Poll: How much older is too old?
- Thread starter Goofguy
- Start date
Depending on your age, you may also want to consider someone else's swimmers or adoption. While not as drastic as maternal age effect, increased paternal age is linked to several genetic disorders. [footnote]http://genetics.emory.edu/docs/Emory_Human_Genetics_Paternal_Age_Risks.PDF[/footnote] However, the association is more linear.Copper Zen said:
OT: I'd feel comfortable up to around 10 years older than me, so that would be 32 right now. I've always been really close to my sister (who is 10 years older), and so I don't think of people that age as being drastically older.
In terms of what I might put into a dating site to cut down on the thousands of applications I'd obviously be getting I'd probably go 10 years either way....actually, I'd go down 16 years, because 18 year old girls *cough*.
Seriously now, as long as you like each other enough to want some sort of relationship then that's fine, relationships can fail or succeed for a multitude of reasons and deciding to not even try based purely on age seems kind of defeatist to me.
As to "half your age plus 7"... that's more like my first statement, good for cutting down the options on dating sites and will probably give you someone who is more likely to be compatible but it's still stupid to rule out people who fall outside that bracket based on that alone. [edit...also, just realised this is about older than you so umm...that means I could go up to 54 and not seem icky by that "rule"]
I would also like to say my maternal grandfather was 40 when he married my maternal grandmother, who was a 20 year old nurse. Meant little to me when I was a kid, but this days I think "smooth move grandad you pimpin old dude". She also pined away within a couple of years when he died so clearly there was a lot more there than just "mmmm, young nurse", "oooh, older guy with money"
Seriously now, as long as you like each other enough to want some sort of relationship then that's fine, relationships can fail or succeed for a multitude of reasons and deciding to not even try based purely on age seems kind of defeatist to me.
As to "half your age plus 7"... that's more like my first statement, good for cutting down the options on dating sites and will probably give you someone who is more likely to be compatible but it's still stupid to rule out people who fall outside that bracket based on that alone. [edit...also, just realised this is about older than you so umm...that means I could go up to 54 and not seem icky by that "rule"]
I would also like to say my maternal grandfather was 40 when he married my maternal grandmother, who was a 20 year old nurse. Meant little to me when I was a kid, but this days I think "smooth move grandad you pimpin old dude". She also pined away within a couple of years when he died so clearly there was a lot more there than just "mmmm, young nurse", "oooh, older guy with money"
My personal experience alters my opinion on the matter. Normally I would think Once you're past, say 25, then I would say all bets are off and you can date whoever. But I have an aunt that got married in her mid 20's to a man twice her age and is the same age as my grandmother. I never thought anything of it until recently as he is now 70 and experiencing health problems associated with getting older (poor heart, arthritis, diabetes, bad back, etc.)
Another issue is they don't have any kids so my brother and I are constantly called to there house to handle basic household chores that would be done by the children they could have had. It's something that I think about when I think about age gaps.
I'm a teenager and up until the age of 25 I'd follow the half +7 rule. After I'd say I wouldn't go too much older or younger. IE 28 years old I'd go as low as about 21 and as I as mid to late 30s.
Another issue is they don't have any kids so my brother and I are constantly called to there house to handle basic household chores that would be done by the children they could have had. It's something that I think about when I think about age gaps.
I'm a teenager and up until the age of 25 I'd follow the half +7 rule. After I'd say I wouldn't go too much older or younger. IE 28 years old I'd go as low as about 21 and as I as mid to late 30s.
Did I say the entire relationship is based on looks? No, I said it starts off with a physical attraction.Wolverine18 said:
I was using stereotypes for a reason, in this case they are true for the general population. Most young people go out and like to party in night clubs, getting shit faced then stumbling home at 4 am ... most old people are in bed for 11 and spend the evening reading the paper or watching the news. How many old people do you see in night clubs and how many 23 year olds do you see sat at home watching the news or reading the paper? Sure some do but they are in the minority.
15 years isn't that much, it's not even a generation gap really. There is also a difference between listening to the radio and going to a night club, radio is more pop music set at a reasonable listening level, dance music is fast and set to a listening level so hearing aids aren't needed.
Wait, your wife is 27 years younger than you but she is "quite a bit older than me as well"? I don't think you're married .... either that or married to two different people.
There is compromise in relationships but out right changing your life style to suit your partner is when shit breaks down 'cos you are going to want to do what you enjoy doing and if that other person doesn't like you doing it a problem is created, which will lead to resentment and sneaking out, maybe even lying about where you are or where you have been, which obviously creates mistrust, arguments happen blah blah blah.
Did I say they where? I was using it as an example. Of course there are couples who have 40 odd year difference but make it work, I am taking about the majority, not the minority!
Who did I tell they can't love who they want to? You're just putting words in my mouth. Like I just said "I am taking about the majority, not the minority!" if you want to marry person with 60 years on you all the power to you, be happy! Wont effect my life in anyway.
Sorry but the bit about a 19 year old being mentally a child is complete horseshit. I've met 16 year old who make better decisions than many people in their mid-twenties.mrdude2010 said:
Its everything to do with individuals, you don't date the average person, there's no such thing. Arbitrary dating rules don't apply to anyone with the sense to realise that.
