Poll: Do you believe that humans are half?

[JokerCrowe]

Strange way to put it, I know. What I mean is: "Do you believe humans are meant to be in romantic relationships, and that being in a relationship is the only way to achieve true happiness"? But that was a little long to put as a title...

The reason I'm asking is because I recently had a discussion with my friends about relationships; I (being a self absorbed bastard) was talking (/complaining)about the fact that I have never had a girlfriend and that, "maybe I should just give up my search, I mean there are other ways to become happy, right?".

My friends (who are in relationships btw) didn't agree. "There is nothing that can compare to the happiness of being in a relationship. Sure, you could try to be happy on your own, become a monk in Tibet and just eat rice for the rest of your life, but everything is better when you're in a relationship with someone"... Ouch.

I'd like to think that the meaning of life is to try to be as happy as possible for the little time we have, and if I were to go by my friends' statement, the only way to achieve this is to be in a relationship. Like some big fucking checklist:

"Job?"
"Check!"
"Home?"
"Check!"
"Friends?"
"Check!"
"Money?"
"Check!"
"Relationship?"
"No..."
"Well then I'm afraid you still haven't met the requirements to have a rich, fulfilling and happy life..."

So anyway, never having been in a relationship, I thought I would ask some internet strangers about the matter.

Do you believe that the only way to achieve true happiness is to be in a relationship with someone? Do you believe that humans are born half and that it's impossible to become happy without that better half?

EDIT: Dammit Escapist! Stop eating the damn polls! The second option is supposed to say "No, I believe that it is entirely possible to live a truly happy, fulfilling life without that better half."

 

[Zhukov]

Uh... wrong forum? Not quite sure what this has to do with Gaming Discussion.

Anyway.

No, I don't quite believe that.

However, I do believe that humans are essentially herd animals and are happier when they are both socially and sexually active. There are probably a few people out there who are genuinely happy on their own, but the vast majority of people who claim to be entirely happy on their own are kidding themselves.

While single people obviously aren't all miserable because they're single, I'd bet that the average person in a healthy relationship is happier than the average person not in one.

 

[Esotera]

Being in a relationship has roughly the same sort of effects on your brain for the first 18 months that bipolar disorder does, so your friends are slightly biased...

There's a lot of pressure to be in a relationship but I'd say it's really not essential, especially if you're a very busy person or just can't be bothered with the effort. No point entering one unless you have the energy to make it work.

 

[Tanis]

Nope.

Last relationship I was in ended on apretty good note.
-We ended up less gf/bf and more like brother/sister, which made dating REALLY weird and thus ended it.

However, at least for me, I don't feel a NEED to be in a relationship.

They're nice, but I'm fairly happy/sad/exited/bored/etc without another person there.

It's all about being happy with who YOU are first.

 

[Adam Jensen_v1legacy]

I don't believe that it applies to everyone. I do believe that it applies to some people, though. It applies to me. I'm happiest when I have someone I can share my insanity with and be accepted for who I am. But that has more to do with the fact that I don't have many friends and I have trust issues. I don't trust anyone. Having a meaningful relationship, being romantic or platonic is important to me. And if I can get sex and snuggling out of that deal, even better.

We are social creatures, though. Even the most introverted and nonconformist of humans can't deny the impact of society on their lives.

 

[Danceofmasks]

What ... that kind of craptastic checklist is the reason why people are unhappy.

Biologically, males were supposed to be expendable.
Do the dangerous stuff out there with a higher mortality rate, while being able to breed with multiple females in order to preserve the genepool.

A lot of these social imperatives to hook up comes from male insecurity - the need to know that a child is actually theirs.

Not saying there's anything wrong with the ball and chain, just that sometimes people can't resolve the differences between society's pressures and their genes'

 

[Guffe]

I don't think so...
I'm not in a relationship and I'm perfectly happy, sure it'll be nice when I get into a relationship again sometime but I'm not needing it at the moment.

 

[veloper]

A good relationship is nice to have too, while it lasts, but a fulfilling JOB is everything in life.

Money, recognition, collegues, luxury, purpose, even your image, it all flows from your job. What you spend your credit on is secondary.

 

[Doom972]

I think that it differs from person to person. I used to think I didn't need it, but now I can't imagine myself without it. I think some people are better off without long term relationships.

 

[Darken12]

I find the very notion of humans being innately incomplete and needing another human to complete themselves to be revolting in ways I cannot find adequate words to describe. It produces such an amount of disgust in me I worry my face might freeze into a perpetual sneer.

Happiness is a 100% personal matter. Other human beings are convenient, not necessary, to reach it.

I also find the notion of sex (or even worse, "love") being necessary to be simultaneously disgusting and infuriating.

 

[Darken12]

I think your anger would be better spent elsewhere.

Thank you for the completely unnecessary, unasked-for advice.

 

[Darken12]

It wasn't advice, it was a comment on your ridiculous amounts of indignation. Got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?

No, I genuinely despise the notion of love, and it greatly infuriates me when people imply others are somehow incomplete without it, or that it is necessary (or even that it ought to be a priority). I absolutely detest the "shhhh, don't think, just mindlessly enjoy yourself and pretend nothing's wrong!" attitude that permeates anything related to love, sex and "fun" (which is why I loathe practically all holidays).

Few things piss me off like society universally agreeing on something and shoving it down your throat whether you like it or not.

 

[Kopikatsu]

It wasn't advice, it was a comment on your ridiculous amounts of indignation. Got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?

