Poll: Is Not Dating a Certain Race Racist?

[Smeatza]

I know a guy who won't date Indian ladies because his mum is Indian, there weren't many Indian women in his upbringing and because of that Indian women remind him slightly of her. A la why he doesn't want to have sex with them.
Is that racist? I don't think so.

 

[Smeatza]

Once starvation stopped being such an issue, the beauty standard changed to a much slimmer figure. It's only really been skinny recently, as recently as the 20th century, a fuller figure was considered beautiful. Certain actresses around WW2 come to mind.

I was under the impression it was the 19th century, the Victorian era.
The fashion of repression seeped into people's eating habits. One was expected to have the strength of will to say no to food and being skinny was a sign of this.

 

[Thaluikhain]

I was under the impression it was the 19th century, the Victorian era.
The fashion of repression seeped into people's eating habits. One was expected to have the strength of will to say no to food and being skinny was a sign of this.

I meant a fuller figure than the current rake-thin ideal. I think (not sure, though), that the ideal didn't go straight to being skinny, just got skinnier over time.

 

[The Enquirer]

It really depends on why you don't want to date that person. But in the end appearance isn't what's important in a relationship. I won't lie I'd take the better looking girl over the less attractive one if they had the exact same personality, but eve what type of body people find attractive is subjective to one's own opinion. I feel like racism is also very misinterpreted today. Take the Zimmerman case that happened fairly recently. For those of you who don't know what that is take a quick look (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting_of_Trayvon_Martin). If it was a black man who shot a white boy it would not have been a racism issue. The website blackpeoplemeet.com is no issue of race but if there was a website whitepeoplemeet.com people would be up in arms in it.

The concept of racism is very skewed today. I think in many cases simply rejecting someone for their skin color is wrong, just like rejecting someone for having certain colored eyes, hair, etc. I know there are a few exceptions but none are really coming to mind. If you just don't like the person then its no matter whatsoever.

 

[Piorn]

That's as if someone would accuse me of Sexism because I don't date guys.
If you're not attracted to people, you aren't.
I'm sure I'd miss out on great people and personalities, but so do I only dating one gender.

 

[Lucane]

As long as you don't say things like "I find all Asian women disgusting" then no. I mean, how is it any different from preferring one ethnicity over another? My good friend really likes Asian women. Their overall appearance is just more appealing to him, and he himself is not an Asian. So, is he racist then?

I sound a lot like your friend, no we're not racist but something that could be considered racist or blurring the line would be saying I only wanna date X or I could never see myself with a Y. You(As in a person in question of the issue.) might not actually have any other racial issues with them like working with them is fine or teaming up with them is okay. Not wanting to date someone for that reason wouldn't be as bad in my book as hating and/or not liking them because of the color of their skin for other reasons.

But not having read the original material the guy's opinion might be might be a correlation of black women = not well educated so do not apply? (Which would be a stereotype which would be racist)(again I'm just guessing at his intentions not condoning or supporting it.)

But if it was honestly just not appealing to him visually then posting it that way or at all is just idiotic.

 

[Bestival]

Well you're basically saying "All people from X race are the same, and so I won't date any of them." Such a broad generalization is very racist.

For more of these types of questions and answers, go check out: http://yoisthisracist.com/

 

[Lucane]

That's as if someone would accuse me of Sexism because I don't date guys.
If you're not attracted to people, you aren't.
I'm sure I'd miss out on great people and personalities, but so do I only dating one gender.

Sorry to nitpick but I think it'd be homophobic in that regard.

For the inconvenience about a topical comedic video from Harry Partridge?

Spoiler: Stephen The Lesbian

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCTbFN0EsDM

Hmm I seem to of forgotten how to post video links.

Edit: Oops

I forgot to mention that it doesn't make you homophobic but the term for the situation is homophobic.

 

[Saltyk]

I don't think it is. As long as you're not saying, "I don't wanna date X because they are inferior, disgusting, and less than human."

I don't really wanna date black girls myself. But not because I think black people are lesser. I'm just generally not attracted to black girls on the whole. I've seen very few black girls that I have actually found attractive. So, I suppose it is possible that I would date a black girl, I just don't see many that I would actually want to date.

I don't really think it's any different than saying that you don't like blondes or that you do like red heads. It's just a personal preference and honestly, you could always make an exception.

Would it be racist to say that you only wanted to date black people? I don't think so, for much the same reason.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

It's a bit foot in mouth but not inherently bad.

I guess a better way to word it would have been "A pale skinned girl would be my ultimate preference"... I guess?

Sounds better than "No nigga bitches" or whatever he's being painted as saying.

This is the guy being discussed in the OP. Here's some quotes from his AMA on Reddit...

