Poll: Virginity. purity, innocence

[A Weakgeek]

One thing that always made me wonder was the internets obsession over virginity.

Once a partner loses their virginity they are somehow unpure and not dependable. Because they had sex with someone else before, they will sleep around and be unfaithful. Theres also the Nosophobic idea of fearing having sex with non virgins because of STDs. Maybe others want to find a timid and a submissive partner, and think virginity is a part of that. Some are religious. Others have performance anxiety, and think virgins will have lower expectations.

So, fellow escapists. Would you prefer to end your first night together with a bit of blood? How important is virginity for you? If it isn't, what do you think about the people who do value it?

[small]I know what you're thinking. Please don't. The OP was gender neutral for a reason.[/small]

 

[Ace O'Hagen]

the first time with anyone is awkward, virgin or not ... that's just the way life is.

 

[A Weakgeek]

the first time with anyone is awkward, virgin or not ... that's just the way life is.

And how appropriate that this would be your first post on the escapist. Congratulations for popping your forum cherry.

Welcome, read the rules, have fun stay out of the basement yadda yadda...

 

[Ace O'Hagen]

the first time with anyone is awkward, virgin or not ... that's just the way life is.

And how appropriate that this would be your first post on the escapist. Congratulations for popping your forum cherry.

Welcome, read the rules, have fun stay out of the basement yadda yadda...

what can I say, I know how to make an entrance ... thanks

 

[Dirge Eterna]

I would say that virginity is not a necessity. I was a virgin when I got married and so was my wife. If we had sex before we got married I would not have married her because she was terrible at it and she would complain about it hurting her almost every time we did it. I am average size but she was 4'11 and I am over 6 feet tall so I would usually hit her cervix. She didn't enjoy sex and was taught by her religious parents that it was nasty and only for producing children. She had no desire to experiment even with something as simple as sex toys. We ended up getting divorced and one of the biggest reasons was that we would only have sex tops once a month and sometimes for even longer periods. I was 19 I wanted sex every day, many times a day.

So honestly I would prefer a woman who knows what she is doing and is comfortable with her sexuality and sex life over a virgin. It is an overblown concept that is pushed by religious people as a way to control their children through fear and shame.

 

[Ace O'Hagen]

It is an overblown concept that is pushed by religious people as a way to control their children through fear and shame.

this probably cannot be stressed enough. it's why so many sex crimes go unreported in religiously conservative communities

 

[A Weakgeek]

It is an overblown concept that is pushed by religious people as a way to control their children through fear and shame.

Its not only religious people however. For example, if you go to certain sites like 4chan thats frequently visited by certain demographic (known for their specific type of facial hair), you can see that some, mostly... unsocial people also a huge fixation on virginity, which i doubt stems from religion.

 

[Dirge Eterna]

It is an overblown concept that is pushed by religious people as a way to control their children through fear and shame.

Its not only religious people however. For example, if you go to certain sites like 4chan thats frequently visited by certain demographic (known for their specific type of facial hair), you can see that some, mostly... unsocial people also a huge fixation on virginity, which i doubt stems from religion.

Yeah I can't explain that one, I guess they are coming from an overblown personal ego.

 

[Thaluikhain]

It is an overblown concept that is pushed by religious people as a way to control their children through fear and shame.

Its not only religious people however. For example, if you go to certain sites like 4chan thats frequently visited by certain demographic (known for their specific type of facial hair), you can see that some, mostly... unsocial people also a huge fixation on virginity, which i doubt stems from religion.

Dunno...they've all grown up in a society that's been heavily influenced by religion. Same way people say stuff like "Thank God I'm an atheist", because it's jsut one of those things.

 

[A Weakgeek]

It is an overblown concept that is pushed by religious people as a way to control their children through fear and shame.

Its not only religious people however. For example, if you go to certain sites like 4chan thats frequently visited by certain demographic (known for their specific type of facial hair), you can see that some, mostly... unsocial people also a huge fixation on virginity, which i doubt stems from religion.

