online gaming sexism stories

[Moonlight Butterfly]

snip

Well that picture just shows how modern media has objectified women, making men believe they exist for their entertainment. I think this is what has happened with gaming too. That chat log you linked just seemed like a massive misunderstanding.

Also I'm probably one of the most socially awkward people there is but I don't message lads asking to see their willies do I.

It's a poor excuse.

I don't know what's worse the guys making these comments or the guys making excuses for them. The bottom line is it's inappropriate stop doing it.

ps: I'm pretty sure if I went up to a guy in a library and used that line he would A: Laugh in my face or B: Be extremely uncomfortable and flee. I wouldn't blame him for either reaction...

 

[Scorched_Cascade]

Okay, I've just finished reading the thread.

You guys, oh you guys (and it is the guys).

I actually had to check several times that I was still in Gaming Discussion and hadn't wandered into Religion and Politics by mistake. It says quite clearly up there at the top "online gaming sexism" and in the OP that he would like to hear specific examples from people (even if he is slightly...aggressive with how he asks). What do we have instead?

About 50-75% of the thread is a discussion and counter discussion about whether sexism exists, whether it's the majority experience and off-topic bickering around the very stories that the OP asked for.

Spoiler

 

[Smeatza]

ps: I'm pretty sure if I went up to a guy in a library and used that line he would A: Laugh in my face or B: Be extremely uncomfortable and flee. I wouldn't blame him for either reaction...

While you are perfectly within your rights to make a subjective judgement on whether that would be creepy, inappropriate or not. It's certainly not sexist, and this is a thread for sexism stories.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

snip

You said it would be okay if a girl did it when it would clearly not be...

This is indeed a thread for sexism stories so why are you trying to derail it with talk of people being 'socially awkward'. Unless they have severe mental difficulties there is really no excuse for expecting female gamers to respond positively to such things as 'You like games be my girlfriend' In what universe is that a good idea.

It's the expectation that is sexist not the act of asking. Women are there to play the game not entertain you. It's this problem again of objectification. Women are people. It's not an anime dating game.

 

[GoaThief]

/snip

I think the problem is there's a few very opinionated female (and male) posters on here that repeatedly input into sexism threads as a matter of course which stirs up a hornets' nest. Of course Mr.K made a generalising statement which I cannot condone but I don't think it was aimed at every single person here if you follow that line of thinking.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

/snip

I think the problem is there's a few very opinionated female (and male) posters on here that repeatedly input into sexism threads as a matter of course which stirs up a hornets' nest. Of course Mr.K made a generalising statement which I cannot condone but I don't think it was aimed at every single person here if you follow that line of thinking.

Yeah god forbid we actually speak our minds, I mean we clearly just do it to cause trouble and not because it's what we actually think...

-.-

 

[GoaThief]

Yeah god forbid we actually speak our minds, I mean we clearly just do it to cause trouble and not because it's what we actually think...

Interesting that you labelled yourself as one of the opinionated, fair play to you. If you do view yourself as such it'd be an exercise in futility attempting a meaningful discourse.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

Interesting that you labelled yourself as one of the opinionated, fair play to you. If you do view yourself as such it'd be an exercise in futility attempting a meaningful discourse.

I think she's reacting to your arguably snide assertion that opinionated females (and males!) keep derailing sexism threads with their dogmatic nonsense, instead of letting the level heads like Mr. K take the reigns.

Naturally that's not exactly what you said, but if you're not used to people reading inference into your forum posts by now...

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

Yeah god forbid we actually speak our minds, I mean we clearly just do it to cause trouble and not because it's what we actually think...

Interesting that you labelled yourself as one of the opinionated, fair play to you. If you do view yourself as such it'd be an exercise in futility attempting a meaningful discourse.

Well I figured you were talking about me since I comment in sexism threads often. You ever thought that maybe I'm adding my opinion to a thread or a topic rather than just being 'opinionated'.

Meaningful discourse can only happen if you consider other people's opinions, obviously you don't like to do that.

 

[GoaThief]

instead of letting the level heads like Mr. K take the reigns.

Right, because what part of;

Of course Mr.K made a generalising statement which I cannot condone

infers level-headedness?

 

[GoaThief]

Meaningful discourse can only happen if you consider other people's opinions, obviously you don't like to do that.

I think you need to look up the definition of opinionated. Once you understand that you can see why it would be an exercise in futility in engaging in further discourse with someone who self-identifies as such. Then again, you could instead attempt to raise more straw men and ad-hominems directly to me, because of course you just absolutely know for a fact I don't like to consider other peoples' opinions, aye?

 

[BloatedGuppy]

Right, because what part of;

Of course Mr.K made a generalising statement which I cannot condone

infers level-headedness?

