Poll: Regarding coffee...

[LooK iTz Jinjo]

I only drink one kind of coffee

 

[Varitel]

A coffee machine is nice because it makes coffee quickly and easily, and it comes out pretty well. Percolators are awful, because the coffee always comes out with that disgusting burnt flavor.

 

[Akytalusia]

just a normal coffee maker. black, decaf. i don't much care for it, but i want to drink something cheaper and less unhealthy than soda for mandatory hydration, and i can't stand straight water either. i'd prefer tea, but coffee is just much easier to prepare. properly prepared tea is too much of a hassle.

 

[AnythingICareToBe]

I'm hypersensitive to caffeine, so drinking a cup is like...baaaaaad. I know I've had coffee before but, I don't really recall much of flavours.
I had a mocha once, which I think must have been fairly low on the caffeine front because I vaguely remember half an hour of deliciousness, followed by a day of hideous paranoia and twitching.

I can drink decaf and diluted coffee, but they're horrible concoctions of death and despair.

I have a sneaking suspicion I don't like the taste of coffee.

 

[Tjebbe]

black, freshly ground from colombian beans by my coffee machine is my preferred style of coffee. In fact, it is high time for a new one.

 

[Versuvius]

I drink tea like a true englishman. 30 cups a day habit pip pip tally ho

 

[Starke]

I grind my own, I usually grind Expresso, though I'll grind other kinds if that's all I've got. I used to use half and half with sugar, but I've switched to non-dairy flavored creamers because of my GF's lactose intolerance. I addicted her to the stuff...

When I'm ordering coffee at a shop, a quad shot breve latte.

 

[Starke]

I like my coffee how I like my women, above average quality.

The most hilarious/disturbing version of that phrase I recall coming across was "...cold and splattered all over the walls."

 

[natster43]

Usually just instant. With a lot of cream and sugar. I need to start drinking it black.

 

[loc978]

Black. Strong. Practically chewable. Italian, preferably.

Spoiler: I make mine in one of these

I make mine in one of these:

...but it's nowhere near as good as the stuff that comes out of something like this:

and yeah, I grind my own beans (not by hand [http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41MT4PrrQBL._SL500_AA300_.jpg]). I get em bulk, though... about the same price as the cheap stuff that comes in cans, only far less acidic.

 

[BlackStar42]

To quote Stephen Fry: "Hang on a minute! This is bloody coffee! I ordered tea!"

Proper cup of tea for me. With milk, one sugar. And a plate of custard creams and choccy digestives on the side. Mmmmmmm.....

 

[Trippy Turtle]

I prefer tea... The caffeine just doesn't appeal to me.

 

[Al-Bundy-da-G]

Got a coffee vending machine at work. Never again I say. I've had piss that tasted better than that shit (don't ask).

Gotta go with the coffee they make at this vietnamese restaurant about 30 minutes from my house. It's Jesus, Moses, Buddha, and Muhhamed mixed together with a pinch of Thor.

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

Black as night sweet as sin.

 

[Surpheal]

I like my coffee the way that I like children...

...I hate children.

 

[Brutal Peanut]

I don't tend to drink coffee at all, mostly tea. But when I do,..I like my coffee like I like my men, milky and sweet.

 

[Philol]

I don't particularly like coffee, I prefer tea.

 

[Linakrbcs]

Strong enough to wake the dead, with a little milk and sugar to make it less bitter.

 

[lacktheknack]

What the hell is shortening?

It's the vegetable oil equivalent of lard. It's used in every not-low-fat baking recipe ever.

Being a competent baker myself and having a mother who bakes religiously, I've never heard of shortening either. Here in the UK, we have Trex or Flora.

Are you just completely unaware of cultural differences?

Trex and Flora are just branded shortening. "Cultural Ignorance" would be me expecting everyone to know what Crisco and Parkay are (which are also branded shortening).

 

[Fijiman]

I don't drink coffee, which is funny because the rest of my family absolutely love these.