I used to identify as polyamorous, but I think fundamentally it's a flawed concept
Not for the reasons most people will say - I still have an "open relationship" or whatever you want to call it, I just don't think it's polyamorous.
My problem with polyamory is that I've come to read it (or at least its public face, behind the scenes I know most people who are polyamorous aren't actually like this) as an attempt at making open relationships "respectable", not for the benefit of people who have them but for the benefit of people who are offended by the idea of casual sex.
It's an attempt to deflect the allegation of promiscuity, and I say deflect rather than counter because the allegation is still there. The argument is just "well, I'm certainly not a slut, I have serious and committed relationships which totally aren't about sex." I think that's the secret of the current popularity of the term, but it's also kind of bullshit.
You'll notice that most people who write about polyamory tend to claim they have been influenced by looking at relationships amongst gays and lesbians, yet there are very very few gay men or lesbians who identify as polyamorous. To make a huge generalization, gay people are more likely to have much more organic open relationships, or to view their partners as more like friends than special people with whom you have to acknowledge a deep romantic relationship.
Romantic love was built around the expectation of the two person couple. Keeping those expectations after you've abandoned the idea of the couple is stupid. You don't need to love someone to sleep with them, you don't even need to love someone to care about them or respect their feelings. Treat people organically according to the roles they fill in your life, there's no need to formalize it around this hideous structure whereby everyone has to be equally "loved".
Basically, the core values of polyamory (honesty, respect for people, treating people like human beings instead of objects) are great, I just don't understand why we still have to have this hysterical fixation on "love".
Yeah, anyway, I haven't explained this very well so feel free to bash my argument.. it might help me pull my thoughts together.