Cool down. You did read the second sentence as well, yes? And didn't immediately leap to respond to the first?

There is a "but" at the end of your statement which suggests that K was, in fact, correctly identifying some problematic elements with his comment, and that the only real issue with it was the fact it was "generalizing". In truth, it's an idiotic straw man that merits no defense whatsoever. I've never heard ANYONE make that argument. And I've heard people make some pretty stupid arguments on the topic of gender, on both sides of the ledger. K is just tilting at windmills. I'm not sure why you would've referenced him at all, really.

I think it's a little silly, too, to whomp on people for being "opinionated", since that can be read in many ways. I expect you meant it to the extent that some people can be extraordinarily intransigent and utterly disinterested in points of view other than their own. I expect Moonlight is reading it as "how dare you have an OPINION, ladies".

Which is why I made the comment I did about inference. I spent half this thread defending myself for a statement I never actually made. The way we come across in type is now always how we intend.

BTW I hope you enjoy To The Moon, it was my favorite game of last year. Cross thread commentary for the win! Woooo!

 

[GoaThief]

Cool down.

I'm perfectly cool, good person.

The way we come across in type is now always how we intend.

Indeed so it's probably best to leave it there to avoid further confusion.

BTW I hope you enjoy To The Moon, it was my favorite game of last year. Cross thread commentary for the win! Woooo!

YAAAR.

I am indeed thus far, I actually had to turn it off earlier because I found myself getting emotional (something in my eye, honest!) before anything major had happened. Just at the first conversation between John and River, whilst she's in bed. The miscommunication, feelings and all the things unsaid probably stirred up some distant memories. Ahhh!

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

snip

You clearly expect people not to respond in a thread in a manner you don't like or agree with. In your view this is 'stirring up trouble'. Like I said it's not, it's people voicing their opinions.

If you don't like sexism threads then don't read them and certainly don't expect female posters to just smile and nod at whatever is said.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

YAAAR.

I am indeed thus far, I actually had to turn it off earlier because I found myself getting emotional (something in my eye, honest!) before anything major had happened. Just at the first conversation between John and River, whilst she's in bed. The miscommunication, feelings and all the things unsaid probably stirred up some distant memories. Ahhh!

Oh, dude. Dude.

If you're already getting emotional you're going to be a fucking wreck by the time it's over.

 

[GoaThief]

don't expect female posters to just smile and nod at whatever is said.

That is one thing I certainly do not expect, quite the opposite. Sorry if you interpreted it that way.

If you knew me at all you'd probably laugh at how incredibly off base you've been with that comment.

Oh, dude. Dude.

If you're already getting emotional you're going to be a fucking wreck by the time it's over.

Exactly! Hahaha... looking forward to it.

 

[Smeatza]

You said it would be okay if a girl did it when it would clearly not be...

That's up for each individual to decide.
In any case I didn't say it would be OK, I said it wouldn't be disconcerting.

This is indeed a thread for sexism stories so why are you trying to derail it with talk of people being 'socially awkward'. Unless they have severe mental difficulties there is really no excuse for expecting female gamers to respond positively to such things as 'You like games be my girlfriend' In what universe is that a good idea.

The thread was already derailed when I got to it as half of these "stories of sexism" are not stories of sexism at all but stories of tormenting people looking for an online relationship. I have highlighted the fact these people don't understand what sexism is.
I'm not saying you should respond positively to "you like games be my girlfriend." I would appeal to you to respond in a rational and non-demeaning manner (y'know two wrongs don't make a right and all).
I am telling you objectively that it is wrong to call these people sexist, it has a very specific definition that does not include the socially clueless.
I will re-iterate the description of those I am referring to (as no doubt my words will be taken out of context - again), the polite, respectful, non-aggressive but socially insecure.

It's the expectation that is sexist not the act of asking. Women are there to play the game not entertain you. It's this problem again of objectification. Women are people. It's not an anime dating game.

Asking someone to date you is not the same as expecting them to, in fact it almost the opposite.
Attempting to gain companionship is not the same thing as trying to get entertainment, it's extremely cold hearted to think so.
One goes to a nightclub to drink, listen to music and dance, so is it sexist to flirt with people in a night club?
One goes to a supermarket to shop, so is it sexist to flirt with people in a supermarket?
By your logic the only places it's not sexist to flirt at are dating web sites and dating events.

Whether it's right or wrong, how tacky or childish it is, for people to make passes at each other online is for each individual to decide.
But whether you think it's right or wrong, there is no justification for calling it sexist.

In fact, isn't assuming that every online male that makes a polite, respectful and non-aggressive attempt to get to know you romantically, is only interested in entertainment, sexist?