Poll: Is Not Dating a Certain Race Racist?

[Agayek]

My entire point is that, within this context, you're wrong.

If you mean the context of the specific individual the OP is discussing, then yes, that is probably the case.

That's pretty meaningless though. It's one example out of the millions, if not billions, of others out there, and cannot be used as a meaningful statistic regarding the "level of racism" of similar statements.

I've already admitted, several times at that, that it can be motivated by racism. That doesn't mean it's an inherently racist sentiment. That would be akin to saying that not finding red hair attractive is an inherently racist stance.

I would hope I don't need to explain how ludicrous that is.

 

[BarrelsOfDouche]

Racist? Maybe...

Class is really more important. Making the blanket generalization that he doesn't want to date black women because he believes they all have the same problem with attitude/education/financial status/etc is definitely racist simply because you're prejudging an entire group based on stereotypes. Obviously there do exist black women who aren't like what he thinks they are...

Yet, at the same time it's hard to know if this is the case or it's just his personal taste in feminine aesthetics.

And, really, it's only other people's business if you go out and publicly say stuff like this in the first place. Any comment you post on the net is open to ridicule and criticism, and he shouldn't be surprised of the vitriol emanating from every corner of his monitor after announcing his exclusivity.

 

[EyeReaper]

Saying not wanting to date a certain race is racist seems like saying not wanting to date a certain sex is sexist. It's not like you got handed a character sheet when you hit puberty and get to pick and choose what you get attracted to.

 

[Silkavenger]

I don't think people realize how radically different individuals look even within a given race.

 

[The Almighty Aardvark]

I find it hard to believe that is racist to be more attracted to certain races than others, or on the flip side to be less attracted to certain races. If it is, then the only traits that you're permitted to value in terms of attractiveness (without being prejudiced) are those not commonly associated with a particular ethnicity. Even if you were absolutely intent on keeping 'racism' out of your sexual attraction, I would be surprised if anyone would be able to force their minds to completely disregard all of the traits that fall into those categories.

Also, what about accents? Would it also be prejudiced to let those influence your attraction to someone? While it's entirely possible for your sexual desire to be influenced by racism, like the person the OP mentioned, it seems at least as likely for them to be from completely inane reasons.

Although I'll say that while it doesn't need to be racist, it is almost definitely a fair bit shallow to not date people of a certain race.

 

[Silkavenger]

It's not racist to be attracted to a set of individuals who have similar physical qualities.

It is racist to extrapolate that out to an entire race without considering the individual.

 

[TKretts3]

Technically, yes, it is racism. You're choosing who you will date (Or, specifically, not date) based on the colour of their skin. However, I would not put this down as negative racism, since it's not only rather in consequential, but also seems not to be done out of malice. This doesn't seem like the kind of thing that would also make a guy hate, or treat badly, black girls.

It's certainly discrimination, but neither positive or negative, simply neutral.

 

[Insideout Ink Demon]

what if someone has never been turned on by a certain race. Would that be racist? No choice just not arroused

It's a matter of contribution. You can't separate the discussion from the impact. Saying "I don't like tomatoes" could be the same as saying "I've never found a tomato that I like, but it could possibly happen" which is the argument you're making. If there were no racists, that would totally be a fine argument to make as it would just be a linguistic shortcut. The problem is that there are racists who use that kind of language to be racist, so people who care about that kind of stuff need to be a little more careful in how they phrase things.

well put, i'll think on how i word it, if the subject were to ever come up again.

 

[Strazdas]

So people learn to sexualy prefer skinny/fat people too you think?

Actually, yes. It's only relatively recently that the ideal body shape (in the west) is skinny. A few hundred years ago, larger bodies were popular, because it showed you had enough money to have adequate food.

Once starvation stopped being such an issue, the beauty standard changed to a much slimmer figure. It's only really been skinny recently, as recently as the 20th century, a fuller figure was considered beautiful. Certain actresses around WW2 come to mind.

And what about people who like fat people? they dont subscribe the idea of skinny body. even i personally like a moderate woman and not the skinny types.
As for the liking fat, it was a means of determining richness and not sexual appeal though. were talking about sexual appeal, you cannot control that. if you find something sexy you will contnue to find something sexy unelss you get branwashed like in Clockwork Orange.

Im not talking about beaty standarts, im talking about personal sexual appeal.

