Poll: Do we nice guys still stand a chance?
- Thread starter Mr S
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I Should start a poll that ask's the inverse "Nice girls still stand a chance?". Seriously just because you are not like the rest of the unwashed masses dosent mean you are hopeless, and just because you are not a jerk dosent mean you wont find someone special. Far from it, infact polar frekin opposite. No doubt it will take longer yes but the quality of the relationship will be infinitely better than the junk you see in the main media these days. Good guys find good girls and good girls... well IMO need to be protected from bad guys. The good ones tend to be innocent and fall for the jerks false promises so its not that they WANT a jerk its just they are persuaded that he is not one.
Im rambling. In short, Will the jerks win in the long run?
Im rambling. In short, Will the jerks win in the long run?
Thanks!stoprequesting said:Haha best of luck then!Ashhearth said:Yeah I'm beginning to notice that too. One of the first friends I made in drama has dropped a couple of hints here and there. I would probably act on them more except it's kinda hard when she's in waaaay out of state for college >.>stoprequesting said:Haha awesome - sounds like you're ahead of the curveAshhearth said:
Bonus: my experience has been that when you go through life with that attitude, relationships have a way of finding you.
But hey if I can wait for several years whats a few more weeks right?
I might be a little too young to throw in my $0.02, but I'll go ahead and do it.
I've been "nice" pretty much most of my life. I've have what some people might call, a kind heart, I help my friends out vigorously, even if it means sacrificing my own time or money, all that kind of things. I've also been called sweet, by a bunch of other girls as well. But I've been completely puzzled by this as well. I see people who treat women/girls with disrespect actually have girlfriends of their own.
I'll tell you a story. I used to like this girl in middle school (last year, actually). I made it pretty obvious that I liked her, I even told her quite a few times (by text messages). In the beginning of when I liked her, she told me that she might hurt me emotionally. I didn't really care. I was trying to be especially nice for her. She told me that she liked somebody else. I didn't mind, rather, I tried to help her with him. Even though I didn't even know the guy, I wanted to just be good friends with her. This had worked the last time I did this for a girl, and I thought this would work with her. She mentioned that her parents wouldn't let her go out with anybody, which I could understand. So I end up being a great motivational speaker, telling her what I think she should do, and being there for her when she needed help, trying to be a great friend. In about a month or maybe two to three weeks, she tells me saying that we can't be friends anymore. Why? Because apparently we're total opposites. She tells me that she was a cynical b-tch, and that she didn't really want to be friends with me through high school (we were separating at this point). I tried to make amends with her, as best as I could, and it was to no avail. She even went so far as to not talk to me, and she severed all ties with me. I was furious at the time, but now I'm a better person for it. And last August, I sent a message to her Facebook after she deleted me from her friends list (not something that's a major offense, but it's pretty bad)about the entire situation and what was going through my mind. She ends up blocking me from Facebook and having her dad threaten me. In the middle of all of this, she said something about one of the people in our middle school, and about him being an asshole, but he had a sweet side apparently... from what I heard, she's going out with him.
That's my story. I'm a much better person for what she did though, and much more cautious to people like that again.
I've been "nice" pretty much most of my life. I've have what some people might call, a kind heart, I help my friends out vigorously, even if it means sacrificing my own time or money, all that kind of things. I've also been called sweet, by a bunch of other girls as well. But I've been completely puzzled by this as well. I see people who treat women/girls with disrespect actually have girlfriends of their own.
I'll tell you a story. I used to like this girl in middle school (last year, actually). I made it pretty obvious that I liked her, I even told her quite a few times (by text messages). In the beginning of when I liked her, she told me that she might hurt me emotionally. I didn't really care. I was trying to be especially nice for her. She told me that she liked somebody else. I didn't mind, rather, I tried to help her with him. Even though I didn't even know the guy, I wanted to just be good friends with her. This had worked the last time I did this for a girl, and I thought this would work with her. She mentioned that her parents wouldn't let her go out with anybody, which I could understand. So I end up being a great motivational speaker, telling her what I think she should do, and being there for her when she needed help, trying to be a great friend. In about a month or maybe two to three weeks, she tells me saying that we can't be friends anymore. Why? Because apparently we're total opposites. She tells me that she was a cynical b-tch, and that she didn't really want to be friends with me through high school (we were separating at this point). I tried to make amends with her, as best as I could, and it was to no avail. She even went so far as to not talk to me, and she severed all ties with me. I was furious at the time, but now I'm a better person for it. And last August, I sent a message to her Facebook after she deleted me from her friends list (not something that's a major offense, but it's pretty bad)about the entire situation and what was going through my mind. She ends up blocking me from Facebook and having her dad threaten me. In the middle of all of this, she said something about one of the people in our middle school, and about him being an asshole, but he had a sweet side apparently... from what I heard, she's going out with him.
