Poll: Is Not Dating a Certain Race Racist?

[Shadowstar38]

Jesus

You know, you should do a break down of every thread a few pages in. It would probably save people a lot of time.

If anyone else responds I'm just going to point to this post and the last paragraph.

 

[Hugga_Bear]

Technically yeah, it's preference based solely on race (or possibly stereotypes of that race). That's just what racism is.
Does it suck? Little bit.
Big deal? Not really. So long as you're going out of your way to be an arsehole to someone your little prejudices aren't that much of a problem, sexual preference is a big deal and not something easily changed. There are much more important things to worry about and bigger problems within the sphere of who we're sexually attracted to (we being universal) that should be challenged.

It is a shame though, like race matters. I find physical attractiveness derives from personality to a great extent, I can't imagine not being attracted to a blanket race any more than not being attracted to a blanket hair colour, it's just beyond my comprehension. If someone is interesting, smart, funny, kind and confident then I perceive them as more attractive and that's not a trait unique to me, it's pretty damned common. Black people (african american is such a fucked up method of describing a race imo) are no less or more attractive than white people or asian people. Disgustingly broad racial identities.

 

[magicmonkeybars]

If you're into a person but their race is what is keeping you from acting on your feelings then you might be racist.
If you're only attracted to white people or not at all attracted to white people, that's just preference.
Just like you're not a homophobe if you're not attracted to the same sex.

 

[scw55]

Not wanting to date someone of a certain ethnicity because of the ethnicity is racist and bigotry.

Not wanting to date someone of a certain ethnicity because 'it doesn't turn you on' is fair enough.

Technically you cannot rule out a whole group of people based on skin tone/nationality if you haven't seen everyone that is, has been or will be of that category. (Likewise you can't really say you're heterosexual/homosexual in till you've seen the everyone that is, has been or will be of the corresponding gender).

Ask yourself a question: "Are you a bigot?" when you say "I don't date Chinese people". Then perhaps rephrase it so it cannot be mistaken for being racist. Or if you are a racist, get some help. Work out why you are a bigot.

 

[Relish in Chaos]

Everyone has standards and preferences, though. I?m black, but I wouldn?t ever date a black girl because I?m not attracted to them, I wouldn?t want to conform to a stereotype, and perhaps subconsciously, it might remind me of my sister or something. Not to mention I?ve grown up in a city of predominantly white people, which is probably why I?m most attracted to white girls.

I wouldn?t date a Muslim, or a devout Christian, or any devout Theist, because I?m an Atheist Anti-Theist and I?ve had enough of that shit from my mother.

I mean, I guess I must be sexist and/or homophobic if I refused to date men, right? Perhaps I?m an objectifying transphobe because I have a fetish for transgender women?

Simple sociology, people.

 

[Soundwave]

I don't feel attracted to men, that does not mean I find them repugnant. I do not feel attraction to largely over or underweight women, that does not mean I find them repugnant. Attraction does have a very inherent nature to it (hell, that old adage "you can't help who you love" sort of is based in the idea). At a base level, if attributes of a person are something that have no attraction to, then that is not racism.
What you try to claim here seems to be presuming the motive of the person simply because it is easier to attack that way.

I'm using the word "repugnant" in the sense that it is the opposite of attraction. You're either attracted to something, feel nothing for something, or repelled by it. Any further coloration of the word is irrelevant. I'm not attacking anyone.

 

[dementis]

I just don't find the features of certain races attractive. I don't think finding certain features attractive makes you racist, hating someone for the features does.

Because all asians have small eyes and big teeth, all black men have huge lips and afros, amIrite?

Gosh, this thread is scary. Scary.

I'm not saying that, most races have minor physical differences that don't usually appear in other races. That in itself doesn't make them unattractive but some people will find those features don't match up to what they find attractive.

For example, the hair colour I find most attractive is Auburn. That hair colour tends to only naturally occur within Caucasians, now liking that hair colour the most doesn't mean I'm racist it's just what I find attractive.

I don't understand how you came to the conclusion that I was saying every race carries the stereotypical appearance just because I said there are features that tend to occur more frequently in one race more that the others.

 

[MaximumTheHormone]

If it's purely looks than maybe, MAYBE, it's not racist. Though it still makes a person genuinely shallow as hell. So there's really no positive outlook on this. You're either racist or shallow, pick which one is less worse I guess.

Its shallow to discriminate sexual partners by features which you find sexually appealing/unappealing?

 

[Easton Dark]

Yes, I'm saying that a person's choice in both gender and physical attributes is something engrained into them from birth.

That's not choice then.