No question it is learned. It may be learned subconsciously, through seeing your culture popularly acclaim people of a certain build as beautiful (or handsome), associating those traits with desirability, and then desiring it oneself. But it is undoubtably learned. What would the biological mechanism be for it otherwise? How would it be that people could find themself sexually attracted to one build, and then when they hit it off with someone who doesn't match that build, learning to be attracted to them despite not fitting their previously-held weight "ideal" if it was biological and not learned?

We should seperate biological sexual attraction from being able to befriend/like/love.
I do not care what ethniticity my friends are and i could love a black person, but i would not find them sexually attractive.

 

[sumanoskae]

Perhaps, but not necessarily in overt or hateful way. It's not malicious and it's your right, but the question wasn't "Is it morally acceptable to only be involved with certain races", the question was if doing so made you racist, and speaking psychologically, I'd say it's likely that rejecting the concept of having a relationship with someone solely based on their ethnicity is evidence of a belief (Even if it's subconscious) in some inherent difference between the races.

I say this because there are only a few reasons for not dating people of a certain race.

A previous negative experience that has resulted in emotional trauma that resurfaces in a manner relating to that particular race: This, I would not call racist; it has little to do with the race itself, it's just a psychological trigger, one you would probably be glad to be rid of.

A belief that certain races invariably embody certain traits: The issue here is that if a hypothetical person came along that didn't fit this criteria, racism is the only reason you would still adhere to this concept. If you believe that, say, all black people speak in a manner that you find attractive, but you later meet a black person who speaks in a way you do find attractive and you still won't even consider dating them, then their manner of speaking is clearly not the real issue; it's simply the fact that they're black.

A sexual preference for the appearance of one race or another: Now, I want to clear a few things up; first of all, I think such preferences will become increasingly obsolete as the borders between races become even blurrier than they already are, second of all is that I don't consider this racist in extreme examples; if you are absolutely disgusted by fair skin, it's perfectly understandable that you would avoid it in sexual relationships, but as I said, this is an extreme example, and I think the following is much more common.

Speaking personally, I'm a little put off by albinos, I don't find the condition attractive and honestly it unsettles me. Obviously I have nothing against albinos, simply because I don't find them attractive doesn't affect my opinion of them otherwise. But if I met a woman who was albino, but was an otherwise amazing person, the fact that she was albino wouldn't matter; I wouldn't let this tiny preference sabotage an otherwise happy relationship, it isn't that important. The point is, that it takes an issue you hold very close to your heart to overpower genuine affection.

If you would have otherwise fallen in love with somebody were it not for their skin color, it's more than just a superfluous preference.

I think that if you won't even consider a relationship with a certain race, if you're willing to immediately eliminate the chance of finding something as primal as affection in a specific race, that bespeaks a certain degree of racism. This doesn't make you a bad person, and you have every right to be with who you want. You aren't racist in a severe or consistently destructive way, but race is clearly important to you.

 

[sumanoskae]

It's not racist to be attracted to a set of individuals who have similar physical qualities.

It is racist to extrapolate that out to an entire race without considering the individual.

Well said

 

[Chaud]

I think there are two issues here.

The first:
There are different definitions of racism being used here in the topic. Just as there are different definitions of the word "discriminate". Discriminate can mean the act of creating distinctions without merit, separate people based on arbitrary characteristics that don't do justice to what is being demanded of them. Or it may just mean "separate" , "distinguish". One term is broader and the other more specific and yet there is a profound relationship between both of them, but they have distinct meanings.

What is happening here is that many are using the term "racism" as "separate by race", but using the connotation of "disparage a particular group of individuals, treating them as less capable or qualified just because of their race". Except that even though both are valid meanings for the word to some extent , we need to be careful not to confuse them.

We can say, for example, that "black-skinned people are less susceptible to sunburn" - and this is a distinction by race. That, technically , is "racism" by that definition, but that is not the definition of racism that many people have of the word. The mere enumeration or distinction of a certain characteristic present in a given group that can be expressed by their race should not carry the negative connotation of the term racism, albeit it's still a differentiation by race.

The second:
People feel that they have the prerogative to "require" the acceptance of a certain standard of beauty from others, while ultimately beauty is a subjective and personal experience. That reminds me, for example , of the advertising of certain feminist groups who say that "everybody is beautiful". "Every woman is beautiful". Well, if you really think so, great! But I digress. I will not say someone is beautiful just because you say it is. I will say it only if i think it's true, simple as that.

Speaking of me, I don't think that obesity is something beautiful. Regardless of social class, age, gender, sexual orientation or any other factor. I also don't think that very tall people are attractive . They may even be "beautiful" in a vague sense , but I do not find them attractive. I never felt physical attraction for a very tall woman. It may seem arbitrary - maybe it is, but it's what I feel. I do not know why I feel it, but have no obligation to fell in any other way. I'm not disparaging anyone by not seeing beauty in them, since my personal taste is not up to anyone but me.

