Poll: Do we nice guys still stand a chance?

[Crimbo23]

i had the exact same problem, except that my bestfriend was the jerk to the girls, so all the girls i liked went for him, dont get me wrong i love him dearly (in a hetrosexual kinda way) but he kept stealing the girls i liked. but now 2 years later all the girls that classed me as the nice guy and the friend are starting to come to me, one actually called me the perfect guy because of my friendly manner, so dont fret man, it'll happen

 

[Mr S]

Confidence. Nice and nasty are not a factor (except when a girl is specifically looking for it, then it's probably daddy issues which involves drama you don't need) so don't let movies and tv tell you how to try and get a woman. You'll be led astray. TALK to a woman, don't be nice, don't be a jerk, JUST TALK. Be honest about what you like, tell her what you think. If you have to lie then the relationship will break on that point later on.

Confidence. If you are afraid to be you in front of a girl she'll think you're just afraid of girls. Also, cause it bears repeating, Confidence.

See, this has always confused me, why is it that "niceness" and "shyness" are apparently interchangeable in these kinds of discussions. Where if someone is "nice" they will automatically shy away from any straight up discussion and therefor lack this "confidence" I keep hearing people say attracts women. I never really see it because being confident and having a strong opinion doesn't mean you have to abandon nice to show it or discuss it with members of the opposite sex. It just means you're less likely to be a douche and pull the "No, you're wrong and your opinion is retarded!" brand of argument.

I agree with this guy. I still have a pretty strong opionion and I'm not afraid to discuss things or whatever, I'm still nice.

 

[FinalHeart95]

Confidence, my friend.

The people who often say that "nice guys lose" are referring to nice people who simply lack confidence. In which case, that's kinda the truth. However, you can always fix confidence, so not all hope is lost! Gain some confidence (easier said than done, I know), and then you'll be fine.

It's worth noting that my girlfriend complains about other girls ignoring nice guys when I think that it's a load of bull. World is slowly turning upside down.

 

[Mr S]

Every time I see these threads I think that whilst I'm "technically" a nice guy I'm also a bit of a prick and not all that nice to people I don't like.

The problem is that most nice guys want bad girls. I know I want a ***** that looks good in black leather, and of course looks like Power Girl.

Being a lazy fat manchild however, I get to console myself with the myth that nice guys never get the girl rather than actually put any effort into getting one.

Maybe a little bit of this...

 

[UsefulPlayer 1]

Girls are attracted to hot, confident guys.

Being kind is kinda a few steps down.

 

[jpoon]

A lot of women I know really seem to stick to the guys who treat them like shit, don't ask me why.

 

[suitepee7]

i'm a nice guy, so to speak. i have not been a douche to any of my girlfriends, and have not been in a relationship that lasted less than a year at least, and my current one is going well.

if you be a douche to woman, you are a douche. if it somehow works, you are a douche with a woman, thats the only difference. be yourself, there will be a girl out there somewhere for you

 

[water_bearer]

Come on.
I think you "nice guys" need to take some responsibility here. Nice guys don't get passed up for jerks IF they are interesting and engaging. I bet nice guys who are interesting get lots of attention from girls. You have to consider the possibility that the nice guys who are complaining about getting passed up for jerks are just not interesting to the girls they are trying to date.

"Nice" is so subjective anyway. If you're a guy who thinks, "Yea, I'm a nice guys," chances are everyone else think you're a bore. "Nice" is one the most uninteresting and light adjectives to describe a person, it's what you say when you can't think of anything else to say. It's not enough to be just "nice," you have to be interesting and probably a lot of other stuff too. If "nice" is the prevailing word people associate you with, face it, you are probably not very interesting, and that's why girls pass you up.

 

[Ladette]

Every time I see these threads I think that whilst I'm "technically" a nice guy I'm also a bit of a prick and not all that nice to people I don't like.

The problem is that most nice guys want bad girls. I know I want a ***** that looks good in black leather, and of course looks like Power Girl.

Being a lazy fat manchild however, I get to console myself with the myth that nice guys never get the girl rather than actually put any effort into getting one.

And that is the hardest i've laughed today, epic lulz indeed. You get a cookie.

Spoiler

That rings a lot truer than some guys would like to believe.

 

[Nerf Ninja]

Nice as a word itself is kind of interesting.

It originally meant foolish or stupid. Then it changed meanings to timid or delicate, then precise or careful, then vaguely agreeable to just plain "nice" now

You sure you want to be all that?

 

[Nerf Ninja]

Every time I see these threads I think that whilst I'm "technically" a nice guy I'm also a bit of a prick and not all that nice to people I don't like.

The problem is that most nice guys want bad girls. I know I want a ***** that looks good in black leather, and of course looks like Power Girl.

Being a lazy fat manchild however, I get to console myself with the myth that nice guys never get the girl rather than actually put any effort into getting one.

And that is the hardest i've laughed today, epic lulz indeed. You get a cookie.

Spoiler

That rings a lot truer than some guys would like to believe.

Oooh! Nummy F'taghn munch!

 

[inFAMOUSCowZ]

Really it depends, I'm actually talking to this one girl, and I'm being an arrogant, sarcastic, ass hole ( which I am every day) and she loves it. It adds to my charm. Just be who you are, The thing I learned is that, the girls who really enjoy guys like me, are really only there to have a good time. They cant hold a conversation for shit, but the girls who can catch on, and see tat us assholes, are a bunch of pricks, those are the keepers. They are nice, can talk to you, and if shes cute, then go for it. Me I'll stay with the girls that whore themselves out, untill I get a bit older and want a real relationship.

