Poll: Are Internet Relationships Real Relationships?

[New Troll]

My last relationship was founded over the internet, and it was a real relationship.

My current fiance I also met over the internet. And I positively think she's perfect for me.

Personally, I don't see why one should limit thier area of attraction. If you can't find someone special in your town/ city/ county/ state, then what's wrong with looking further? Internet holds no boundaries. Course I would also tell people to play it safe, make sure you get to know the person for real. Even if only over live video chat. DON'T ever try to meet up with someone you don't know other than through thier words on a screen in a secluded place. Play it safe, they should definitely understand cause they should be doing the same.

 

[JanatUrlich]

Naaah. I say you can't be in love until you've had sex.

 

[Gruthar]

You guys should read up on the consequences of a lack of social interaction among people.

This is completely non sarcastic: The internet makes you geek. The lack of actual one on one in your face communication means you never learn to deal with assholes. You know who never learned to deal with assholes? The five geeks that always banded together and huddled around their new toy in high school. They usually hid behind an attempt at an air of intelligence. The only social interaction thy had coming from within their group.

The idea that a person like that needs only to clean up (physically wash) long enough for their acne to clear and start sporting a few culturally relevant (and funny) one liners is enough for them to earn some measure of popularity is true. They have returned to the fold and become a part of the group all is right again. The whole picking on the different thing is pretty much instinctual and a hold over from days when it was a biological imperative not to be to different.

Well back on topic. No a relationship online is not a real relationship, in the most basic sense because some 70% of a normal conversion is actually in tones and body language. Without those tones and body language everything the other person says goes through your emotional filter. If you are currently depressed what is supposed to be a witty comment can come across as insulting or rude. Which is why a bad typer gets crap when he forgets his caps lock was on and didn't realize until he posted.

Something you never see one of the geeks (mentioned above) doing properly is looking you in the eye as you talk to them, and not fiddling with their hands nervously when they try to interview with you for a job.

Your point sort of contradicts itself. On the one hand you acknowledge that geeks are frequently picked on, and on the other you claim that they are somehow insulated from assholes, only interacting with each other. Is it not the asshole who picks on the geek? I would also say the job interview scenario you describe is an insecure person, not a geek.

Your underlying premise is valid, though, and that is that physical social interaction is key to the psychological development of a person. I would not say that geeks (or any other arbitrarily-defined clique) are socially retarded, however.


On the subject at hand, I would say that an online relationship can work, but there does need to be a physical encounter at some point.

 

[LeonLethality]

I say other, I talk with my Gf (whome I know in RL) on the internet a lot, because well, cant always be together right?

 

[The_Commander_of_Offworld]

It is a rather black and white way of looking at things. If honest, and actually looking for a committed relationship, then yes, but if not, then no. It isn't something that can be presented as a definitive one or the other choice.

 

[BubbleGumSnareDrum]

There's no such thing as a "real" relationship. A relationship is a relationship, it can only be described as what the people involved have deluded themselves into believing it is, in contrast to what it is to everyone else.

The point is, when two people are together, chances are one of them has something they aren't sharing. If they aren't sharing it and it directly concerns the other it will lead to the end of the relationship. This happens in most relationships because most people are idiots who think there are alternatives to simply saying what you really mean and telling the truth, and none of those alternatives ever work out for anybody.

So in conclusion, I am a very bitter, hateful young man who is sickened at the thought of taking a relationship with anyone else seriously again. They are all equally hollow and pointless, regardless of how or where you met, the means of communication, how often you actually see each other in person, etc.

 

[fwddgs]

Kinda. They lead to real relationships. I met my boyfriend over the internet It's almost our 1 year choughiversary

 

[deadly.by.design]

E-lationships are a joke until there's a real life commitment made. (moving, commuting, other "real" relationship stuff)

 

[Lord_Ascendant]

Yes they are real Relationships. Just becuase its text or maybe a Webcam does not make that person not real. Love can be had over a telephone why not a computer?

 

[twistedshadows]

I actually know someone who lived in the States, met (and sort of dated) a guy online who lived in Australia, met the guy in person, fell in love, moved to Australia, got married and had kids. This was a decade ago and they're still happily married.

As such, I think a relationship can at least start out online. I don't think it counts if the two never meet in person to see if there's a true attraction, though - pheromones and individual idiosyncrasies play a huge role in attraction and those can't be determined over the internet.

