Poll: Is Not Dating a Certain Race Racist?

[Catrixa]

I realize the poll is messed up, but why wouldn't you have the right to a preference? Is it racist? By the colloquial definition used by many people on site (namely: you are discriminating based on race alone, consciously/unconsciously deciding a select number of races to be superior choices for dating), yeah, sure, racist. While the number of rights we still have is dwindling, the right to think thoughts about people based on race is still there. Is not dating someone because of race short-sighted, and possibly detrimental to personal development? Well, sure. But the right to that decision isn't going anywhere. No one is going to force anyone to date a wide spectrum of individuals if they don't want to.

Honestly, we need to be rid this idea that racist = horrible human => not worthy of consideration. Racism/sexism/whateverism is based in fear, and most importantly, ignorance. Trying to say "this shouldn't be racist," feels a lot like trying to say "math shouldn't be learned," to me. Maybe we should waste less time calling people stupid (racist), and spend more time teaching. Yeah, some people won't learn, but no one learns anything ever if all they get are insults. Well, except better insults.

 

[Flowen]

yes its racist.
if you refuse to date someone because of race you are a racist.

This answers it. And, end of topic.

To clarify further: if you don't want to date white/black/asian/etc people, it's not genetical. It's because it has been taught to you, or because you yourself, due to your life or your society, developed a prejudice.

Not wanting to date a guy of a specific race is a form of xenophobia.

If there's a cool guy who is smart and goodlooking and nice, I am not going to say "Welp, sorry.... you're black, I can't date you".

Well said. Have some claps:

http://assets0.ordienetworks.com/images/GifGuide/clapping/audience.gif

 

[LetalisK]

No, it's really not. Sexual attraction isn't something that can be easily changed, and the sex you're attracted to is pretty much set from day 1. Now, I know where a lot of you are coming from, but you're phrasing things incorrectly and making yourselves racist by association.

That's pretty much what everyone has said. So unless you think racial preference is uniquely malleable, I don't see what your point is.

"I'm not attracted to black people." That's a racist statement. "black people" encompasses such a huge variety of people that it's not really safe to make such a broad statement without there being some kind of racist undertone.

No, it's a general statement. Or rather, instead of assuming people are being definitively racist, I'm assuming they're using a general statement as people tend to do when discussing preferences. I find it especially difficult to believe those people couldn't make any exceptions based on such little given information and do not find it reasonable to interpret it that way.

"I'm not attracted to people with curly hair." That is not a racist statement. Not being attracted to certain features is a perfectly valid opinion to have, and you shouldn't be judged harshly for it. You're also not painting with nearly as broad of a brush as you are when using race as your defining feature.

So then why are you doing it? Or will you explain how racial preference is special from all the other preferences? Edit: Or perhaps you're not, but then this doesn't seem relevant to your previous point about people misphrasing what they're saying.

Editted to be less adversarial.

 

[baarserik]

No. It's not racist. Unless preference in the looks of your mate is somehow discriminatory now. Hasn't been for thousands of years at least.

Yes it IS. Choosing or not choosing SOLELY because of RACE is the very definition of RACISM.
It's just that maybe it doesn't matter that much. He can date whoever he wants. Primitive way to go about it, but hey, it's his private life.

I'm sorry, but isnt that kind of like saying that gay men hate women because they're not physically attracted to them?

 

[Stevepinto3]

I'm not sure if framing everything in the terms of racist or not racist really helps this discussion, because that already makes things pretty loaded and people tend to shift the discussion in weird ways. Even in the poll the second answer is already disjointed from the question. It shouldn't be about whether or not someone has the right to date/not date a specific race or behave in other racist manners, it should be about if or how that is problematic.

You have the right to be racist all you want. No one can lock you up for hating someone based on race/sex/gender/orientation/whatever (at least in most first world societies) otherwise neo-nazi hate groups wouldn't exist. So even if someone says they won't date someone of race X specifically because they're not attracted to that race, yeah that is basically racist , but they can still do so.

The real matter should be probing exactly why that is, and why it seems to be such a prevalent sentiment. I do think that attitudes like this are, well, not cool. From people I've talked to it's usually not something that seems backed up by a ton of thought put into it so much as a gut reaction. Being attracted to someone is one thing, but I find it strange how this particular distinction needs to exist at all. I can understand preference for hair color or eyes but I rarely hear "I refuse to date someone with brown hair". In fact most people with certain preferences for appearance admit that they will often look outside those particular traits they like, but somehow race is just the one line that people seem unwilling to cross. That is supremely bizarre and begs more thought be given to the matter than just a blanket justification of "ok do whatever you want".

 

[Jacques Joseph]

"I'm not attracted to people with curly hair." That is not a racist statement. Not being attracted to certain features is a perfectly valid opinion to have, and you shouldn't be judged harshly for it. You're also not painting with nearly as broad of a brush as you are when using race as your defining feature.

So then why are you doing it? Or will you explain how racial preference is special from all the other preferences?

"Having black skin" is a physical feature, one that black people tend to have (yes, I know, there are exceptions but that´s what they are - exceptions). Silly as it may be, someone may happen to be not attracted to it. That hypothetical someone should be able to say "I´m not attracted to black people" without being judged harshly for it.

I´m adding all these "hypotheticals" because a person saying things like this will, I think, more often than not, be racist; but not because of just saying this but more because of the thought processes behind that, i.e. they will usually refuse to go out with black people because they think they are all stupid, or junkies or fat or whatever which, of course, is racist.

 

[Flowen]

That's pretty much what everyone has said. So unless you think racial preference is uniquely malleable, you don't have a point.

