Poll: Do you believe the Friend Zone exists?

[Saucycarpdog]

A little conundrum that got into my head after hearing an argument last night while playing. Its curious cause some say its a real thing while others think its a stupid nonexistent concept.

What's your take on it?

 

[Erttheking]

I believe that's possible to have romantic interest in a friend who does not return the feeling. That's all.

 

[tippy2k2]

I guess it depends on your definition of "Friend Zone"

As err stated, is it possible that someone wants to take a friendship to the next level while the other person says no means no? Yes.

Does the Friend Zone exist in the way that the internet seems to define it as (which seems to be that he/she owes you because you were so nice to him/her and now that they say no means no, they're a horrible friend zoning prick)? Dear God no.

I find that people who ***** about the Friend Zone are people who go into a friendship meaning to spark it into romance and when shockingly that fails, they resent the person because of it. That's not getting Friend Zoned; at best that's them not liking you in that way and at worst, you're the asshole for going into the situation with the goal of touching someone else's fun bits while putting on the face that you just want to be friends...

 

[DementedSheep]

As in you want more friendship and they don't, yes. As in "gosh darn, this is what I get for being nice! they see me as friend not a lover", no.

 

[Skatologist]

I believe that's possible to have romantic interest in a friend who does not return the feeling. That's all.

Romantic and/or sexual. Personally, if I had such feelings for a friend, I'd try to make it known to them clearly and if they do not want to reciprocate such feelings, I can respect that.

Family members said that either party in this situation can ultimately end the friendship, which I somewhat agree with, but I don't think it ought to be done. I'd think such emotions could be dealt with and any awkward feelings would pass over time.

Even if the friend zone exists as this barrier between people with differing interests for their relationship, it doesn't mean it is inherently negative thing I don't think. I guess I would say, yes, it exists, but complaining about it or attempts to "getting out of it" are rather poor and often times disrespectful of the autonomy of the subject of desire.

 

[StriderShinryu]

Yes, I do believe it exists. I don't, however, believe that it's anywhere near as targeted, one sided or common as some would have you believe. There are absolutely situations where one person in a friendship harbours unrequited romantic feelings for the other person, and there are absolutely situations where that recipient may keep the other person in an awkward state of suspended animation in an attempt to "just be friends." These situations, though, are often created by one person honestly enjoying the friendship and not wanting things to change (but not seeing that they already have changed) and in many cases the other person not properly expressing their feelings (and not bowing out when it's very clear their feelings aren't being returned).

 

[Gordon_4_v1legacy]

I believe that's possible to have romantic interest in a friend who does not return the feeling. That's all.

Yeah I was pretty much gonna go with this.

 

[Albetta]

Yep. I put girls in them all the time.

 

[L. Declis]

Yep. I put girls in them all the time.

Yep, this.

And in my much younger days, I was in it too.

I have a theory about it; it's TV and Hollywood's fault.

Men are now taught that if you want to be the perfect boyfriend, all you need to do is be her friend. Doesn't matter if she rejects you, doesn't matter if she has a boyfriend, doesn't matter if she says no. Look at any and every Rom-Com or Romantic movie. He hangs around, he keeps helping her, he keeps being nice. It starts from Disney and works all the way through to the Hunger Games or Twilight.

It's also on T.V; Ted was friends with Robin, Barney was friends with Robin, Ross was friends with Rachel, J.D. was friends with Elliot, Leonard was friends with Penny, etc. The running theme was all they had to do was be nice, be supportive, let her walk over them and eventually she'll realise how nice you are and come running.

So nowadays, boys look at this and think "Oh, is this how you get girls? Because I sure as hell don't understand them."

They don't understand when they're rejected, that's probably it. They think "No, I really like her, all I have to do is not give up!" like TV and movies has taught them time and time again.

The anger comes when they realise that people really don't work this way, and they feel like they've been tricked, when they've only really been lied to by the media; the poor girl did nothing wrong, and the guy simply wasn't taught better.

That's my theory, anyway.

 

[BathorysGraveland2]

Of course it exists. It's the reaction people have to it is what's the bullshit part. Yeah, it sucks if you fall in love with someone and they can't return it, but to expect them to have a relationship with you because of it, and then getting pissy when they don't want to, is not only retarded as fuck, but utterly selfish as well.

The scenario is a real thing, but attitudes toward it need changing.

 

[1Life0Continues]

There is no such thing as a friend-zone.

If you are friends with a woman just to get in her pants, you're not a friend, your fucking scum.

If you are genuinely friends with her, develop feelings, and have those feelings rejected, then act like a spoiled child and resent her, you're not her friend and you're fucking scum.

Seriously. The bitching and whining by entitled men that think you can input 'kindness coins' into women and sex will fall out is disturbing.

You either respect her as a human being with thoughts, feelings, tastes and desires, including the fact she isn't interested in you as anything more and never will be, or you're a fucking tosser who doesn't deserve her friendship in the first fucking place.

End. Of.

Sheesh.

 

[404notfound]

The scenario is a real thing, but attitudes toward it need changing.

Pretty much this; I was recently friend-zoned and instead of getting annoyed or pissy at the person, we're still friends and we still play games and talk to each other as much as we did before it happened. The problem is when people start a friendship but don't actually care about being friends and just want to be in a romantic/sexual relationship, so when this fails they just blow up as it were.

