Poll: Isn't crying about the deceased pointless?

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Simeon Ivanov

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I was gonna say you´re evil, but then I looked at your profile pic and gave up.

OT: It is. A lot of things are pointless. Like DLC. Or Vegetarian pizza. But people still do them. I guess we're only humans.
 

Slayer_2

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Because most people are emotional and irrational. Of course there is no afterlife, and of course the person (likely) wouldn't want you crying and getting depressed. Too bad people aren't coldly rational.
 

Grimlock Fett

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Apr 14, 2010
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I didn't cry when I found out my dad had died or at the funeral! I did however bawl my eyes out when I tried to tell my friend and after the funeral when I was with just my brother and sister because I couldn't hold it all in anymore! The pain of losing a loved one is immense and sometimes the only thing you can do is cry!!! I personally don't like people seeing me cry but not because I'm afraid they'll think i'm weak but because I looked f*cking awful when I cry! Like most people I guess:'D
 

zehydra

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Oct 25, 2009
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Daystar Clarion said:
Crying is a reactionary response to sadness.

We can't help how we feel.
yeah, it's kind of like telling someone not to be nervous

My brother once knew an actor in college, who when asked "don't you get nervous?" replied "No, it's a waste of time". We then concluded that he just doesn't get nervous like the rest of us.
 

SmartyShorts

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My family has a rather odd tradition of celebrating after people die. It's not like a "ding dong the witch is dead" type of thing, we just believe that we should celebrate a person's life instead of mourn their death. It takes more time to live then it does to die. When I was a kid four of my great grandparents died. Now that I'm older I love to talk about them because they were great people and I'm very lucky that I got to know them. In my opinion that's not worth crying over though sometimes it can't be helped.
 

lacktheknack

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Jan 19, 2009
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I don't understand people who insist that EVERY action has to be logical. There is little logic involved with emotions.

It's what makes us human. Yes, I'm aware how cliched that is, but it's because it's TRUE.

Here's a better question: If someone is crying at a funeral, what harm does that do to any minuscule thing in existence? Crying is healthy, and affects no one else beyond making them feel a bit sadder, but that's irrelevant because they're at a funeral.
 

Woodsey

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Its not like people to cry because they think its going to bring them back from the dead. Its a reaction, not something you actively look to do.
 

No_Remainders

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Kirex said:
Well, considering crying is a standard response to being sad, then yeah, it's perfectly fine.

The last time I cried was when someone close to me died, 5 years ago.

Since then, I've not seen reason to cry. Shrug.
 

emeraldrafael

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Jul 17, 2010
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Any emotion or effort on the dead is ultimately pointless. You may as well drag them out ot the woods and let them rot for all the good a proper (read expensive) showing and burial is going to do them.

However, we as humans are emotional creatures, so we cant help it. Tears let us release sadness, laughter release joy, growling release anger and so on and so forth.

Now in my family, we dont cry at showings. we laugh hysterically like hatters remembering teh good times, and on more then one occassion weve had a family member die and be buried in a t shirt and shorts, so thats how the whole family would go to the wake (like its some kinda picnic).

...

I dont know, in the end, I'll have to quote my grandfather, who told me this when my gf died.

"Shed only a single tear there ya pansy, or youre going to wash her memories away".

And so thats something Ive tried to live by.

EDIT:
Thomas Guy said:
*Rolls eyes so hard they fall out*

Yes when my kids die I will calmly plan out their funerals and then go to a comedy film and laugh my ass off. No reason to be upset at all.
I find it interesting youre planning to die after your kids.
 

Princess Rose

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Kirex said:
I understand that being sad about dead people has its right to exist, as you can never see someone again you maybe liked or loved. It's just there to relieve the stress of bearing with that.
You answered your own question. We cry because WE'RE sad, because we won't have the pleasure of that person's company anymore. We'll miss them.

Your question begs another - you say that "crying won't help them" but... when does crying ever help anything other than making the cryer feel better? That's crying's function - to allow the person crying to express and vent their sadness.

Case in point - if you have a fight with your sig other, crying afterwards doesn't make the fight go away. It doesn't lead to a discussion. It just allows you to be sad about it.

