Poll: Sexism?

[Vuzzmop]

Being a gentleman isn't just about opening doors for women. It involves a code of conduct towards men as well.
If you are a gentleman, you never hit a lady. If a woman acts violently towards you, she is certainly not a lady.

 

[Shik'rhan]

It's sexist depending on who you do it for,

If you do it for a female who enjoys gentlmanly acts then it's all good
If you do it for a female who believes a woman isn't the current champion in the male super heavy weight devition simply due to male oppression then you're screwed

Lol as I was approaching the door to Maccas one time I opened the door and allowed two women and a man to walk through, one of them smiled and thanked me, the other told me she could have opened the door herself and gave me a horrid look (her husband/partner thanked me though)... honestly it's quite hard to win in a world where simple acts of kindness instantly mean you think the recipient is incapable

 

[PayNSprayBandit]

offer a lady your coat if she's cold: there are biological reasons for her to feel colder than you anyway.

This is where I'm coming from. Biology, respect and admiration are in play, but there is a lot that should be said for the biological element involved.

BTW, I've run this by crazed feminists (as opposed to the reasonable ones, with whom I've had a more changeable relationship) and they just yell at me. Well, political correctness be damned, because we're built differently.

Now, I may have put that rather glibly. There seems to be two categories of feminist, ignoring radicals. There's the sort who believe that there is no inherent discrepancy in a persons worth as a result of their gender and there's the sort who say that men and women should be considered identical. When I refer to reasonable feminists, I am referring to the former, of which I consider myself one. The latter group, however, is just insane; those are the people who yell about doors being held open.

 

[Delicious]

offer a lady your coat if she's cold: there are biological reasons for her to feel colder than you anyway.

This is where I'm coming from. Biology, respect and admiration are in play, but there is a lot that should be said for the biological element involved.

BTW, I've run this by crazed feminists (as opposed to the reasonable ones, with whom I've had a more changeable relationship) and they just yell at me. Well, political correctness be damned, because we're built differently.

Now, I may have put that rather glibly. There seems to be two categories of feminist, ignoring radicals. There's the sort who believe that there is no inherent discrepancy in a persons worth as a result of their gender and there's the sort who say that men and women should be considered identical. When I refer to reasonable feminists, I am referring to the former, of which I consider myself one. The latter group, however, is just insane; those are the people who yell about doors being held open.

And with that, I have a solution.

We should invent a sort of door that permanently remains open, thus invalidating this whole issue at its very core.

After all, if doors are only opened by men then doors must be sexist.

 

[Izakflashman]

I was raised by my parents to be a gentleman(Opening doors, Helping whenever possible, etc.), a rare thing nowadays. I have been told that I was being sexist because I refuse to hit a girl. It's not like i don't view them as equals or anything, I very much respect them. What do you think?

Punch a girl in the face then ask them if they think thats fair or not.

 

[Shade Jackrabbit]

Hmm. It's certainly a lot to think about, and it really does depend on what you mean by acting like a gentleman. I can certainly see where the special treatment thing could be considered sexist, since there is an assumption of incapability on the part of the woman.

I hold the door open for everyone. Does that make me bisexual?

Funny you should say that. I view myself as being a gentleman, but I act about it somewhat differently. Having grown up in situations where I've been weaker than everyone I know (hell, I've yet to meet a girl my age who's weaker than me) I never really see women or men as being explicitly more or less capable. As such I tend to extend my gentleman-ness to anyone, regardless of sex. The interesting thing though is that I've actually gotten weird looks and people questioning my sexuality upon my assistance to guys. That's likely just adolescent homophobia, but even so I've questioned whether there's a social stigma of either being an ass or being a gentleman to women only.

(Course, seeing as how I really never cared if I was seen as gay/bi/heterosexual, this never stopped me. Huzzah for non-sexist gentlemanly actions!)