No, I genuinely despise the notion of love, and it greatly infuriates me when people imply others are somehow incomplete without it, or that it is necessary (or even that it ought to be a priority). I absolutely detest the "shhhh, don't think, just mindlessly enjoy yourself and pretend nothing's wrong!" attitude that permeates anything related to love, sex and "fun" (which is why I loathe practically all holidays).

Few things piss me off like society universally agreeing on something and shoving it down your throat whether you like it or not.

Well, at least I finally agree with you on something. Partially, in any case.

The vital life skill of long term planning should be drilled into people from birth.

 

[hazabaza1]

Different folks different strokes.
Sometimes literally fner fner But I do agree with the whole "pack animal" thing Zhukov and Jensen are talking about. Most people just seem happier like that, y'know?

 

[Darken12]

Well, at least I finally agree with you on something. Partially, in any case.

The vital life skill of long term planning should be drilled into people from birth.

I don't disagree.

I know, I'm surprised too.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume you had some horrible relationship experiences.

Try "horrible experiences", period.

But I have to admit, that cat got me to chuckle. We are kindred souls, it and I. Kopikatsu's avatar makes the entire conversation even more magnificent.

 

[Vault101]

No, I genuinely despise the notion of love, and it greatly infuriates me when people imply others are somehow incomplete without it, or that it is necessary (or even that it ought to be a priority). I absolutely detest the "shhhh, don't think, just mindlessly enjoy yourself and pretend nothing's wrong!" attitude that permeates anything related to love, sex and "fun" (which is why I loathe practically all holidays).

Few things piss me off like society universally agreeing on something and shoving it down your throat whether you like it or not.

jesus....

sex kind of is important because weather you like it or not its hardwired into us on a very deep level....plus it feels really good (well so I hear)

 

[Doclector]

Well, here's the thing. On it's own, no, you don't need a relationship to be happy, but society is constantly telling us we're losers or loners, and if we're obviously happy alone, they tell us we're damaged, lying to ourselves, attempting to fill the gaping hole in our hearts with meaningless things, ETC ETC. Honestly, I don't want to be alone forever personally, I want to at some point experience what it's like to have someone you completely understand who completely understands you, and yes, at some point I do want to know what sex actually feels like, even if it is actually disappointing.

But am I broken because I'm alone? No. Not really. Society just tells us we are. And when it comes to such emotions, if something is said enough, it eventually becomes true in our perception. I'm broken for many, many other reasons, but not because I'm alone.

 

[Legion]

I think it depends (like most things).

Do people needp to be in a relationship to be happy?

No, not really.

Are people who have never been in a relationship more likely to be unhappy than those who have?

Yes, probably.

I wouldn't say a relationship is needed to be happy all of the time, but I think somebody who has had a decent relationship is more likely to be happier, even when single, than those who never have.

Speaking as somebody who is very much a loner by nature, as enjoyable as spending time with friends can be, I can't say that I really feel the need to spend time with them. But I do sometimes feel lonely not being in a romantic relationship. Not always, but sometimes.

There are some people who are the other way around. They need to spend most time with somebody else, and only occasionally feel happy when on their own.

The idea that people can't be truly happy without a relationship is a foolish one.

 

[spartan231490]

Well, I think there are better places you could have gone to get this answered but, then again, there are worse places too. I think that the two things are not dependent on each other. Yes, people most definitely evolved to be in romantic relationships. However, that does not mean you can't be happy without one, though some people certainly can't. To be fair, it takes a very rare person to be happy alone, but having a romantic relationship isn't the only way not to be alone. In the end, do what makes you happy, and don't let anyone else tell you what that is.

However, if this subject(being alone and whether or not that will allow you to be happy) is causing you any amount of doubt or distress, I strongly recommend reading "Love and Will" by Rollo May. It's a philosopher/psychologist discussing how our society has really fucked up the way we deal with love, and how this causes a whole host of problems in people. It is a very interesting read, and it gives a lot of insight into the subject.

 

[RJ 17]

Snip.

Tell me, the last time you checked, were you your friends? No? Then why should you be trying to follow their map to happiness?

Each individual is completely different. Some people are loners and can live perfectly fine and content lives by themselves, others seek attachments and relationships with others. Both arrive at the same destination - happiness - by taking their own routes.

Personally I think it's a load of hogwash . Considering divorce rates are astronomical, I think it's becoming rather clear that human beings aren't meant to mate for life. There's only a handful of species on the entire planet that mates for life and I don't believe that we're meant to be one of them. It's all fine and good to be in a relationship, I can tell you it does fill you with the warm'n'fuzzies every time you see your boyfriend/girlfriend. But time changes everything, and given enough time you begin to resent the person you're with.

But enough about relationships, back to the topic of happiness.

No one can tell you what's supposed to make you happy, you get to determine that for yourself. For instance, happiness for me is a week to myself just being rather lazy, to be perfectly honest, and hanging around my apartment. I took a stay-at-home vacation back in december, had a full week and a half off in which I didn't do anything. Just sat around playing games, watching TV, and I went out with some friends a couple nights. And let me tell you, it was everything I could have dreamed it was. That was happiness for me: a week and a half free from all responsibility, just doing what I like to do. Don't have a girlfriend so I didn't need to be in a relationship to have all that fun.

My point is that every person is different, we're all just sweet little snowflakes drifting about, each one unique from the rest. What makes you happy won't necessarily make others happy. And what makes others happy won't necessarily work for you.

>:3 for a more cynical/joking look at things, I believe anyone trying to tell you to get into a relationship is really just laying a trap. They say "Misery Loves Company", and so it stands to reason that if they're truly miserable in their relationship, they'd want to drag you down to join them in that misery by encouraging you to get into a relationship yourself. Same thing with marriage and children.