"Racial preference" is malleable in that it's a learned prejudice and not a preference. As infants we seek parity in features to help with recognition, but after that there's really no excuse. I guess you could say "I'm not attracted to anyone who looks different from my general features" and it would mean you just hadn't grown up. My point is that racial preference is not the same thing as having a preference for a specific sex, and should not be treated the same way.

No, it's a general statement. Or rather, instead of assuming people are being definitively racist, I'm assuming they're using a general statement as people tend to do when discussing preferences. I find it especially difficult to believe those people couldn't make any exceptions based on such little given information and do not find it reasonable to interpret it that way.

They're making a racist statement regardless of intent. Yes, I understand that in most cases people are just being lazy when they say things like "I'm not attracted to X race." when they really mean "I haven't found a lot of people of X race that I find attractive, but there are surely exceptions.". The problem is that lazy dialogue like that fuels things like sexism or racism. By making a statement such as "I don't find x race attractive" when you don't really mean that adds support to the people who do mean it and are racists. Making a racist statement does not make you a racist, but it certainly helps those who are and builds a case towards you being one.

(Note I'm using an impersonal "you" in this. I have no idea about your personal tastes since I assume we're discussing hypothetically.)

So then why are you doing it? Or will you explain how racial preference is special from all the other preferences? Edit: Or perhaps you're not, but then this doesn't seem relevant to your previous point about people misphrasing what they're saying.

See point 1 at the top. Racial preference is a learned trait, not an inherent one.

 

[Carpenter]

If you are going to base who you fall in love with or who you are going to be with on what others think of you, yes it makes you racist. It also makes you sexist if you are a man or a woman that refuses to be with other men or women.

If being called racist bothers you, just do whatever you are told all the time.

If you want to be an individual, just try to do what you feel is right. If people call you racist, so what? It's a name, no different than kids calling someone a f***** in school. It only bothers you if you let it or if you care what they think of you to begin with.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

No. It's not racist. Unless preference in the looks of your mate is somehow discriminatory now. Hasn't been for thousands of years at least.

Yes it IS. Choosing or not choosing SOLELY because of RACE is the very definition of RACISM.
It's just that maybe it doesn't matter that much. He can date whoever he wants. Primitive way to go about it, but hey, it's his private life.

I'm sorry, but isnt that kind of like saying that gay men hate women because they're not physically attracted to them?

No. Not once have I mentioned hatred. People can like and dislike whatever they want for themselves, obviously. That their tastes are based, in this case, on race, is very, very technically racist. Just not that a big deal. Because, again, people can like and dislike whatever they want for themselves. I'm just defending the use of the word "racism" as technically accurate, in this scenario.

 

[kiwi_poo]

I love black bitches. Because dat ass.

OT: Yeah, it's racist, but not racist in a negative way so people should stop worrying about it and just like what they like.

 

[Headsprouter]

It depends on your reasons.

Racism's reason - Because whites are best, we must keep ourselves pure.

Mere preference's reason - I just like how white girls look more.

The same is true for any race. If a guy wants a particular girl for her skin, purely for how it looks, it's no different for going for dat phat booty or dem blue eyes.

 

[Hammartroll]

When I see a girl in my peripheral who's hot enough to make my eyes divert towards her, it's almost never a black girl, or at least I can't remember a case when it was a black girl. No hate against black girls, but when it comes to attraction they just fall into the backround, and if a black girl were to flirt with me I'd likely make it evident that I'm not interested. I have no other reason than it's an involuntary response, so I can't say it's racism. Any other race works for me, except maybe Middle Eastern. dunno why
I can't feel bad about it though because I'm not doing anyone any harm, unless I'm suddenly obligated to flirt back or something.

 

[FoolKiller]

No. It's not racist. Unless preference in the looks of your mate is somehow discriminatory now. Hasn't been for thousands of years at least.

Yes it IS. Choosing or not choosing SOLELY because of RACE is the very definition of RACISM.
It's just that maybe it doesn't matter that much. He can date whoever he wants. Primitive way to go about it, but hey, it's his private life.

By that argument only wanting to date a girl is sexist.

If you go by the dictionary definitions of racism then one version says that it is. I would argue that in personal preference you should discriminate with whichever criteria make you happy.

 

[Alfador_VII]

In the broadest definition of the word, then yes technically it could be considered racist. But I think that's pretty fatuous. It would be like calling someone sexist because they only dated girls (or guys)

So long as you treat everyone fairly in every day life, it's normal to have preferences in a partner, like height, eye colour, etc.

 

[Nathan Josephs]

yes it is racist. but its okay to be a sex racist. thats the only one thats acceptable.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

If a guy wants a particular girl for her skin, purely for how it looks, it's no different for going for dat phat booty or dem blue eyes.

Well, there is some distinction to be made between preference for, and preference against.

1. "Oh man! I love Blue Eyes!"
2. "Brown eyes? Get the fuck out!"

1. "Check out that booty! God I love a big booty."
2. "Your booty is 20% too small, step off *****."

As usual, peeps can have whatever crazed ass preferences they want. It's a free country, and no one can make you NOT reject someone for having blonde hair, or being too tall, or failing to meet their exacting nipple standards. There is always the possibility, though, that your preferences can leave you looking like a total asshole.

 

[Bluestorm83]

No, you're not a racist, that's moronic. I'm not sexist because I don't want to date MEN, I'm just Hetero. You get to be attracted to who or what ever you are attracted to. I'm not into Black girls. I'm not into Asian girls. I'm not into blondes. There are exceptions to these rules, but that's just what I am, or in this case am NOT attracted to.

Also, can we please stop tossing accusations of isms whenever someone says or does anything?

 

[Quadocky]

Simply put: Yes.

There are much more elegant ways to express your likes and dislikes and this whole obsession on the part of the man to 'find the perfect girl' is just fucked up.