If you're asking why we feel sad after someone dies, then again, see above (missing them). If you're saying that sadness serves no function, then A) it is a very important psychological coping mechanism and B) people who don't feel sadness are sociopaths. Possibly high-functioning, non-homicidal sociopaths, but still psychos by definition. (note - I'm not including people who hide their sadness or disguise it - those people still feel sad, they just don't wish to admit it. You're only a sociopath if you feel nothing).
 

lord.jeff

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It's an emotion we can't help it and it's a very important emotion, it makes us want to prevent further loss.
 

oblivionenigma

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When I was a kid, I cried if I didn't get what I wanted. I cried when I lost something I liked a lot. When I was a teen, I cried when I lost the love of my life. I cried when I felt an utter loss of control over my life.
As an adult, you know what, I can honestly say I am quite similar. I lose something dear to me, I may cry. It's particularly bad when it's someone close to me--even if it's just them going away for a while. Add death to that, and...well...the finality of the loss in death is horrifying. Even if you believe in an afterlife, you're looking at perhaps YEARS without ever seeing the person again and even then you have no idea in what form you'll see them. I think, if there ever was a reason to cry, it's to cry over the loss of a loved one

I also find that I can be deeply moved by the prospect of others' sorrow. I see others going through a horrible time struggling with the loss and it tears me up inside too. Sometimes, then, I cry over a death not because I've lost someone, but because I know other people's lives have been thrown into shambles.

Does it have a literal, practical, application? Perhaps not (one may argue inter-personal connection, stress relief, etc as some have here). But most other emotions are pretty worthless on a totally practical level too. Love makes you do such stupid things, one could argue love is actually counter-productive and to be avoided entirely.

Incidentally, people talk about "this culture" as somehow emphasizing mourning. We emphasize mourning over tragedy here in America moreso than many other cultures (I can't stand how, sometimes decades after an event we're still mourning and commemorating it). However, many other cultures have much more elaborate and hysterical mourning processes after a person dies (screaming, bizarre rituals, hiring mourners, hysterics...). Interestingly, Americans often seem remarkably subdued at funerals by comparison
 

RJ Dalton

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Aug 13, 2009
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Intellectually, yes, mourning for the dead is kind of pointless, but mourning is an emotional thing and emotions are rarely what we'd think of as logical.
 

somonels

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Oct 12, 2010
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Kinda, here, allow me to share these epic words:
[HEADING=1]He's dead, Jim.[/HEADING]
Despite popular opinion, humans don't really cry about the deceased, they cry about the life they have to lead without them. It's all egoistical, but then again so is breathing.

And no, i did not read the OP.
 

Alar

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Dec 1, 2009
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I don't think any of your options quite fit what I feel. Is crying over the deceased pointless? Not usually... and here's why.

Crying is part of the grieving process. Once you're able to accept your loss and the tears come, you have to let them out. If you just shut the pain away and don't bother acknowledging it emotionally, then you'll probably never truly recover from the experience (not that you can completely recover, but you can return to normalcy).

However, if you DON'T know them, then I don't see the point. I guess I'm just not that empathetic.
 

ThreeWords

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Feb 27, 2009
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I doubt there's much logic; people cry due some sort of instinctual felling along the lines of "I have been permanently separated from someone important to me" rather than as a conscious act of catharsis.
 

Deadlyveggie

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Apr 14, 2011
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Objectively speaking, crying does serve some purposes. Though most of it's related discourse is wishy-washy bullshit.

For one, it's an effective kickstart to the grieving process; think of it as the antithesis to denial. Secondly, a surprising amount of endorphins are released when crying, helping 'clear' your head and allowing your head to feel it's made a psychological reaction to sadness.

However, as a cultural obligation it serves only the purpose of face, which is ludicrous. For some reason people assign special qualities to a dead person that they weren't given during life, thus you are OBLIGATED to feel sad and revered if you don't shed a tear or so.

If I ever had any hassle as a funeral I remained dry-eyed at, I'd just tell them crying is a stress reaction that gives me no benefit, and that I grieve in different ways.