No, you're not to blame since you were looking out for your brother. I guess I can't relly blame on the girls either as they were drunk so they weren't thinking straight.
Poll: Am I to blame
- Thread starter knight steel
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The fact you told them they should go puts you partially to blame, then the blame shifts to them by leaving without the designated driver (on top of that it is rude, you gave up a night of drinking to drive them). I was not given enough information on the attackers to make an informed decision, for all I know your two lady friends could have instigated the attack, but I assume not.
You're not to blame, I think. However, while it's their right to leave, you should have continued to advise against it. Nonetheless, you tried reasoning with them; yet, they still had the audacity to blame you for being attacked. Honestly, they sound pathetic. They're probably your typical snooty, attention-seeking girls who think that they're at the center of the universe. Would I be right?
Nope, I don't see how it's your fault. You said you were sober, you said they should wait, they were too drunk to listen to reason.
I would say the only one was who was at fault was the attacker, although he could be only defending himself from them for all I know.
You can't look out for someone who doesn't want your help- simple as that.
I would say the only one was who was at fault was the attacker, although he could be only defending himself from them for all I know.
You can't look out for someone who doesn't want your help- simple as that.
I wouldn't blame you. You did the right thing. You stayed with your brother and requested they stay with you and wait. you did nothing wrong. If they had only waited a bit longer, this would of been avoided.
people are just impatient.
people are just impatient.
Well, if all is as you say, you acted reasonably. They wanted to leave, you advised against it, they took offense, there was nothing else that you could have done short of physically restraining them, which would have been wrong. They're adults, when they make poor decisions, it's their responsibility - even if they're drunk, because by choosing to get drunk and screw up their ability to make good decisions, they're responsible for all the poor decisions they make thereafter.
Why on earth has anyone voted for an option other than "the attacker was to blame"?
OP isn't to blame because it was their choice to leave, and they aren't to blame because short clothing does not give permission to molest.
Surely, as with any other crime, the blame must lie with the perpetrator and no-one else?
OP isn't to blame because it was their choice to leave, and they aren't to blame because short clothing does not give permission to molest.
Surely, as with any other crime, the blame must lie with the perpetrator and no-one else?
Yep that exactly what they said-they said that they were too drunk to make the right choice and as the sober driver I should have restrained them and stoped them from leaving by any means necessary.Zykon TheLich said:
Yeah I admit looking back on what I typed it does sounds absurd/made up but I promise you it did happen-also I read your comment in your avatars voice which gave me a good laugh so thanks for thatJT-ham said:
Yea...I don't know what to say but if someone expects you to ditch your intoxicated family member alone for their own problems then they are people who have really messed up priorities. Honestly if they can't see that then you should really rethink your consideration of them as friends.
Oh my god yes you are totally to blame. You should be ashamed of yourself you filthy, filthy little monkey. What did those poor honey badgers ever do to you?
Sorry, what were we talking about?
OT: Wow, your fault because you couldn't keep their dumb asses in a bar after they'd turned its customers against you?
That should be your approximate reaction to that pair of twits, and if your friends are really your friends they'll get your side of the story instead of just taking theirs for face value.
Did they even bother to call the cops after that? There's obviously a rapist or two hanging out around that bar the cops should be keeping an eye out for. That's provided they're not making shit up and their bruises didn't come from them drunkenly stumbling over something. Either way, ditch the bitches; you don't need friends like that.
Sorry, what were we talking about?
OT: Wow, your fault because you couldn't keep their dumb asses in a bar after they'd turned its customers against you?
That should be your approximate reaction to that pair of twits, and if your friends are really your friends they'll get your side of the story instead of just taking theirs for face value.
Did they even bother to call the cops after that? There's obviously a rapist or two hanging out around that bar the cops should be keeping an eye out for. That's provided they're not making shit up and their bruises didn't come from them drunkenly stumbling over something. Either way, ditch the bitches; you don't need friends like that.
So you warned them that they where likely to be assaulted, they yelled at you for somehow blaming the victim, and then they got assaulted.
I really do not see how this is in any way or form your fault. You did your part in trying to convince them to stay, they spit in the face of your advice and left anyways and got the natural consequences for their stupidity.
Dressing provocatively is going to make you a target for those types of scum, doesn't mean you deserve it or where asking for it. It's just like walking into a bad neighborhood alone makes you a target for gangs, but it's not like you deserve to be attacked. Those girls and everyone else shouting you down at that bar need to get their heads out of their asses.
I really do not see how this is in any way or form your fault. You did your part in trying to convince them to stay, they spit in the face of your advice and left anyways and got the natural consequences for their stupidity.
Dressing provocatively is going to make you a target for those types of scum, doesn't mean you deserve it or where asking for it. It's just like walking into a bad neighborhood alone makes you a target for gangs, but it's not like you deserve to be attacked. Those girls and everyone else shouting you down at that bar need to get their heads out of their asses.
Here's how I see it - you aren't at all to blame. Were you all sober, you wouldn't be to blame at all anyway, but since the girls were drunk, you had a certain responsibility, which I think you fulfilled by encouraging them to wait. So that's that out of the way.
The attacker is somewhat to blame, and so are the girls. They ignored your advice and furthermore ridiculed you for it, which is not something I feel is within the bounds of excusability, drunk or not. If you hadn't mentioned that they may be assaulted, and there was no reasonable expectation, it would have been entirely the attacker's fault, but seeing as you had warned them and established that there was a chance they would be attacked, they went aware of that chance. In the end, it's like standing at the edge of a cliff, falling to your death and trying to attribute blame. Of course your death is entirely because of gravity. But you also shouldn't have been standing on the edge, you idiot. So it's entirely the girls' fault, entirely the attacker's fault, and not at all your fault.