?]romeorose -88 points 1 day ago
I am NOT racist. Just because I don't like the appearnce of black people does not make me racist. Just because I don't like a particular painting, does not mean I dislike the medium of Art as a whole!
But I will say this, Blacks do make up the majority of the inmates in the prisons in the country.
And I think it's White people that make up the majority of white collar executive types of positions in America. Probably more Whites are 1 percenters than there are blacks.
When I think of all of the classical composers like Mozart etc that were pure genius, I don't recall many of them being Black.
This is the 1st black president we've had so far and look what a horrible job he has done.
So in the grand scheme of things, it appears the scales are tilted in favor of Whites being the superior race, after all we weren't the ones that were enslaved workinf cotton fields for 40o years..
Just pointing out that history seems to show whites as always rising to the top and dominating all other countries and cultures and taking what they want and doing as they please, being the dominant, most powerful, most intelligent race....
I'm not saying I personally believe whites are superior to blacks, I am not a scientist, and I have not studied it to any great depth...
Just pointing out some observations.
But, again, for the millionth time, I may be a jerk, but I'm not a racist, there's a big difference.
My best friends are black and I have no hatred for them.

I am Romeo Rose. Ask me anything 9/24/13. Hope to see you soon. by romeorosein IAmA
[?]romeorose -233 points 1 day ago
Because when a woman has been with a black man, in my book that is ALMOST the same thing as beastiality, because black people look like apes, monkeys and gorillas. I don't mean any offense to Black people, but that's just the truth. You can't look at a black man like Ving Rhames and a gorilla and tell me you don't see some similarities. I am just speaking the truth and saying what MOST people truly think but don't have the courage to say.

Geez guys, I dunno. IS HE RACIST? I can't figure it out!

It's honestly ridiculous enough that it's most likely a prank or elaborate troll.

 

[Evil Smurf]

Yes, but It's okay if you don't find some people attractive.

 

[Alarien]

The simplest answer is "No."

If you are dating another person because you find them physically attractive (first and foremost), then there is a high likelihood that you are dating them based on your body's own chemically based preferences. Yes, attraction is partially, if not heavily, chemical in nature.

That said, if you aren't dating them because you find them to be some sort of "inferior human being," but you'd be willing to have sex with them anyway (a la 19th Century U.S. standards), then the answer is "Yes."

Myself, I simply do not find black women attractive, at all. Ever.

I can certainly admit that a black women is physically beautiful, even stunning. But my body looks at them and says "eh." That's not in my head and it's not my fault. I literally feel nothing "down there" or anywhere else. In fact, naked black women actually put me off, the same way that a picture of a naked guy does. There's nothing wrong with them (or naked guys for that matter), but I am just, simply, not interested.

Is that racist? Of course not.

Likewise, I am not particularly interested in most blonde women with only a few very rare examples breaking through and causing me to do a double take and, despite all my interest in Asian culture, not really all that attracted to Asian women (Meisa Kuroki excepted). Nor am I fond of particularly tall women, being only 5'8" myself. I am generally attracted to shorter white/hispanic women with darker hair. That's just what my body says "Yes, let's pursue that!" I have no control over it and it's not a mentally based racial choice. Thus, it is not racist.

In fact, I married a woman who fits the descriptions above.

 

[trlkly]

Yes, it's racist, because you are deciding ahead of time by race. People are not attracted to race. They are attracted to physical characteristics and character traits. When you say you are not attracted to ____, you are saying you think that all ____ have those bad characteristics. And judging someone ahead of time is prejudice, and prejudice due to race is called racism.

A non-racist would say they aren't attracted to, say, dark skin or big booties or something like that. They might admit that they've never been attracted to a black woman before, but they would not say that black women are not attractive.

BTW, the guy in question was not just blasted for his requirements, but how rude and self-entitled he went about listing them, as if dating him was some sort of cold interview.

 

[trlkly]

So, I suppose it is possible that I would date a black girl, I just don't see many that I would actually want to date.

The part I've quoted is what makes you not racist. Unfortunately, the original poster did not give this caveat, and the guy in question never said it. When you act like a jerk, like that guy did, people are more likely to not give you the benefit of the doubt in things like this.


And, note, the assessment was correct. Sure, that might have been luck, but you need to take that into account. If a certain statement can be correlated to you being a racist, then that statement is likely racist. I mean, if you noticed that all racist like to go around saying "Fluffy unicorns suck!" that would make it a racist statement. Ultimately, a racist statement is just a statement that identifies as likely being a racist.

 

[Hero of Lime]

As long as it's just a preference, then it's not racist in my book. I don't see anything wrong with a person being mostly attracted to another of their own race, as long as they won't outright object to dating any other race.