In this very thread there was a guy earlier saying he didn't find non-natural hair colors attractive until he started watching anime, and I wont be going into this any further because this is a different argument from where our disagreement stems and it's for another thread, but suffice to say, Nature v Nurture is total bullshit.

 

[LetalisK]

And saying "nature vs nurture is bullshit" suggests to me that you never took psychology in school. It's the fundamental basis for the entire science of psychology and the human mind, it's not "bullshit". >_>

He is right, though, even you admitted it. Science pretty much acknowledges that "nature vs nurture" is a false argument and that it's "nature and nurture". I think that's what he meant.

 

[Belaam]

Racism:

: the belief that some races of people are better than others

So, I'm going to go with "yeah". I mean, it's essentially saying that if someone met every one of a thousand different qualifiers they were looking for, but the race did not match, they weren't interested. Kind of by definition that's racism. "When I discriminate by race, am I being racist?" seems to be the OP question. So, yeah, certainly.

 

[runic knight]

I don't feel attracted to men, that does not mean I find them repugnant. I do not feel attraction to largely over or underweight women, that does not mean I find them repugnant. Attraction does have a very inherent nature to it (hell, that old adage "you can't help who you love" sort of is based in the idea). At a base level, if attributes of a person are something that have no attraction to, then that is not racism.
What you try to claim here seems to be presuming the motive of the person simply because it is easier to attack that way.

I'm using the word "repugnant" in the sense that it is the opposite of attraction. You're either attracted to something, feel nothing for something, or repelled by it. Any further coloration of the word is irrelevant. I'm not attacking anyone.

ok I guess, that does seem more reasonable then. Still, even as you say here, it could just be the "feel nothing" option.

 

[runic knight]

Someone brought up the point that African-Americans have almost uniformly black hair. It is a trait of their race. If someone does not feel attraction to that trait, and if that trait is important enough to affect attraction over all, one could say that they are not attracted to black people in a way that is not racist (as it is not because of their race, rather, because of a trait their race just happens to have predominantly).

Of course, they would then have to say that they are not attracted to Asians, or Native Americans. It's so difficult to assign specific traits uniformly to an entire race, then turn around and say, "Therefore, I dislike (aesthetically) this race", that doing so will give the appearance of racism, intended or not. Easier to simply say "I dislike these traits" and leave it at that.

Oh I do agree there, don't get me wrong, I merely disliked the idea that he presented that people saying they weren't attracted to a race instantly was a replacement for something far more sinister or egotistical.
You are right though, would save a lot of hassle to just say "I don't feel attracted to this trait" then anything else.
Though, what if said trait is skin color? Obviously with the visual nature we use to mark races in the first place, that would be a bit of a hard way to present it as it is. At that point, saying "I don't feel attracted to this race" would probably have the same reaction from people as "I don't feel attracted to this skin color."

Yeah, not much you can do about it at that point, I suppose. Even saying "I only date people with white/pale skin" can come across the wrong way. Though I've never met someone who had a skin color preference who wasn't... morally questionable. Not saying it can't happen, just that it's kind of a rare thing to quibble over.

Possibly because of the instant stigma such a preference would probably get for being mentioned out loud. Myself though, I an not attracted to the orange color spray tans at all. Just looks so off to me. But I suppose it is because of that I can sort of see how the logic could apply. Maybe some people see black skin in the same way? Though yes, it is probably much more likely racist related when people say that sort of thing, so this point is more on an intellectual level as a possibility then a real defense of the guy in the OP.

 

[TheRundownRabbit]

This is very broad. I mean it really depends on the person, say if a person has a preference for women of a certain race, its not because he/she is racist, it's just that there are things people are attracted to. A gay man can't help that he is attracted to men and I can't help that I am attracted to Asian women over white women. Now if someone were to say "I'm not gonna date her because she's black." Yeah, that's kinda racist, but if someone were to say "I'm not really attracted to black women." Then I can't really call them racist. It's about perspective and preference.

I guess, technically, it is definition racism, but I dont think its socially considered racism. Kinda like how some people don't think dentists are really doctors.

 

[red_bedbug]

Not unless you aren't dating them specifically out of racist reasons... such as considering black people to be inferior.

But you should be perfectly free to not be attracted to black people... I don't find asians physically attractive, so I don't think I would ever date an asian person. Yet I lived in Japan for 6 years and had plenty of japanese friends... so yeah...

 

[Dreiko_v1legacy]

If it's merely appearance-based shallow type stuff (such as liking natural light blond hair) then it's fine. If there's no prejudice at play but merely your sensibilities acting as they should and if your personal sense of beauty is in charge, it's alright.

I will say that it is somewhat shortsighted though. I mean, I myself am not too fond of big fat mean black women with fake plastic hair or something like that but to generalize based on that is foolish. Not all of that group is like that. Someone like Halle Berry would be completely fine.



