Poll: Do You Use the Word "Gay" as an Insult?

[Laughing Phoenix]

Nah, I'm gay, myself.

The disconnect is still so jarring to me. So many of you have said that using "gay" as an insult is simply the way it is, but I still don't see -why- it has to be that way. What's more, all the shock at people reacting so negatively to it strikes me as insincere. Everyone in this topic knows the current political climate, knows gay rights or lack thereof or whatever is a touchy subject, and knows that the people that gay might refer to are probably a little raw from all the political and doctrinal prejudice.

Honestly, what were you expecting as a reaction? It's a political word now, let's be honest with ourselves.

If you want to be insulting, be insulting, but pretending like you didn't know that it would sting for some people out there? Man, that's just weak.

 

[badgersprite]

No, but it's not as a political statement that I avoid it. It's just not a particularly intelligent way of getting my point across. If I have an opinion to express about something, I can usually explain it in a more adept, articulate way than saying, "I don't like it because I don't like it."

 

[Bender Rodriguez]

Super rare, and its not really an insult.
I have a gay friend so

 

[Anarchy In Detroit]

I do but it isn't born of any hatred of gays. After all I mean gay as in stupid... silly? yes. I've never once said anything bad to gay people and I've worked with a bunch. In fact I'll be the first one to defend them. I just don't see the point getting all fussy over a lame insult. One of the gay waiters I used to work with once responded to a disparaging comment with "Don't be such a ******!" and it was perhaps the funniest thing I've ever seen.

 

[nosafetynets]

Super rare, and its not really an insult.
I have a gay friend so

Having a gay friend doesn't make it any less hurtful and insulting to the people around you. It doesn't make it "okay" to insult someone's identity and lifestyle just because someone of your acquaintance is alright with it - which they may not be and just may not tell you (that's always a possibility, even for those who use the term gay in a derogatory way). You may not mean it as an insult, but that's probably how it's being perceived by others.

 

[Bender Rodriguez]

Super rare, and its not really an insult.
I have a gay friend so

Having a gay friend doesn't make it any less hurtful and insulting to the people around you. It doesn't make it "okay" to insult someone's identity and lifestyle just because someone of your acquaintance is alright with it - which they may not be and just may not tell you (that's always a possibility, even for those who use the term gay in a derogatory way). You may not mean it as an insult, but that's probably how it's being perceived by others.

Ok, i think i'm going to hit you with a brick.
You don't have to dig into posts like that, my gay friends made me use the word around them.
Words smear off on others.

I think people like you are bad apples, you couldn't just let a happy post go without finding something wrong with it.
You have no idea about how my gang of friends talk amongst each other, keep your nose out of it.

 

[Jnat]

I use "gay" for homosexual and "fag" as an insult

 

[MelziGurl]

I use it playfully, never seriously and never excessively.

Super rare, and its not really an insult.
I have a gay friend so

Having a gay friend doesn't make it any less hurtful and insulting to the people around you. It doesn't make it "okay" to insult someone's identity and lifestyle just because someone of your acquaintance is alright with it - which they may not be and just may not tell you (that's always a possibility, even for those who use the term gay in a derogatory way). You may not mean it as an insult, but that's probably how it's being perceived by others.

Ok, i think i'm going to hit you with a brick.
You don't have to dig into posts like that, my gay friends made me use the word around them.
Words smear off on others.

I think people like you are bad apples, you couldn't just let a happy post go without finding something wrong with it.
You have no idea about how my gang of friends talk amongst each other, keep your nose out of it.

1. It is an insult if someone takes it as such.
2. I have a gay friend also, in fact I have many.
3. Don't share things with others if you don't want people to nitpick your posts. Shit happens.

 

[Bender Rodriguez]

I use it playfully, never seriously and never excessively.

Super rare, and its not really an insult.
I have a gay friend so

Having a gay friend doesn't make it any less hurtful and insulting to the people around you. It doesn't make it "okay" to insult someone's identity and lifestyle just because someone of your acquaintance is alright with it - which they may not be and just may not tell you (that's always a possibility, even for those who use the term gay in a derogatory way). You may not mean it as an insult, but that's probably how it's being perceived by others.

Ok, i think i'm going to hit you with a brick.
You don't have to dig into posts like that, my gay friends made me use the word around them.
Words smear off on others.

I think people like you are bad apples, you couldn't just let a happy post go without finding something wrong with it.
You have no idea about how my gang of friends talk amongst each other, keep your nose out of it.

1. It is an insult if someone takes it as such.
2. I have a gay friend also, in fact I have many.
3. Don't share things with others if you don't want people to nitpick your posts. Shit happens.

