Poll: My Love Triangle Help!!!

[300lb. Samoan]

go see Two Lovers. Jaoquim Phoenix was in a similar spot, I think.

Your current girlfriend offers the security of a stable relationship accepted by your family. The other offers the excitement of new possibilities. Either could be the right decision, I sure wouldn't trust the internet to make this decision for you. Thank god you didn't go ask 4chan... right?

 

[UpSkirtDistress]

What would you do in my situation or have youu ever been in a similar situation and what have you done?

All you can do is talk to her about it. I would put HUGE money on her not thinking of you that way. I know when it happened to me, that is how she felt. Don't stay with your girlfriend because you obviously don't care about her enough to NOT have feelings for other women, and she deserves better than a guy who just goes through the motions while wishing he was with someone else. So my solution: talk it out with your friend, but break it off with your current girlfriend because you are obviously not capable of caring for her the ways she needs. You know, FAITHFULLY?

She does still have feelings for me she made that much clear. I,ve talked it out to death with my best friend already he absolutely loves the other girl but says its my life so whatever makes me happy. I Love my girlfriend but im only 19 and been going out for 2years its a long time for my age. I would never been unfaithful and i really do care for her.

 

[dontworryaboutit]

Dump them both and become a monk.

 

[quiet_samurai]

Sit them dowm together and talk about the benefits on polygamy.

If this fails then make them fight over you in a tub of jell-o.

If neither of these appeal to you then you obviously have something for your friend that you will never have for your current girlfriend. If I was you I would go for the friend, she seems to have your card and you know it. I can already tell that is what you are thinking, if you weren't you probably wouldn't have posted it. But I'm extremely impulsive so who knows.

 

[UpSkirtDistress]

My only response would be this XKCD comic.

http://www.xkcd.com/584/

Normally I Dislike Webcomics but thats great ,very ascute and accurate

 

[Hedberger]

Your current girlfriend probably wouldn't take it too good if you dumped her for someone else and or they wouldn't get along very well. I suggest you keep the other girl as a close friend and maybe you really can have both, sort of.

 

[Khadath]

Ok so heres my problem. 2 years ago I was on and off with this amazing girl but nothing serious. At a house party I got together with a girl from school and now 2years later we are still together.

The problem is this other girl is still in my life, we stayed good friends the whole time and everytime i see her (which is rare because she lives an hour or so away by train) there is this big spark between us and she is so fun and exciting. My girlfrined is fun in her own way and i do love her but i still have all these annoying thoughts.

My girlfriend is great, cute ,friendly, exceptionally loyal and kind. We get on great ,we are like part of each others families. We have a huge history together and were each others first more or less everything .Our day to day stuff is fun and still isn't dull or boring even after all this time. The only problem really is she doesnt get on too well with my friends, its not that they don't like each other its just they don't really click you know, they all talk and joke with her but wouldn't really count her as a friend of their own. They think she is a little boring ,she doesn't really drink or go out clubbing etc. Also she can be quiye clingy at parties she follows me around and won't give me much space.

The other girl is full of good qualities really fun, funny, social gets on with everyone very very sexy. We talk on the phone alot and she tells me everything about her life ,we keep nothing from each other. She is great fun the whole time has lots and lots of friends and ...well is just great fun all round. I can't stop thinking about her its driving me mad but i still love my girlfriend

What would you do in my situation or have youu ever been in a similar situation and what have you done?

Edit: The other girl has made it clear she still has feelings for me.
Edit2: Just looking for outsider opinions not gonna base my decision on it.

I would stay with your girlfriend it sounds like you have a very good thing going and what you're feeling for this other gal is probably just a passing thing, whatever you do do not act on it! You have a good thing and it's not worth risking it.

 

[Mrsoupcup]

Why not have both?

This.

What does this mean?

 

[Khadath]

You misunderstand. By even entertaining these thoughts, you have already proven that you don't love your girlfriend. It is time to be a MAN and break up with her. Tell her why, LIKE A MAN, and explain to her that you don't want to hurt her. Of course, I could just be weird for actually BELIEVING that, but it has never steered me wrong in the past. As for the other girl... If you two already tried it, and you are only 19, I wouldn't recommend trying it again. I did it on several occasions, and the result was always the same.

Again, that is just my view on the matter, so do what you will

This is actually a very good point, I personally don't like to throw the word love around, never told a gal that I love em' 'cause anything I've felt hasn't been completely unconditional and unrelenting and if you are having these thoughts about this other gal then maybe what you feel for your girlfriend isn't that kind of love, more of a close friend kind of love ie. You don't want to see her hurt.

