Pepsi Wants To Snackify Drinks and Drinkify Snacks

[MomoHime64]

This will be popular in the Midwest, you know, what with all the toothless hungry meth addicts looking to get more fruits in their diet.

 

[Biosophilogical]

Ew, that actually sounds very unappealing, I'm not sure if selling baby food in a drink pouch is the way to reinvent yourself.

It sounds more like eating over-set jelly or something. Or maybe some form of sludge monster (you know, those ones that look like something between gum and jelly) distilled into food form. Regardless, it sounds like an unpleasant eating experience because it would be too slimey to feel good eating and too solid to drink.

 

[Wolfram23]

Pepsi responds that the goal of Tropolis is to get kids eating fruit. The process of introducing kids to fruit needs a middleman.

Yeah sure, like a parent.

 

[Formica Archonis]

I'm all for coining words. It's one of the many ways the language adapts and grows. However, these corporate-spawned words are vile abominations. They love bolting random suffixes to whatever they can and have left incentivize, monetize, synergize, incentivate, etc. in their foul wake.

As to the actual non-food/non-beverage being peddled? I have no idea. Take it away, Zager and Evans!

In the year 4545
You ain't gonna need your teeth, won't need your eyes
You won't find a thing to chew
Nobody's gonna look at you

 

[2xDouble]

They should spend their time on more profitable pursuits, like caffeinated bacon - or baconated grapefruit.

damn, ninja'd.

Oh well, after you get your promotion, Admiral, we can partake of some Archduke Chocula. Or get ourselves a bavarian cream-dog that's self-microwaving... (get on it, PepsiCo!) heh.

But seriously... this does look like a terrible idea. What they need to do is take the A&W route and get their products made into flavors of gourmet jelly beans, or perhaps a gum or fruit snack if they can get that to work. If they were really smart, they'd market their flat soda as an energy drink (come on, you know some people will buy a Pepsi Cola-flavored energy drink).

PS:

I thought up a similar concept a while ago when I realized that I had to clone myself and get four jobs in order to cover the family debt.

I called it "Almost food" a substance that is almost nourishing, capable of sustaining life, and cheap enough that you could buy barrels of it for the price of a single meal. I'm still working on the formula. I hope Pepsi doesn't beat me to it.

They already have that. Its called cat food. heh.

 

[Jabberwock xeno]

Fire the man who came up with those buzzwords.

Out of a cannon into the sun, I don't want their gene's still in the genepool.

Bungie's already on it, just wait for step 7...

 

[TeeBs]

Sounds like a smoothie, or just plain juice, I fail to understand how this is anything original.

 

[5-0]

Douchify.

This sounds stupid.

 

[UnwishedGunz]

are "snackify" and "drinkify" real words???

 

[Viper1265]

Looking at the description, this product sounds like it's just flavored apple sauce that comes in a pouch. Good thing I like apple sauce so if I ever see in in stores I might give it a try.

 

[DevilWolf47]

Go ahead and die Pepsi. Your titular drink is disgusting, and the Dr. Pepper group has already made a good enough replacement for Mountain Dew, so we don't need you anymore. I'll forgive you if you force Coke to drop it's prices, but right now, after that stupid idea to "Drinkify Snacks," i have no sympathies for your failures.

 

[Madame Blueberry]

Does anyone else think this sounds a lot like babyfood? Hmm wonder if it comes in blueberry.
Once again the midwest is the target for junkfood, with the emphasis on junk. Also, these little squeeze containers are getting more and more use. Could be worth looking into the composition of the packaging. What a waste to spend time and energy picking, trucking, mushing, packaging, and then trucking some more. Then there is the packaging that gets jauled to the landfill, instead of a fruit peel that can be composted and used to enrich the soil. How about introducing children to real fruit? What a concept!

 

[Hashime]

My dad uses things like those on his long run, in fact I have used things like that at half-time playing summer football. They are called "gels" and endurance athletes have been using them for ages.

 

[JoshGod]

I remember hearing somewhere fairly recently that pepsi was worth more than coke, most due to its snacks while behind them with drinks, so this is not surprising.

 

[Karisse]

Are marketing majors taught to make up words?

 

[TheAmazingHobo]

Does anyone else think this sounds a lot like babyfood? Hmm wonder if it comes in blueberry.

You know that´s.... that´s actually a disconcernigly good point (not the blueberry one, the babyfood one. That blueberry one is just silly.).
Isn´t this stuff pretty much just sugared up babyfood ?
.... Holy fuck, is Pepsi`ACTUALLY trying to sell us babyfood as a snack ?

 

[Anton P. Nym]

I have a vague memory of playing this scenario in Paranoia, the tabletop RPG.

"The Computer has designed a new snack for Alpha Complex. The Computer says it is delicious. All those who disagree are therefor Commie-mutant-traitors who must report to the food vats for rendering. Enjoy your new snack, Citizens! That is all."

-- Steve