Poll: Paying for dates

RomanceIsDead

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Aug 19, 2011
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I'm curious about what everyone here thinks about a guy paying for a girl's meal when you go out on a date. Especially for guys who are in college and really have a tight budget. But also pertaining to people of all ages.

I have had a lot of heated debates with my friends recently and would like to know what you guys think. Is it a silly tradition or does it show that a guy doesn't have a "stingy heart"?
 

Chanel Tompkins

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Nov 8, 2011
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Eh...I'd say it's good manners to pay, but if you absolutely can't, it probably wouldn't be a deal breaker if you were polite and up front about asking her to pay for herself before you took her to dinner. You should probably leave the tip though.
 

Soviet Heavy

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If you ask someone out to dinner, you pay the bill. If they ask you out, they pay the bill. It's one person treating the other. Gender is a nonissue.
 

Riki Darnell

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I think it depends on the guy. Right now I'm with a guy who always pays even tho I offer constantly. His reason was because he makes way more money than me (which is true), and he said he doesn't like having a woman pay for him lol. I try to do my part by doing more of the cleaning and cooking to make up for it.
 

Thaluikhain

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Eh, people should pay for their own meals.

Ok, bit of leeway there, but gender shouldn't come into it.

...

Do gay couples have to pay twice, and lesbian couples eat for free?
 

Vegosiux

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Remember, if women like it, it's chivalry, if they don't, it's sexism.

But all in all, I've been in the situation an in the end, if the success of the date depends on who's paying for what, stop dating. Now. Because last time I checked, a date was supposed to be about spending quality time with the other person, not about who pays the bill in the end.
 

Aur0ra145

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I checked always, but I really meant 99% of the time. Why? Because occasionally a girlfriend will want to do something nice for you, like say, buy you dinner. You must let them do this, or they will go apeshit.
 

Suicidejim

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I try to pay for my girlfriend's meal if I take her out somewhere, because it's usually my treat. Occasionally she'll insist on paying for her food, and we'll split the bill, which also works just fine. I never let her pay for my food though. I can't bring myself to do it, unless it's my birthday or something.
 

BENZOOKA

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It depends so much on the situation, the girl, whether it's the first dates or a someone you've been a longer time with. There doesn't exist a dating scene at all to the extent it is in The US for example, so it's a different context altogether.

In other words: Usually pay our own parts / split it, or if I feel like it and have three coins with me, I'll offer to pay it. If it's clearly on the other person's invite, and not a shared idea, then he/she will pay themselves kind of automatically.
 

SckizoBoy

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Soviet Heavy said:
If you ask someone out to dinner, you pay the bill. If they ask you out, they pay the bill. It's one person treating the other. Gender is a nonissue.
Yeah, that'll do me...

In the past, when I'm already going out with someone, we always agree about who's paying beforehand (particular special occasions notwithstanding), but its generally about who does the inviting...
 

Kae

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Well, I always pay at least for my meal but that's mostly because I hate it when people do something for me, that's the reason why I rarely celebrate my birthday, but regardless I don't think it's sexism but more of a biological or psychological thing that a man does to show the woman that he not only cares about her but he can support her, or so I think anyway.
[sub]Do count that I come from the Mexican culture that is actually a very sexist macho culture so that may or may not have something to do with my reasoning.[/sub]
 

Jonluw

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Well, of course you should pay for your dates.
I mean, what kind of an asshole just walks into a shop, grabs a bag of dates, and leaves without paying? Think of the shopkeeper.

Oh, you mean that other kind of date. Yeah, I don't have those. As far as I've heard though, it's customary for the male to pay to demonstrate that he has the capacity to spend money without much worry, and that he cares about the female enough to do so.
Sure, the norm's fairly sexist, so if you don't want to follow it go right ahead. Personally though, when making statements against sexism, I'd prefer to do it in an arena where said statement won't obliterate my chances of getting laid.
 

SilentCom

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I voted sometimes because I figure that if a guy cares about a girl then he should offer to pay for her meal (if he can afford it). Otherwise, if he doesn't even offer, it makes him look kind of inconsiderate. Whether or not she accepts is up to her. Heck, she might even offer to pay for the guys meal, which is completely fine in my book.
 

Saladfork

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The reasoning I've always adhered to is if I invite you to something, I'm paying.

I've always been the one asking out, though, so I honestly couldn't give a complete impression of whether this works out all the time.
 

RomanceIsDead

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Jonluw said:
Well, of course you should pay for your dates.
I mean, what kind of an asshole just walks into a shop, grabs a bag of dates, and leaves without paying? Think of the shopkeeper.

Oh, you mean that other kind of date. Yeah, I don't have those. As far as I've heard though, it's customary for the male to pay to demonstrate that he has the capacity to spend money without much worry, and that he cares about the female enough to do so.
Sure, the norm's fairly sexist, so if you don't want to follow it go right ahead. Personally though, when making statements against sexism, I'd prefer to do it in an arena where said statement won't obliterate my chances of getting laid.
Ah but does not paying really obliterate your chances of getting laid? I mean paying for a girl's meal makes it more obvious that you want to get laid wouldn't you say?
 

SovietSecrets

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I usually pay if the other person doesn't have a job or anything and if its the first couple times were going out. I still continue trying to continue to pay later on, but then I always cave to floating the bill half and half.