Physical attraction: Some things I've noticed

[Pieturli]

Alright, lets get this rolling. Here's a link to a previous thread that is sort of related: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.856968-Lets-talk-about-Obesity-Acceptance#21231941


Anyways, I wanted to post about some purely unscientific findings I've collected regarding physical attraction.

Basically, what I've done over the years is ask a whole shitload of men and women of all ages about two things:

1) What they think the opposite sex finds attractive (appearance)

2) What they find attractive in the opposite sex (still appearance)

What I've found is that first off, women tended to say that they think men like women who are rail thin but with huge tits. Men on the other hand were curiously split along two lines: some said that women like big pecs, and the others said that women like skinny guys with visible abs. Visible musculature was the shared quality here. Whats more, people tended to think that these were fairly absolute, all-sweeping preferences.


Now when I asked the second question, something interesting happened: basically, no one cared. Or well, obviously everyone cared. Lets not beat around the bush, physical attractiveness is important. We are visually based animals and we like people who look good to us. The point is, women said that they liked guys who were bigger than they were, muscular but not colossal, but being skinny and small was okay too. Fat was also acceptable as long as they weren't proper fucking tubs of lard. Men on the other hand said that skinny girls are hot, but they didn't mind extra weight either. More cushion for the pushin, as it were. A bit of a belly was often considered "cute". Big, nice looking tits were usually preferred, but no one minded small boobs either.

You see where this is going? Basically, it seems like both genders think that the opposite genders preferences are much more narrow than they actually are. They tend to think that the opposite sex wants one specific thing, whereas in reality their definition of attractive is fairly broad. To put it succinctly, as long as you weren't extremely skinny, extremely fat, or immensely muscular, you were fine. It seems that no one gives as much of a shit about how you look as you do.

Case in point: me. I have a preference for white skin, big tits, dark hair and blue eyes. A reasonable level of bodyfat is also desired. Despite that fact, I find all these women to be extremely beautiful:

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Despite the fact that they all look rather different, have different builds and so on, I find all of them attractive. Crazy, right?


Thoughts, comments, musings, all welcome!

 

[JoJo]

Yeah, I think there's something deeply instinctive about attraction which is difficult to explain in words or rules. I've never really been able to pin down many absolutes for myself, as long as they're approximately in the right age range and not wildly obese or physically disabled in certain ways, nothing can be ruled out. That isn't to say I don't have preferences but sometimes someone can break those preferences and still be insanely attractive you know? I guess it must be something hard wired deep.

 

[shootthebandit]

My simple answer is that we all like different stuff. I personally think that a good 90% of women are attractive. I wouldnt say I have low standards but I think that the female form is beautiful regardless. Obviously I do have a limit but the 10% I find unattractive someone else may find attractive. Its really subjective.

One thing I have noticed in a country where women all wear veils and long robes that I havent realised yet is that you can tell how attractive a woman is by very small details you wouldnt normally notice. ive never noticed how attractive eyes can be.

We will be walking down the street and we will all turn around and agree that someone (whos face and body is covered) is hot. You cant even describe it. Perhaps its the way someone walks or the way they hold themselves but you can just tell they are hot. Remarkable what attracts people

 

[zen5887]

I know what you're saying. I could walk down the street in the city or at uni and find 15 different girls attractive and they'd all look nothing alike. It sounds like it should be obviously but I think the way the media and other outside influences only shine the light on a real narrow scope of "attractiveness" warps our sense of what is considered good looking. You couldn't fault a girl for thinking guys only want a tall skinny girl with big boobs or guys for thinking girls only want a rugged hunk with abs, because that's all they ever see on TV. I've never seen a kinda flabby guy with bad psoriasis presented as attractive on TV, so it wouldn't be unfair of me to assume that people don't find kinda flabby guys with bad psoriasis attractive.

The reality is there are infinite other factors that come into play when real people think about what they think looks good. I might be flabby but I've got those cool dark eyes some people are into. That girl might have small boobs but her facial structure is perfect. And to be real, so much of your 'attractiveness' comes down to how you dress to suit your body type. Like, if you're walking around in 3/4 denim shorts, sandals, and an oversized shirt, it might not be the best way to show off how good looking you could be. To put it nicely.