 

[VanQ]

In popular culture, friend zone refers to a platonic relationship wherein one person, most commonly a man, wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not.

Going by this definition, yes it exists. It's not uncommon for a person to have romantic feelings for somebody else that are not returned by the object of their desire. "The Friend Zone" is just a more modern term for the long existing thing known as "Unrequited Love".
People tend to lean towards using "Friend Zone" to describe their situation because it's generally considered creepy or too pushy to use the word "Love" until you've already been with together with somebody for some time.
People will insist it doesn't exist based on the faulty logic that some heartbroken sod on the internet used the term as a way to blame the other for not returning their feelings. But the fact is that sometimes one person has romantic feelings for somebody that just wants to be friends.

 

[The Lunatic]

I think it's possible to get mixed signals and read into things and end up believing that there is mutual interest, only to find there is not.

I don't think the "Friendzone" exists as a conscious thing in men or women. I think it just happens, and it doesn't really appear to be the fault of anyone in particular.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Yep. I put girls in them all the time.

Yep, this.

And in my much younger days, I was in it too.

I have a theory about it; it's TV and Hollywood's fault.

Men are now taught that if you want to be the perfect boyfriend, all you need to do is be her friend. Doesn't matter if she rejects you, doesn't matter if she has a boyfriend, doesn't matter if she says no. Look at any and every Rom-Com or Romantic movie. He hangs around, he keeps helping her, he keeps being nice. It starts from Disney and works all the way through to the Hunger Games or Twilight.

It's also on T.V; Ted was friends with Robin, Barney was friends with Robin, Ross was friends with Rachel, J.D. was friends with Elliot, Leonard was friends with Penny, etc. The running theme was all they had to do was be nice, be supportive, let her walk over them and eventually she'll realise how nice you are and come running.

So nowadays, boys look at this and think "Oh, is this how you get girls? Because I sure as hell don't understand them."

They don't understand when they're rejected, that's probably it. They think "No, I really like her, all I have to do is not give up!" like TV and movies has taught them time and time again.

The anger comes when they realise that people really don't work this way, and they feel like they've been tricked, when they've only really been lied to by the media; the poor girl did nothing wrong, and the guy simply wasn't taught better.

That's my theory, anyway.

Very much this. The hot girl is the reward for the guy being persistent and less evil than the villain.

That isn't a good lesson to take home.

The friendzone bullshit is relatively benign, on the other end of the scale you have people feeling obliged to sex because they did X, Y and Z, and that it's not rape just because she says no.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

If by "Friend Zone" you mean having romantic feelings for someone, but they don't see you as anything more than a friend, then yes that's certainly a thing. However if by "Friend Zone" you mean "person X won't have sex with me therefore I'm in the Friend Zone." then no, that's stupid.

 

[404notfound]

There is no such thing as a friend-zone.

If you are friends with a woman just to get in her pants, you're not a friend, your fucking scum.

If you are genuinely friends with her, develop feelings, and have those feelings rejected, then act like a spoiled child and resent her, you're not her friend and you're fucking scum.

Seriously. The bitching and whining by entitled men that think you can input 'kindness coins' into women and sex will fall out is disturbing.

Alright, I agree that people who act like described are bad people, however: not all people who are friend-zoned are male, which you assume they are, and not all of those people will act like described. Pretty much you're just focussing on the reactions of a bunch of people and declaring their reactions to be the only response exhibited by everyone to being friend-zoned.

also

There is no such thing as a friend-zone.

You either respect her as a human being with thoughts, feelings, tastes and desires, including the fact she isn't interested in you as anything more and never will be

By definition, that is friend-zoning, friend-zoning is defined by one person wanting to keep their relationship to a friendship, not by the reactions of the person being friend-zoned. Whether they accept or not they're still friend-zoned.

Captcha: Mumbo Jumbo, relevant.

 

[geK0]

Well I haven't seen this topic in a while....

I could say that I've been "friendzoned" by a number of my friends, and that I have "friendzoned" a lot of other friends but that's just a really petty and immature way of looking at things. Personally if I have feelings for someone and they don't return those feelings, I don't really see any reason to be bitter about it.

 

[Caostotale]

If by "Friend Zone" you mean having romantic feelings for someone, but they don't see you as anything more than a friend, then yes that's certainly a thing. However if by "Friend Zone" you mean "person X won't have sex with me therefore I'm in the Friend Zone." then no, that's stupid.

Whether it's by the terms of romantic love or the terms of physical sex, an act of rejection is almost always just an act of rejection, i.e. nothing tantamount to an act of segregation sending somebody to some preconceived social 'zone'. Reading that far into an act of rejection as a matter of course is a ridiculously cynical and unhealthily paranoid way of looking at things. While, yes, some odd girls (or guys) might actually employ such terms when organizing their social lives, I wouldn't say it's even close to a common trend, just as the act of guys keeping a number of girls in some mental 'stable' is probably not very common.

 

[Mahorfeus]

Yeah, I'd say it exists.

One of the most common things I see among dissenting opinions is the idea that the guy (or girl) is just in it for the sex, and react poorly when they don't get it. Or that it's just a hateful fantasy invented by rejected, sex-deprived males. The problem seems to come in when it's tied into the whole stupid "nice guy" issue.

I think it's perfectly possible to desire a romantic relationship (read: emotional intimacy) with someone and be denied that.