Poll: Should I keep trying?

[Arkhangelsk]

You're not a fool, you're just hopeful and loving, more than most people. But even that can be a bad thing at some points. I would leave her if I were you. You deserve better than how she's treating you. Every person should have someone that loves them back, and she doesn't seem to do that. Tell her that if she doesn't change, you'll leave her. From what I read, it seems she thinks it's okay to fool around with other, so you'll need to tell her that you won't put up with this bullshit. As for the children, many kids have been raised to be kind and successful persons even though they're parents are divorced, but I'd try to get full custody, since she's a terrible influence for them. Move on, and find someone who loves you as much as you love her. I'm not you, but if that shit happened to me, I'd call her a whore, and get the divorce papers so fast she wouldn't have time to give her lover's pants down. I'm so sick of people cheating and keeping secrets from their loved ones. She vowed to love you for better and worse, and she broke that oath and stabbed you in the back with a bayonet gun and pulled the trigger.

 

[Crazy Elf]

We have both had others before we got together, if that is what you mean.
And no, I have never cheated on her.

And we are both 22.

Wait... if you've been together for five and a half years, and you're only 22, that means you were having kids at the age of 17, and that would be when you got married, too.

Seriously, what did you expect? Get married at 17 a live happily ever after without serious identity issues springing up later on down the track? Did you really think that at 17 the both of you had your shit together enough to seriously commit to and understand what a relationship was all about?

Is this really a surprise?

 

[Brotherofwill]

You should leave her, plain and simple as that.

If she realizes her mistakes then there is a good chance of her changing, maybe you could even have a slightly decent friendship for the sake of your children later on. The sooner you quit, the less damaging it will be for all parties involved, especially your children.

I wouldn't call you a fool, but surely Mr.T would disagree here.

 

[fenrizz]

We have both had others before we got together, if that is what you mean.
And no, I have never cheated on her.

And we are both 22.

Wait... if you've been together for five and a half years, and you're only 22, that means you were having kids at the age of 17, and that would be when you got married, too.

Seriously, what did you expect? Get married at 17 a live happily ever after without serious identity issues springing up later on down the track? Did you really think that at 17 the both of you had your shit together enough to seriously commit to and understand what a relationship was all about?

Is this really a surprise?

We'd just turned 19 when we had our first son. And we aren't married either, was engaged to be married this fall, but it looks like that ain't happening.

And yes, I actually did believe that it would last. We've gone through alot of shit together, but always stayed by eachother's side (well, at least I did, but I diden't know about the affairs until a few weeks ago).
I am, or was, really commited. Guess part of me thought that if I was, the she must be too..
Guess I'm pretty naive, but I really did believe her when she said forever.

 

[Crazy Elf]

We'd just turned 19 when we had our first son. And we aren't married either, was engaged to be married this fall, but it looks like that ain't happening.

So your first son is three, not five? Your first post is horribly difficult to decipher.

And yes, I actually did believe that it would last. We've gone through alot of shit together, but always stayed by eachother's side (well, at least I did, but I diden't know about the affairs until a few weeks ago).
I am, or was, really commited. Guess part of me thought that if I was, the she must be too..
Guess I'm pretty naive, but I really did believe her when she said forever.

Yep, you're naive. Most people don't have their shit together until they're much older than you are now. You can work on the relationship if you want, but it's not going to be all sunshine and rainbows. In fact, it's going to be totally fucked until you both sort your shit out and grow the fuck up. She needs to stop thinking that she can run around and fuck whoever she wants without consequence, and you need to stop thinking that she's the love of your life and it's a magical adventure.

You want the relationship to work? Then you have to work really bloody hard in order to get it working, and you have to do that all the time.

Welcome to the real world, dude. It's hard work all the time.

 

[fenrizz]

We'd just turned 19 when we had our first son. And we aren't married either, was engaged to be married this fall, but it looks like that ain't happening.

So your first son is three, not five? Your first post is horribly difficult to decipher.

And yes, I actually did believe that it would last. We've gone through alot of shit together, but always stayed by eachother's side (well, at least I did, but I diden't know about the affairs until a few weeks ago).
I am, or was, really commited. Guess part of me thought that if I was, the she must be too..
Guess I'm pretty naive, but I really did believe her when she said forever.

Yep, you're naive. Most people don't have their shit together until they're much older than you are now. You can work on the relationship if you want, but it's not going to be all sunshine and rainbows. In fact, it's going to be totally fucked until you both sort your shit out and grow the fuck up. She needs to stop thinking that she can run around and fuck whoever she wants without consequence, and you need to stop thinking that she's the love of your life and it's a magical adventure.

You want the relationship to work? Then you have to work really bloody hard in order to get it working, and you have to do that all the time.

Welcome to the real world, dude. It's hard work all the time.

Yeah,sorry about that. the oldest is 3 years old and the youngest is 1 1/2 years old.

I guess you're right. And I know it will be hard work, but when she ain't even trying then I guess it's all over.
Hard to admit, because I really want it to work out (in the end).
Just hope I can keep my nerve when she comes around next time, and tell her no.
It doesn't sound too hard, but she knows all too well which buttons to push to get me to say yes yet another time.
/sigh
L'amor eyh?

 

[BlackJack47]

Go for it, only YOU can make this decision.

 

[Damien the Pigeon]

She's the love of your life? Maybe, but you sure as hell aren't the love of hers. Think about this: would you ever cheat on her? Could you even think about it? Well, sadly enough, she could. She doesn't give you the respect that a relationship requires, and that's certainly not a good influence on your kids.

I say, for the sake of your children, keep her away. Watching your mom become a "revolving door" can be traumatizing for a child.

 

[Fingerprint]

No, I'm afraid that she isn't worth it. You're not a fool for loving her, that can't be helped. However, as bad as this may sound, I do believe you're a fool for hoping she'll change. She has broken the trust too often. I just hope for the kids sake that you get custody - you seem like a much better role model.

 

[Zeldadudes]

Your children will love you more if you do what's best for them.

 

[Washboard]

it sounds to me that while you may love her she dosent feel the same way about you...sorry to say it, but she obv dosent deserve your love...move on and find someone who'll actually feel the same way about you as you do about her.

 

[incubus42]

Just hope I can keep my nerve when she comes around next time, and tell her no.
It doesn't sound too hard, but she knows all too well which buttons to push to get me to say yes yet another time.
/sigh
L'amor eyh?

Try to see it through her eyes.
If she feels like she wants to be with a nice guy (that's you), she just asks you for forgiveness. It's actually not forgiveness that she asks for, it's more that she takes you back, because she knows that her forgiveness-request is going to be granted. She is completely in control.
I bet she feel good about herself, that she can you pick up a guy, fuck him, then go to you (the nice guy), tell you how good the orgasm felt and in the end still be forgiven.

 

[Monkfish Acc.]

Gather enough evidence so you can keep her out of your kids lives, and leave.
If you still care, maybe you could also use that evidence to get her help.
She will not change. Forget that you love her, and think of your kids.
Maybe you're willing to accept that kind of bullshit, but your kids don't deserve that.

Sorry for rehashing what's already been said, but I cannot stress enough that you need to get your kids out of there.
No good will come from that woman being in their lives.

 

[incubus42]

96% of all people here think that you shouldn't stay because of her. It doesn't get much clearer than that...

 

[fenrizz]

96% of all people here think that you shouldn't stay because of her. It doesn't get much clearer than that...

hehe, I guess not.
Now I just wait for her to come so I can tell her to fuck off.
And hopefully I won't be begging her to forgive me after 5minutes...
Damn, typing that makes me feel really pathetic, kinda sad..
urgh..
I really need to get her out of my life, so I can get back to having a life...

 

[Glerken]

96% of all people here think that you shouldn't stay because of her. It doesn't get much clearer than that...

hehe, I guess not.
Now I just wait for her to come so I can tell her to fuck off.
And hopefully I won't be begging her to forgive me after 5minutes...
Damn, typing that makes me feel really pathetic, kinda sad..
urgh..
I really need to get her out of my life, so I can get back to having a life...

You do need to end it.
But try to do it on a positive note, so saying fuck off may not be the best way to do it.

 

[incubus42]

I think you should be harsh. If you try to do it in a nice way, it might come across as insecure.

I think you are a clever man and you can do that!
Stick to the decision that you have just made

 

[fenrizz]

96% of all people here think that you shouldn't stay because of her. It doesn't get much clearer than that...

hehe, I guess not.
Now I just wait for her to come so I can tell her to fuck off.
And hopefully I won't be begging her to forgive me after 5minutes...
Damn, typing that makes me feel really pathetic, kinda sad..
urgh..
I really need to get her out of my life, so I can get back to having a life...

You do need to end it.
But try to do it on a positive note, so saying fuck off may not be the best way to do it.

No, ofc not, it's just a figure of speech. I would never do it like that, even if she deserves it.
I still hope we can be friends, 'cus she still is my bestfriend.
But that might be asking a little to much of myself.

I think you should be harsh. If you try to do it in a nice way, it might come across as insecure.

I think you are a clever man and you can do that!
Stick to the decision that you have just made

I shall try my best. Harsh i can do, but just plain evil is beyond my capability.
I'm to goddamn nice i guess

 

[Kinguendo]

Sounds like alot of people "love" her, dude. Sounds like she is screwing you around and seems to think she can get you back anytime she wants... and it sounds like she might be right, unless you just take the kids and go... thats not the right environment for kids to be brought up in, personal experience on that last one.

 

[NotAPie]

96% of all people here think that you shouldn't stay because of her. It doesn't get much clearer than that...

hehe, I guess not.
Now I just wait for her to come so I can tell her to fuck off.
And hopefully I won't be begging her to forgive me after 5minutes...
Damn, typing that makes me feel really pathetic, kinda sad..
urgh..
I really need to get her out of my life, so I can get back to having a life...

You do need to end it.
But try to do it on a positive note, so saying fuck off may not be the best way to do it.

No, ofc not, it's just a figure of speech. I would never do it like that, even if she deserves it.
I still hope we can be friends, 'cus she still is my bestfriend.
But that might be asking a little to much of myself.

I think you should be harsh. If you try to do it in a nice way, it might come across as insecure.

I think you are a clever man and you can do that!
Stick to the decision that you have just made

I shall try my best. Harsh i can do, but just plain evil is beyond my capability.
I'm to goddamn nice i guess

XD Too nice huh?
Same here :3