 

[Super Cyborg]

I think physical attraction is what gets us interested in a person initially. We see someone we think is physically attractive, and we imagine dating that person and possibly marrying them. Now here's the kicker, at least for me. I imagine said woman to have the personality that I like and find attractive. When I find out what kind of personality and attitude one has, that changes my perception of the person immediately. Suddenly the attractive person in unattractive, and a person that is less attractive becomes very attractive. It's kind of like the first impression thing, people will judge you on your appearance, but once they get to know you, their opinion really starts to change. That's how I see it anyways.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

You know there's a difference between "fat" and "curvy in all the right places" (like the first picture OP posted, or Christina Hendricks for that matter).

 

[ultratog1028]

Both genders probably think of the other as narrow minded as a way to "set a goal" to maintain the inbetween area; Not anorexic, not obese. The further away from these two options, the more attractive a person seems to become.

"Healthy" is the desired sexual appearance for most humans. What Society defines as healthy varies between cultures.

 

[Jadak]

I've never seen a kinda flabby guy with bad psoriasis presented as attractive on TV, so it wouldn't be unfair of me to assume that people don't find kinda flabby guys with bad psoriasis attractive.

I had to do an image search of psoriasis to figure out what exactly that was, and holy shit, big mistake. I think it is very fair to assume that a bad case of that is generally not considered attractive.

As for the topic, not even sure what opinion is worth giving, so I'll just comment on the pictures.

First girl, more fat than I find desirable. Not so much that I'd call her unattractive, I'd have no objections to fooling around with such a body. But, I know myself well enough to say I would quickly grow bored of her, in terms of sexual desire. Tits are also bigger than I want, on that girl or a thinner one, too big and floppy that they look good in a tight shirt, but are more comedic than arousing when handled.

Take a girl with that look, drop about 30lbs and drop at least 1/3 of the boob size, then we're in the sweet spot.

The second girl, hard to say given that it's only a face shot and she isn't exactly aiming for an attractive expression, but I'd hazard a guess to say that she's overall on the cute side.

Edit: Apparently it's this girl: https://www.youtube.com/user/DexterityBonus, and yeah, I find her attractive.

And yeah, yvonne strahovski is generally pretty damn sexy. Always been something I find off-putting about her face, but not significantly.

 

[Ieyke]

Jesus. Did you literally go find THE WORST picture of Dodger I've EVER seen?

But yea, that's Brooke 'Dodger' Leigh Lawson (@DexBonus, DexterityBonus, PressHeartToContinue, P<32C).


And YES, Dodger's a little cutie.
She's GORGEOUS, in fact, when she bothers to put effort into it.

Spoiler: Mod edit: Please use spoilers when posting large images Ieyke edit: Everyone else needs to get internet that isn't complete shit so that these little images arent thought of as large anymore.

But yea, she's all over the place every day cranking out loads of YouTube content - gaming news, gameplays, podcasts, vlogs, game reviews, DIY projects, skits, hosting shows for the Polaris network, etc etc etc.
Normally she looks more like that 3rd picture - too busy to be all fancy, and preoccupied just being sassy and kinda actin' like a goober.

Kinda dressed up Dodger:
vs 3 hours of completely regular Dodger podcasting from her house:

 

[Esotera]

I don't think that's the case at all. I think it's the opposite. I think it's learned behavior.

Well, okay, the basics of sexual attraction, i.e. the fact that people (apart from asexuals) are attracted to some sex, that's probably hard-wired instinct. But the notions that certain features are more attractive than others, that's almost certainly learned behavior because we can observe it changing from culture to culture and from time to time. When Twiggy was in, women with rail-thin bodies were thought to be hot. When Marilyn Monroe was it, then suddenly more curvaceous (but still fairly slender) women were on top. In past societies women who would have been considered obese by modern standards were hot. And that's not even getting into all the weird body modifications some societies have done like foot-binding, neck-elongating, ritual scarification, whatever.

Is that actually true though? Those examples are mostly of famous people who were considered attractive by the media of their day. The media today have a very definition of beauty so I don't see why this would be any different back then.

 

[Julius Terrell]

Well.....being 5'3", I've struggled so badly with women. When I found out that height is something that women absolutely love I felt so devastated.

I mean in other aspects men can get away with a lot when it comes to looks, but being short is something most women hate in a man. Otherwise I am a fairly attractive guy. I've kept myself up and I have an agreeable personality.

Where I work at women rarely look in my direction, or try to have a conversation with me. I have to chase them down just to talk to them.

