Poll: How do you see virgins?
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Excellent subjects for ritual sacrifice, second only to faithful nuns/monks, and right ahead of newborn infants (who are virgins, but not generally via choice).
To give a slightly more serious answer, I generally see them through telescope, as they're changing clothes, having carelessly left their curtains open.
To give an entirely serious answer, it's a purely incidental characteristic that has absolutely no bearing on anything, excluding whatever arbitrary value the people directly involved in the virginity (and the removal thereof, and the lack of removal thereof) place on it.
To give a slightly more serious answer, I generally see them through telescope, as they're changing clothes, having carelessly left their curtains open.
To give an entirely serious answer, it's a purely incidental characteristic that has absolutely no bearing on anything, excluding whatever arbitrary value the people directly involved in the virginity (and the removal thereof, and the lack of removal thereof) place on it.
You'll get laid eventually, when it's the right time. Far fatter and uglier people than you have had sex, don't worry about it so much.
Depends. If they are older and desperately trying to get some but cannot because they have gotten creepy in a "feel up drunk girls" sort of way (I've seen it happen), or if they are too scared to commit because of a fear of a broken heart or whatever, then yeah, I'd say they are sad.
Fact is, and they never tell you this but chances are you're not getting married to the first person you get with, unless you marry them first. So all that worry over having to be in a relationship first or after the big event, is pointless. The odds are good they won't be your last and making your first time all special is dumb. Every time ought to be special, or at least enjoyable.
Otherwise, who cares? I mean, being a virgin forever is obviously a bit strange, but people have their reasons. That being said, I don't personally see what the big deal is. It's just sex and you're going to have to get it out of the way and get good at it eventually. Just pray that it isn't awkward or that something bad doesn't happen. Find someone who knows what they are doing, be safe and have fun is the best advice I can offer.
Fact is, and they never tell you this but chances are you're not getting married to the first person you get with, unless you marry them first. So all that worry over having to be in a relationship first or after the big event, is pointless. The odds are good they won't be your last and making your first time all special is dumb. Every time ought to be special, or at least enjoyable.
Otherwise, who cares? I mean, being a virgin forever is obviously a bit strange, but people have their reasons. That being said, I don't personally see what the big deal is. It's just sex and you're going to have to get it out of the way and get good at it eventually. Just pray that it isn't awkward or that something bad doesn't happen. Find someone who knows what they are doing, be safe and have fun is the best advice I can offer.
Yep, pretty much this. Believe it or not, sex is fun but not the be all and end all of life (except that there's no life in the absence of same, but that's way too philosophical for a Saturday night).ten.to.ten said:
Now, I'll admit to being a few years removed from being 17, but yeah, it can be an obsessive issue for the uninitiated. Seriously, though-- don't do anything dumb to quench that thirst. Don't get a disease, don't sleep with anyone you wouldn't want to look at in the morning, and above all, don't get her preggers. And no, don't assume that she's on the pill and free of STDs.
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I don't care.
As long as they're not constantly going on about it, they're just fucking people. What they have or have not done is none of my concern.
As long as they're not constantly going on about it, they're just fucking people. What they have or have not done is none of my concern.
Depends entirely on how old they are. Obviously (if I wasn't married) I wouldn't be interested in a relationship with someone who was a virgin because at 32 I've got no interest in being with someone who is still learning how to have a relationship (and they'd probably be far too young). I'd would have said the same from about 20 onwards - nothing wrong with the virginity part per se, but it's just that having a good relationship is something you learn through experience and you don't really want to have to be with someone who is still doing that.
Similarly, I'd advise someone who hasn't had much in the way of ongoing relationships not to go out with someone who is or has been married or in several long-term relationships, because 3-6 months down the track you're going to want very different things. You'll be swept off your feet, not realising that things are going to change in a few months time, and not being able to balance the relationship with the rest of your life - usually the younger/less-experienced person ends up losing all their friends or dropping their career, when they really should be seeing someone the same age with the same kind of experience, and learning how to balance that stuff.
Similarly, I'd advise someone who hasn't had much in the way of ongoing relationships not to go out with someone who is or has been married or in several long-term relationships, because 3-6 months down the track you're going to want very different things. You'll be swept off your feet, not realising that things are going to change in a few months time, and not being able to balance the relationship with the rest of your life - usually the younger/less-experienced person ends up losing all their friends or dropping their career, when they really should be seeing someone the same age with the same kind of experience, and learning how to balance that stuff.
Why, I just cruise on over to 4chan and there they are...
