Poll: My friend has shocked and appalled me. Now I feel numb...

[Sonicron]

Keep your trap shut, for the love of God. Revealing prejudicial case information before a trial would seriously hurt the prosecution's case, and get you in legal trouble as well, meaning that instead of protecting people you'd be increasing the chance that the rapist actually goes free due to prosecutorial misconduct (seeing how a guy at the DA's office blabbed about a pending case).

 

[StBishop]

A.

Its not your place nor anyone elses to judge or punish this person. The legal system will do that. What you should do is report your relative for clearly breaking the rules of their position.

[/Lawful Neutral]

I would warn closest friends and their families, which would amount to less than 10 people. I would really only feel it necessary to warn people who may be at risk, not just tell my best friends because I want to.

As many have said, charged =/= convicted =/= guilty. This may be a cunning ruse to ruin his life by the girl. However I don't know any of the parties involved personally and can't make assumptions about their personalities or conduct.

If you believe it then act on it subtly. If you are not certain, do nothing.

 

[manic_depressive13]

Lenin once said that he would rather hang 100 innocent people than let a criminal go free. Do you agree with Lenin? Or do you favour the principles of the West, which argues that putting an innocent person in jail is pretty much the worst thing you can do?

If Lenin actually said this I will eat my own ass. Post a link. Almost every quote by a famous politician can be found somewhere on the internet. Let me see one person other than you attributing that to Lenin.

 

[Sarge034]

Hello Escapist,
As they say on Frasier, Long time listener, first time caller. I found out an hour ago that a good friend from High School, who I still see and have had in my home for social functions and drinks with my family and other friends, raped a girl I know. Needless to say, I am completely shocked and appalled by this brazen act of inhumanity. The young woman is pressing charges and is in touch with our local DA. My problem is this:

*This 'friend' is still running around telling lies about the girl in teh mean time.
*He is still downing drinks and yucking laughs with my friends and their families/friends.
*He is being allowed unknowingly around other peoples vulnerable daughters.

Do I A) Do nothing and wait for the DA to prosecute;
B) Warn my closest friends and their families so as to protect them;
C) Shout from the rooftops (metaphorically) that this man is bad/evil;
D) Some other action that you suggest.

Addendums:
1) I know enough not to interfere with or endanger the DA's case. This is a slam dunk as he has even admitted doing it in a threatening letter sent to the victim.
2) I am presently emotional about this subject and am not necessarily thinking past my anger and feelings of betrayal.

You are in a tough situation, but you need to remember something. Innocent until proven guilty. If you go around saying he did something before the court does, you might end up with a civil suit for liable and slander. Personally, I would warn them that he is suspected of raping someone, or he allegedly raped someone. Do not identify the victim, and DO NOT STATE THAT HE IS GUILY OF THE CRIME.

Stay safe, stay vigilant, and my deepest condolences to the victim.

 

[tigermilk]

I acquired the information...

Delete your comment just in case it jeopardises the case. I know its unlikely but why take the risk?

 

[Sarge034]

Innocent until proven otherwise.

If, however, he is found legally guilty of rape, I feel there is only one fitting way to treat a rapist: murder.

"You don't murder animals. You kill them." A quote totally partially out of context, but it does nicely. Intewebs cookie if you tell me what movie it is from.....

 

[tofulove]

best off staying out of it. if shes got a solid case, he wont be free for much longer. if she doesn't, and he goes free, you got your self a load of trouble. keep your nose out of it. or it might get swiped at.

 

[Crimsane]

"This is serious, so I'd better ask the internet - a varied group of anonymous people whose advice will likely range from various crimes to suicide because they neither know me nor care a toss about me. Seems like a plan."

wut

 

[Hive Mind]

Innocent until proven otherwise.

If, however, he is found legally guilty of rape, I feel there is only one fitting way to treat a rapist: murder.

"You don't murder animals. You kill them." A quote totally partially out of context, but it does nicely. Intewebs cookie if you tell me what movie it is from.....

Just looked it up - The Big Red One?

Also, I agree (not with the quote in its original context -- that of killing enemy soldiers) with the idea, or rather fact, that rapists are not human and need to be out down. Hell, I'd support a 'convicted rapists are fair game to anyone' law.

 

[Sarge034]

Innocent until proven otherwise.