What I can't understand is why it's acceptable for a guy to be overweight/obese and still be attractive. I always figured that people like that for the most part were slobs, and didn't care about their overall health.

It seems like the longer live, the less I understand women.

 

[thehorror2]

We're on the internet, of course we'll be able to find people who are attracted to everything. I was able to find women who are/were attracted to me in meatspace, so it stands to reason that with roughly EVERYONE who isn't just fucking to stay alive in one community, everyone can find someone to be attracted to, and vice versa. Summed up handily by this song:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mqwj0pvNbFU

 

[clippen05]

Kind of unfair how the things most women find attractive (physically) about men (abs, muscles) have to be worked for through hours and hours of dedication while the things most men find (physically) attractive (breasts, butt) are more or less only given from birth. (Although there is surgery I suppose) There is common ground with faces I suppose, but still, in terms of 'turn-on' features, women are born, men are bred.

I am skinny, which is made worse by the fact that I am tall and have long arms. So all around skeletor. I can't gain weight, I don't even exercise all that much besides walking and the occasional kickabout. For most people, this is unattractive. Men have to be skinny with abs, women just have to be skinny. But here I go being whiny because of my lack of success with the ladies.

 

[Alcamonic]

Understanding what other people find desirable is close to impossible. It's better to just ignore it, do your thing, and things will sort themselves out eventually.

Don't be afraid to talk with others, this I find is the worst offender when I read "stories" on the internet. Seriously, we might still be animals, but having a nice chat with people is far easier than hoping that someone will fall for you because you flex your body in public.

Just don't go around naked in public, it won't speed up the process of finding a partner, unless you're really into cops.

 

[Julius Terrell]

Kind of unfair how the things most women find attractive (physically) about men (abs, muscles) have to be worked for through hours and hours of dedication while the things most men find (physically) attractive (breasts, butt) are more or less only given from birth. (Although there is surgery I suppose) There is common ground with faces I suppose, but still, in terms of 'turn-on' features, women are born, men are bred.

I am skinny, which is made worse by the fact that I am tall and have long arms. So all around skeletor. I can't gain weight, I don't even exercise all that much besides walking and the occasional kickabout. For most people, this is unattractive. Men have to be skinny with abs, women just have to be skinny. But here I go being whiny because of my lack of success with the ladies.

I'm more physically fit then you can imagine, but it hasn't really helped me at all. I've seen some pretty unattractive people with kids and the whole nine yards. How can super obese women still manage to attract a guy is beyond me. I see it ALL THE TIME.

 

[Pieturli]

Jesus. Did you literally go find THE WORST picture of Dodger I've EVER seen?

I thought it was cute!

 

[L. Declis]

Well.....being 5'3", I've struggled so badly with women. When I found out that height is something that women absolutely love I felt so devastated.

I mean in other aspects men can get away with a lot when it comes to looks, but being short is something most women hate in a man. Otherwise I am a fairly attractive guy. I've kept myself up and I have an agreeable personality.

Where I work at women rarely look in my direction, or try to have a conversation with me. I have to chase them down just to talk to them.

What I can't understand is why it's acceptable for a guy to be overweight/obese and still be attractive. I always figured that people like that for the most part were slobs, and didn't care about their overall health.

It seems like the longer live, the less I understand women.

Well, having that attitude about it won't help things. If you're insecure about your height, they'll look even less.

You know how to understand women? Imagine them as men, but they prefer to talk a bit more. They're ultimately the same.

Also, there are always shorter women. Go to Asia if you need to find some. Or South America.

The reason a guy can be overweight is this; how does he carry it? Is he confident? Is he attractive even with the weight? Also, a man can lose weight. A man can't get tall.

But seriously, reading the above, the first thing you may want to fix is your attitude. A tall guy with a self-pitying attitude is just as unattractive. Don't let the media fool you; no one likes the miserable brooder.

 

[Something Amyss]

I cabn't speak for others, but I don't really have fixed preference. Or more accurately, the only thing I really have is fixed turn-offs. I don't, for example, like women or men who are so muscled as to look deformed. What interests me and/or turns me off is fairly fluid and largely trivial. I like looking at attractive people, but again, my definition of attractive tends to be pretty loose.

...With a list like this, I'm living proof you can not possibly argue about what makes physical attraction tick!

Eyes?