I guess to sum up, some ways of being a gentleman are sexist, others aren't. Yet it's possible that there is a social sexism being ingrained into gentleman by their non-gentleman peers, which means that perhaps the problem is not in the "code" as much as it may seem.

 

[Finnboghi]

It doesn't really matter what you do; for being a man, someone will say you're wrong.

Feminism is a terrible thing.

Seriously as a female, what you just said is really insulting. Feminism is responsible for getting women almost equal rights in the work place as well as the right to vote. I agree that it is taken to the extreme in some cases, but it is truly a good thing and not remotely terrible.

On topic: I don't think it's sexist. I appreciate a guy who holds doors and such. I try to do the same in return. I think it's polite.

Then why is it that nearly every law in place holds a double standard?

Feminists have changed the western world to the point where men fear to be gentlemen, as they can be (and often are) arrested for doing so.

In my books, when someone sets out to achieve equality, and ends up fucking over the 'opposition', something is horribly, horribly wrong.

 

[Maze1125]

Being a gentleman to women, but not to men, (which is usually the implication of calling yourself a gentleman) is sexist.

You should be polite to everyone and you shouldn't hit anyone.
Giving women special treatment just because they're women is sexist, practically by definition.

 

[AntiAntagonist]

If you only do it for one sex then it is sexist...

I hold doors open for either sex if I think they plan to go through.

Maze1125 beat me to it.

 

[dwightsteel]

It doesn't really matter what you do; for being a man, someone will say you're wrong.

Feminism is a terrible thing.

Seriously as a female, what you just said is really insulting. Feminism is responsible for getting women almost equal rights in the work place as well as the right to vote. I agree that it is taken to the extreme in some cases, but it is truly a good thing and not remotely terrible.

On topic: I don't think it's sexist. I appreciate a guy who holds doors and such. I try to do the same in return. I think it's polite.

Then why is it that nearly every law in place holds a double standard?

Feminists have changed the western world to the point where men fear to be gentlemen, as they can be (and often are) arrested for doing so.

In my books, when someone sets out to achieve equality, and ends up fucking over the 'opposition', something is horribly, horribly wrong.

You are seriously stereotyping the feminist movement, my friend. And in what instance has a person got arrested for being a gentlman? I think we might have 2 differing views on that particular subject.


Yes, treating women like a dainty flower is a mostly outdated notion (what can I say? a lot of chicks dig it), being a "gentleman" is simply common courtesy and should be upheld regardless of sex.

 

[Finnboghi]

It doesn't really matter what you do; for being a man, someone will say you're wrong.

Feminism is a terrible thing.

Seriously as a female, what you just said is really insulting. Feminism is responsible for getting women almost equal rights in the work place as well as the right to vote. I agree that it is taken to the extreme in some cases, but it is truly a good thing and not remotely terrible.

On topic: I don't think it's sexist. I appreciate a guy who holds doors and such. I try to do the same in return. I think it's polite.

Then why is it that nearly every law in place holds a double standard?

Feminists have changed the western world to the point where men fear to be gentlemen, as they can be (and often are) arrested for doing so.

In my books, when someone sets out to achieve equality, and ends up fucking over the 'opposition', something is horribly, horribly wrong.

You are seriously stereotyping the feminist movement, my friend. And in what instance has a person got arrested for being a gentlman? I think we might have 2 differing views on that particular subject.


Yes, treating women like a dainty flower is a mostly outdated notion (what can I say? a lot of chicks dig it), being a "gentleman" is simply common courtesy and should be upheld regardless of sex.

Namely, it's abuse.

Even if a man is being abused and not defending himself (as in no verbal, physical, or emotional defense), if the law gets involved, the man will be arrested. Even if he phoned the police.

Another is the legal definition of rape.

As the law sees it, it's virtually impossible for a woman to be charged with rape, unless she expressly set out to be charged.

I'd say something's a little off-kilter.

 

[Kazturkey]

When a feminist says equality she means Women's rights. Hell, here in Ireland there was a messed up case where a woman had like half a dozen proven cases of child neglect and one count of rape (She raped her own son) and she got off with SEVEN YEARS. Over here a man would be in for fifty minimum.

