Poll: High school: too early?

[Naeo]

This is a question that came up amongst a friend of mine and myself. We're kind of in an odd spot, neither really boyfriend/girlfriend/lovers nor "just friends". Her parents told her the other day that high school is "too young to form any serious relationships".

I've heard that one line over and over and over. I've also heard "you can't make real, long-lasting friendships in high school". So, my question to you Escapists (Escapees? What's our proper demonym?) is: how true is that? Is high school too early to form substantial, deep, and/or long-lasting friendships or relationships?

Out of curiosity, I've affixed an age-thingy to the questions.

Personally I think it's not too early. People are perfectly capable of doing it and I know several other people at my school who will probably be staying in touch for many years after they graduate. It's really just that high school is your first chance to make such a relationship/friendship, and there's usually a/the "first-time 'what the fuck do I do'". And so, some people will fumble about with friendships/relationships, while others are making/in long-lasting ones. Granted, the latter is uncommon, but I've seen it once or twice before. And a lot of people feel like they want to retain freedom and not get tied down, and from my experiences/what I've seen there's also that people will just go out with someone they don't know beyond just "friends" that well, so there's a smaller chance that such a relationship would last.

Now, granted that I am myself in high school, my viewpoint is almost doubtlessly biased and I might not have any idea what I'm talking about, not having seen these relationships/friendships play out that long amongst people in my grade.

 

[WrongSprite]

Of course not.

Whats the problem with them?

 

[D_987]

School is where potential life-long friendships are made...

"Love" relationships on the other-hand...not so much.

 

[ThrobbingEgo]

I'm out of high school, and I'd say no (as in, I wouldn't say it's too early), but it's easy to get ahead of yourself. You do meet a lot of cooler people in university and you'll have a better sense of who you are, compared with high school.

I was in what seemed like a serious relationship in high school but I broke it off. No disrespect to the girl, it just wasn't as real as it seemed. I felt like who I was didn't matter to her.

But if your relationship's real, who's to say it can't start in high school? Just because it seems like everyone else is an over dramatic idiot, it doesn't mean you are.

 

[Legion]

Usually it's too early for serious romatic relationships because of the overall maturity of people that age (bear in mind that high school ends at 16 in the UK then we go onto college/6th Form until we are 18).

That said, there are those who are mature enough to commit themselves to a real relationship, they are just a lot rarer.

As for friendships, no, some people make friends when they are a toddler who they are friends with all their life. Age matters less with friendship because there is a lot less responsibility and commitment.

 

[XJ-0461]

It totally depends on the people involved. If the people in question are mature enough then it can be the right time. Though if the people are idiots then they have no hope.

 

[Cowabungaa]

No, her parents are talking out of their asses. Why? It's simple: not every human is the same. I'm 18 now, and I already longed for a real relationship in high-school. I still do, and it doesn't make me happy.

 

[Emperorpeng]

My parents got married right out of high school, but I know some people who really shouldn't do the same.

It's more about the person than the age. Most people are still really immature in high school.

 

[TheMatt]

HS is wayyyyy too early to have a serious relationship. I'd say anywhere before 25 years old is too early.

 

[CY_Definitive]

I'm out of high school and still with the girl I met there (going on 3 years now).

And whats even funnier, it's a long distance relationship (soon to be longer, when I deploy to South Korea).

*Shrugs* That said, some relationships, or the people in them, rather, are just compatible. Some aren't.

I think a good hint would be: if SEX isn't the main focal point of the relationship (or something not done at all), then they're probably a keeper, especially if you both enjoy each other's company to a massive extent.

 

[xHipaboo420x]

It's not too early to be in a serious relationship, but it may be a little too early to tell.

 

[Cowabungaa]

HS is wayyyyy too early to have a serious relationship. I'd say anywhere before 25 years old is too early.

My parents got together when they were 18, and are now married for 15 years. Same for my grandparents, who are married for a gazillion years now.

 

[Nmil-ek]

It's never too early to form real relationships my best mate (currently I guess) and me have known each other for little over 12 years we grew up in a shitty area so having someone to lend a shoulder and watch your back in shity times was great. Today well we talk over msn now and again mostly my fault he got more into drugs/clubbing I got more into depression and hospitalisation I guess.

Uhh anyway on the point yeah ofcourse you can make real friends in highschool exepriance shapes people more than words and you never know who youll bump into or rely on in what situation. Love on the other hand no very, very rarely until you know the pressures of work, responsibility (real responsibility) and bills/taxes.

 

[ElephantGuts]

No, not necessarily. Who can tell you when you're ready for a serious relationship? Of course people in high school could be too immature, but then again so can many adults. Just because you're in school doesn't automatically mean you aren't ready for something like that.

As long as you don't think the relationship is more serious than it actually is. It is still just high school.

 

[AkJay]

take it from me, you DO NOT want to get into a "serious relationship" with a girl in high-school, most of them are bitches who do not know what they want in a man.

 

[Irridium]

Well, you can, but its very rare.

 

[Good morning blues]

It is theoretically possible to have a successful 'serious' relationship in high school, but people are so full of hormones and so lacking in experience at that point that these cases are so few and far between that they may as not exist at all. High school is the point in which you're most likely to turn a shitty relationship into one where you're IN LOVE JUST LIKE ROMEO AND JULIET for no good reason and least likely to listen to any sane advice on the topic.

As for friendships, why not? The sort of maturity that friendships require is a hell of a lot easier to come by than the sort that relationships require.

 

[TheMatt]

HS is wayyyyy too early to have a serious relationship. I'd say anywhere before 25 years old is too early.

My parents got together when they were 18, and are now married for 15 years. Same for my grandparents, who are married for a gazillion years now.

They are the exception and grats to them. Why do you think 60% of marriages fail nowadays? Ppl get horny for something new.

 

[retro himself]

Nope, i had serious relationships all through highschool. Its also where you meet most of your future close friends.

>serious relationships
>all through highschool
<_<

Anyway, 98% of people in highschools think they are in a serious relationship and think they know what it means, but it 98% of those people have a completely non-serious relationship and date just because.. well, just because. Because dating is "popular" and they want to try it out. I agree with that, but then people tack on so much responsibility and meaning to a relationship that's almost nothing more than just having someone for a couple of months until someone new pops up.

 

[literallyanythingelse]

I'm in between Sixth Form (i guess that's still high school to the yanks?) and Uni so I can't say whether I will stay close with my friends, although I'm fairly sure I will. However, I think that, romantically speaking, high school is about getting your bearings and fooling around with lots of people so you know what you like. So I think it is too early for any serious relationships.
Long term relationships at school also stop you from having as much fun at parties as well - I should know, I was with one girl for 2 years...