnt hurt. it wont impare you but it doesnt help you get noticed.

overall. i really think you have potential.

this is all coming from someone who is also trying hard to make a comic.

 

[Spartan Bannana]

HA! That's great.

 

[DirkGently]

Looks interesting, I say. It's not particularly laugh out loud funny, but it did get a 'oh, that's good." It looks good after getting the setup out of the way. I'll certainly give it a shot once it's up.