 

[Syphonz]

no it isn't, but some ungrateful cunts will see it the other way.

 

[rainman2203]

I think being a gentleman is sexist, but in a positive way. Think about it- you're treating women differently than you would men, and therefore segregating people based on their sex. Sexism is always cast in a bad light, and rightly so, but there are often times when it is best to treat women differently. Keeping chivalry alive since '89!

 

[dwightsteel]

It doesn't really matter what you do; for being a man, someone will say you're wrong.

Feminism is a terrible thing.

Seriously as a female, what you just said is really insulting. Feminism is responsible for getting women almost equal rights in the work place as well as the right to vote. I agree that it is taken to the extreme in some cases, but it is truly a good thing and not remotely terrible.

On topic: I don't think it's sexist. I appreciate a guy who holds doors and such. I try to do the same in return. I think it's polite.

Then why is it that nearly every law in place holds a double standard?

Feminists have changed the western world to the point where men fear to be gentlemen, as they can be (and often are) arrested for doing so.

In my books, when someone sets out to achieve equality, and ends up fucking over the 'opposition', something is horribly, horribly wrong.

You are seriously stereotyping the feminist movement, my friend. And in what instance has a person got arrested for being a gentlman? I think we might have 2 differing views on that particular subject.


Yes, treating women like a dainty flower is a mostly outdated notion (what can I say? a lot of chicks dig it), being a "gentleman" is simply common courtesy and should be upheld regardless of sex.

Namely, it's abuse.

Even if a man is being abused and not defending himself (as in no verbal, physical, or emotional defense), if the law gets involved, the man will be arrested. Even if he phoned the police.

Another is the legal definition of rape.

As the law sees it, it's virtually impossible for a woman to be charged with rape, unless she expressly set out to be charged.

I'd say something's a little off-kilter.

Okay, first off none of those are "gentlemanly" traits, and secondly the second part just plain not true. My buddy's girlfriend spent a few nights in jail for kicking the crap out of him not 2 weeks ago. The legal system isn't perfect, granted, but it's not out to just back up the women. You can talk all you want about how women are trying to overthrow men, but that argument will never hold water when many women are still making 60 cents on the dollar to a man.

 

[sirdanrhodes]

I was raised by my parents to be a gentleman(Opening doors, Helping whenever possible, etc.), a rare thing nowadays.

I have been called sexist for holding a door open for a woman before.

 

[Kevvers]

No. Well.. it might be if you're only doing to ogle a shapely backside.

 

[ohellynot]

It doesn't really matter what you do; for being a man, someone will say you're wrong.

Feminism is a terrible thing.

If you try to defend yourself, they always have the perfect thing to say to shoo you down.
It's uncanny

 

[Johnn Johnston]

No, but that hasn't stopped me being accused of being a sexist. Oddly enough, it was by the one woman in the group of eight that I was holding the door open for.

 

[Kogarian]

Funny you should say that. I view myself as being a gentleman, but I act about it somewhat differently. Having grown up in situations where I've been weaker than everyone I know (hell, I've yet to meet a girl my age who's weaker than me) I never really see women or men as being explicitly more or less capable. As such I tend to extend my gentleman-ness to anyone, regardless of sex. The interesting thing though is that I've actually gotten weird looks and people questioning my sexuality upon my assistance to guys. That's likely just adolescent homophobia, but even so I've questioned whether there's a social stigma of either being an ass or being a gentleman to women only.

(Course, seeing as how I really never cared if I was seen as gay/bi/heterosexual, this never stopped me. Huzzah for non-sexist gentlemanly actions!)

I've never had anyone look at me weird for being polite. Most older people smile at me and thank me, while younger adults make their kids come to me and say "Thank you" if I held it open for them.

I guess that's one good thing I can say about the area I live in, most people are decently polite and well mannered.