Poll: Is Not Dating a Certain Race Racist?

Dryk

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I love how this thread completely ignores that the guy the OP is referring to also said that he wouldn't date anyone who has had sex with a black man because black men look too much like gorillas and that's way too close to beastiality. Dude's racist.
 

dystopiaINC

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Well for starters I can tell you that I personally find Asian women and redheads attractive. I just find those feature good looking, I mean a Ginger Asian girl would blow me away.

But I do not find Black or Latino attractive, I don't have a particular reason, I just don't look at Latino girls and think "wow she's good looking" and I will tell you though I personally have several friends that are Latino and Black women I'm Just not interested. it might help that I have yet to meet a black/Latino girl my age (20) with out kids yet but I don't know. Never been interested, can't say that wouldn't change if a met a particular girl.

I don't think being open about not finding a particular race unattractive is racist. it's about your personal subjective view of what YOU PERSONALLY find sexually attractive. Don't judge, some people like Asian girls, others or more interested in feet or legs or anything else that get your hormones going.
 

Soviet Steve

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Depends on your reasoning. If it is because of an expectation of inferior offspring then it would be a racist argument. If it is purely aesthetics then it's in the realm of the subjective.
 

TelHybrid

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I don't think so. Everyone has a type. Some people prefer redheads over blondes. Some people prefer certain body sizes and shapes. Why should the physical traits based on race be any different?

You don't have to be attracted to a certain race to accept and respect them.
 

Stu35

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Is not wanting to date someone of the same sex is homophobic?

Of course not.

People are entitled to whatever relationship preferences they want. Simple as.


Vigormortis said:
lacktheknack said:
So my question is: Does not wanting to date people from a certain race or races make you racist?
If you don't want to date them because of their race, then yes. That's the very definition of racism.

Hmmm... Nope. (And before you start, I did read the rest of your post and I do realise that this quote is out-of-context and does not properly apply the spirit of your post. This lends irony to my final statement at the bottom, which I like).

This is the definition of racism:


rac·ism
/ˈrāˌsizəm/
Noun
The belief that all members of each race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race, esp. so as to distinguish it as...
Prejudice or discrimination directed against someone of a different race based on such a belief.
Synonyms
racialism


I'm not pre-judging or discriminating against a black woman because I don't want to go out with her. I'm simply not attracted to black women. I can't help that any more than I can help not being attracted to other men, horses, or Dawn French.

Well... I do suppose you COULD argue I AM discriminating against all those people on that basis, which would then make me a homophobe, zoophobe and a cacomorphobe.

Meanwhile, every woman who has refused to date me is also undoubtedly a "stu-phobe" ... Discriminatory bitches!

...

So, meh, maybe you are right, but it ignores the common-sense spirit of the word. A lack of common sense when applying rules is one of my major bugbears in life.
 

Headbiter

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Tono Makt said:
Headbiter said:
Nope, it's not. Sorry to all those political correct people out there, but this is just another case of "let's use words we don't really understand".
Racism describes a philosophy (and I guess here's where the first among you frown), after which a certain race is superior (or inferior, depending on your perspective) based on the fact they belong to that race.

That's it. If you say "all black people are thieves" then that's racist, since you imply a direct connection between being a criminal (a term usually connected with negative attributes) and their race. Same for the other side of the spectrum by saying "Only white men are fit to lead a company." (here you declare a set of positive attribute exclusively to white men, therefore denying those qualities to all other ethnicities and gender...s).

"I find all black people unattractive" however is - in and of itself- not racist. It's a preference of yours, a matter of taste. It might OFFEND people, sure. It's uncomfortable to hear someone say that you could never be attractive to him/her, no matter how hard you try. But unless you go on proclaiming that race's general inferiority, ineptitude or claiming that i.e. "one simply cannot be attracted to these people" you're not in the dreaded "racist"-territory.

Won't stop people from calling you that though.

Funny little detail at the end: If you'd consider the refusal to date a certain ethnicity (based on your personal taste) as racist, then following this logic, that would pretty much make every human who's NOT bisexual sexist.

So yeah, guess the message of the day is "Know your buzzwords."
Wouldn't it also make anyone who isn't dating someone of the same gender a homophobe as well?

OP: In a vacuum, it's not sexist to say "I won't date Race X." We all have our preferences, and those preferences aren't always our choice.

We don't exist in a vacuum. No one does.

