Florion said:
But wait, allow me to explain myself.
I grew up in Toronto (I'm still there) with Asian people, white people, South-Asian people, black people and saw that their race had nothing to do with what kind of person they were. My beliefs are not racist. In theory.
None of this has prevented me from an unfounded distrust of black people. I have friends who are black, but I notice that I'm not nearly as friendly to them as I am to friends of other races who are just as friendly to me as my black friends. I feel myself forcing me to be open and friendly when, say, I end up in a casual conversation with a black guy at the corner store. I feel myself get uptight when a black person sits next to me on the bus. None of this is fair, but it's what I feel, not what I ought to.
I have found the same thing. But I also found it for natives. I grew up in Calgary, and I always referred to anyone without white skin as "peopel with brown skin" and one day at my elementary school I saw older girls who actually had black skin. I never heard a single thing about people's skin colour, and certainly nothing about everyone being in their own "race." There is only one race, the human race.
Then I went to Northern Alberta, and for my first year in boarding school it was fine, but then in grade 8 I heard a bunch of people start saying that they "hate Jews." I heard people say things which clearly showed contempt for natives. There was actually a person from Calgary there in grade 8 who had a Chinese mom, and I heard someone (one person) refer to him as a "half-*****." Apparently it's ok to be white or Chinese, but not not a "half-*****." Yikes.
Anyway, when I was in grade 10 a native guy from the North-West Territories was at my school, and though I sometimes thought of him as a completely normal person, someone who I liked far more than the other ass-tards at my school, sometimes I felt a lot of contempt for him. The reason? He was with that whole rap loving semi-gangster thing. At other times, he was wearing glasses and looked very intellectual, but then he wore those wretched jeans and did the side-to-side gangster walk, and I couldn't help but feel he was somehow a punk. Eventually I realised that everyone at my school was a punk, and concluded that I hated him the most for it because his skin colour made me notice his gangster antics more. That may not be wholly true, but it could certainly be a reason.
Still you're contempt for the people with black skin may not be unwarranted. It could be because of gangster culture and feeling like you're black, which pisses me off. The real test is if you don't like someone with black skin who is clearly very smart refined. Then you probably are racist. But it's not like that makes you a bad person if you no longer feel that at some point.