There will two lines of thought for everyone who hears the word 'pie'. One will be a light, puffy pastry, containing various succulent meats, vegetables and gravy.
The other will be some sort of dessert nonsense that has no right to be called a pie.
Awwww yeaaaaah
In the beginning, there was meat, and it was good. But a man can only eat so much meat, and sadly, meat would go to waste.
This angered the Great British Food God, who spent the good portion of one hundred thousand years fightning off the Food Standards Agency.
Naturally though, he came up with cunning plan. Stick the leftover meat into something, and then eat it later.
And the pie was born. A handy palm sized package of deliciousness that can sate any man's hunger 'till tea time.
The steam that escapes from the first crack in a fresh hot pie has been proven to be nine hundred thousand degrees celsius. That's pretty bloody hot, and would warm anyone in the harshest winters.
'But Daystar, you teen heartthrob you, what would one eat during the summer, when it's too hot to eat pies?' I hear you cry.
That's a good question you constipated turnip monger.
Cold pies!
There's pastry wrapped meat for every occasion:
And many, many more.
But what if you're craving something sweet but want it in the form of a pie?
Well first, you should check your birth certificate, make sure you're not an American, because if you're not, then you've got a serious medical condition.
There is, however, one exception to the sweet pie rule, but you're only allowed it during Christmas.
Mince pies
Confusing British children for generations. It looks like it has meat in it, but it's dried fruit, and it's got 'mince' in the name, thus creating more confusion.
It's often said that you can judge a man by the food he eats.
When Americans get a snack during half time of whatever nonsense sport they watch, they get a hot dog.
A rather phallic object, in a bun.
The Aussies are too busy dying from whatever dangerous animal has gotten in their trousers that day.
The Kiwis are too busy being unnoticed.
The Canadians are too busy being cold to do anything.
The British. The British eat...
Loads of bloody pies, with meat and gravy and manliness in every bite!
[HEADING=1]raaaaawr! manly pies for manly men![/HEADING]
The other will be some sort of dessert nonsense that has no right to be called a pie.
Awwww yeaaaaah
In the beginning, there was meat, and it was good. But a man can only eat so much meat, and sadly, meat would go to waste.
This angered the Great British Food God, who spent the good portion of one hundred thousand years fightning off the Food Standards Agency.
Naturally though, he came up with cunning plan. Stick the leftover meat into something, and then eat it later.
And the pie was born. A handy palm sized package of deliciousness that can sate any man's hunger 'till tea time.
The steam that escapes from the first crack in a fresh hot pie has been proven to be nine hundred thousand degrees celsius. That's pretty bloody hot, and would warm anyone in the harshest winters.
'But Daystar, you teen heartthrob you, what would one eat during the summer, when it's too hot to eat pies?' I hear you cry.
That's a good question you constipated turnip monger.
Cold pies!
There's pastry wrapped meat for every occasion:
And many, many more.
But what if you're craving something sweet but want it in the form of a pie?
Well first, you should check your birth certificate, make sure you're not an American, because if you're not, then you've got a serious medical condition.
There is, however, one exception to the sweet pie rule, but you're only allowed it during Christmas.
Mince pies
Confusing British children for generations. It looks like it has meat in it, but it's dried fruit, and it's got 'mince' in the name, thus creating more confusion.
It's often said that you can judge a man by the food he eats.
When Americans get a snack during half time of whatever nonsense sport they watch, they get a hot dog.
A rather phallic object, in a bun.
The Aussies are too busy dying from whatever dangerous animal has gotten in their trousers that day.
The Kiwis are too busy being unnoticed.
The Canadians are too busy being cold to do anything.
The British. The British eat...
Loads of bloody pies, with meat and gravy and manliness in every bite!
[HEADING=1]raaaaawr! manly pies for manly men![/HEADING]