In the real world if someone told me "I would never date an Asian." or "I would never date a white woman.", I'd make a quiet assumption that the person was racist. I wouldn't accuse them of racism based on that statement or sentiment alone, but I wouldn't give them the benefit of the doubt if they expressed more obviously racist sentiments. If the same person who said "I won't date Asians." said "Anime sucks.", I'd probably assume it was racism being that sentiment.

So "I won't date Race X." isn't the fire, it sure as heck might be smoke from a hidden fire.
I guess so. I went with "sexist" because it's more general.

As to the rest, even outside of that vacuum it's not really racist.
Well...okay, it depends on the context and the extent of that comment.

Here's the thing: When we use the term "Africans", "Asians" (funny term btw. considering how in common usage it excludes half the population of Asia), etc. in terms of attractiveness, it has less to do with nationality but more with distinct biological features that are more or less common for that race. Deny the existence of different human races all you like but it's no coincidence that f.e. in forensics it's possible to determine a person's general heritage just by looking at a skull.
And these distinctions carry over to our appearance which in turn carries over to how attractive we appear to other people. And someone who finds i.e. the narrow eyes of a Japanese woman unappealing might be good friends with her...but probably won't be attracted physically to her.

Just as I could never be attracted to the overweighted bearded guy who's the storyteller of my RPG-group.

Addendum: Just clicked something, concerning this whole "Well, it depends on why precisely you don't want to date someone of [race]."
Just thought about it...if someone would rely deny dating someone not because of aforementioned distinctions but simply because he/she is from this and that ethnicity...

why would that person draw the line at "dating"? Wouldn't a racist person pretty much deny all interaction that doesn't involve shouting, humiliating and violence? Would be kinda odd to even consider dating, if you're racist, right?
 

beamofarael

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As a black woman, a Yahtzee fan, and a long time lurker of Escapist forums (as well as other similar forums; I'm trying my best to spend as less time on the internet as possible these days), I try my best to avoid these sort of topics because they tend to bring out the ugly of people and hold little value. I would probably answer, yes and no, to a degree. Yes, because one has not met every single black woman on earth. Therefore, you lump all or most of them into the ugly box by default, which is pretty wrong. However, attraction-wise, no, because it could be a matter of location, experiences, lack of exposure and/or etc that could have hindered this. However, I can't help but notice a trend in these forums (particularly those associated with gaming, nerd culture etc mostly white or Asian male dominated) stating how they would date ANY race or attracted to EVERY race except black. It's always I've "never been attracted to black women" or "it's just my preference, and black women are not one of them" . It doesn't hurt me (because I honestly could not care less what makes one dick go up, and people like what they like I can't change that), but sometimes I can't help wonder to why that is?

Some would say it's their features--which I find hilarious. If you've ever visited any country in Africa or seen pictures of women from different African ethnic groups one would see a variety of features. From big noses to small noses to hooked noses, wide eyes to narrow, voluptuous to slim petite figures. I think people often have this "one-size-fits all" idea when it comes to people of African descent (you could say this happens to every race; however, it is still not the best way to go about things).

It could be a matter of location. I remember thinking that I would never have slightest attraction to [insert race here]. Then I've met more like minded people, went to a university, traveled more, and realized how wrong I was.

For black men who have seen black women for "all their lives" could be a combination of things (boredom, lack of positive exposure, bad experiences, etc). Yet, just because they have been around black women (sisters, mother, aunts) for all their lives, doesn't necessarily translate into being around EVERY black woman for all their lives (maybe you just have an ugly family? Jk hahaha). Your family, city, school is just a micro to the macro.

Then we have the media (which could also go into location), where we are often seen as sex objects with an army's amount of children from multiple "baby daddies" or overweight strong-black-independent-neck-rollin'-don't-need-no-man man eating machines ready to chew you up and spit you out. Good luck trying to find a black woman who doesn't hold these stereotypes or portrayed as desirable on a popular show (Dee, from BSG? But she didn't have much of a character. Kerry Washington from Scandal maybe? (I've never watched Scandal before)). I was about to set account just to say in this thread, "In before the 'I'm not attracted to black women because it's my preference' posts". These threads tend to get old real quick, and usually contain little perspective from the person being singled out or "discriminated" against. So I thought I would be someone to add some sort of dimension to the thread instead of the back and forth "you're racist, you're not racist" argument. (I could even make a similar statement about Latinas, since the way Latin culture treats race is far different from what many are used to . Also many Latinas could look black, white, or in between. They do not always look like Jessica Alba, J.Lo or Michelle Rodriguez, but that's another can of worms.))