My rule used to be 3 years in both directions, both younger and older...
Then I started liking someone I thought was 17 (when I was 20), turns out she was 14...
After pretty much destroying myself over this fact, I didn't talk to her for like two years, but then I realized that it was the girl I liked, not her age.
So I kind of threw my 3 years +/- rule out the window.
If it's about the person and not the age, I don't see why I should get in their way.
That MASSIVE age difference Still gives me the creeps though... >.>
Then I started liking someone I thought was 17 (when I was 20), turns out she was 14...
After pretty much destroying myself over this fact, I didn't talk to her for like two years, but then I realized that it was the girl I liked, not her age.
So I kind of threw my 3 years +/- rule out the window.
If it's about the person and not the age, I don't see why I should get in their way.
That MASSIVE age difference Still gives me the creeps though... >.>
Unless you are just desperate or something you have to have a physical attraction at first, otherwise it just comes off as doing it 'cos you can. I don't know many people who think "that person is ugly, I am going to try and get with them!".Wolverine18 said:
I know every young person doesn't like to get shit faced, I have never been drunk and haven't had any alcohol in almost 5 years and I am 23. I don't know a single older person who uses the net for news, they watch the news on TV or read a paper ... that might be more the fact I live in the UK.
"thus is wrong to assume that any genuine older-younger relationship is not possible." if I said anything like that I meant it in the same way people say "everybody drinks", well not everybody drinks alcohol but the minority is so small it's almost like they don't exist.
As for this last point I covered it in the previous 1, there are exceptions to things. I was saying the minority is so small that it might as well not exist.
Age doesn't mean anything, well once you've reached 18 anyway.
I'm 19 and my... "girlfriend"(I guess) is 42 and you know what? Best sex and longest running relationship of my life... so far.
Although some of the underage debate is silly to me.
Like an 18 year old having a 16 year old girlfriend is technically illegal but not generally a source of concern.
I'm 19 and my... "girlfriend"(I guess) is 42 and you know what? Best sex and longest running relationship of my life... so far.
Although some of the underage debate is silly to me.
Like an 18 year old having a 16 year old girlfriend is technically illegal but not generally a source of concern.
Interesting thread. With regards to the news link, who knows why they got together. The casual eye will go on base things like looks, but I expect its something deeper than that. The chap might have made her a good offer too, for if he's financially stable and she survives his natural demise, she will gain everything he owns. Since he's a senator, he probably gets lots of financial funds. Maybe his wife was an orphan, or maybe she has daddy issues, we can speculate, but only they know their business, and kudos to that unless you want to ask them.
On the wider issue of dating/marriage age, I think its very easy to say that you'll do this from this to that age, but life doesn't work by such rules. So long as the person is legal, and while many of us will impose true/false standards, its very possible that by limiting options, you could miss that person that might make your life special. That special person could easily be of different colour to you too, so don't discount those options either. If anything, the possible change in culture can be good for a person.
I'm single and in my 30's, but despite this fact, if I met a nice female younger than me, and we connected in a good fun way, I'd be a fool to dismiss her, because she doesn't tick all my perfect female boxes. In the U.K like Canada, 16 is legal, but I'd be more comfortable 18 and up. Early 20s adds more depth of character and life experience. I would be open to females older than me too, up to 45.
If you are a guy, and you have female friends/relatives, go and ask them what they see in older guys (when they are younger) and they'll enlighten you a bit. You'd be surprised the amount of females that look to date older guys when they are just in their late teens/ early 20s.
On the wider issue of dating/marriage age, I think its very easy to say that you'll do this from this to that age, but life doesn't work by such rules. So long as the person is legal, and while many of us will impose true/false standards, its very possible that by limiting options, you could miss that person that might make your life special. That special person could easily be of different colour to you too, so don't discount those options either. If anything, the possible change in culture can be good for a person.
I'm single and in my 30's, but despite this fact, if I met a nice female younger than me, and we connected in a good fun way, I'd be a fool to dismiss her, because she doesn't tick all my perfect female boxes. In the U.K like Canada, 16 is legal, but I'd be more comfortable 18 and up. Early 20s adds more depth of character and life experience. I would be open to females older than me too, up to 45.
If you are a guy, and you have female friends/relatives, go and ask them what they see in older guys (when they are younger) and they'll enlighten you a bit. You'd be surprised the amount of females that look to date older guys when they are just in their late teens/ early 20s.
Agreed. Some examples:konor77 said:
18=> 16-22
16=> 15-18
50=> 32-86
I think the strength of this rule is that the lower ages seem appropriate, and at later ages people have the capacity to choose, so if you want to date an 86 year old at 50, more power to you.
-Edit-
Loving 'the person and not the age' is shadey when referring to younger individuals. The age of consent is meant to set a level of maturity at which a person can make an informed choice. A number of youngsters out there want cars, firearms, relationships, but they aren't very familiar with the consequences.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_American_Man/Boy_Love_Association#Goals_and_positions
As long as both in the party are consenting and willing adults, there isn't much to say. Though one being older than the other to the point of being able to be their parent will ALWAYS give me the willies.
I am 24, and my husband is 30. Six years older. So...*raspberry*.
I am 24, and my husband is 30. Six years older. So...*raspberry*.