But if you think about it and if what I say is true then you should cut her loose, stop leading her on.

 

[Lord_Panzer]

Stick with Bachelorette #1, see how it works out. If it doesn't, #2's waited two years, I'm sure she'll be able to wait a little while longer.

 

[meatloaf231]

Choose not the one you would rather live with, but the one you could not live without.

 

[Marble Dragon]

Could you figure it out? Think of your current girlfriend. Picture her in your mind, in remarkable detail. Even put her normal outfit, jewelry, makeup, ect. onto that mental image. Now picture what she'll go through if out of the blue, you tell her that you've dumped her for some other girl that you met two years ago.

I'm going to have to agree with Darth Mobius on this one. It'll be less heartbreaking for your girlfriend if you know that you're dumping her for her sake, not your own.

 

[ThrobbingEgo]

Snip.

If you're asking people on the internet if you should break up with your girlfriend, you obviously aren't attached to her. If you loved her you wouldn't post this question to strangrs on a gaming forum. You're just trying to crowd-source the responsibility. If you don't really want to be with her - be honest with her. You owe her that.

Breaking up with someone, when they've done nothing wrong, isn't fun. I've been there. Even if you do it for the right reasons, you still feel like the bad guy. You probably won't be friends afterwards. And if you have to break up with her - you're going to have to do it sooner or later. It only gets worse the longer you wait.

When you break up with her, do it in person. It's less douchebaggy than calling her or sending a text.

 

[Da Joz]

It is a bad idea to try and get both girls. I have had friends that have tried this and it always ended with them being alone.

 

[ThrobbingEgo]

Could you figure it out? Think of your current girlfriend. Picture her in your mind, in remarkable detail. Even put her normal outfit, jewelry, makeup, ect. onto that mental image. Now picture what she'll go through if out of the blue, you tell her that you've dumped her for some other girl that you met two years ago.

You think it's any better if you dump her for her? At least if you're leaving her, you're the douche. If you're dumping her for her - you're rejecting her. I'd argue that's much more painful - when the person who hurts you isn't the bad guy.

 

[Trivun]

I was going to give my opinion, then I read Khadath and Darth Mobius' comments and I have to say I agree with them. My opinion is pretty much the same as that, you've wrote this asking for help but it seems to me that you'd be much happier with the other girl. It seems that you have more in common with her and the fact that you're entertaining these thoughts suggests you aren't as in love with your girlfriend as you once were. I voted to stay with your girlfriend in the poll but thinking about it I made the wrong choice. Don't get me wrong, I'm a romantic at heart and I've always hated cheaters, very few things make me as angry as finding out someone has cheated on their partner with someone else. However, in this instance it's not that simple, and I'd say it's much better for everybody if you break up with your girlfriend and ask out this other girl instead, but of course don't break up with her in a way that makes things really bad between you. Try and let her down gently, is what I mean, obviously she'll be upset but in the long run, if you feel like this and you have these doubts then if you stay with her you'll likely end up hurting her even more than you will be leaving her. Normally I would say try and make a go of things but this situation suggests, from what you've said, that you love this other girl even more, and that's something that won't change, believe me.

Sorry about the Wall'O'Text, by the way.

 

[MrSnugglesworth]

I am not voting. Because you should go with neither.

 

[ThrobbingEgo]

I'd try and get both, but apparently people around here frown upon that, so on a serious note:

Stay with your current one. If she decides to dump you, or go all "crazy-psycho-*****" on you, then try and get with the other girl. That way, you'll always have a backup plan.

Stick with Bachelorette #1, see how it works out. If it doesn't, #2's waited two years, I'm sure she'll be able to wait a little while longer.

You think it's a good idea to string them both along?

 

[ThrobbingEgo]

*Snip*

1) Breaking up with somebody to pursue someone else isn't cheating. It's not exactly the nicest thing in the world - but cheating is different. It's when you let the other person think you're in a relationship with them, when you're either sexually or romantically involved with someone else without your partner's knowledge.

2) There isn't really a gentle way to let someone down...

 

[Lord_Panzer]

Stick with Bachelorette #1, see how it works out. If it doesn't, #2's waited two years, I'm sure she'll be able to wait a little while longer.

You think it's a good idea to string them both along?

I wouldn't call it 'stringing them along' per se, because he's stated he has genuine feelings for #1 (a reason to continue the relationship) and after two years of the same, rather non-invasive routine with #2 she's apparently told him she still likes him. Unless she finds someone else, she's going to bop along behind him anyways.

Less string, more status quo. I think.