To be quite honest, you will never know where your attraction will lead you. I have gay friends who even felt attracted to a female at some point in their lives. Attraction is abstract, I wouldn't go as far to say one's attraction is racist, but they definitely shouldn't limit what their attraction truly is. It's a journey, but your journey, not mine's. If someone finds themselves truly not attracted to black women or women of dark complexion so be it. Less time wasted from the both of us.

Those are my 2 cents, and I'll get back to lurking.
 

Kevlar Eater

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I'd say yes and no. No point in mimicking the myriad of responses that have used that phrase.

But you guys can continue to limit yourselves to those with shades lighter than a paper bag. I'll keep my options open for any ethnicity/race, assuming any one of them wants a thing to do with me.
 

TWRule

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Johnny Novgorod said:
Shadowstar38 said:
No. It's not racist. Unless preference in the looks of your mate is somehow discriminatory now. Hasn't been for thousands of years at least.
Yes it IS. Choosing or not choosing SOLELY because of RACE is the very definition of RACISM.
It's just that maybe it doesn't matter that much. He can date whoever he wants. Primitive way to go about it, but hey, it's his private life.
Someone may have said this already but there is a distinction between 'racial discrimination' (i.e. noting differences between 'races') and 'racism' (which assumes racial discrimination, but also evaluates *races* as some better than others).

Someone who says 'I won't date black girls', *may* be racist, if they are saying that because they have first distinguished a black 'race' and evaluated them poorly relative to others - but that's not necessarily the case. If someone does it based on aesthetics, but happens to correlate certain aesthetic features with certain 'races', they could be called racially discriminatory, but if they are evaluating the aesthetic features and not the 'race' itself, they would not necessarily be 'racist'. Whether racial discrimination is always bad in itself, or as bad as racism is a separate topic.

So no, expressing dating preferences in terms of 'race' is not necessarily racist (though it can still be pretty shallow).
 

Sleepy Sol

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Do you generally choose what you are attracted to? If you believe that you don't then I don't see why attraction (or lack thereof) to specific races is a racist idea.
 

Primal0843

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you cant choose whom you find attractive, racism is to make a conscious choice not to date them because they are of a particular race.
 

ATRAYA

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It really depends on your reasoning. Back when I was heterosexual, I preferred small, narrow noses. A large portion of black women have flatter, wider noses, thus making them not as attractive to me. But my choice was based on a nasal structure that has a tendency to occur more in black people than other races. If a black woman had a nose I found attractive, I would've dated her (assuming all necessary hypothetical prerequisites, i.e.: I find other parts of her attractive, she is single, etcetera).

Some people on here seem to consider this as still being racist for some reason...
 

The Material Sheep

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I'm really really picky about hair in the women I date. Women of african descent tend to have a certain style of hair. I don't find it attractive or appealing. Not the black skin, or the race. Just the looks of the hair and it's texture. I also tend to dislike really curly hair.

There are certain aesthetic features typical to certain genetic backgrounds. That's just basic biology. All people have subjective aesthetic tastes that if you dig deep enough might have a psychological background, but its hardly ever anything malicious. To argue someone is racist or immoral for their aesthetic tastes is a kin to arguing someone is wrong for being attracted to men or women. It's absurd. If you like the general aesthetics most associated with the physiological features of women or men of asian descent. By all means, that's your choice and your welcome to it. If you don't like the typical features associated with those of indian descent, as in India, than your by all means within your right to not date an Indian man or woman. Nothing wrong with that. Your not going to find everyone attractive, and shouldn't feel bad about it.

So long as you aren't dating someone of a certain race, because you think less of that race in question, it's fine. It's just a matter of subjective personal taste.
 

LegendaryVKickr

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Ehh, I've always dated whoever I was attracted to. This has included an Asian, a Jew, and a Native American. I've never had any attraction to black people. Do I think I'm racist? Not at all. I'm not attracted to men either. Does that make me anti-gay?

In other words, as long as I don't date them because I'm not attracted to them, I see nothing wrong. It's just not my cup of tea is all. Only if the reasoning is racist (example: black people are the devil, etc whatever) is there something wrong with it.
 