 

[Jark212]

I guess it happens sometimes...maby...

 

[EeveeElectro]

If they live in different countries, or too far away like one in Scotland and one in London, then I wouldn't say so.
However, I do know it's possible to feel emotions for someone you haven't met. Love is a funny thing.

 

[manaman]

Your point sort of contradicts itself. On the one hand you acknowledge that geeks are frequently picked on, and on the other you claim that they are somehow insulated from assholes, only interacting with each other. Is it not the asshole who picks on the geek? I would also say the job interview scenario you describe is an insecure person, not a geek.

Your underlying premise is valid, though, and that is that physical social interaction is key to the psychological development of a person. I would not say that geeks (or any other arbitrarily-defined clique) are socially retarded, however.


On the subject at hand, I would say that an online relationship can work, but there does need to be a physical encounter at some point.

It does not really contradict itself. I do concede that I used stereotypes as a way to cut down on the bulk of the text. Everyone remembers the 5 or 6 people who did something or acted in a way that caused them to be ostracized. Being socially rejected then causes people to associate other traits about themselves as better, like the thought "People do not like me because I am smarter then them" is a pretty common one. This further buffers them from the "norm." Normal social interaction is not getting pants pulled down in the hallway or whatever people do now. It is all in how a person reacts to something like that. Trying to hide, or run away, or even curling up in a ball and crying is not dealing with it.

I was also shooting more for an awkward person in the job interview scenario. I have run into the type often enough, and I will not hire them. The techs have to interact with customers frequently one on one. A person like that will be easily intimidated by customers and that makes them come across as if they do not know what they are doing, even when they do.

 

[GoldenCondor]

Nah man, I don't they should be counted as real relationships. They could be lying about themselves or have a girlfriend/ boyfriend in real life, and anyway, if you have a relationship as in "i love you" not "hey buddy" over the internet, you need to get out more.

haha.

 

[SimuLord]

Speaking as someone who met his wife over the Internet, I can say that our relationship wasn't "real" until we'd met in person a couple of times, first with me traveling to her hometown in Canada then her coming to visit me in the States. When we realized things were getting serious, she came down for a sort of "trial living together" on a six-month tourist visa that led to a wedding and to her getting a green card. We're still married and just celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary this past March. She's going to become eligible for US citizenship next year, although she's on the fence about pledging allegiance to this country and losing the benefits of Canadian citizenship---she's brought up the subject more than once of us moving to Canada or possibly the UK/Australia/somewhere else in the Commonwealth because she's got commonwealth citizenship. I'm dead set against it---I'm in college for a degree that will get me a high-paying job (studying to become a CPA) and I'll be damned if I pay some Euro-socialist country's taxes on my income. I don't even want to live in a STATE with an income tax, that's how libertarian my economic views tend to be.

Anyway, short answer to the question: "Not until they make the transition to real life."

 

[Labyrinth]

Well said and I totally agree.

Ahh, but I don't just speak to you on this public forum. My words are to be shared by all, for I, like you, speak truth!

How's that for a save?

 

[Cabboge]

my opinion? no and go outside at meet real people. Its all like the old days when kids would log on to Runescape and ask people out. Whats the point? You really can't share anything with this imaginary person. Their just someone else, somewhere else with diffrent friends and diffrent interest. It doesn't work because the whole physical attraction is missing and I'm not talking about whether they look good or not, I just don't know a better term. I'm talking about the closness feeling you get with a loved one when you walk with them or have dinner with them or whatever. Thats the long answer

In short, internet relationships are not real.

But what if they meet up and try to make it work? Is it still fake then? What about online dating sites? That's dating over the internet.

If the meet up and make it work then kudos to them. They took something imaginary and made it something real. And online dating sites are about finding someone and then meeting them for a date. Its not like what most internet relationships are, which is random finds on AIM or myspace and stuff. If you want to online date someone, go ahead I aint going to stop you. I just don't think that those kind of relationships are real.

 

[Cliff_m85]

A soldier calls his girlfriend from the barracks on his small amount of break time he has. This is all the time he has to talk to her, this is all he has besides a photo he pasted on his bed.


Is he currently in a relationship or not? That answer goes with internet relationships as well.