One Sentence Summaries

[boyitsme95]

Mass Effect: Just some elevator music would be fine, really.
Metal Gear Solid 4: That was awsome.
Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard: Buy it so they make a sequel!
World of Warcraft: Intervention, please.
Warcraft III: I don't want an intervention.

 

[ManiacalZManiac]

Megaman 9
THIS GAME IS SO FUCKING HARD!!!

 

[Tesgami]

Dear JRPG developers (a haiku):

I can't skip cutscenes
Before difficult boss fights
I hate you so very much

Damn true!

Soul Caliber *number* : Underdressed or over complicated fight with monstrous swords and bladed hula-hoops.
Final Fantasy XII: (quote from elementary school brother) : Where is the bunny lady's clothes?!
Force Unleashed: Another reason to hate George Lucas
Kingdom Hearts: Only place you can fight along side Donald Duck, Tarzan, Goofy, Jack Skellington, Peter Pan, Beast, and Ariel.
(Seriously though?! Who the hell wants to fight beside the Little Mermaid?! >_<)

 

[the captain]

Wii Fit: Oh god, I think I pulled something!!!!!

 

[ManiacalZManiac]

Final Fantasy XII: (quote from elementary school brother) : Where is the bunny lady's clothes?!

That one made me laugh my ass off. xD

 

[Tesgami]

I'm glad he didn't see Eruyt Village, that would be... *whistle*...
And I love your avatar by the way XD

 

[Ronwue]

Empire total war : Never thought a game this buggy could be so awesome
Red Alert 3 : What the hell did I miss.
Grand ages Rome : Ima gona build myself in Rome, roman style.
Half-Life : Got wrench, Will travel.
Ballistics : Supersonic speed freak.
Baldur's Gate : It could be better if it gave blowjobs.

The Half-Life one confused me...I'll wait and see if anyone else picks up on it

Yeah it's a crowbar dude.

I was a bit ironic towards it. In hindsight the joke would have been better with a crowbar... ah well.

 

[Trifer420]

Gears of war, THIS GAME NEEDS MORE TESTOSTERONE!

Ninja gaiden (For xbox, and ps3) good luck.

counter strike, it should be okay to die, it's a freaking video game.

Halo 3, liars, liars, liars and fan boys; Halo 1 is still so much better.

Killzone, nazis or some similar oppressive faction with red eyes and in the future.

armored core, wait, we can actually see it in action?

Haze, Rather get high in real life.

Metal gear solid 4, this could be a movie and no one will notice; to be honest, it kinda is.

 

[SimuLord]

Empire: Total War: Soon as they work the bugs out, this will be the greatest game ever made.
Oblivion: Hope you're not doin' anything for, like, a year. (cookie for the reference)
Morrowind: Kill 'em all, God will recognize his own. Or: You can't spell "serial manslaughter" without Laughter!
Myst: And people wonder why GameFAQs was invented.
The Sims 2: Playing God is so much fun when God is Chaotic Evil.

 

[More Fun To Compute]

Persona 3: I have to fight monsters now but what I really want to do is go to school and hang around with a fat kid.
Mount & Blade: I'll stop playing after just one more skirmish and I really mean it this time.
Dead Rising: Bloody hell Otis stop calling to tell me about survivors, can't you see that I'm trying to put funny hats on these zombies heads so I can get a good picture for my photo album.
Okami: That was a pretty good Zelda clone but why is it still going like it doesn't realise that it's finished and expects me to keep on playing.

 

[Spaz91]

MGS4: NANOMACHINES DID IT

 

[Trifer420]

Morrowind: Kill 'em all, God will recognize his own. Or: You can't spell "serial manslaughter" without Laughter!
Myst: And people wonder why GameFAQs was invented.

lol

 

[Spaz91]

Resi 5: OH GOD theres shitloads of people trying to kill me, but they're black so I won't shoot them because that would be racist, I'll go cause the genocide of Spanish peasants instead...

Fallout 3: The game for people who don't like games.

Worms World Party: I'll go get the beer and crisps.

Guitar Hero/Rock Band: Much better than REAL instruments.

Ocarina of Time: Bad graphics, clunky gameplay and awfil dialoge, obviously the best game ever.

Kingdom Hearts 1/2: Why the hell do I love this game so much?

 

[sonicspin]

Kingdom Hearts: Disney Characters AND Final Fantasy Characters? Holy Shit!

Zelda: Find sword, slice shit!

Mario: Jump on alot of shit!

Sonic Classic: Run through alot of shit!

New Sonic: Can't play this shit!

Resident Evil Classic: Can't see shit!

New Resident Evil: Where the shit are the zombies!

Halo 1-3: Shoot that alien shit!

Halo Wars: What's this shit?

70% of the Wii game market: Shit!

 

[sonicspin]

Dear JRPG developers (a haiku):

I can't skip cutscenes
Before difficult boss fights
I hate you so very much

A haiku is meant to be 5,7,5 so let's help you out,

I can't Skip cutscenes
Before difficult boss fights
You guys are such dicks

 

[ohellynot]

naruto:[enter four words to do with ninja]
shameless cash in

 

[ShogunGino]

Gears of War 2: Now with preposterous amounts of testosterone!!(Preposterone!!)
Madworld: I did always keep telling my friends that Nintendo would eventually allow and release some interesting, entertaining violent games.(really, I did. MW and Overkill proved my prediction, lets see how long it lasts)
Psychonauts: It can ALWAYS get weirder.
No More Heroes: A nerd will rise...
Skies of Arcadia: If you hate angsty, moody JRPGs, I've got the game for you!
DDR: Don't miss a SINGLE arrow of it will horribly throw off your groove.
Destroy All Humans!: Incoming madness, yay.
Mirror's Edge: You fail your jump check and died.(For the record, I have lots of fun with Mirror's Edge)

 

[DoW Lowen]

Dear JRPG developers (a haiku):

I can't skip cutscenes
Before difficult boss fights
I hate you so very much

A haiku is meant to be 5,7,5 so let's help you out,

I can't Skip cutscenes
Before difficult boss fights
You guys are such dicks

Or it could be (if you want to be really Japanese)

Cutscenes are shameful
Villain has become victor
Fuck you cunts, go die

L4D: I wouldn't like to be you guys
Fallout 3: Wouldn't want to be there
Gears of war 1+2: Life must be tough
Grand Theft Auto: Your life sucks
F.E.A.R: Hate to be you

(Notice the trend in games?)

 

[EeveeElectro]

Soul Calibur: Big boobies are great for distracting.
Dead Rising: The most fun you will ever have at a shopping market full of zombies.
Kingdom Hearts: Gary-Stu comes to kill Disney!

 

[Syntax Error]

Silent Hill: Why the British need to leave their cults at home. (Why do the heads of the cult all sound like Brits?) -or- Try to hang onto your family members!

Fatal Frame: Don't ever let anyone ever take your picture. Ever.

Final Fantasy VII: Look, a long-haired genocidal maniac!
Final Fantasy VIII: Look, a boring guy and his high school friends with cool shoes!
Final Fantasy IX: Press X to watch this boring crap that you don't care about and look, that long-haired guy looks like a woman!

Silent Hill 1: If your daughter goes missing, please, let the police help with the searching.
Silent Hill 2: If a guy with a very big knife who rapes mannequins is after you, chances are, you did something to deserve it.
Silent Hill 3: If you are an adopted daughter who was found in a cemetery right after a cataclysmic event, your past will come back to haunt you.
Silent Hill 4: Pickaxe > Gun.