Paranoia

[Scde2]

You automatically get a parasite.

Going on the Escapist.

 

[Scde2]

A meteor hits you.

You get surgery.

 

[Scde2]

There is a sniper who threatens to shoot you if you don't do what he says.

You go hug your grandma.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

You get more depressed by the thought of needing anti-depressants than the anti-depressants make you less depressed, the thought of how the anti-depressants don't work makes you even more depressed.

Lures people inside research-facilities with the promise of cake.

 

[Scde2]

Costs too much money.

You are still alive.

 

[Scde2]

It can never open.

Having dinner with Charles Manson.

 

[Shanaar]

In a NaCl solution with a temperature of 38 degrees Celsius.

Your doing science.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

You create a syntethic lifeform that immediately devours you.

Dropping the bucket.

 

[Rasputin1]

You drop it on a poisonious scorpion, which immediatly attacks.

Watching tv.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

The TV explodes in your face for unknown reasons.

Catching them all.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

They all rebel and kill you.

Opening the door for someone.

 

[Scde2]

They steal your house when you're not looking.

Using the AC.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

You get electrocuted.

Bending the spoon.

 

[Safe in the Dark]

The spoon bends you.

Worshipping Lucifer

 

[Lazy Kitty]

Lucifer takes your soul and passes it on to his/her (he/she changes it all the time) master: me.

Messing with Space-Time.

 

[Safe in the Dark]

Space and Time kill you in a drive by.

Unzipping your pants.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

You get eaten by my pants.

Posting this post.

 

[Safe in the Dark]

Someone posts below you

Riding a jaguar

 

[Lazy Kitty]

You get eaten by the jaguar.

Starting to see a pattern in my own posts.

 

[Safe in the Dark]

The pattern becomes predictable

chopping my arms off and flying into the sun