 

[Mr S]

Every girl I could of actually said I cared about [both of them] ended up with "jerks".

well, okay, one ended up with a jerk for a while, and is now a single mother, and the other one is with an Emo that could be best described as a puppy, since he needs her attention every second of every day and becomes "depressed" when she even texts her other male friends.

Both gave the same bullshit "how nice of a guy I was", but yet when I asked them out they became someone else entirely.

I gave up on dating, partially because I keep seeing the same trend, be nice to a girl, she falls in love with a jerk, and partially because Im tired of the crap that girls put me through for nothing.

Nice guys, we should just give up and move on in life. Maybe we can finally make the world a better place if we work together.

Yeah this is exactly what happens to me all the time. But enough with the damn self-pity, I'm going to take some f***ing action and take control of the situation. I'm tired of this bullshit. All the chicks I fall in love with are EITHER with someone else, or they do the same thing to me they did to you. I'm completely sick of it. For now I'm gonna put my feelings aside I think, but next time I fall in love I'm gonna do it right. Sick of it!

Crap I actually punched the wall when I read your story because I recognized your situation so vividly, I'm gonna go hold it under cold running water for the next half hour <P

 

[TheXRatedDodo]

Just be. Don't be yourself, don't be confident, don't be cool. Just BE. Then, when someone falls for you, they'll be falling for you, rather than a mask.
Those that fall for you will probably be few and far between, but it's worth it.

 

[Dags90]

Yay for generalising half the population of the planet!

Women aren't people, they're women. Weird mysterious creatures shrouded in mystery, like the exotic Far East.

The usual, "some nice guys aren't nice and are actually just manipulative jerks" and "some people who may seem like jerks to you are nice to their partners", as well as a good dash of "maybe you're just boring, or too ugly to fuck".

Here's a funny picture.

 

[sta697]

you are a complete idiot every girl has diferent standarts.im afraid that by nice guy you mean a complete afraid guy with no passion.if you only meet idiotic girs then change the places you go out and possibly your friends.also not being ugly helps a lot!!!!

im depressed just by being in this forum grow a pair

 

[Cap'n Ninja]

Alhoewel ik ook zie dat Nederlandse dames vaak voor de bad boy gaan. Toch, er zijn veel die dat niet doen.

HE'S SPEAKING IN TONGUES! KILL IT!

OT: The best way to convey this -in my mind- is that girls like guys who do things that they like.

Personally, I have a very soft spot for nice guys, but what I can't stand is the type of nice guy who won't make a move because he's too afraid, and the self-proclaimed nice guy who complains about how girls all like douches and they don't see how nice he is.

 

[La Barata]

Let me give you a bit of an analogy. Remember the story about The Grasshopper and the Ant? How while the ant spent all his time working hard, making sure he was well provided for, being responsible while the grasshopper dicked around and did whatever he felt like? Then, winter came, and the grasshopper's completely fucked. So he comes crawling to the ant, who, depending on the version of the story, either took him in or said "go die in a hole". The grasshopper is a woman, and the ant is a nice guy. The women run about doing whatever and whoever the fuck they feel like while the nice guy does his best to be productive and prepare for the future. Then, all of a sudden, winter will come. The woman will realize she's gotten older, or her douchebag boyfriend will break up with her, or something like that. Then where does she turn? She comes crawling back to the nice guy, who, being a nice guy, will be there for her, be comforting, let her ***** and moan about her ex, or how much everything sucks for little old her. He'll take it and he won't complain, because he's a nice guy. At this point, one of two things will happen. Either she'll finally realize it's a bad fucking idea to date douchebags and assholes and might get together with him (this usually only happens after age 30) or she'll friend zone him so hard his balls fall off, then run off again next spring (new douchebag or old one takes her back), only to do it all over again the next year.

 

[Kenbo Slice]

Girls don't understand the difference between being confident and being a douche.

 

[freaper]

Let me give you a bit of an analogy. Remember the story about The Grasshopper and the Ant? How while the ant spent all his time working hard, making sure he was well provided for, being responsible while the grasshopper dicked around and did whatever he felt like? Then, winter came, and the grasshopper's completely fucked. So he comes crawling to the ant, who, depending on the version of the story, either took him in or said "go die in a hole". The grasshopper is a woman, and the ant is a nice guy. The women run about doing whatever and whoever the fuck they feel like while the nice guy does his best to be productive and prepare for the future. Then, all of a sudden, winter will come. The woman will realize she's gotten older, or her douchebag boyfriend will break up with her, or something like that. Then where does she turn? She comes crawling back to the nice guy, who, being a nice guy, will be there for her, be comforting, let her ***** and moan about her ex, or how much everything sucks for little old her. He'll take it and he won't complain, because he's a nice guy. At this point, one of two things will happen. Either she'll finally realize it's a bad fucking idea to date douchebags and assholes and might get together with him (this usually only happens after age 30) or she'll friend zone him so hard his balls fall off, then run off again next spring (new douchebag or old one takes her back), only to do it all over again the next year.

Way to clump all women together...

My 2 cents, if a woman says you'd make for the perfect boyfriend/husband, don't even bother.

EDIT: I see the irony in my own post, don't bother quoting me.