And if your friends blame you for they're all dicks. Without exception.
The attacker is somewhat to blame, and so are the girls. They ignored your advice and furthermore ridiculed you for it, which is not something I feel is within the bounds of excusability, drunk or not. If you hadn't mentioned that they may be assaulted, and there was no reasonable expectation, it would have been entirely the attacker's fault, but seeing as you had warned them and established that there was a chance they would be attacked, they went aware of that chance. In the end, it's like standing at the edge of a cliff, falling to your death and trying to attribute blame. Of course your death is entirely because of gravity. But you also shouldn't have been standing on the edge, you idiot. So it's entirely the girls' fault, entirely the attacker's fault, and not at all your fault.
And if your friends blame you for they're all dicks. Without exception.
It's their fault and no one elses, they got themselves wasted and unable to make decisions for themselves. I've never been in your position as my friends don't go out of their way to get smashed (though they do in the comfort of our homes not on the street) and i feel people that do abuse alcohol to that level shouldn't be drinking in the first place.
Here are my two cents on the matter. (voted, the attackers are to blame btw. Since the attackers, well, attacked.)
You tried to bring them home if they were just patient, they wouldn't listen think they would be alright. That didn't happen.
You warned them this could happen, they started screaming at you and turns out you were right.
If i were you i'd probably laugh my ass off in front of them and say "told you so"
You tried to bring them home if they were just patient, they wouldn't listen think they would be alright. That didn't happen.
You warned them this could happen, they started screaming at you and turns out you were right.
If i were you i'd probably laugh my ass off in front of them and say "told you so"
Hey, you warned them about it, so I'd say it's their fault for ignoring your warnings. Obviosly most of the blame should lie with the attacker, but they were the ones who chose not to wait the 15 minutes you asked them to in order to avoid getting attacked. So no, you are not to blame for this.
Here is my advice. Try once more to politely convince them that you are not to blame and ask them to get over it (not in those exact words, pick wording that applies best to your situation). If they continue to blame you for the incident tell them that they are to blame for getting so drunk that they are incompetent, that you warned them about the dangers and are therefor in no way responsible for their problem and that you will not be going drinking with them again as they are a liability.knight steel said:I have tried explaining that to them but they won't listen-and I think insulting them would just makes things worse in general.As for distancing myself from them that's what I plan on doing but you see their friends with my other friends and we go to school/uni togthere making it harder to avoid them as I would like
You won't get yourself in their good books, but at least they will be someone else's problem. If your/their friends make an issue of it, explain the situation to them once and from then on only answer that you want nothing further to do with them. If they can't deal with that I would advise you to get new friends.
I don't believe you at all, but for a quick hypothetical lesson in tact: If you are concerned about a woman's safety and want her to wait, try not to call her a slut first.
If this isn't made up, I don't see why you would need to include such controvesial aspects. You could have said that you told them to wait, they didn't want to, they wound up getting attacked, and now they blame you for not trying harder to stop them. But no. You had to just throw in the fact that they were dressed like sluts, that you told them they were sluts, and this whole thing came about because a couple of sluts didn't want to believe they looked like sluts.
If this isn't made up, I don't see why you would need to include such controvesial aspects. You could have said that you told them to wait, they didn't want to, they wound up getting attacked, and now they blame you for not trying harder to stop them. But no. You had to just throw in the fact that they were dressed like sluts, that you told them they were sluts, and this whole thing came about because a couple of sluts didn't want to believe they looked like sluts.
Yep that's really good advice and is exactly what I plan on doing now that what the majority of people has suggested ^_^Flames66 said:Here is my advice. Try once more to politely convince them that you are not to blame and ask them to get over it (not in those exact words, pick wording that applies best to your situation). If they continue to blame you for the incident tell them that they are to blame for getting so drunk that they are incompetent, that you warned them about the dangers and are therefor in no way responsible for their problem and that you will not be going drinking with them again as they are a liability.knight steel said:I have tried explaining that to them but they won't listen-and I think insulting them would just makes things worse in general.As for distancing myself from them that's what I plan on doing but you see their friends with my other friends and we go to school/uni togthere making it harder to avoid them as I would like
You won't get yourself in their good books, but at least they will be someone else's problem. If your/their friends make an issue of it, explain the situation to them once and from then on only answer that you want nothing further to do with them. If they can't deal with that I would advise you to get new friends.
...........................ok?manic_depressive13 said:
No need to get so hostile towards me-The reason I included all the details is so people had as much context about the situation as possible as they tend to ask for that,if you don't believe me fine then why post?
And I didn't call them slut's in anyway shape or form,I asked them to wait,they asked why,I said it was dangerous,they asked why and I gave the reason's that it was late,they were drunk and that the way they were dressed may cause unwanted attention-nowhere did I say that they were slut's because of the way they dressed and I never said that their clothes were slutty your the only one who assumed all that.
You were responsible for providing a means of transporting their intoxicated asses home. They decided to attempt another means of transportation because your free method of transportation had a slight time delay.
"Blame" is a difficult word to employ in such a scenario. The attacker is clearly to blame for the damage caused yet they are to "blame" for putting themselves in such a vulnerable situation.
If you are expected to resort to physical force to protect your friends from themselves you need to get paid for that service and be given a motherfucking waiver.
Ditch these friends, insult them, they are not worth your time.
"Blame" is a difficult word to employ in such a scenario. The attacker is clearly to blame for the damage caused yet they are to "blame" for putting themselves in such a vulnerable situation.
If you are expected to resort to physical force to protect your friends from themselves you need to get paid for that service and be given a motherfucking waiver.
Ditch these friends, insult them, they are not worth your time.