Saying you won't date a race because you don't like them, is the obvious racist thing.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

No. It's not racist. Unless preference in the looks of your mate is somehow discriminatory now. Hasn't been for thousands of years at least.

Yes it IS. Choosing or not choosing SOLELY because of RACE is the very definition of RACISM.
It's just that maybe it doesn't matter that much. He can date whoever he wants. Primitive way to go about it, but hey, it's his private life.

No it isn't. Just because you don't find a certain race attractive does not mean you are racist. I have black/Asian friends that I have known for over a decade, yet I don't date Black/Asian girls. I haven't found a single one that I find attractive. Does that make me racist? The obvious answer would be, "Of course not". Saying you hate a race, don't want anything to do with a race, constantly insult said race, that is racist.

Is too, man. Racism isn't about a positive or negative outlook, it's just a kind of outlook, period, based on race. And it's not necessarily a bad thing, good god. We can date whoever we want.

EDIT: And I hope I'm not coming across as baity or anything. Morally we're all holding the same ground, I think. I'm mostly arguing semantics. Choosing because race is racism. Because the word is so heavily and negatively charged everybody insta-balks at it ("I'm not racist! My friend isn't racist!"). It's not a good or bad thing in this scenario, because it involves personal taste, and within the boundaries of personal taste we're free to choose, and whatever we choose is right. So, not dating someone because of their race, is racist, and a bit silly, but then taste is capricious and there's nothing you can do about it, just as you can't be blamed for liking or disliking this or that sex. Limiting the rights of others, disparaging them and treating them however because race, now THAT is reprehensible. People have to get over this Voldemort reaction towards the word and start considering context.

 

[Thaluikhain]

If you are dating another person because you find them physically attractive (first and foremost), then there is a high likelihood that you are dating them based on your body's own chemically based preferences. Yes, attraction is partially, if not heavily, chemical in nature.

You'll note that there is a definite ideal form of beauty in our culture, and that this has changed over time. Ideas about attractiveness are not static.

Now, you can say that chemistry does play a part, but there's a lot more to it than that, and much of it is cultural.

 

[Charli]

It's...like many have said based on a few things... but never say 'you'll never be attracted to another person of X' skin tone. Because that's likely not true, you've just not met the one that triggers your attraction.

Honestly stating it is more racist than knowing it, if you've noticed a trend at not being attracted to a certain skin colour then just ... shuddup about it, you don't have to justify your likes and dislikes to anyone and if you're not attracted to someone, then you're not.


I mean personally... scruffy beards really turn me off. Am I a beardist!? ...Mmmm no.

This 'preference' just sadly overlaps with a long touchy subject of racial tensions and relationships. And social expectations and conformity.

So just keep it to yourself, because people will deliberately misconstrue your meaning.

 

[mrblakemiller]

Yeah. I do not buy the "I'm just not attracted to 'x race'" thing. You're saying on the whole that you cannot possibily be attracted to a person who shares any amount, big or small, of racial features from a pool of over one billion people? You seriously expect me to believe that? Besides, while a preference is something people innately have, and I cannot condemn that, preference as an excuse to blatantly discriminate is not cool. You would come off as hating on fat people if you said "no women over 160 pounds", wouldn't you?

Its a screening process, and they're using race as a standard. Hmmm, judging people before you've actually met them? I think there's a word for that. Judging people before you met them because of their race? There's a word for that too, if I recall correctly.

Well, the word ain't "racist," because that's HATING people or finding them inferior based on their race. And I don't think anyone has actually said anything that looks like "any amount, big or small..."

And not only that, but most everyone (especially, one would think, a self-identified feminist) would agree that the different races of the country have different cultures.

So instead of being racist you're just plain xenophobic then? Not really helping the case. Also, does everybody of that race in the country really share the exact same culture? Is a black kid growing up in Beverly Hills going to have the same experience as a black kid who grows up in Camden or the slums of Detroit?

You're not dealing fairly with the question. Most people don't have dating pools that include those in Beverly Hills as well as those in Detroit. You're much more likely to find, let's say, four women from two seperate races, all of whom were raised in the city in which you now live. When I got my Bachelor's in English Education, part of my required reading was an article about different cultural approaches to education and relaitonship with teachers. The article said that, tpyically speaking, white parents taught their children to look them in the eye when being spoken to, while black children were taught by their parents that direct eye contact was disrespectful. You mileage may vary on how true that is, but that's what the reading said. Furthermore, when there are such things as whites-only country clubs and Black Entertainment Television, yes, there are cultural lines that can be drawn between the races in America. In the end, a person of a certain race WILL identify differently from others to specific cultural markers. This is the logic people employ when they say no one but a black person can understand the pain of hearing the N-word, and if you're not willing to say that's wrongheaded, then you're admitting that there are some unique cultural features of being a particular race.

but perhaps you simply aren't attracted to certain racial aspects

Because everybody of a race looks the exact same way? Because there's zero chance of finding a single person in a group of over a b-b-billion people attractive? Like I said, preferences can exist, thats not a problem, but going so far as that is to discriminate based on appearance, particularly their race, hence racism. Somebody who is saying "I don't date black people because I don't find them attractive" is saying "all black people are ugly".