1. It's BOREDOM...he or she could have moved on. I didn't say anything negative towards gays, i was positive.
2. We are in the same boat.
3. It's a forum inviting in opinions on a sensitive issue, responding positively to this thread i didn't expect to get quoted on a positive and non harmful post.

It's one of the things in this world that i find despicable.
Thats just the way it is, don't try to change me.

 

[Jester00]

my uncle is gay and i use it.

 

[MelziGurl]

I use it playfully, never seriously and never excessively.

Super rare, and its not really an insult.
I have a gay friend so

Having a gay friend doesn't make it any less hurtful and insulting to the people around you. It doesn't make it "okay" to insult someone's identity and lifestyle just because someone of your acquaintance is alright with it - which they may not be and just may not tell you (that's always a possibility, even for those who use the term gay in a derogatory way). You may not mean it as an insult, but that's probably how it's being perceived by others.

Ok, i think i'm going to hit you with a brick.
You don't have to dig into posts like that, my gay friends made me use the word around them.
Words smear off on others.

I think people like you are bad apples, you couldn't just let a happy post go without finding something wrong with it.
You have no idea about how my gang of friends talk amongst each other, keep your nose out of it.

1. It is an insult if someone takes it as such.
2. I have a gay friend also, in fact I have many.
3. Don't share things with others if you don't want people to nitpick your posts. Shit happens.

1. It's BOREDOM...he or she could have moved on. I didn't say anything negative towards gays, i was positive.
2. We are in the same boat.
3. It's a forum inviting in opinions on a sensitive issue, responding positively to this thread i didn't expect to get quoted on a positive and non harmful post.

It's one of the things in this world that i find despicable.
Thats just the way it is, don't try to change me.

No-one is trying to 'change' you. But it's as you've just stated, this forum is about inviting people to share their opinion. Someone had an opinion on your post and you went into some kind of hissy fit over it. Therefore, if you do not wish to have your posts viewed negatively (and they can regardless of content) do not post. Simple.

 

[bobknowsall]

Nope, just don't feel it works as an insult. It's not funny, and it's not that offensive. It's just not very creative.

 

[Sebenko]

Yeah, but I can get away with it.

You know, n-word priveledges and all that.

 

[Bender Rodriguez]

I use it playfully, never seriously and never excessively.

Super rare, and its not really an insult.
I have a gay friend so

Having a gay friend doesn't make it any less hurtful and insulting to the people around you. It doesn't make it "okay" to insult someone's identity and lifestyle just because someone of your acquaintance is alright with it - which they may not be and just may not tell you (that's always a possibility, even for those who use the term gay in a derogatory way). You may not mean it as an insult, but that's probably how it's being perceived by others.

Ok, i think i'm going to hit you with a brick.
You don't have to dig into posts like that, my gay friends made me use the word around them.
Words smear off on others.

I think people like you are bad apples, you couldn't just let a happy post go without finding something wrong with it.
You have no idea about how my gang of friends talk amongst each other, keep your nose out of it.

1. It is an insult if someone takes it as such.
2. I have a gay friend also, in fact I have many.
3. Don't share things with others if you don't want people to nitpick your posts. Shit happens.

1. It's BOREDOM...he or she could have moved on. I didn't say anything negative towards gays, i was positive.
2. We are in the same boat.
3. It's a forum inviting in opinions on a sensitive issue, responding positively to this thread i didn't expect to get quoted on a positive and non harmful post.

It's one of the things in this world that i find despicable.
Thats just the way it is, don't try to change me.

No-one is trying to 'change' you. But it's as you've just stated, this forum is about inviting people to share their opinion. Someone had an opinion on your post and you went into some kind of hissy fit over it. Therefore, if you do not wish to have your posts viewed negatively (and they can regardless of content) do not post. Simple.

Sure we are all entitled to our own opinion, but he or she didn't have to quote me - I didn't say much.
I call it Boredom.

Plenty of others that actually deserve criticizing and nitpicking.

 

[DarkenedWolfEye]

I read that damn thing twice, and I still don't get why you're screaming at me.

Because you didn't read it twice, you skimmed over it twice looking for holes in it not being remotely introspective.

You are cruel, callus and uncaring. And you are utterly in denial about the harm you cause.

I give up, you're a lost cause. I don't know why I ever bothered.

Oh, this is good. I'm 'doing harm' now? No I'm not. I'm ignoring one particular meaning of a slang phrase because I don't see why the word 'gay' or 'retarded' is used that way, and ... this does harm somehow? I'm cruel and callus because I use 'gay' as an insult where the situation warrants it. Go whine to the only people who will buy that: Fox News.
And don't act like you didn't do the exact same thing when you read what I posted. This is really quite hypocritical. And in any case, trying to find flaws in the arguments of your opponent is the way I argue when it comes to some jerk on the internet screaming at me. If you were being reasonable, I might have listened, but you weren't. You were flipping out over implications that you read into what I said.
Don't set yourself up as the mature party and try to talk about subtle problems in society when you're apparently spitting in fury and can't seem to stop insulting me in the the way that involves the most swearing you can fit in there without looking like you have IED.
And I notice you got in a similar argument with Fluffles up there, and tried to finish it in the same way you're trying to finish it with me: with a disdainful 'You are not worth my time, blah blah blah, lost cause, blah blah blah, this is the most annoying pretentious way to end the argument I could think of.'
That has been used many times in my experience with arguing online (it's something of a sport for me) and almost always it smacks of you not being able to think of a response, so you pulled the 'you're not worth my time' bullshit just to piss off your opponent. It's tired and pretentious and, as you can see, gives me ample material to rip on you some more.
I would tease your for double-posting, but that's a bit too obvious.

*Yawn* straw man arguments... straw man arguments EVERYWHERE!

You're still a homophobe, why won't you just admit you are a bigot? That just makes you a coward as well, you refuse to accept the repercussions of your prejudice.

This is the only interesting and relevant part before you start whining about me daring to challenge you:

"I'm ignoring one particular meaning of a slang phrase because I don't see why the word 'gay' or 'retarded' is used that way, and ... this does harm somehow? I'm cruel and callus because I use 'gay' as an insult where the situation warrants it."

Because you know damn well how OTHER PEOPLE interpret "gay" and "retard". Yes, there are people on this planet other than you.

"I don't see"

Denial. It is so blatant, you practically admit it. You are wilfully ignorant.

Don't be so thick headed acting as if you have NEVER hear of the term "gay" to describe homosexuals or the world "retard" to categorise the mentally handicapped. Don't. Don't fucking insult me with more of your bullshit. It IS the popular and most widely spread use of the term.

I think the ENTIRE REASON you use "gay" and "retard" as insults is because you know what they stand for and you HATE THEM. You are certainly are disgusted and disturbed by them, afraid of them.

But what's the point. I've made this argument already, you'll just ignore it. You'll either not respond or come up with the most ridiculously convoluted cop-out so you can still pardon yourself. Convince yourself you aren't a bigot and go on yelling "GAY!" and "RETARD!".

If this doesn't get through to you, nothing will. I've made this argument already but you've ignored it, why should I bother for a third time?

Alright! Finally, thank you. I couldn't figure out what it was precisely you were dancing around for the past few pages of text, but you've finally just said it plainly: You're accusing me of being homophobic. I see.
I never intended to give that impression; several acquaintances (family and friends whom I love) are gay and I certainly don't judge them for it. I used to be a little uncomfortable with them at first, true, but it didn't take long to get over. Discomfort at first isn't homophobia; it's totally normal (especially when you consider I was fairly young when my older sister came out and I didn't really even understand what sex, let alone sexual preference, was.)
Reading or watch movies about homosexual relationships never made me uncomfortable at all; matter of fact, I find that particular brand of romance to be more heartfelt and sincere. I can't really explain it, but I enjoy gay romances more than I do straight ones. And I never considered using the word 'gay' to be homophobic, and no one I know has a problem with it. It doesn't bother my gay friends; it shouldn't bother anyone else.
As to your second accusation (regarding my opinion to people with Down Syndrome) ... well, I do admit that I've always felt uncomfortable. I had unsettling experiences with the special ed kids all through elementary school, and I just don't like them. I'm sure that if I got to know some of these kids, I wouldn't be so bothered, but I never had the opportunity or even the inclination when I was younger and now there's even less of a chance that I'll ever really get over it. I don't like that about myself, but there's nothing I can really do to change it. I know it's wrong. That doesn't mean I can help it.
But back to the original point, I don't use the words 'gay' and 'retard' as specific attacks against these minorities. I use them as normal words. I'm not a discriminatory bigot who goes around preaching the most close-minded and judgmental sections of the bible, and I don't claim that special ed ought to have funding cut. I don't hate homosexuals, and I don't hate the mentally challenged (the latter just makes me uncomfortable, and always has since I was eight. There's no point in trying to change that now.)
Please stop claiming to know who I am and how I act in the real world based on the fact that I say 'gay'.