That's my story. I'm a much better person for what she did though, and much more cautious to people like that again.
"Yes, don't change a bit" is silly and idealistic.
Sure, it sounds nice and would make you feel better, but realistically no girl wants a wimp for a guy.
There's no need to be a jerk or mean, but confidence is definitely key. You can be nice, but also not be spine-less. Don't let a girl whip you, but don't go out of your way to NOT be nice.
Then again, there are dom types. But I'm sure even they would get bored if the didn't have a will to break.
Sure, it sounds nice and would make you feel better, but realistically no girl wants a wimp for a guy.
There's no need to be a jerk or mean, but confidence is definitely key. You can be nice, but also not be spine-less. Don't let a girl whip you, but don't go out of your way to NOT be nice.
Then again, there are dom types. But I'm sure even they would get bored if the didn't have a will to break.
People aren't rational all the time especially when it comes to relationships. The fact that you made it clear to this girl that you liked her (Hopefully by asking her out rather then being passive) means that you should of cut your losses as it seems she was quite clear on indicating that she wasn't interested in you.Razgrizaces said:
Still live and learn, we all need a knocking from time to time. It sucks but as you said you do learn that relationships are a gamble, sometimes it's not your fault when it goes wrong and you jsut have to deal with that.
(Of course sometimes it is your fault so that's life)
ive had WAY too many things happen to me from girls thats made me hate their actionsstoprequesting said:
besides. isnt it a double standard? girl is androphobic shes awarded for being courageous in a "male dominant society" a guy has gynophobia and hes considered a freak
Stop putting things into a false dichotomy. There's a lot more to people than "nice or jerk" so likewise, people are looking for a lot more things than "is he nice/jerkish/confident". If you can't find anyone to date you, you're likely looking at the wrong people or you're a terrible person.
Knew a guy that thought all women are snobbish. Found out later he was only hitting on super attractive women in bars, which yeah, going to run into mostly snobbish women that way. Try going to new places and looking at different types of women if you can't find anyone into you.
Knew a guy that thought all women are snobbish. Found out later he was only hitting on super attractive women in bars, which yeah, going to run into mostly snobbish women that way. Try going to new places and looking at different types of women if you can't find anyone into you.
The solution to people being a dick to you is not to throw yourself a pity party and hate everyone with their set of chromosomes. The solution is to learn from it and move on with your life. That does not kill you makes you stronger, and all.[/quote]stoprequesting said:
I like nice guys.
But I don't like guys that would jump off a bridge and give all thier money to me. I don't want someone who trys to be too nice, to the point where they are practically a slave. I want a boyfriend, not a servant.
Some girls are shallow or mistake someone who's a jerk with an assertive guy.
As others are saying, confidence helps.
But I don't like guys that would jump off a bridge and give all thier money to me. I don't want someone who trys to be too nice, to the point where they are practically a slave. I want a boyfriend, not a servant.
Some girls are shallow or mistake someone who's a jerk with an assertive guy.
As others are saying, confidence helps.
Can you clear up a few things for me? What exactly is middle school? and how did her dad threaten you?Razgrizaces said:
Speaking from a personal experience with one of my friends I don't think that nice guys would want to be involved with women that are hellbent on destroying themselves.
*Sigh* I'm sure that if you used the search bar you could have found this topic already.
It doesn't seem like it's that difficult to tell. Just think about what characteristics you find attractive in men.
Alternatively, just live the way you want to. There are several billion people in the world, I'm sure you'll find someone, just travel and socialise more.
It doesn't seem like it's that difficult to tell. Just think about what characteristics you find attractive in men.
Alternatively, just live the way you want to. There are several billion people in the world, I'm sure you'll find someone, just travel and socialise more.