Poll: Isn't crying about the deceased pointless?

[sephiroth1991]

I'm English, we are raised from a young age to have a tough upper lip and that emotions are WRONG. However I'm not afraid to admit that when i lost someone close i cried. However people are surprised by my detachment from hearing news of other peoples pain.

 

[Ranorak]

This is just in, emotions overwrite logic.
Learn more on this at 2:00.
Next up, eating removes the feeling of hunger?
Science says yes, but my producer says no.

 

[Warped_Ghost]

Maybe but if you look at it that way then isn't life pointless?

 

[juraigamer]

Yes being sad after someone has deceased is natural.

STAYING sad is a sign of depression...

You see what I did there America?

 

[Dracowrath]

Except for you(and people you're crying with) maybe feeling better, does it make any sense? It surely does not reverse the situation or anything like that, sometimes I even feel like it's really stupid to do that, because the dead person surely wouldn't want you to be sad, so why the hell do we do this?
Why do we almost mandate that people must be sad when someone dies? And yes, it's also a cultural thing to a point. If I am not crying at a funeral(which doesn't mean I didn't love them) then everybody calls me out for that and calls me heartless and the like. Why do we continue this trend in culture? Your parents almost teach you that you have to be sad, and case in point, it would also be sad for people without that, yes, but not that sad. It's just like getting angry at certain things, it's also a part of the education how strong you react to something, so why do we make it worse than it actually would be?

1. The last funeral I was at, nobody seemed to be actually crying, oddly enough. Whenever I started to I got stared at as if it was rude.

2. Humans do a LOT of things that don't make sense.

 

[MeChaNiZ3D]

I don't cry when a family member dies. It's not that I don't try or that I'm not sad, I just don't do it. That simple.

 

[Cali0602]

I want you all to look up a word: catharsis

That is why people cry about ANYTHING. Does that mean we're supposed to cry about everything? No. But if you want to know WHY we cry about emotional distress, look it up. [End discussion]

 

[platinawolf]

Crying and feeling sadness is one of the steps to "closing the book" so to speak. The brain needs to rewire itself to the fact that the individual is gone. This is achieved through grief.

 

[DeathWyrmNexus]

Mourning the dead is for our benefit, not the dead's. Does making a thread about this reverse the situation? No... But you still did it because of your own questions and feelings. It is no different for mourning or just about anything else.

Congratulations, we've reached the point. It was within us all along!

 

[HardkorSB]

Except for you(and people you're crying with) maybe feeling better, does it make any sense? It surely does not reverse the situation or anything like that, sometimes I even feel like it's really stupid to do that, because the dead person surely wouldn't want you to be sad, so why the hell do we do this?

Isn't making you feel better a good reason? If you'll let your sadness out, you'll get over it quicker. If you'll keep it inside, you'll be depressed for much much longer, maybe you'll experience some emotional disorders in the future.
Besides, it's a natural reaction of your body to certain physical and/or emotional pressure. Trying to stop it is like trying to stop your body from sweating when it's hot or trying to hold the urine in your bladder when you want to take a piss (maybe not to the same extent but the fact remains - your body does it for a reason).
If you don't feel like crying, don't. However, if you do, don't pretend like you don't, just because our twisted society views it as a sign of weakness.

That is all.

 

[Phas]

OP, by that standard all emotion is pointless, if it's not then while not useful crying should be expected since it is simply a result to strong emotion.

It's utility isn't a valid notion or a worthy consideration.

Well, technicly our entire lives are pointless, I mean if we're just going to die then what is the point of living? For me it's mostly so I can have fun.

 

[Hoplon]

OP, by that standard all emotion is pointless, if it's not then while not useful crying should be expected since it is simply a result to strong emotion.

It's utility isn't a valid notion or a worthy consideration.

Well, technicly our entire lives are pointless, I mean if we're just going to die then what is the point of living? For me it's mostly so I can have fun.

Which would be why I don't think the question is worth consideration.

 

[The Harkinator]

Everyone grieves in different ways, let them grieve, cry and come to terms with loss themselves. People feel better once they've made the decision to move on themselves.

 

[Ace of Spades]

Logically, no it doesn't make any sense, but that doesn't change much. It's not a voluntary response.

 

[Folksoul]

The grieving process is not pointless. The fact that it is a natural emotion and coping mechanism gives it it's "point". The question is, "is it practical?"

Will it help the deceased or those who simply don't care? ...no.

Will it help the griever come to terms with what they lost, or help overcoming the ensuing feelings about their own mortality? Yes.
Will grieving allow you and everyone in that persons life to celebrate all that made that person matter to other people? Yes.
Will it give people some goddamn closure before day to day life expects people to catch up while you're still planning a funeral? Yes.
If they died as a sacrifice so that others may live, grieving for them is also a way of celebrating the lives they saved.


It is because we grieve, that we prove the value of life. I am not a religious person, but if you tell anyone that grieving for their loved ones or honouring the deaths of those that saved their loved ones that their feelings are "pointless" or "stupid" I worry about your soul. If the deceased had harmed you, I understand the satisfaction because karma avenged your suffering, but don't you dare tell people that their grief is pointless or laugh at their loss.

 

[Robert Ewing]

Initially crying is not pointless. Crying is a natural reaction, that shouldn't be held back. If you feel the need to cry, cry.

However once the seething depression starts to alter how your life will play out. Stop, just do it. While there is a point to mourning the loss of a loved one initially, there is no point in mourning the loss of a loved one until the very day you die.

It's pointless to mourn a person for any period of time over a month, i'd say. And that's only if you're really balled over. Seriously, I know it's sad, but pull yourself together. Death is something that should be shrugged off. Because, y'know. Thousands of people do that every day.

 

[Nackl of Gilmed]

Why do we almost mandate that people must be sad when someone dies? And yes, it's also a cultural thing to a point. If I am not crying at a funeral(which doesn't mean I didn't love them) then everybody calls me out for that and calls me heartless and the like. Why do we continue this trend in culture?

You don't have to be sad if someone you didn't know very well dies. A great aunt of mine died recently, but I'd only met her a couple of times in my entire life and honestly it doesn't really affect me. However, if I were to sit around looking bored at the funeral, that would be rather upsetting to all the people who did know and love her. It's about respect to those who are suffering for the loss, and I'm honestly perplexed that you weren't able to figure that out for yourself.

 

[Alrocsmash]

Whats funny is that most of the primate animals in the world have tear ducts and cry. Simply hard wired into our DNA. Also, elephants cry, and even have a burial ritual of sorts. I think its just life nature, if you follow.

 

[Use_Imagination_here]

When It comes to gried, I like to try to get it all out at once. When that once happens is an entirely different question, but it always involves crying.

 

[SaraPohl]

Yep, totally. I never cry when my loved ones die. What's it gonna help for?