 

[nosafetynets]

Super rare, and its not really an insult.
I have a gay friend so

Having a gay friend doesn't make it any less hurtful and insulting to the people around you. It doesn't make it "okay" to insult someone's identity and lifestyle just because someone of your acquaintance is alright with it - which they may not be and just may not tell you (that's always a possibility, even for those who use the term gay in a derogatory way). You may not mean it as an insult, but that's probably how it's being perceived by others.

Ok, i think i'm going to hit you with a brick.
You don't have to dig into posts like that, my gay friends made me use the word around them.
Words smear off on others.

I think people like you are bad apples, you couldn't just let a happy post go without finding something wrong with it.
You have no idea about how my gang of friends talk amongst each other, keep your nose out of it.

People like me are bad apples? Just as you say I have no idea about your life, you have no idea about mine. I'm not going to get into a big fuss with you about this. I was just trying to point out that some people outside your group of friends - who "make you use" the derogatory term - might find your usage of the word "gay" in a loose way offensive. Not everyone takes it so casually, particularly if they, like myself and many, many other people in the LGBTQ community, have been verbally abused with similar epithets. It may have seemed like a happy post to you, but it seems somewhat close-minded, particularly when posted with no other qualifier than "I have a gay friend," which is commonly used by people with less than loving feelings for the LGBTQ community as an excuse for using derogatory terms and phrases. Even if you don't personally intend it to be offensive, it might be perceived as such. Don't close your mind to those possibilities. Not everyone lives in the happy world you seem to. Kudos to you for not meaning it as an insult, but that doesn't make it "okay" to use the term loosely when it's often perceived as such.

 

[Bender Rodriguez]

Super rare, and its not really an insult.
I have a gay friend so

Having a gay friend doesn't make it any less hurtful and insulting to the people around you. It doesn't make it "okay" to insult someone's identity and lifestyle just because someone of your acquaintance is alright with it - which they may not be and just may not tell you (that's always a possibility, even for those who use the term gay in a derogatory way). You may not mean it as an insult, but that's probably how it's being perceived by others.

Ok, i think i'm going to hit you with a brick.
You don't have to dig into posts like that, my gay friends made me use the word around them.
Words smear off on others.

I think people like you are bad apples, you couldn't just let a happy post go without finding something wrong with it.
You have no idea about how my gang of friends talk amongst each other, keep your nose out of it.

People like me are bad apples? Just as you say I have no idea about your life, you have no idea about mine. I'm not going to get into a big fuss with you about this. I was just trying to point out that some people outside your group of friends - who "make you use" the derogatory term - might find your usage of the word "gay" in a loose way offensive. Not everyone takes it so casually, particularly if they, like myself and many, many other people in the LGBTQ community, have been verbally abused with similar epithets. It may have seemed like a happy post to you, but it seems somewhat close-minded, particularly when posted with no other qualifier than "I have a gay friend," which is commonly used by people with less than loving feelings for the LGBTQ community as an excuse for using derogatory terms and phrases. Even if you don't personally intend it to be offensive, it might be perceived as such. Don't close your mind to those possibilities. Not everyone lives in the happy world you seem to. Kudos to you for not meaning it as an insult, but that doesn't make it "okay" to use the term loosely when it's often perceived as such.

Look, this is exactly what i got mad about.
You quoted me about very little when there are so many other candidates to choose from.

I am aware that we don't know each-other, but in my original post i said super rare.
I added in another post my gay friends made me use the word as a fun gesture, i can only think about two or three instances where this have occurred. And it was with their approval.

If if were to ever use the word it certainly wouldn't be as an insult, it would be for things that are slightly skewed or things that i feel split off from the main pack. Thats how i feel the word fits in strangely.

We can do this all year if you like, but i don't.
Thats one of the things I'm pissed about, i think the whole gay thing is a waste of time to talk about.
Just let people have their freedom and get on with it.

 

[enriel]

Lately I've been using the original definition of the word queer to describe things.

My gay friend told me however that now queer is technically the politically correct term for some of a non traditional sexual orientation, so perhaps I've kind of been using it wrong? I don't know; the intent is not to insult, so I don't see so.

Using gay as an insult 'that's so gay' is something that sort of irritates me, but I say a lot of things that can be construed as being quite obscene and offensive, so I can't exactly call people out on it.

In the end, language is a powerful tool; but it only has as much power as you give it. If you use words with intent to offend, well, quit being such an asshole I guess. If you hear offensive words, it's your choice whether or not to be offended.

 

[Azaraxzealot]

i do, my friends do, my homosexual friends do
its just a term which means something "sucks" or isnt really cool
thats how my little bay-area community feels about it here in fremont