Poll: Dumped a girl. Help? Please?

[Smooth Operator]

Well if you did it in a reasonably civilized manner then it's perfectly fine, and you can always expect them to be angry, rejection cuts deep and hurts bad so you can imagine people will be unreasonably pissed at the person who did it.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Girls tend to stick together, especially in school. Her friends will hate you cause you hurt her, that's understandable. They'll get over it eventually. A whole 5 month relationship, what a shocker! /sarcasm.
Speaking from experience, our friends will fall out with us if we don't hate their ex. I was cool with one of my friend exes in school and she'd always have a go at me for it, even though she broke up with him.
You usually get out of that thinking pattern as you get older, if my friends wanted to be best buddies with my ex I'd say go right ahead.
I'd say you did the right thing, it was better than cheating. There's no point staying in a relationship if you're not happy, it'll just hurt both of you more in the long run.

Teal Deer; You're in school. You'll all get over it. You're only young, part of being young is relationships and break-ups. Make the most of your school years.

 

[Kouen]

At least you was open and honest about it

 

[FamoFunk]

Of course you did the right thing. Better than pretending and stringing her along while lusting for another Girl.

Less hassle in the long run.

 

[Frankster]

Can see how the girl and her friends would be miffled :\

But you did the right thing. What was the alternative? Stay with a girl you weren't interested in? That wouldn't have been good for either of you.

No easy way to remedy this situation beyond time healing wounds and accepting that your ex gf's clique of friends will probably be antagonistic towards you for a while.

Seriously though, I think your conduct was admirable in that you didn't fool around with the other girl nor even had to white lie. Respect.

 

[lettucethesallad]

Yes, you did the right thing. You can't stay with someone just to make them happy if you're not. Telling her on the way to school was maybe a bit... but generally, you've gotta do what you've gotta do.

 

[132635]

Ok people, after reading some of your comments, I am going to clear some stuff up. I am a 15 year old in High School. I am not currently dating girl B, although I will be when I feel its acceptable. I felt I needed to be honest, and saying anything short of what I said would be lying. High School is a place where relationships begin and end, and this isn't very uncommon. I feel I could have let Girl A off easier, but I can feel good for not cheating or ect. Also, no sex was involved with the relationship. Close, but not quite.

 

[V TheSystem V]

My sister's ex broke up with her for someone else (who later rejected him), and I know how hurt she was by it.

Basically, telling a girl that you have feelings for someone else makes them feel as if they aren't good enough for you. So yes, her friends have the right to wanna lynch you.

But you didn't cheat, which is good. You resisted temptation, and made sure that your now ex knew about it. You were honest, but I'm a guy who thinks that saying 'I found someone else' is a VERY stupid way of breaking up with someone. Basically throws away any chances of having a friendship with that girl later on if you wanted one.

 

[smithy_2045]

You could've handled it better, that's for sure. No one is going to be pleased to hear that they've been dumped for someone else. But you didn't do anything wrong as such.

EDIT:

"I'm breaking up with you because there's somebody better" is pretty much THE WORST possible thing to hear when somebody breaks up with you. It's guaranteed to make the other person feel like shit (moreso than pretty much anything else you can say.) If you didn't actively dislike your current partner, you should have found a classier way to break up with her.

You should have found a better way to break up with your ex and given it at least a little time before hooking up with girl B (which is probably an emotionally healthy thing to do anyway.) So yeah. That was definitely wrong. Not "burn in hell" wrong, but "selfish and thoughtless" wrong.

This guy said what I wanted to but much better.

 

[Agow95]

You didn't cheat, you didn't want to drag on a relationship when you were no longer interested, and unless your original GF was pregnant or something along those lines you have no reason to stay in the relationship when you didn't want to

 

[Bloodtrozorx]

I believe that you did the right thing; you didn't string her along while seeing another girl on the side. You manned up and ended it. I say thank you for proving we?re not all two timing dicks.

 

[dogenzakaminion]

You were honest and prevented a potentially unhappy relationship from needlessly dragging on. Best way you can do it in my opinion. Good luck with the new one

 

[The Funslinger]

Why did I read that as "Humped a girl. Help? Please?"?

Because you're a bad, bad man! :'D

OT: Well, it's their job as her friend, I suppose. Not the best system, but ah well.

