Poll: Virginity. purity, innocence

[Lovely Mixture]

Virginity should not matter, safe sex is what should matter.

It is an overblown concept that is pushed by religious people as a way to control their children through fear and shame.

Its not only religious people however. For example, if you go to certain sites like 4chan thats frequently visited by certain demographic (known for their specific type of facial hair), you can see that some, mostly... unsocial people also a huge fixation on virginity, which i doubt stems from religion.

Yeah there's no denying that there are people with those messed up values on 4chan, the problem is you can't tell who's joking or not.

Because you will find people on /a/ who utterly despise Japan's obsession with purity. I don't say that just because I'm one of them, there have been some lengthy discussions on it.

Don't mean to contradict you or anything, just adding my two cents.

 

[Lord Garnaat]

The way I see sex before marriage is this: I would prefer people didn't, but there isn't anything that can be done to stop it. If I met a girl whom I genuinely loved, and it turned out she wasn't a virgin, I would look past it because it isn't overly important. I feel that sleeping around is an unnecessary complication, but I wouldn't let it get in the way of things that are more crucial to a happy relationship than that.

 

[xplosive59]

However if you have just turned 16 and you have lost your virginity already then I am gonna think of you less.

Why?

Also I think baggage is more of a turn off, my first girlfriend never stopped going on about her ex's and it was a horrible experience.

That means she still had feelings for them, one way or another, THAT is the baggage not her experiences with them.

1. Ok maybe 16 is a bit high, but if someone had already lost their virginity pre-16 it just seems 'off'. Most of the cases I know of have been when an 18 year old guy goes out with a 15 year old (which is already ridiculous to me) and pretty much uses them for sex, and in most of these cases the guy is a loser who cannot get anyone his own age.

2. I didn't say that, I said that emotional baggage is far more of a turn off than if someone had already lost their virginity.

 

[The Lugz]

you heard that right, EVEN VIRGINS SHOULD BE TESTED FOR STI's.

yes! another VERY GOOD point that too many people miss, you should go for an sti infection test BEFORE becoming sexually active AND every couple years even if you don't have any symptoms for all the time you ARE sexually active.
knowing is literally half the battle. most of them are curable, the rest are manageable. and many of them can lead to permanent damage and infertility if left untreated.

you should go and look up the symptoms and signs ( pictures ) of sti's in your favourite search engine, and if you think you have any of them go get it checked out... IMMEDIATELY!!!

here's a list:
http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/std/std/

 

[Elementary - Dear Watson]

I valued my own virginity... and by that I mean I couldn't get any, and then when I was finally in a relationship that seemed to be going somewhere we slept together. (We then were together 4 and a half years)

I don't think it's an important thing, she had been with other guys before, but from experiences I think that people should take control of their own 'first time'. I think the first time should be something you will remember, with someone you are comfortable with and won't regret. I don't regret my first, but one of my ex's lost hers in a wood at 15 to a guy who wasn't one of her friends at school and hasn't spoken to since... and that kinda ruined the experience for her until she met someone she actually cared about...

 

[A Weakgeek]

Virginity should not matter, safe sex is what should matter.

It is an overblown concept that is pushed by religious people as a way to control their children through fear and shame.

Its not only religious people however. For example, if you go to certain sites like 4chan thats frequently visited by certain demographic (known for their specific type of facial hair), you can see that some, mostly... unsocial people also a huge fixation on virginity, which i doubt stems from religion.

Yeah there's no denying that there are people with those messed up values on 4chan, the problem is you can't tell who's joking or not.

Because you will find people on /a/ who utterly despise Japan's obsession with purity. I don't say that just because I'm one of them, there have been some lengthy discussions on it.

Don't mean to contradict you or anything, just adding my two cents.

Thats a valid point, and i agree, alot of people most likely are trolling about it. However the sheer amount of times i run into it, makes me think it really is a view that some people there geniouinely hold.

 

[DeltaEdge]

I would personally probably be a tad intimidated being with a non-virgin my first time, judgement and what-not, but aside from that, I don't think any less of someone who is not a virgin. As for having many sexual partners, I think it's kind of gross, but I still don't look down on people like that. I can't say that I look highly on people who aren't able to take care of themselves, let alone a child, that engage in sexual activities regularly, i.e., people under 18, or people who simply cannot afford to have a child, but risk it regularly by having lots of sex, it just doesn't seem very smart to me. Even then, I wouldn't be looking down on them really, just disappointed by that particular aspect of them.

 

[NeutralDrow]

I'd prefer someone with experience, or at the very least someone who masturbates a lot. It's not like I'm going have a clue what I'm doing the first time, so it's kind of a selfish desire to not also have to help someone else work through that (even someone in the self-love category would have an idea of what works for them, which would help immensely), and I'd honestly expect someone with experience to be more understanding of someone's first.

