Poll: Do we nice guys still stand a chance?

[370999]

its not the guys fault, its the women. they only care about looks

Oh, come on now. Sometimes it's about the money too.

It has been my experience that the 'nice guy' is synonymous with coward. I am not psychic, if you don't act interested in me in a way that I can perceive, I'm not going to know you like me like that. You have to tell us when you're interested, and just spending time and hanging out as 'friends' is going to force me to lunch rush you into the friend zone...where I put all my other helicopter friends. You know what, be a little daring; get to know me while we're dating rather than hover around and look disappointed every time I spend time with my new boyfriend, because guess what? He told me he was interested in me.

dont make sense

go too fast. im a creep

go too slow. im just a friend

Why don't you approach your relationships (romantic and otherwise) with women naturally, instead of entering them with a battle plan? Generally speaking, a girl's going to find it a *little* creepy if you decide to pursue a romantic/sexual relationship with her before you actually know her.

dont matter either way. im ugly as sin and if shes seen with me in public then shell be labeled a gold digger

And you're ugly why? Honestly, barring massive facial injury, no one is unavoidably ugly. Hit the gym, buy some acne cream, update your wardrobe, or do whatever else you need to do to be (and more importantly, feel) attractive. I predict that if you do this you might be surprised with the results.

Yeah and look at folks like Kissinger. I do think some people need to revise expectations though, that super hot girl is probaly going to go out with a hot guy. Sure give it a go of course but don't be too disapointed if she says no.

 

[RaikuFA]

ummm, i look like i got hit by a baseball bat and never recovered from surgery

 

[Sudenak]

As a girl that basically preys upon the nice guys, I will say this: jerks can attract the weak ones, but nice guys attract strong women. :3

I tend to prefer assholes as friends, but prefer nice guys as boyfriends. I like shy guys much more (especially when they wear the mask! -badum tish- >_>), but nice guys are simply well rounded. Jerks are awful, and they only attract vapid, weak women that have half a brain cell.

 

[RaikuFA]

EDIT: DOUBLE POST

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

Its a very small chance. From what I've seen, girls love to jump for relationship to relationship with some douche bag. Why? They get pity and its an easy crash relationship.
So, among dumbshit girls, not a chance, but among girls with actual brains, yes.

 

[Ashhearth]

I'm considered a really nice guy and the main reason my last gf broke up with me was because I was too nice, which still makes no sense to me. I'm also ripped on by a lot of my friends for being as nice as I am (note all of those doing the ripping are guys). I've pretty much given up on high school dating because of how superficial people are these days and it doesn't bother me too much.

High school is just high school. It's all about making mistakes and learning from those mistakes. Think of it as practice for college and later life.

I already figured that out. Still I find it funny to watch all these people run in and out of relationships like rabbits and are seriously depressed half of the time while I've stopped dating and just am waiting for something more mature than high school and am also quite happier. A relationship should make you happy, not feel like a massive burden and if it does it's not really worth it.

 

[VivaciousDeimos]

The myth of the 'nice guy' is just that; a myth.

If you see two people together and you wonder why a girl is with a guy you disrespect...that ain't nice. She probably likes him for something he doesn't show you.

If you stay 'just friends' with someone in case you can ever get with her...you ain't nice, you're being a prick.

If you only act nicely to women on the off chance they'll take pity on you and date you then not ONLY are you a bit of a dick, but you're too small and timid for anyone to find attractive.

In my experience the vast majority of women like nice guys once they get out of that high school rebellious phase. However, there is an important distinction to make between "nice guy" and "guy who is nice in a misguided attempt to get laid." Women do not like the latter and they'll see right through you if you try to be their best friend as a means of getting into their pants.

Quoted for truth. In fact, I'd almost say that when I hear someone describe themselves as a "nice guy", I find myself already taking a mental step back from them.

It amazes me how many guys seem to feel entitled to a girl's affections for simply being "nice". I'm sorry, but you don't get brownie points for being a decent human being. That's a baseline expectation. Or maybe I just have crazy high standards, who knows.

As others have said, the world is not divisible into "nice guys" and "jerks" and "women who like 'nice guys'", and "women who like 'jerks'". Everyone is different.

 

[MaxwellEdison]

God damn it.