No, saying "I don't find that person attractive" is saying "I don't find that person attractive." I don't find Megan Fox attractive. I understand why other people do, but having heard the words that have come out of her mouth makes me sure I'd never want to make out with her. My brother thinks Megan Fox is hot, probably because he doesn't care about what she says or think as much as I do.

You're pulling another strawman here. No one ever said all members of a race look the exact same. But that's not necessary to affirm your non-attraction to them. If I say I won't date a blonde, I could be turning my back on all types of blonde hair: girls with blonde buzz cuts, girls with blonde bouffant hairdo's, straight blonde hair, curly blonde hair, etc. Maybe there's a girl with my favorite hairstyle, but she's blonde. If I'm die-hard against blondes, then she's still off the list. So every blonde girl doesn't look the exact same way, but they look enough like blonde girls that I am not attracted to them. IS a person who thinks that an asshole? I don't see why he would be.

In the end, I think it's stupid to call someone a racist if he or she doesn't have anything bad to say about a race, just finds other races more physically attractive.

Lets make a scenario. Whitey Straight McDudebro does not find a black girl attractive. He doesn't find another black girl attractive. He sees fifty more black girls, and does not find any of them attractive. What can be concluded? Its that he didn't find any of those 52 women attractive.

Whitey McDudeBro is told about a person who sounds like a good prospective partner, but is told about her race, and without even seeing her, says "no way I can be attracted to her because she's black". Thats treating somebody differently because of their race, period.

So? The United Negro College Fund giving a black kid a scholarship is "treating somebody differently because of their race." A casting call for a samurai from the year 1500 that asks that only Asian people audition is "treating somebody differently because of their race." That's not racism. That's simply acknowledging race.

 

[mrblakemiller]

It's a bit foot in mouth but not inherently bad.

I guess a better way to word it would have been "A pale skinned girl would be my ultimate preference"... I guess?

Sounds better than "No nigga bitches" or whatever he's being painted as saying.

This is the guy being discussed in the OP. Here's some quotes from his AMA on Reddit...

?]romeorose -88 points 1 day ago
I am NOT racist. Just because I don't like the appearnce of black people does not make me racist. Just because I don't like a particular painting, does not mean I dislike the medium of Art as a whole!
But I will say this, Blacks do make up the majority of the inmates in the prisons in the country.
And I think it's White people that make up the majority of white collar executive types of positions in America. Probably more Whites are 1 percenters than there are blacks.
When I think of all of the classical composers like Mozart etc that were pure genius, I don't recall many of them being Black.
This is the 1st black president we've had so far and look what a horrible job he has done.
So in the grand scheme of things, it appears the scales are tilted in favor of Whites being the superior race, after all we weren't the ones that were enslaved workinf cotton fields for 40o years..
Just pointing out that history seems to show whites as always rising to the top and dominating all other countries and cultures and taking what they want and doing as they please, being the dominant, most powerful, most intelligent race....
I'm not saying I personally believe whites are superior to blacks, I am not a scientist, and I have not studied it to any great depth...
Just pointing out some observations.
But, again, for the millionth time, I may be a jerk, but I'm not a racist, there's a big difference.
My best friends are black and I have no hatred for them.

I am Romeo Rose. Ask me anything 9/24/13. Hope to see you soon. by romeorosein IAmA
[?]romeorose -233 points 1 day ago
Because when a woman has been with a black man, in my book that is ALMOST the same thing as beastiality, because black people look like apes, monkeys and gorillas. I don't mean any offense to Black people, but that's just the truth. You can't look at a black man like Ving Rhames and a gorilla and tell me you don't see some similarities. I am just speaking the truth and saying what MOST people truly think but don't have the courage to say.

Geez guys, I dunno. IS HE RACIST? I can't figure it out!

It's honestly ridiculous enough that it's most likely a prank or elaborate troll.

I agree; he is racist. That's why I didn't mention him specifically. The other things he's said clearly paint him as a racist, but I wanted to know what others thought about just saying, "I won't date black women." I didn't want t obfuscate the issue.