mecegirl

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Andothul said:
I am black and I can't tell you how many times I've been told by some girls (mostly white) that they couldn't date a black guy only to have them pull a 180 after having gotten to know me.
Oh yeah. I've gotten that from White men. A lot of Black women that I know have gotten that from White men as well. The same with Indian and Latina women. Most of the time it's because they haven't met many Black people who they share common interests with (mostly because they grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood.) So one never knows who they may find attractive, but a word of caution to any White guy who suddenly finds themselves attracted to a woman of another race. Please don't mention how you normally don't find (insert race here) attractive. I know you are shocked and intrigued by such a discovery, but its just tiresome, and more likely to make her wary of you rather than more interested. Trust me...depending on her age she has either heard it far too often than she would like (To the point that she's waiting for it to happen, and she will gossip about you with her friends, and they will all laugh at how sheltered you must be.) I'd also like to add in two more things to avoid that are often said to non White women "You're pretty for a (insert race here)." Or "Your pretty for a dark skinned girl." because it implies that she is only pretty despite her race and/or skin tone. It's a backhanded complement. You're attempting to praise an individual, but at the same time you are putting down everyone else within her race and generalizing members of her race. Just call the girl pretty without random racial quantifiers, and she won't think that you have a problem with her race.

beamofarael said:
As a black woman, a Yahtzee fan, and a long time lurker of Escapist forums (as well as other similar forums; I'm trying my best to spend as less time on the internet as possible these days), I try my best to avoid these sort of topics because they tend to bring out the ugly of people and hold little value. I would probably answer, yes and no, to a degree. Yes, because one has not met every single black woman on earth. Therefore, you lump all or most of them into the ugly box by default, which is pretty wrong. However, attraction-wise, no, because it could be a matter of location, experiences, lack of exposure and/or etc that could have hindered this. However, I can't help but notice a trend in these forums (particularly those associated with gaming, nerd culture etc mostly white or Asian male dominated) stating how they would date ANY race or attracted to EVERY race except black. It's always I've "never been attracted to black women" or "it's just my preference, and black women are not one of them" . It doesn't hurt me (because I honestly could not care less what makes one dick go up, and people like what they like I can't change that), but sometimes I can't help wonder to why that is?

Some would say it's their features--which I find hilarious. If you've ever visited any country in Africa or seen pictures of women from different African ethnic groups one would see a variety of features. From big noses to small noses to hooked noses, wide eyes to narrow, voluptuous to slim petite figures. I think people often have this "one-size-fits all" idea when it comes to people of African descent (you could say this happens to every race; however, it is still not the best way to go about things).

It could be a matter of location. I remember thinking that I would never have slightest attraction to [insert race here]. Then I've met more like minded people, went to a university, traveled more, and realized how wrong I was.

For black men who have seen black women for "all their lives" could be a combination of things (boredom, lack of positive exposure, bad experiences, etc). Yet, just because they have been around black women (sisters, mother, aunts) for all their lives, doesn't necessarily translate into being around EVERY black woman for all their lives (maybe you just have an ugly family? Jk hahaha). Your family, city, school is just a micro to the macro.

Then we have the media (which could also go into location), where we are often seen as sex objects with an army's amount of children from multiple "baby daddies" or overweight strong-black-independent-neck-rollin'-don't-need-no-man man eating machines ready to chew you up and spit you out. Good luck trying to find a black woman who doesn't hold these stereotypes or portrayed as desirable on a popular show (Dee, from BSG? But she didn't have much of a character. Kerry Washington from Scandal maybe? (I've never watched Scandal before)). I was about to set account just to say in this thread, "In before the 'I'm not attracted to black women because it's my preference' posts". These threads tend to get old real quick, and usually contain little perspective from the person being singled out or "discriminated" against. So I thought I would be someone to add some sort of dimension to the thread instead of the back and forth "you're racist, you're not racist" argument. (I could even make a similar statement about Latinas, since the way Latin culture treats race is far different from what many are used to . Also many Latinas could look black, white, or in between. They do not always look like Jessica Alba, J.Lo or Michelle Rodriguez, but that's another can of worms.))

To be quite honest, you will never know where your attraction will lead you. I have gay friends who even felt attracted to a female at some point in their lives. Attraction is abstract, I wouldn't go as far to say one's attraction is racist, but they definitely shouldn't limit what their attraction truly is. It's a journey, but your journey, not mine's. If someone finds themselves truly not attracted to black women or women of dark complexion so be it. Less time wasted from the both of us.

Those are my 2 cents, and I'll get back to lurking.
Quoted for truth...
 

pearcinator

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I don't think it's racist...apologies in advance if I offend anyone with my comment.

I don't find dark-skinned women attractive. The few exceptions are people like actresses Thandie Newton and Zoe Saldana. I think it might be because they have "white girl" bodies.

Most dark women have different body shapes...shapes that I don't really find attractive.

So no, it's not racist if you're not attracted to a certain race. Sorry if I sounded like a racist but I thought I would share my opinion anyway.