Poll: No children: a turn-off?
- Thread starter Jonluw
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Really? I'm a teen (16) and I've always wanted kids when I get older. I guess it's just that girls like the idea of kids more than guys do.MetalMagpie said:
No, you see that's the point of the discussion.Peter Storer said:
I want to see whether a factor which logically has no bearing on their desireability as a partner, will still factor in on whether people want to be with said partner.
People normally don't choose partners based on logic and reasoning.
Logically, it shouldn't matter, but most people are biologically wired to want children at some point, and emotions are what mostly control your love-life.
Which is why I hypothesize that a partner that does not want children will be less desireable, even though their opinion on the matter is effectively meaningless.
That's the purpose of this poll.
thisSatsuki666 said:
in the OP, you said they aren't the "one", so why the hell would i continue on with the relationship at all? they don't want kids and dont want marriage, so why should i be with them besides an occasional booty call?
This answer keeps popping up.gmaverick019 said:
Does no one really initiate a relationship without honestly believing the partner is "the one"?
I mean, most people have had more than one relationship in their life: thinking a partner is "the one" without having been together for a good while sounds rather naïve.
Voted for oranges. If she's up for it, I see no reason to not try for an open-ended thing, without the all-binding "commitment." Granted, that's something I'd have to be rather forward about, and that sort of notion isn't often well received. Failing that, I'd try and stick to friends.
EDIT: Now that I think about it, I might also try and stick things out and convince her otherwise if things get actually srs.
EDIT: Now that I think about it, I might also try and stick things out and convince her otherwise if things get actually srs.
And in my time at the escapist I've heard the same happen to people who don't want kids; the male in the relationship has made it clear that he does not want children, ever, and the female agrees to it and continues the relationship in full knowledge and acceptance, then all of a sudden changes her mind and thinks that the male really does want kids after all (even though he was quite clear about the exact opposite).zehydra said:
OT: First off, asexual[footnote]18, so I'm still thinking I'm a late bloomer, but I can't know I'm a late bloomer unless I bloom, so asexual is a term that fits me currently (and possibly in the future as well)[/footnote], so relationships aren't exactly high on my priority list, and relationships with me don't seem to be high on other people's priorities either. However, barring all that, if I were to assume your conditions (we both like each other, and we get along really well, but they are not 'the one') I'd probably break up with them (or them me), and not because of the 'no kids' thing[footnote]P.S. I'm fine with no kids[/footnote], but because if they aren't someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, then I don't want to waste their time and mine by spending the rest of my life with them because I didn't have the gonads to end it right the first time.
if i don't see myself possibly(and this is a loose probably) with the person 3 weeks/months/years down the line, then there isn't any point in me being in a relationship with them, if they want the occasional booty call or something as such, then fine, but i really don't see the point in being with someone if they are in fact NOT the one, or possible of being the one, and they don't want kids/marriage (obviously marriage since they aren't the one and don't want kids)Jonluw said:
It would affect my choice to date someone insofar as that I would never consider dating a man who DID want children. I can consider no darker future for myself than one that involves little shits that command your life for ten years, then hate you for ten years, and then move to New York and never call. No thank you.
Not knocking it for those who are interested, but I can't even describe how much I loathe children. Anyone who eventually wants them is a write-off for me, because it would eventually destroy us.
Not knocking it for those who are interested, but I can't even describe how much I loathe children. Anyone who eventually wants them is a write-off for me, because it would eventually destroy us.
hormones change procreation becomes a more biological urge when your in your 30's than in your teens.
but to answer your question it really depends on why. if it's financial then that makes sense. if it's a hatred of kids than I want nothing to do with that relationship.
but to answer your question it really depends on why. if it's financial then that makes sense. if it's a hatred of kids than I want nothing to do with that relationship.
I get that point of view, but it's not how I think. Some relationships are meant to last a lifetime, and some just a few weeks. I've been in several relationships where I knew there was no chance we'd ever get married and that our lives were going in very different directions. But why not just enjoy the time you have? Might as well make some good memories.gmaverick019 said:
I really hope you're not saying what I'm thing.Satsuki666 said:
OT: I loath children. If I somehow get into the perfect relationship where I get married, I might adopt. There's enough unloved children already here, why would I bring even more here?
Depending of the type of relationship I want to have with them It would or wouldn't. If I am aiming at something more serious: yes it would.
understandable, but in my point of view, i don't need to make a relationship out of it, we can hang out, have fun, maybe some sexual fun if the tension is there, and then go about our ways just fine (did this last year actually, and yeah it worked out just fine.)DustyDrB said:
