Honestly, I think it comes down to women mainly being the victims of rape and thus rape being one of the things that offends a group that think themselves underpowered in society. I have no idea why it isn't brushed off as part of a joke in the same way literally everything else is, like the Holocaust, a famously controversial and often in poor taste subject of jokes that nevertheless has not spawned a single thread on here in recent memory.
KriticalKiwi said:
There is one very large difference between murder and rape that needs to be pointed out. There are people out there, who have personally experienced being raped, who's lives are irrevocably changed by this massive trauma in their past. I won't go into detail about how rape is traumatising, but I think we can all agree that it's a pretty big deal, and most of the time, the perpetrator gets away scott free. To hear about rape in everyday conversation as a joke, just belittles the horrific pain these individuals have gone through. The "rape joke" culture is the culture that blames the victim, lets the persecutor get away, and dismisses the whole problem as just "one of those things."
The reason I don't stand for rape jokes is because the chances of someone you know and love having being sexually abused at some point in their life are scarily high, and I won't be a part of anything that allows this sort of horrific problem to continue.
You can't say "It's just jokes, there's no real harm." If anyone within earshot is a victim, it perpetuates the attitude that has been placed in their mind that it's their fault, or that they are stupid to make a fuss about it.
It's wrong, it happens far too often, and as a society we should be sending a clear message, one that blames and demonises perpetrators and doesn't belittle victims.
For a start, my general stance is that you can say whatever you want and it is up to you whether you consider the feelings of people you talk to. As to the rest of the post: Making a rape joke is referencing rape and the attitudes surrounding rape, but does not make rape a less serious crime. In fact it shows how serious it is that can be joked about and imply a serious message. But with jokes everything is fair game. It's not necessarily your actual opinion, and not necessary reflective of your attitude towards the subject matter. They can be in poor taste, but at that point they are bad jokes, not deliberate insults.
As for rape culture, I don't believe in 'rape culture'. You will find very few people that will, in the case of a clear-cut rape, attempt to justify the perpetrator's actions or blame the victim. The vast majority of people are against rape and do not support rapists. There are cases where consent is not explicitly given, and in those cases, while I don't buy the "she deserved it for dressing that way", there are other factors to take into consideration, such as how clear-minded the perpetrator and victim were, and whether it was reasonable to assume consent at the time (and before you tell me it's never reasonable to assume consent, in social situations there are some things you trust your human interaction skills to interpret). In short, I think it's reasonable to consider that the male is not always completely in the wrong. To extrapolate this attitude to saying "Perpetrators should be let off free in regards to rape and victims should consider it character building and not make a fuss" is ridiculous. Next to no-one believes that.
Also, rape victims (and anyone else, really) are being unreasonably paranoid if they think a rape joke is indicative of a whole culture that condones rape, and rape victims should be aware of the fact that rape is an oft-used subject matter of jokes with no serious intent in the same way black people might be familiar with stereotypes of their own culture and be prepared for comedy surrounding those. I'm not saying I would say a rape joke to a rape victim, or recommend others do it. What I'm saying is that rape victims are overreacting if they are reading anything into a rape joke that is not directed at them or said without knowledge of their experiences.