Poll: A deal with the devil...

[octafish]

You say you want to be rich, you want to be wealthy?
Think I'd rather be poor and healthy.

Everybody want to be King, but they ain't,
And everbody want to get rich rite away...

 

[Arnoxthe1]

Doesn't anyone in this thread know what Schizophrenia is? If you all knew, I'm pretty sure at least half of you guys would retract your first answer.

Legs though. That's an easy one. Implants are actually getting better than normal legs now.

 

[MammothBlade]

Schizophrenia is not split personality disorder.

So, if the OP meant the second but then gave you schizophrenia you've been royally buggered.

Nope, I definitely meant the real meaning of the word and not split personality.

Also, great avatar, is that from an anime?

Yeah, from Fairy Tail.

The problem with this scenario is the phrase "the devil will honor his end of the agreement." From what I've read in comics and fantasy stories, I've learned that demons NEVER hold up their end of a deal. A demon will exploit every loophole to screw you over and steal your soul. Case in point: Johnny Blaze aka Ghost Rider. He sold his soul to cure his adoptive father's cancer only for the guy to die in a motorcycle crash. The point is if a demon offers some miracle in exchange for your soul; RUN!

Ghost Rider's father was just unlucky and probably a bit accident prone. Don't blame the Devil for something like that. You're hurting his feelings, sure his dealings are a bit seedy, but he's not some callous monster, he would never betray his word.

How's that for Devil's advocate?

hmm... considering I already have schizophrenia, does that take me out of the first option? Or would taking it just make it advance a hell of a lot faster then normal?

I would also like to know about the whole 'No legs' thing - where are they cut off, exactly? Below the knee or above the knee? If it's below the knee... well, I'mma have to pass on that option (unless prosthetic legs have knees now... haven't been keeping track of it, considering I have two working legs atm)

Sure you can still pick option 1, it makes your condition considerably worse.

They're cut above the knee.

 

[marioandsonic]

Take my legs.

With that kind of money, I could probably buy a new par of artificial legs, at least.

 

[Rad Party God]

Well, considering that my cousin died because he had schizophrenia, my grandmother has diabetes and I'd certainly wouldn't like to have my legs amputed (wich would be the lesser evil of the four), I'd like to keep being a decently healthy human being, thank you.

 

[DanielBrown]

Take my legs, please!
Don't need them for playing games anyway. I'll get a butler to carry me around!

 

[DiMono]

I'll take my health, thank you; I can always earn money.

 

[Zuljeet]

Well, in all fairness, if you think the devil showed up to offer you *any* amount of money, you probably already have schizophrenia.

 

[NoOne852]

Assuming Lucifer was real and the consequences were limited to only what you have listed...
I would have to say good-bye to my legs. I would probably end up spending a good half of it on prostectics, wheelchairs, and the sort. College would probably difficult considering how some of my classes are set up and I would be curious as to how driving will work out.

 

[Lord Mountbatten Reborn]

I'm somewhat surprised people (and I'm assuming incredibly misinformed people, if not outright stupid) are choosing schizophrenia over diabetes. Diabetes, whilst bad, is much easier to manage (especially nowadays), whilst schizophrenia is a severely debilitating condition. You would be a shell of your former self, would suffer from paranoid delusions and would be a risk to others as well as yourself. As others have pointed out, it has nothing to do with multiple personalities.

Diabetes requires you to not be a slob about your health, even if severe.

 

[Lightning Delight]

...better yet, I'd whip out my fiddle and say "Let's make this interesting!"

I was really hoping someone would say this. You just made my day.

OT: I wouldn't take any of them because no amount of money could make up for not being crippled/insane/severely diabetic. Although, if I did have to choose one, It would be diabetes, because that one seems like it would be easiest to deal with.

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

Oh HEEEEEELLL NO!

I'm genre savvy enough to know that making a deal with a demon will ALWAYS screw you over. ALWAYS. Unless you can bamboozle him back. Which is next to impossible.