If, however, he is found legally guilty of rape, I feel there is only one fitting way to treat a rapist: murder.

"You don't murder animals. You kill them." A quote totally partially out of context, but it does nicely. Intewebs cookie if you tell me what movie it is from.....

Just looked it up - The Big Red One?

Also, I agree (not with the quote in its original context -- that of killing enemy soldiers) with the idea, or rather fact, that rapists are not human and need to be out down. Hell, I'd support a 'convicted rapists are fair game to anyone' law.

Here is you cookie, sir or madam.

Spoiler: OM NOM NOM

 

[RedEyesBlackGamer]

Quietly perform B. And tell them to not spread it until the case is decided. If I knew he did it for sure, I might get into a fight. Some lines you do not cross.

 

[LiudvikasT]

Quietly perform B. And tell them to not spread it until the case is decided. If I knew he did it for sure, I might get into a fight. Some lines you do not cross.

Yes. One of those lines is taking law in your own hands.

 

[deus-ex-machina]

B - if you're sure it was a genuine case of rape, but only if it bothers you so much it is consuming your life.

I would avoid C - the idea behind 'rape' is becoming increasingly cloudy. What starts as willing sex, can change for whatever reason, but men, generally being stronger and dumber in the bed, don't know when to stop. I know rape is always horrible and should never really be protected, but there is a difference between attacking a woman from the onset and raping her against her will, to a woman changing her mind mid way and perhaps the objection not being clear enough and hormones taking charge.

Neither is defendable, but attacking a woman for sex is far more heinous. Of course, I don't know the full story. Yet I would never wish to start a smear campaign or cause too much attention. While you make sure it is known that he is a rapist, you also proclaim that your friend was raped. There will always be people out there who will think just as badly of her, or will never know how to talk to her again. Seems like unnecessary damage.

 

[AVATAR_RAGE]

Protect your family and await justice.

 

[Exterminas]

How do you now for certain he did it?
Not that I want to protect any rapists, but not every teenage girl who yells rape tells the truth. And not every corrupt DA-Employee knows all the facts.

Once a teacher at our school got framed for molestation after he gave a girl a bad mark. They had to drop charges after he could make evident that at the alleged time of the molestation he was working in a parten-teacher conference.

 

[Shiv595]

I would say that since there is a proper legal response, you should do nothing unless he spends time with people you care for.

 

[RavingLibDem]

Hello Escapist,
As they say on Frasier, Long time listener, first time caller. I found out an hour ago that a good friend from High School, who I still see and have had in my home for social functions and drinks with my family and other friends, raped a girl I know. Needless to say, I am completely shocked and appalled by this brazen act of inhumanity. The young woman is pressing charges and is in touch with our local DA. My problem is this:

*This 'friend' is still running around telling lies about the girl in teh mean time.
*He is still downing drinks and yucking laughs with my friends and their families/friends.
*He is being allowed unknowingly around other peoples vulnerable daughters.

Do I A) Do nothing and wait for the DA to prosecute;
B) Warn my closest friends and their families so as to protect them;
C) Shout from the rooftops (metaphorically) that this man is bad/evil;
D) Some other action that you suggest.

Addendums:
1) I know enough not to interfere with or endanger the DA's case. This is a slam dunk as he has even admitted doing it in a threatening letter sent to the victim.
2) I am presently emotional about this subject and am not necessarily thinking past my anger and feelings of betrayal.

Also, at the very least you should stop having any contact with him when you can avoid it, men should really work out that rape is not ok, and that people will not tolerate them if they have done something like this!

 

[Wutaiflea]

You said that you'd come by this information in a dubious fashion, so, while I know you want to protect people, I don't think it'd be advisable to start stating this person is a rapist. You could endanger your friend's legal complaint, get yourself and your "informant" in legal trouble and also undermine your friend.

What you might do, is tell people close to you that you've heard or seen he's been behaving inappropriately, and perhaps mention he's been making threats to young women. Encourage people to be wary in the time leading up to the court case, rather than outright calling them out with information you shouldn't have.

I don't know whether anyone else has mentioned this above, but if you know this girl, it might be nice to reach out to her- spend some time with her, or just phone to see if she's okay. Supporting someone through this kind of court case is hard, but will ultimately do more good than simply denouncing her attacker.

Many rape crisis lines provide advise for friends and family. You could start there.