--Wait, nono, sorry, sorry, sorry, shouldn't make fun.
Seriously, sex is, like pretty much everything else, something everyone sees and values differently--and values differently at different points of their lives--and something people should approach in whatever way is most comfortable for them.
It also has the biggest hype-to-payoff ratio since Daikatana. It can be nice--really really nice, especially if it's with someone you feel strongly about, but it's not the be-all and end-all of anything (uh, okay, except for the continuation of most multicellular life as we know it, I guess), but it's nothing to be too distraught over if you feel you're taking your time to get to it. Don't worry, it'll happen.
And if you're, err, "saving yourself" until you find "the right one", totally cool. But life can have a tough time living up to such a romantic notion. When I was an adolescent I made too big a deal of the whole thing; I was desperate to wait until I'd discovered the love of my life. In the end I had sex for the first time with someone I liked well enough, though we didn't have that cosmic connection I'd hoped for. But ultimately it was a good experience; it removed a ton of the pressures and neuroses surrounding all aspects of love, and it let me get on with both sex and life in general.
--Wait, nono, sorry, sorry, sorry, shouldn't make fun.
Seriously, sex is, like pretty much everything else, something everyone sees and values differently--and values differently at different points of their lives--and something people should approach in whatever way is most comfortable for them.
It also has the biggest hype-to-payoff ratio since Daikatana. It can be nice--really really nice, especially if it's with someone you feel strongly about, but it's not the be-all and end-all of anything (uh, okay, except for the continuation of most multicellular life as we know it, I guess), but it's nothing to be too distraught over if you feel you're taking your time to get to it. Don't worry, it'll happen.
And if you're, err, "saving yourself" until you find "the right one", totally cool. But life can have a tough time living up to such a romantic notion. When I was an adolescent I made too big a deal of the whole thing; I was desperate to wait until I'd discovered the love of my life. In the end I had sex for the first time with someone I liked well enough, though we didn't have that cosmic connection I'd hoped for. But ultimately it was a good experience; it removed a ton of the pressures and neuroses surrounding all aspects of love, and it let me get on with both sex and life in general.
It really depends. It's actually quite subjective. A friend of mine isn't, and being a mental imagery person, my mind goes nuts, coincidentally - Nevermind.
I also have friends who are virgins, and some care, and some don't. I've noticed those who do fall into the milestone category more often than not. Those who aren't just don't give a shit.
Me? Well, being seventeen and a virgin, I'm disappointed in myself. Not just because I haven't gotten laid, but because it makes me feel worthless. As in nobody wants to have sex with me because I'm pathetic, lame, (insert something angst in here).
I think that's the problem with virginity for both genders, is that being a virgin sort of a has a non-spoken implication that nobody wants you.
For the people who feel that way about themselves, well, I feel for you.
How do I view them? People. I'd have to know more about them before I start making judgements. It can screw with your head though, I'll say that much.
I also have friends who are virgins, and some care, and some don't. I've noticed those who do fall into the milestone category more often than not. Those who aren't just don't give a shit.
Me? Well, being seventeen and a virgin, I'm disappointed in myself. Not just because I haven't gotten laid, but because it makes me feel worthless. As in nobody wants to have sex with me because I'm pathetic, lame, (insert something angst in here).
I think that's the problem with virginity for both genders, is that being a virgin sort of a has a non-spoken implication that nobody wants you.
For the people who feel that way about themselves, well, I feel for you.
How do I view them? People. I'd have to know more about them before I start making judgements. It can screw with your head though, I'll say that much.
If this thread has gone into the realms of "OP is stupid/generalising/insecure to ask this question and lets give advice instead" i'd say that you should not be drunk and try it while you're still not 100% comfortable with sex. I know all the arguments of "i'm just having fun" or "I feel less self conscious".
Long story short is you'll end up feeling like you havn't actually gained or learned anything, all those things that feel like worry/pressure will remain and you'll probably feel like you have to be attached to that person even if you only have a very shallow relationship, and likely the act itself meant far more to you than it did to the other person who was also 'just having fun'. Unless of course you're both new to the idea in which case "that girl I hooked up with at the party" sounds like the perfect relationship to me too...
Long story short is you'll end up feeling like you havn't actually gained or learned anything, all those things that feel like worry/pressure will remain and you'll probably feel like you have to be attached to that person even if you only have a very shallow relationship, and likely the act itself meant far more to you than it did to the other person who was also 'just having fun'. Unless of course you're both new to the idea in which case "that girl I hooked up with at the party" sounds like the perfect relationship to me too...