So no. No deal. Ever.

*also, I don't believe in demons/devils. Humans are capable of all the evil in the world already. An outside source tempting humanity is just unnecessary.*

 

[ShindoL Shill]

Why the hell am I doing this for a few million dollars? I want something I can't get by working hard. Like immortality, or time-travel, or the ability to warp things physically and mentally, or all of the above. And why can't I say I'll use my mind-control powers to force ten others to sign over their souls instead of my one, and ACTUALLY DO IT?

Unless you can bamboozle him back. Which is next to impossible.

Ambiguity in a contract favours the person who didn't write it. So let's look here (remember children, this was offered BY the Devil, so he wrote it):
1. Schizophrenia. It doesn't specify which subtype, nor does it say all subtypes.
2. Which type? Type 1 or Type 2?
3. It doesn't mention why, where or by whom. Does the Devil take them immediately? Because that is mutilation, not amputation. Does the Devil give me bilateral gangrene? The contract never said that. It said they get amputated. Do I get them amputated in 50 years by a doctor giving me cyborg legs?
All it is definite about is that I get money.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Possibly bucking the trend here, but I'd take Schizophrenia. It can be "cured", or at least pushed into submission. Diabetes would need insulin and no sugar (couldn't handle that) and I enjoy the use of my legs too much.

£5 million would set me up for enough that I could take care of my mind.

And anyway, with Schizophrenia - there really isn't a devil anymore - just another voice. And the insights I'd gain along with the mind-clawing pain might be worth it.

Probably not, but you have to try these things.

 

[Sonicron]

Greetings, Escapist forums.

I'd like to announce that there is no such offer as described in the OP at this time; be advised, user MammothBlade is fabricating - there will be no payout for amputating your legs, regardless of the method used, nor will there be compensation for anyone with crippling mental disorders and/or chronic illnesses.
We'll take this modification to our business plan under advisement, of course, and salute MammothBlade for his ingenuity, but recent expenditures on extravagant new torture suites (reserved for hundreds of high-ranking politicians and members of the financial sector) make it unfeasible for the moment.

Have a pleasant day, and I'll see you all down here at your appointed time.
Sincerely,
--The Devil

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

All it is definite about is that I get money.

Of course, it doesn't say if the money BELONGS to you...

 

[ShindoL Shill]

All it is definite about is that I get money.

Of course, it doesn't say if the money BELONGS to you...

Touché...

 

[Vivi22]

I'd go with the diabetes. It seems the least severe of the costs, and also the one that money can best help. Other than turning your amputated legs into rocket launchers, of course.

For a lot of people diabetes can actually be effectively managed or largely managed with diet alone (though I believe it can be a bit more difficult with type 1 than type 2). I see a couple of people choosing schizophrenia and a lot more saying amputation, but honestly, if you can make the switch to a low carb diet diabetes is by far the easiest to cope with.

I'd personally keep my health, but if I were to choose any of these it absolutely would not be any option other than diabetes.

 

[VladG]

Not enough money for any of the deals. Would never take schizophrenia, diabetes is an early death sentence. Overall, no deal.

 

[SwimmingRock]

Trust that the Lord of Flies keeps his end of the bargain? Only a fool would trust the devil.

I've always preferred the vision on Lucifer presented in Mike Careys eponynous comic book series. The relevant bit:
?They used to call the devil the father of lies. But for someone whose sin is meant to be pride, you'd think that lying would leave something of a sour taste. So my theory is that when the devil wants to get something out of you, he doesn't lie at all. He tells you the exact, literal truth. And he lets you find your own way to hell.?

So I would trust this agreement. That said, I don't like the options and money isn't something I'm very interested in. As long as I can make a living, that's fine by me. I have other pursuits which bring me much more happiness than gold-plated toilet seats. One of those pursuits is dancing, so fuck anybody who tries to take my legs.