Poll: Isn't crying about the deceased pointless?

[JoesshittyOs]

Now before you go all "evil wannabe-manly guy" on me, please listen:

I understand that being sad about dead people has its right to exist, as you can never see someone again you maybe liked or loved. It's just there to relieve the stress of bearing with that.
Still, that begs the question:

Except for you(and people you're crying with) maybe feeling better, does it make any sense? It surely does not reverse the situation or anything like that, sometimes I even feel like it's really stupid to do that, because the dead person surely wouldn't want you to be sad, so why the hell do we do this?
Why do we almost mandate that people must be sad when someone dies? And yes, it's also a cultural thing to a point. If I am not crying at a funeral(which doesn't mean I didn't love them) then everybody calls me out for that and calls me heartless and the like. Why do we continue this trend in culture? Your parents almost teach you that you have to be sad, and case in point, it would also be sad for people without that, yes, but not that sad. It's just like getting angry at certain things, it's also a part of the education how strong you react to something, so why do we make it worse than it actually would be?

What?... where are you getting that you have to be sad about someone's death?

No, you have to be respectful about someone's death. That's the cultural mandate. One that if you step outside of, you should be punished.

Crying is something you can't help. I've been to multiple funerals where the son of whomever just died had a rather blank stare on his face (this guy kinda was the definition of bad ass though).

 

[BarbaricGoose]

Yes, it is pointless. But it's also part of what makes us human; we're illogical at times, and we have emotions that we can't always control.

I for one wouldn't trade that for the world.

 

[hazabaza1]

Crying is a reactionary response to sadness.

We can't help how we feel.

Well, first post and the question is answered.
Let's all move on, shall we?

 

[AngryFrenchCanadian]

Pointless? Debatable.

Cathartic? Clearly.

 

[cartoon 6]

Hard to say. When I was 14 my Grandfather died and that's the only famlily member i've lost. I didn't cry for him although I was very sad. On the other hand I did cry when my hamster died but that was when I was 7.

 

[LobsterFeng]

I once knew a girl who lost her father. I can remember that she always seemed perfectly fine...didn't cry at all. And she would even tell us that she was fine, she seemed totally fine at the funeral too. Then one day at school, I can remember she just got out of her seat, and ran out of the classroom. Nobody could find her until the end of the day, where we found her sitting over her fathers' grave. She had run all the way from our school to the cemetery, and she was just crying harder than I've ever seen someone cry before.

My point to this story is, sometimes people just need to let things out. If you don't, you'll probably have a mental breakdown or something.

 

[Torrasque]

yeah its pointless but you know thease funny things called emotions take over hard logic

I mean the fact is you liked this person, and now they are gone from your life they have ceaced to exist, that really sucks, it sucks enough for you to cry and its not somthing you can control

This.
I rarely cry, but when I do, its because I cannot control it.
Considering I am taking as many philosophy courses I can at a University that doesn't yet have a Philosophy BA, and considering I've always hated the gushy romance that ruins good movies, I think its safe to assume I am a pretty rational person.
But I'll still cry like a baby when someone close to me dies.

Eventually, enough times goes by, and you go on with your life. The wound heals over, and while you may not forget about them, you don't think about them every waking second.
I cried for a whole day when my family dog died, and couldn't mention him for a week without tearing up. Its been over a year since he died, and I am still sad that he's gone, I don't break into tears. I mention him in conversation and think about funny things he did.

When someone dies, society will say that you are to mourn their passing and give them a send off befitting their position in society and your life.
I don't give a shit about any of that.
When I die, I want everyone that cares about me, to watch a funny movie of my choosing, listen to my favorite album in life, and then each go to the podium and tell a funny story from my life. I don't want any tears, but I know people will cry.
The point of a funeral is not to say "this person has died, LETS ALL BE SAD BECAUSE THAT SUCKS", the point of a funeral is to say "this person has died, and we'll all miss them in our lives, but lets celebrate the fun we had with this person while they were alive"
Funerals should be a collection of memories about the good times, to off-set the fact that that person is no longer here, they shouldn't be "THIS PERSON SHOULD HAVE LIVED MUCH LONGER, WHY OH WHY CRUEL WORLD"

But I mean, if you are going to turn into a waterworks, then by all means grab a box of tissues and turn into a waterworks. I'm not going to stop you from doing something you can't control =)

 

[MarsProbe]

Evil wannabe-manly guy text ommited to save space

Your logic is sound, Mr Spock.

Spock would be offended by this. He might get angry even, what with having emotions and all.

You may as well be asking why someone might cry if they experience pain, break up with their partner or any other unpleasant experience you could care to think of.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

*Rolls eyes so hard they fall out*

Yes when my kids die I will calmly plan out their funerals and then go to a comedy film and laugh my ass off. No reason to be upset at all.

you plan on outliving your children?
how?

OT: i see where you're coming from. if i die, i would want my family to be happy instead of sad.

 

[whiteshark12]

It's an involuntary emotional response to sadness.

 

[Naal]

My grandma died a few months ago, and I didn't cry. She was 95 years old, and has had severe Alzheimers for ten years. I did my mourning years ago when her mind went, but now I'm happy she's gone: My grandmother, at her death, was just a shell of a woman. The lady who once was had not been there for a long time. I only really knew her when I was a small child, so although it was sad I wasn't crying.

Now when my parents die, that's when I'll be a blubbering mess. Of course it won't last terribly long, because I'm of a faith where I know I will see them again one day, with a new body and no suffering.

 

[IronicBeet]

It's an involuntary human reaction. It doesn't have to make sense.

 

[NezumiiroKitsune]

I don't even. Did this really need 5 pages of answers?

No, it helps relieve stress (grief) caused by the death, among other social things. Google crying.

Does it always help? No, not if you aren't stressed by the death or are "wired" differently, but most of the time it does.

But really? We're not taught to be sad either. You are just sad.

 

[Vrud]

Crying indicates that we wish the person who passed on were still alive. If you don't cry at someone's funeral, you seem to be saying that you don't mind that they're dead. That's why we're expected to cry.

 

[dyre]

What do you mean pointless? Like, I don't make a profit from it? Do you think happiness is pointless too?

Well, here's why it's not pointless. Suppressing emotions is bad. Crying is the release of emotion. If you feel you need to do so, then it's healthy to do so. So, crying is good for your emotional health.

 

[Shakomaru]

I don't actually cry when one of my family members dies... I have cried for my best friend's sister, who I never met... So yeah it can definitely be illogical.

 

[Jeremy Meadows]

I believe it's fine if it's the first couple of days you know, like at the funeral and what not. But after while there really shouldn't be any reason to cry. You can be sad yes, but if your still bawling then it just makes you look weak. And then there are those stupid people who keep decased friends/family members facebook pages up and still post on them about how much they miss them. Hey! Stupid! They can't see your post! That stuff really annoys me.

 

[genericusername64]

I don't cry, because I'm a guy and guys don't cry (Obscure reference!)
If I did I would probably look ridiculous anyway