I was dumped early March, and all my friends did start demonizing her (though what with my feelings, I was obviously more apathetic) and even people I only really had a very mild friendship/acquaintance with sided with me, including a handful of people who went to secondary school with her (I'm in A level college) but never really interacted with her all that much.

That probably had more to do with her kissing another guy the friday before she broke up with me (out of shame, and that "the spark was gone") more than her dumping me.

 

[Sunrider]

Surely you did the right thing? You didn't cheat and you ended it before you went on to do something else.

Sure, she won't be happy but at least you were up front about it.

A thousand times this. Honesty is pretty much the best way to go at all times. Finding out that you were lied to from someone else or afterwards is many times worse.

the proper course of action would have been to check and see if she was up for a 3some first... you never know unless you ask

We tried that with my fiancee's best friend... best weekend ever.

While I don't like doing so most of the time, it feels necessary here. High five, man! Pretty much the best thing that can happen that has nothing to do with the love and affection given by cats!

 

[DoomyMcDoom]

You essentially told your ex that you dumped her for someone else, that's got to burn. There's nothing wrong with actually leaving her because you like someone else, but you could probably have handled that last bit better.

Trust me, having someone dump you for someone else, feels better than being dumped just because, and then seeing them not going out with ANYONE for months before finding a new fling.
That hurts more.

To the OP: Dude, you've done nothing wrong, if it was that easy to choose someone else over her it would have NEVER and I repeat NEVER worked out between you, ending it for any reason, is completely acceptable, and the fact that you already have someone else to be with out of the deal makes it better for you. Now, from what you've said, it sounds like your ex is a major drama queen and has gotten her friends convinced that you are a monster, this will wear off eventually, when you continue being a decent guy and they see it, they'll have less and less justification to hold their view and it will crumble, it'll just take some time.

Good on ya for not being a pussy, ending stuff can be hard, but you did it, and you moved on, this is a GOOD and HEALTHY thing, feel proud of yourself.

 

[Guffe]

At least you said straight forward why you did it!
Better this way is how I see it, being with someone and not liking it won't be good for neither of you, her friends are ignorant even thou I think I know why they think the way they do. Don't mind it. This happens all the time.

 

[DoomyMcDoom]

I can't answer either way. First, you probably hurt her, and that's a bad thing. Second, you left her solely for someone prettier. Rebuttal to point 2: that's not necessarily a bad thing if no one was hurt.Third, no one can say what you did was "right." At best, what you did was morally gray.

Now, since this is a forum, my personal bias. You do not specify if sex was involved, but it can be assumed. That being said, I find it morally repugnant when someone is just fine with casually leaving someone you convinced to give you the most personal thing that can be given.

I say I cannot decide simply because I acknowledge I don't have the whole story.

Except that that "hurt" is something that you hafta get over if you want to live a productive life in today's society, I can't tell you how many bad relationships I've been in in the last while, and I can tell you, if I hadn't been REALLY BADLY burned the first time, I'd probably not be able to get over it so fast/easy.

Sex... Well it's not so personal later on in life, least not to most people, so I wouldn't count that against him, she could very well end up totally slutting it up and fucking everything with a dick later, this has been known to happen... To a LOT of young women, generally it's a call for attention, sometimes triggered by a breakup as a kinda rebound-action-band-aid-thing...

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

Who cares if what you did was right. You should do what you wanted to do, not what you thought was right. Lying to yourself about what you want to do is the worst way to approach relationships.

Her friends are obliged to hate you for dumping her, especially at your age.

 

[Naeras]

From the sound of it, you're simply being honest. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Of course, I don't have the whole story, but if you're more happy with your new girl, there's absolutely no reason why you should have stayed with the old one. Making yourself miserable in order to avoid getting badmouthed is far worse than others trying to make you feel miserable.

Also? If your ex and their friends are acting like bitches now, it's because they probably are. Just ignore them and enjoy the new girl.





edit:
Also, a question to the people who say "you could've handled this better": can I ask how? Unless that's a long-distance relationship thing or anything he can flat-out keep secret(which it really didn't sound like it was, considering his old girl knew who this was), what could he have done?

 

[smithy_2045]

edit:
Also, a question to the people who say "you could've handled this better": can I ask how? Unless that's a long-distance relationship thing or anything he can flat-out keep secret(which it really didn't sound like it was, considering his old girl knew who this was), what could he have done?

IMO, dumping someone and immediately getting into a relationship with someone else isn't cool. That's what it boils down to for me.