In my case I have no restriction on the color of skin. But skin color is a human characteristic. Just as physical type, height, eye color, hair type, hair size, etc. It is perfectly fine that someone thinks black skin is something that isn't appealing. If you want to call that "racism", fine, then I could call my preference "fatism". But the mistake here is trying to give the "heavy/bad" connotation of the term to make the person feel that his act would be reprehensible for some reason when in fact it is not.

No, nobody is forced to find someone with dark skin beautiful. Neither white skin. Or tall. Or small. Nor someone with a big nose. Or with curly hair.Nor anything else possible in the face of the planet Earth. Attraction is something that one cannot judge. Soon, people will feel entitled to "require" that the others should feel attracted by them. What kind of world would that be?

 

[Petromir]

AS said it depends on things. Prejudgement is a big factor here. If you arent even judging the persons apperance/personality but making your judgements on what you expect then yes pretty racist.

With a lot of these isms that is the whole point. I tend to find a greater percentage of white women attractive than of most if not all other races, in Black women its often their nose that is skewing my view on how attractive they are, and unlike some features the nose's position make s it relatively difficult to ignore, especially if you find the smile and other facial expressions important in attraction. That said even if the nose shape is present there are some who I find attractive in spite of it, something about the way these ladies faces are arranged seems to overide the nose effect. It should be pointed out that features work in concert, and I've met people with close to the best 'insert body part here' I've ever seen, and great other bits butn the combined effect is rubbish, and people who I'd struggle to say any part was actually great but the effect is somehow amazing. (Which is why so many of those people pasted together from various celebs, even when they've tried to meld them together, usually arent as attractive as many of the women/men they were made from).

On a side note I find personality often attracts how I interpret certain features (in part this is pushed along by their own posture, body language etc), and so someone I like will often appear more attractive, and someone I dont less so. (Not always the case though theres a few women out there who i dislike intensly but this dislikes effect on their features seems to have enhanced them sooo much. Were I to be single and in type for one night stands I'd be tempted towards one of these girls as they fall into a small catogary of girls that I'd not want to spend more time with, but still find attractive enough.


An example in another area as to how to avoid being 'ist' is say you were recruiting a construction labourer from all the school leavers that year and you picked one girl and one boy from that list at random, statistically the boy is likely to be stronger than the girl, making a selction between them on that basis (even if bizairelly strength is your only critria)is sexist, since this bizaire selction process is now down to two you can easily test them to see if both are capable (and perhaps pay attention to additional criteria that are relevant). Even if your intial suspicions on them are true its the assertaining them thats the key deal here. Even where there is a correlation between race/sex/etc and the criteria you are legitimately judging on assuming is almost as racist/sexist etc as judging them on irrelevent things to the criteria.

 

[Flames66]

Well, yes it is.

But as long as you don't reject someone who's otherwise attractive entirely because of their race, it's a pretty harmless racism.

I personally don't want to cut my dating pool, so I'd never be that picky.

No I don't think that's racist. It's not saying "I hate people of this race", it's saying "I don't feel attracted romantically to people of this race".

I'm usually not attracted to Black women myself. I don't know why that is and I can think of several exceptions, but finding someone I'm attracted to from other races is far more likely.

 

[Harrowdown]

Yes, it is racist. He may not necessarily be a particularly vehement racist, but he's still making a blanket judgement about a certain group of people based on race. If physical attraction is really that important to you, and if you're not especially attracted to black women, fair enough. Nevertheless, his outright dismissal strikes me as bigoted. Could we maybe get a link to the guys webpage, and to the post criticising it? It would make it much easier to form an opinion.

EDIT: I'm pretty sure this is the guys webpage. Take a look at the section, 'About the girl I want'. Whether or not he is racist (and I still maintain that he is), he's completely definitely an unpleasant, misogynist ****.

http://www.sleeplessinaustin.com/

 

[Steven Bogos]

Depends on the reason:

"I don't want to date a black man because he probably will rape me with his monster cock and then steal all my stuff"

Racist

"I don't want to date a black man because I am only sexually attracted to fedora-wearing neckbeards"

Not racist

 

[MammothBlade]

Yes it is, it's technically racism, but this is one of the very few exceptions where it is acceptable. You can't help your sexual preferences. If you don't find certain races attractive, you just don't.