Dunno...they've all grown up in a society that's been heavily influenced by religion. Same way people say stuff like "Thank God I'm an atheist", because it's jsut one of those things.

Well, I guess thats possible. It is true that christian morals are very influencal in the western world, reagardless of ones religiousness.

 

[Boris Goodenough]

Well, I guess thats possible. It is true that christian morals are very influencal in the western world, reagardless of ones religiousness.

I don't think we can single out the Christian faith here in that regard.

 

[J Tyran]

Doesn't matter, STDs shouldn't be a huge problem. People are using some protection right? Right? No? well fix that unplanned pregnancies can derail both of your lives and picking up some unwanted infections is something you want to avoid, you have seen how they diagnose and treat them? Lets just say they shove a cocktail umbrella somewhere one should never be shoved. (totally denying that I have personal experience here... not me nooo)

If your partner is a virgin put some effort into making it comfortable and a bit special, if they are not just have some fun. Maybe some people who are virgins have anxiety about going with someone who isn't a virgin for their first time because they feel embarrassed and would rather fumble together with someone who lacks experience? Just speculating, going with someone who has an active sex life and been with partners of all kinds of experience and ability might seem intimidating.

For example, if you go to certain sites like 4chan thats frequently visited by certain demographic (known for their specific type of facial hair), you can see that some, mostly... unsocial people also a huge fixation on virginity, which i doubt stems from religion.

It probably stems from the intimidation factor and fear of being with someone that might have certain expectations of performance. In a good relationship its usually no problem because there is always time and some encouragement goes a long way but in casual meetings things are a bit different.

 

[Angie7F]

Knowledge is power.
I mean, life is too short and the human body is a amazing thing.
I would rather explore it than be frigid.

 

[Yopaz]

Honestly, I don't give a fuck. Being with someone who has done it before and got some experience might be beneficial at times, but changing partner basically puts you on a virgin state with your new partner anyway as far as experience goes. I'd be happy with either a virgin or someone more experienced as long as I liked the person.

However it should be said that I wouldn't want to end the night with blood involved. That's for when I am ending the relationship.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

I think if you're over eighteen and you're expecting your partner to be a virgin you may be setting your standards a touch high. That said, my first girlfriend and I were both virgins and it meant that I didn't feel like I was being judged at all, but on the other hand if I told any girl that I was with I was a virgin, I would hope they wouldn't judge me too harshly.

Well, I guess thats possible. It is true that christian morals are very influencal in the western world, reagardless of ones religiousness.

I don't think we can single out the Christian faith here in that regard.

I understand your point that other religions preach similar stuff about virginity, but in the context of the West it's fair, being the dominant religion and whatnot for centuries means that it's shaped a lot of culture, religious or not.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

I think it's a kind of ridiculous standard in the modern age. I lost my virginity to a man that I was later engaged to but he turned nasty and violent.

I split up with him. Is that my fault? Nope. So I should be worth less because of that? Doesn't really seem fair.

 

[xplosive59]

It depends, if you are 20 or so I don't give a shit as alot of people have already lost their virginity at that age. However if you have just turned 16 (which is the age of consent in the UK) and you have lost your virginity already then I am gonna think of you less. Also I think baggage is more of a turn off, my first girlfriend never stopped going on about her ex's and it was a horrible experience.

 

[Boris Goodenough]

I understand your point that other religions preach similar stuff about virginity, but in the context of the West it's fair, being the dominant religion and whatnot for centuries means that it's shaped a lot of culture, religious or not.

Fair does I just meant they aren't the only ones in the west that teach/tought such ideals.

 

[Boris Goodenough]

However if you have just turned 16 and you have lost your virginity already then I am gonna think of you less.

Why?

Also I think baggage is more of a turn off, my first girlfriend never stopped going on about her ex's and it was a horrible experience.

That means she still had feelings for them, one way or another, THAT is the baggage not her experiences with them.