As for my personal preference, I tend to like girls on the paler scale simply because I happen to find blushing attractive. I like to see the redness shine through the skin, I think it looks beautiful. Light blue/green eyes are a good thing too. Based on that, I tend to find Asian girls or ginger/Irish ones most attractive.

 

[Tono Makt]

Nope, it's not. Sorry to all those political correct people out there, but this is just another case of "let's use words we don't really understand".
Racism describes a philosophy (and I guess here's where the first among you frown), after which a certain race is superior (or inferior, depending on your perspective) based on the fact they belong to that race.

That's it. If you say "all black people are thieves" then that's racist, since you imply a direct connection between being a criminal (a term usually connected with negative attributes) and their race. Same for the other side of the spectrum by saying "Only white men are fit to lead a company." (here you declare a set of positive attribute exclusively to white men, therefore denying those qualities to all other ethnicities and gender...s).

"I find all black people unattractive" however is - in and of itself- not racist. It's a preference of yours, a matter of taste. It might OFFEND people, sure. It's uncomfortable to hear someone say that you could never be attractive to him/her, no matter how hard you try. But unless you go on proclaiming that race's general inferiority, ineptitude or claiming that i.e. "one simply cannot be attracted to these people" you're not in the dreaded "racist"-territory.

Won't stop people from calling you that though.

Funny little detail at the end: If you'd consider the refusal to date a certain ethnicity (based on your personal taste) as racist, then following this logic, that would pretty much make every human who's NOT bisexual sexist.

So yeah, guess the message of the day is "Know your buzzwords."

Wouldn't it also make anyone who isn't dating someone of the same gender a homophobe as well?

OP: In a vacuum, it's not sexist to say "I won't date Race X." We all have our preferences, and those preferences aren't always our choice.

We don't exist in a vacuum. No one does.

In the real world if someone told me "I would never date an Asian." or "I would never date a white woman.", I'd make a quiet assumption that the person was racist. I wouldn't accuse them of racism based on that statement or sentiment alone, but I wouldn't give them the benefit of the doubt if they expressed more obviously racist sentiments. If the same person who said "I won't date Asians." said "Anime sucks.", I'd probably assume it was racism being that sentiment.

So "I won't date Race X." isn't the fire, it sure as heck might be smoke from a hidden fire.

 

[Vigormortis]

So my question is: Does not wanting to date people from a certain race or races make you racist?

If you don't want to date them because of their race, then yes. That's the very definition of racism.

Anyone saying otherwise is lying to themselves.

This is not to say one can't have preferences in who they date. So long as those preferences aren't destructive or detrimental in some way then they are perfectly fine. Everyone's welcome to their own choices. So if you only want to date blond haired, blued eyed, tall girls then that's fine. That doesn't make you racist.

However, actively avoiding some form of interaction with someone because of their race is very much racism. I.E. prejudicial thoughts and opinions about someone based solely on their race.

You don't have have to be ignorantly violent towards someone of a specific race to have racist thoughts and opinions.

 

[Andothul]

Yes and no. Attraction in humans is tricky thing and influenced by immeasurable factors.

I think the thing people get upset at when people say for example : "I don't find Black girls attractive." is that by saying that you generalize all black girls as unattractive to you even though you have not met or gotten to know every single black girl. How do you know there wont be one down the road that you are attracted to?

Personally when I hear people say those things about any group of people I laugh because it's just being untruthful with yourself and limiting yourself in options. Initial attraction is governed by looks and other superficial information about the person but long lasting attraction and love depends far more on how you feel and interact with that person and their looks may not even matter.

Studies have clearly shown that the more you like or love the person the more attractive they become to you. This is why long lasting husbands and wives see each other as the most beautiful people on the planet in each others eyes and they sincerely mean it.

I am black and I can't tell you how many times I've been told by some girls (mostly white) that they couldn't date a black guy only to have them pull a 180 after having gotten to know me.

So do I think people who wont date a certain race or ethnicity are racist in the potent conventional sense? No most likely not, everyone has preferences that a influenced by uncountable things but I do think by saying that you very much limit yourself.

 

[LetalisK]

Yes and no. Attraction in humans is tricky thing and influenced by immeasurable factors.

I think the thing people get upset at when people say for example : "I don't find Black girls attractive." is that by saying that you generalize all black girls as unattractive to you even though you have not met or gotten to know every single black girl. How do you know there wont be one down the road that you are attracted to?

You answered your own question. A general statement does not require omniscience on the subject and implies the possible existence of exceptions.

Edit: Also, I think is is extremely relevant to the thread. >.>