Girls like confident men.
They are given a choice between someone who is nice, but shows NO interest in them, or a dick who's going for it. What do you think they'll do? You know what women keep saying? "Why don't any nice guys go for me?" Go for it, and ye shall receive.

As a man on Cracked once said, "If you act like a plant all your life don't be surprised when you're stuck fucking pine cones."

EDIT: How do you put that as one of your options AND STILL NOT GET IT.
Seriously, I understand being down after losing multiple times. But the people who are down on this site seem immune to advice.

 

[ckam]

Oh, well... I wouldn't really know why you would want to date girls that like jerks, but from what I can see it's more like they have to be in the middle. Nice, but not too nice and not an asshole either.

Sarcastic optimist is usually a good type of demeanor for attraction. Then again I am just a guy not looking into that stuff, but I'll just claim that I'm observant... Just go with the trends; that's another good piece of advice.

 

[Ashhearth]

I'm considered a really nice guy and the main reason my last gf broke up with me was because I was too nice, which still makes no sense to me. I'm also ripped on by a lot of my friends for being as nice as I am (note all of those doing the ripping are guys). I've pretty much given up on high school dating because of how superficial people are these days and it doesn't bother me too much.

High school is just high school. It's all about making mistakes and learning from those mistakes. Think of it as practice for college and later life.

I already figured that out. Still I find it funny to watch all these people run in and out of relationships like rabbits and are seriously depressed half of the time while I've stopped dating and just am waiting for something more mature than high school and am also quite happier. A relationship should make you happy, not feel like a massive burden and if it does it's not really worth it.

Haha awesome - sounds like you're ahead of the curve

Bonus: my experience has been that when you go through life with that attitude, relationships have a way of finding you.

Yeah I'm beginning to notice that too. One of the first friends I made in drama has dropped a couple of hints here and there. I would probably act on them more except it's kinda hard when she's in waaaay out of state for college >.>

But hey if I can wait for several years whats a few more weeks right?

 

[artanis_neravar]

Two points to make here:
1. There is such a thing as too nice. You can not, and I can't stress this enough, CAN NOT always agree to everything they say, if there's no challenge then things start to fall apart.
2. When it comes to looks, some of it is about confidence. If you have low self esteem and think your Ugly, whatever just don't let other people know until you are at a stable point in your relationship, and even then don't push it just mention it as something your are insecure about and leave it at that.

 

[RaikuFA]

ummm, i look like i got hit by a baseball bat and never recovered from surgery

That one guy/gal up there ^ had it right. Henry Kissinger was one of the fugliest human beings to walk the earth, but made up for it with intelligence, confidence, and social skills. (And he has a famous quote about power, too...) Or shit, look at Dennis Kucinich and his wife. Living proof that attractiveness is, for many people, more than what your face looks like.

but im ugly on the inside as well. im mysongynistic. i have chronic depression. truthfully. i believe im asexual as well

 

[JediMB]

Self-professed nice guy generally translates into someone who lets themselves get walked all over, and/or someone who ultimately appears boring because they're too afraid to say something even the slightest bit rude/edgy/jokey in front of a girl because they're afraid of insulting them.

That sounds like me, alright. *nods*

...

*coughs* >_>

 

[Ham_authority95]

This question is for all the ladies (especially the Dutch ones):
Are girls still interested in nice guys or is there really no more hope for us?

It has recently (past 17 years) come to my attention that a lot of men act like jerks in front of women, and the women seem to be enjoying it. Which leads me to think that women nowadays are attracted to complete douches.

(Un)fortunately, I don't belong to that specific group, and I consider myself to be a nice and confident guy.
In fact, my last date said it wasn't gonna work out because I was too nice.
Now I've tried to be a jerk, but I don't like myself anymore when I do that.
And neither do other people, so it would seem I am doing something terribly wrong.

Is there still any chance for us? We are just regular guys, except for that we aren't complete douches.

Also I've noticed that especially city girls are attracted to jerks, please comment on that too

Ok, I've read the replies and I'd like to delve deeper in the "some do like nice guys, some like jerks" thing. Now I believe that. Problem is I can't seem to find the ones that like nice guys. I just run into jerk-loving girls OR girls that already are in relations with other nice guys.

Yes there is. You just need to get your foot in the door.

I can tell you this because I'm a nice guy.