Vigormortis said:If you don't want to date them because of their race, then yes. That's the very definition of racism.lacktheknack said:So my question is: Does not wanting to date people from a certain race or races make you racist?
rac·ism
/ˈrāˌsizəm/
Noun
The belief that all members of each race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race, esp. so as to distinguish it as...
Prejudice or discrimination directed against someone of a different race based on such a belief.
Synonyms
racialism
I guess so. I went with "sexist" because it's more general.Tono Makt said:Wouldn't it also make anyone who isn't dating someone of the same gender a homophobe as well?Headbiter said:Nope, it's not. Sorry to all those political correct people out there, but this is just another case of "let's use words we don't really understand".
Racism describes a philosophy (and I guess here's where the first among you frown), after which a certain race is superior (or inferior, depending on your perspective) based on the fact they belong to that race.
That's it. If you say "all black people are thieves" then that's racist, since you imply a direct connection between being a criminal (a term usually connected with negative attributes) and their race. Same for the other side of the spectrum by saying "Only white men are fit to lead a company." (here you declare a set of positive attribute exclusively to white men, therefore denying those qualities to all other ethnicities and gender...s).
"I find all black people unattractive" however is - in and of itself- not racist. It's a preference of yours, a matter of taste. It might OFFEND people, sure. It's uncomfortable to hear someone say that you could never be attractive to him/her, no matter how hard you try. But unless you go on proclaiming that race's general inferiority, ineptitude or claiming that i.e. "one simply cannot be attracted to these people" you're not in the dreaded "racist"-territory.
Won't stop people from calling you that though.
Funny little detail at the end: If you'd consider the refusal to date a certain ethnicity (based on your personal taste) as racist, then following this logic, that would pretty much make every human who's NOT bisexual sexist.
So yeah, guess the message of the day is "Know your buzzwords."
OP: In a vacuum, it's not sexist to say "I won't date Race X." We all have our preferences, and those preferences aren't always our choice.
We don't exist in a vacuum. No one does.
In the real world if someone told me "I would never date an Asian." or "I would never date a white woman.", I'd make a quiet assumption that the person was racist. I wouldn't accuse them of racism based on that statement or sentiment alone, but I wouldn't give them the benefit of the doubt if they expressed more obviously racist sentiments. If the same person who said "I won't date Asians." said "Anime sucks.", I'd probably assume it was racism being that sentiment.
So "I won't date Race X." isn't the fire, it sure as heck might be smoke from a hidden fire.
Someone may have said this already but there is a distinction between 'racial discrimination' (i.e. noting differences between 'races') and 'racism' (which assumes racial discrimination, but also evaluates *races* as some better than others).Johnny Novgorod said:Yes it IS. Choosing or not choosing SOLELY because of RACE is the very definition of RACISM.Shadowstar38 said:No. It's not racist. Unless preference in the looks of your mate is somehow discriminatory now. Hasn't been for thousands of years at least.
It's just that maybe it doesn't matter that much. He can date whoever he wants. Primitive way to go about it, but hey, it's his private life.
Oh yeah. I've gotten that from White men. A lot of Black women that I know have gotten that from White men as well. The same with Indian and Latina women. Most of the time it's because they haven't met many Black people who they share common interests with (mostly because they grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood.) So one never knows who they may find attractive, but a word of caution to any White guy who suddenly finds themselves attracted to a woman of another race. Please don't mention how you normally don't find (insert race here) attractive. I know you are shocked and intrigued by such a discovery, but its just tiresome, and more likely to make her wary of you rather than more interested. Trust me...depending on her age she has either heard it far too often than she would like (To the point that she's waiting for it to happen, and she will gossip about you with her friends, and they will all laugh at how sheltered you must be.) I'd also like to add in two more things to avoid that are often said to non White women "You're pretty for a (insert race here)." Or "Your pretty for a dark skinned girl." because it implies that she is only pretty despite her race and/or skin tone. It's a backhanded complement. You're attempting to praise an individual, but at the same time you are putting down everyone else within her race and generalizing members of her race. Just call the girl pretty without random racial quantifiers, and she won't think that you have a problem with her race.Andothul said:I am black and I can't tell you how many times I've been told by some girls (mostly white) that they couldn't date a black guy only to have them pull a 180 after having gotten to know me.
Quoted for truth...beamofarael said:As a black woman, a Yahtzee fan, and a long time lurker of Escapist forums (as well as other similar forums; I'm trying my best to spend as less time on the internet as possible these days), I try my best to avoid these sort of topics because they tend to bring out the ugly of people and hold little value. I would probably answer, yes and no, to a degree. Yes, because one has not met every single black woman on earth. Therefore, you lump all or most of them into the ugly box by default, which is pretty wrong. However, attraction-wise, no, because it could be a matter of location, experiences, lack of exposure and/or etc that could have hindered this. However, I can't help but notice a trend in these forums (particularly those associated with gaming, nerd culture etc mostly white or Asian male dominated) stating how they would date ANY race or attracted to EVERY race except black. It's always I've "never been attracted to black women" or "it's just my preference, and black women are not one of them" . It doesn't hurt me (because I honestly could not care less what makes one dick go up, and people like what they like I can't change that), but sometimes I can't help wonder to why that is?
Some would say it's their features--which I find hilarious. If you've ever visited any country in Africa or seen pictures of women from different African ethnic groups one would see a variety of features. From big noses to small noses to hooked noses, wide eyes to narrow, voluptuous to slim petite figures. I think people often have this "one-size-fits all" idea when it comes to people of African descent (you could say this happens to every race; however, it is still not the best way to go about things).
It could be a matter of location. I remember thinking that I would never have slightest attraction to [insert race here]. Then I've met more like minded people, went to a university, traveled more, and realized how wrong I was.
For black men who have seen black women for "all their lives" could be a combination of things (boredom, lack of positive exposure, bad experiences, etc). Yet, just because they have been around black women (sisters, mother, aunts) for all their lives, doesn't necessarily translate into being around EVERY black woman for all their lives (maybe you just have an ugly family? Jk hahaha). Your family, city, school is just a micro to the macro.
Then we have the media (which could also go into location), where we are often seen as sex objects with an army's amount of children from multiple "baby daddies" or overweight strong-black-independent-neck-rollin'-don't-need-no-man man eating machines ready to chew you up and spit you out. Good luck trying to find a black woman who doesn't hold these stereotypes or portrayed as desirable on a popular show (Dee, from BSG? But she didn't have much of a character. Kerry Washington from Scandal maybe? (I've never watched Scandal before)). I was about to set account just to say in this thread, "In before the 'I'm not attracted to black women because it's my preference' posts". These threads tend to get old real quick, and usually contain little perspective from the person being singled out or "discriminated" against. So I thought I would be someone to add some sort of dimension to the thread instead of the back and forth "you're racist, you're not racist" argument. (I could even make a similar statement about Latinas, since the way Latin culture treats race is far different from what many are used to . Also many Latinas could look black, white, or in between. They do not always look like Jessica Alba, J.Lo or Michelle Rodriguez, but that's another can of worms.))
To be quite honest, you will never know where your attraction will lead you. I have gay friends who even felt attracted to a female at some point in their lives. Attraction is abstract, I wouldn't go as far to say one's attraction is racist, but they definitely shouldn't limit what their attraction truly is. It's a journey, but your journey, not mine's. If someone finds themselves truly not attracted to black women or women of dark complexion so be it. Less time wasted from the both of us.
Those are my 2 cents, and I'll get back to lurking.