First we have to examine the question asked: Given how women are portrayed in video games as love interests (I would debate that, but that's neither here nor there), is this derogatory? Well, yes and no. Is it derogatory to portray the ideal? People hold Marylin Munroe up as a sex symbol, is that wrong? No, we just acknowledge her excellence and honor her appropriately. People hold sports stars up as heroes, and use them as motivational tools to excel in certain areas.
On the other hand, does this portrayal of ideals cause women to feel insignificant, and if so is it directly due to the portrayal, or is that just a reaction because of insecurities? If a child is having problems excelling in sport, do his parents hand a picture of a sports star on his wall? No, they encourage him to find other pursuits to which he is more suited. So the real problem isn't "Are video games derogatory to women?", it's "How can we help women (if they need it, of course) deal with their insecurities and move on to other areas?
Just my view.