I also do not have a high opinion of people who value virginity. Mostly because those who cling to it where I'm from <url=http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/the-purity-culture>also cling to a ton of other horrible ideas, but also because even those who don't have those kind of religious ideals cling to it because of whacked-out misogynistic ideas of "contamination" and "used goods" (and yes, it hurts men, too, but not to the same extent).

With perhaps an exception for underage sex, since there are legit reasons to avoid that beyond some "purity" ideal.

 

[Techno Squidgy]

Of course Virginity is important! How else would we be able to summon demons? By using filthy non-virgin blood? Please, Demons have taste!

Though seriously, it doesn't actually matter - the only thing that's important to note about virgins is the fact that they are inexperienced and tend to lack confidence due to this (as I say, 'tend to', meaning 'not all of them'). My own personal preference is 'female' in terms of sexual endeavors - level of experience is a non-issue, and someone who is 'experienced' isn't going to make me go 'AAHHHH UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN! STAY AWAY FROM MY JUNK, FILTHY HARLET!'

You... You ninja'd my entire post. God damn. Even the demon summoning joke. I like you. Just don't do it again.

 

[Kyber]

I can understand the protection of virginity at a young age for mental health, but it goes beyond me why someone would want to keep it for until they get married.

 

[A Weakgeek]

Of course Virginity is important! How else would we be able to summon demons? By using filthy non-virgin blood? Please, Demons have taste!

I think people are too assuming in this respect. I mean if they wanted virgins that much, why do they have all the succubi roaming around?

 

[PeterMerkin69]

They might as well do away with the word innocence when we've already got ignorance to describe that condition.

As long as it's not someone who's fucking everything with a pulse because they have some pathological need for attention, then I think it's best to get someone who's been around the block a few hundred/thousand times. They'll know how to please you better, they'll know whether or not they really want to be with you, and temptation to stray won't be as strong because they already know what's out there rather than wondering what could have been, or what it could have been like to such and such. It's not magic, there's no fireworks, it is what it is, and it's going to be almost the same with anyone else after a while. At least that was my experience. So, we see that experience is good in the here and now, and in the long run, if you're thattaway inclined.

I think the virgin/low expectations hypothesis is a good one, but there also may be a level of sadism involved. I've never had a virgin myself but I do like watching the porn clips with a lot of pain, moaning and blood in them, and the idea of powerfully stripping away someone's innocence appeals to me. Of course you can still do that with more experienced girls, I've gotten my girlfriends to do things for me that they've never done before, and it's probably just as good, although I won't know for sure until I find out for myself.

 

[A Weakgeek]

but there also may be a level of sadism involved. I've never had a virgin myself but I do like watching the porn clips with a lot of pain, moaning and blood in them, and the idea of powerfully stripping away someone's innocence appeals to me.

Never thought about it that way. Not exactly a pleasant thought but makes alot of sense.

 

[grey_space]

One of my girlfriends was a virgin. I myself hated the experience. The pressure of it being a person's first time was a lot. You are after all the doorway into the sexual world for this person.

You can't beat a woman having the confidence in telling/showing you what she wants. And you only get that confidence and self knowledge with experience.

So ya knowledge is power!

~for me anyway

 

[Absimilliard]

"Innocence" is sweet, but I prefer experience, and the confidence that comes with it. (That having been said, I'm really careful about protection; I have no desire for STDs or unplanned kids...)

 

[Mr. Underson]

I'd prefer a partner with a bit of experience. I figure someone should know what they're doing.

 

[Anomynous 167]

I'd value innocence, if only because I want to appear wiser than my partner. I have an inferiority complex.

 

[DaedricDuke]

Being 16 and a virgin I shall throw my purple hat into the ring. The impression I have gained from my own personal thoughts and friends is that there is a universal anxious fear of sex. Our hormones are all over the place and only now are we realising we're not kids anymore. The society we live in puts these pressures onto us and we do kind of fear not living up to that expectation or regretting it in the future. (Some of my school mates are slightly terrified by the intimacy of sex)
There are barely any religious pressures as strictly religious kids seem to be hard to come by, but the society itself of scientific lectures on sex and STDs reminding to use protection. Also personally I would prefer if my partner was also a virgin as I would feel that emotional connection.

 

[laraghboy]

I think your own virginity is really the only one that should matter, and there is a lot of pressure about losing it and it has to be "perfect" blah blah....

(But if you're the experienced one and the other girl/guy is a virgin, than you should treat it as your 1st time again. It's a big thing for them so you should at least try to make it special)

But really it's the biggest deal in the world, right until the moment it's gone, then, not so much. I wish I could tell my younger self not to worry so much and it'll happen when it happens. It was enjoyable, no regrets from me, with a friend I had known for a while, I had fun, she had fun....definitely puts a little spring in your step the day after!

But, personally, there is a line between not being a virgin and doing every guy/girl that saunters past. One is ok and wouldn't bother me too much, the other makes me kinda wary!

 

[Nikki Byrd]

You test drive a car, why not a potential spouse?