One Sentence Summaries

[KamachoMcSagget]

Dead Rising: "SHUT UP, OTIS!!"

 

[ChromeAlchemist]

CS:S - Boom! Headshot

Fixed for you.

My first fix! Feels weird...

 

[Pandalisk]

killzone 2: shoot the glowy eyed fucks!..
RE5: Weskers a dick
Motorstorm: win the race, other drivers? kill they ass!
MGS4: Just do the missions dont try and follow the damn plot, curse you liquid liqiud oceleot ocelot!..
Medievil 2 total war: calvary has never been been so fun!
deadspace: play halfway, get bored go away, come back, GAME.. The Monsters Did it!..
The entire rainbow six series: shoot random generic terrorists of multi racial backgrounds GAME..
uncharted: searching for buried TRESHA! PHILLIP!..
Quake wars: KILL
Haze: Take Drugs.. EPIC WIN! kill people GAME..
Turok: Kill dem dino's!
Ninja gaiden on hard mode: Rape
Mortal Kombat 2: Rape
Killzone 2 on elite: RAPE

actually nearly all games can be summaried by the term "You are here, Badguys over there, KILL THEY ASS

 

[The Electric Victorian]

World of Warcraft, a haiku

For a while I thought
WoW was my entire life
and then I got laid

 

[Fronken]

Gears of War 2: Are you sure this isnt Gears of War 1?

Final Fantasy XIII: This damn franchise will outlive me :O

World of Warcraft: Ruining your social life has never been this fun!

Rock Band: Play with plastic instrument, just like when you were 7

Guitar Hero: Same shit, different name

Katamari Damarcy: So should i take Acid or Meth in order to enjoy this?

Halo (1-3): Only thing that has improved since the first one is the graphics (PS. Halo: Combat Evolved for the PC was fucking awesome)

Counter Strike: Becuz wr1ting lik a rtard iz cOoL

Serious Sam: Seriously the most fun LAN game Ever!

Those are all that i can think of atm.

 

[The Electric Victorian]

Goddamnit, Xbox Live (a haiku)

Folks on live point out
People with tits don't play Halo
My girlfriend is real

 

[Pimppeter2]

Oblivion - the police are actually like in CSi

 

[Ultress]

Gears or War 2: RAWR, My WIFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

No more Heroes: You are awesome go prove it

Super Castlevania 4 : Pimp stride and kill Drac

Yoshi's Island: WAH WAH WAH, POP

Ninja Gaiden(NES): Are you serious

Ninja Gaiden(xbox): insert obscenity

 

[Micah Weil]

Any of the Leisure Suit Larry games: "I'm gonna go get my dick stuck in something weird."

 

[Clashero]

Oblivion: Better with mods.

This. So much this.

Eh... Jade Empire: Finish it, think about the plot twist, finish it again.
Halo 3: Making your e-penis feel bigger.
Oh, OF COURSE!! Civilization IV: One... more... turn... ok, I swear this is the last one... just til this ship circumnavigates the globe...ohh I can change to Police State now!... wait, give me two turns so I finish this railroad... wait! I just wanna know how this UN vote turns out... ok, now I'm gonna stop pla-ZOMG WTF URANIUM

Actually, it's pretty much the same with any Sid Meier game. You're always 5 minutes away from accomplishing something. Think of Pirates!
I'm gonna quit now... but I'm so close to Tortuga! I can get promoted!... oh, I didn't get promoted, but the barmaid said there was a French ship carrying 5000 gold... oh well, I chased that ship all the way to Devil Reef, and there's a treasure there... oh wow, I'm really close to Panama... aha! The Marquis is headed to Veracruz, they say! I can take his ship... but I'll stop by Santo Domingo first to get the Triple Hammocks... ah, I didn't remember I had a love affair here in Santo Domingo, best go rescue her.
Anyone who's played the game will probably agree.

 

[Metalchair]

Left 4 Dead: Kill zombies from here to there
Saints Row 2: wake up, kill gang bangers, own city
Fallout 3: too small
World of Warcraft: its a disease
Ninja Gaiden 2: its like one of those Matrix bullet time scenes, except sped up to normal speed... then sped up some more

 

[Flishiz]

Grand Theft Auto IV: I really could use some extra cash...
Saints Row 2: WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WITH ALL THIS MONEY?

 

[SmartIdiot]

Haze - not as fun as actually getting high.

 

[Aqualung]

Need For Speed Underground 2: Cars go fast!
Kingdom Hearts: Everything you loved about Disney, but butchered and with more weird 3D anime.

 

[MikeTheElf]

Doom - Play it because the music is kick-ass.
Halo - I can shoot more aliens?
Gears of War 2 - Quick, get to the chest-high wall!
Guitar Hero 4 (World Tour) - A rip-off of Rock Band with shittier songs.
Final Fantasy (insert any number here) - Turn-based JRPG made of nonsense.
L4D - Running won't save you from zombies.
L4D (expert) - SHOOT IT IN THE FACE BEFORE IT GETS NEAR YOU!!! -or- Don't shoot the car or I will slit your throat! -or- Do NOT accidentally friendly-fire with the shotgun!
Pokemon - You get a grass/fire/water Pokemon, train it, and kill other Pokemon; nothing has changed.

 

[Mr.Pandah]

Empire total war : Never thought a game this buggy could be so awesome
Red Alert 3 : What the hell did I miss.
Grand ages Rome : Ima gona build myself in Rome, roman style.
Half-Life : Got wrench, Will travel.
Ballistics : Supersonic speed freak.
Baldur's Gate : It could be better if it gave blowjobs.

The Half-Life one confused me...I'll wait and see if anyone else picks up on it

 

[The Electric Victorian]

Dear JRPG developers (a haiku):

I can't skip cutscenes
Before difficult boss fights
I hate you so very much

 

[jake09050]

Empire total war : Never thought a game this buggy could be so awesome
Red Alert 3 : What the hell did I miss.
Grand ages Rome : Ima gona build myself in Rome, roman style.
Half-Life : Got wrench, Will travel.
Ballistics : Supersonic speed freak.
Baldur's Gate : It could be better if it gave blowjobs.

The Half-Life one confused me...I'll wait and see if anyone else picks up on it

Yeah it's a crowbar dude.

 

[Neesa]

MapleStory: Fuckin' Nexon, gimme my money back.
Guitar Hero/Rock Band: Get better fingers...Now.

 

[Raziel_Likes_Souls]

Custer Revenge: Cactus Rape.
Soul Reaver: I Need More...Souls.
Soul Reaver etc: SOULS!