Poll: Would you date a transgendered person?

[Slayer_2]

I wouldn't want to be with someone so insecure and shallow that they feel the need to undergo hideous mutilations and lengthy hormone "treatments" to attempt a sex change. Instead they just come off across as a grotesque mix of two genders. If I craved dick, I'd go gay. Since I prefer vag, I'll stick with (and in) that as long as it keeps working for me. I'm not being transphobic, I'm judging your personality based off of your actions, which is completely fair and reasonable. Be happy with the body you have, unless you have some mutation or crippling injury, in which case, my sympathy.

Being trans isn't rooted in insecurity. It's a misalignment of physical body and your brains gender. If being happy with your body was how everyone lived, then people wouldn't undergo weight-loss surgery, lift weights (extensively), have other plastic surgeries, etc... many people are not trans undergo surgery to "correct" issues they have with themselves.

The diet industry is a billion (probably multi-billion) dollar a year industry. People are most definitely NOT content with their bodies... even people in shape are not completely, look at the fitness industry... another HUGE industry.

Life and existence is not so black and white as many people make it out to be, it would be nice if it were, but alas it is not.

There is a difference between being happy with your body as it is, and being fit. Now, I'm not saying you need to be super jacked, but at least keeping off too many extra pounds is good for your health in many ways. In our sedentary (and generally lazy) society, gyms prosper because people need to find a way to slow down the process of gaining weight. Lately, I've started to gain a few pounds (I blame swapping my daily bike commute for a daily drive commute), and I increased my exercise so I could avoid potential health issues. This does not compare at all to undergoing painful experimental surgery to have your genitalia changed.

If I woke up in a female body tomorrow (assuming no one noticed the switch), I'd be like "Oh, shit, what happened?" Then I'd get up and continue on with my day as usual, after a quick stop in front of the full-size mirror, of course, hahaha. Later that night, you'd find me at a lesbian bar or some such. Life goes on.

 

[StBishop]

The most resounding no I could possibly give.

Without being a massive "bro, dude" guy, never in a million years.

I don't mean to be offensive, I really don't, but I'm just not that open minded and I never will be.

irregardless

That's not a word. Regardless is a word. Irregardless is not a word. If it were, it would mean "Not regardless" as in, "taking in to regard".

It's the opposite of what you're trying to say and it's not a word.

So yeah.

[sub]I may have just fallen for a clever troll.[/sub]

 

[Panayjon]

I admit I chose the "I'm desperately lonely and would date anyone who would have me" option because its the 'funny' choice but also probably true. If I can't tell at a glance that the person is transgendered, I really wouldn't mind.

A long-term relationship? That's another thread entirely.

 

[AnarchistFish]

I have no personal issue with transgenders, so although I've never been put into this particular position, I see no reason why I'd say no.

 

[somonels]

Pre-op - no.
Post-op - Not. A. [modbot]. Chance.

irregardless

That's not a word. Regardless is a word. Irregardless is not a word. If it were, it would mean "Not regardless" as in, "taking in to regard".

It's the opposite of what you're trying to say and it's not a word.

So yeah.

[sub]I may have just fallen for a clever troll.[/sub]

Disregardless, as in 'disregard this reply'. No need to be so elaborate with not correcting a wrong negative prefix while making your own mistakes.

 

[PotluckBrigand]

At the risk of sounding totally gauche here, as long as they understand that nothing is...well.. I guess there's no delicate way to say it. Nothing is going inside me. Not a moral issue, just not interested. Beyond that, hell if they're a cool guy/girl and they like me and I like them back, I see no reason to let something like plumbing get in the way. The sink in my kitchen doesn't work, but I still live here, I just have to do my dishes in the bathroom. There's an analogy in there somewhere. Help yourselves.

 

[Fenris Frost]

Yup. Absolutely. Any gender, trans either way, I'm open for anything. What a waste of time to work in gender and sexuality binaries. There are more important traits, and traits more important by far than which gender they believe themselves to be, disparate from their physical bodies. I can't believe people even care about this stuff anymore.

 

[Belaam]

Meh. I've dated both men and women. If I liked the person, I don't think it would be an issue.

Now, as to whether or not they had gender reassignment, surgery might open some more concerns. I do tend to have red flags go up for cosmetic surgery. In practice, that has only been breast augmentation, and really just off one girl who had all sorts of body issues, got surgery, and had all sorts of new body issues. With her, I found the surgery indicative of bigger emotional/psychological issues. It was a sample size of one, but biased me a little toward others with cosmetic surgery. Of course, I don't think I would necessarily consider gender reassignment cosmetic. So I guess that doesn't really help the decision. ;p

Kind of a moot point as I've been in a committed relationship for 12 years now.

 

[Exocet]

I would not. I'm sure I could find a rational explanation, but right now, I'll stick with the tried and true: " ugh, no thanks"
It's not that I don't like them, it's just that I have a very simple taste when it comes to sexuality: women. The ones that were born women.

We can replicate looks, but not function. Sure they may look like what they want to be, act like what they want to be, but ultimately, they are never really what they want to be, not biologically at least.

Now, if you meant date as in go out as friends, I see no reason why not.

 

[Bloodtrozorx]

I cannot say with certainty that I could date a Transgendered individual and give 100% to the relationship, there would always be a little doubt and a little questioning in the back of my mind.

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

No. I would not. A "mTf" transgender is just a man with an unfortunate gender confusion who, instead of being given psychiatric help by his society was set lose to surgically mutilate himself.

Transgender is a different thing from homosexuality or bisexuality entirely despite what political correctness would have you believe. The only negative effects of sexual orientation are those stigmas created by bigoted members of society. For that reason, though they are abnormal (statistically out of the ordinary) mental states, they are in no way mental disorders, hurt nobody, and should be accepted. However, transgender is an abnormal mental state which causes the sufferer to hire a person to physically mutilate them. Ultimately, yes, it is their choice and if we took no actions to hinder people's choices: sure. However, a person suffering from documented depression is not allowed to purchase firearms because society has taken it upon themselves to stop them from doing what they want to do (end their life). Why would it be so wrong for society to stop transgenders from doing what they want (mutilate themselves irreparably)?

However, I guess this is a bit of a digression from the exact topic at hand but before I get back into a concise answer I will say this: I don't dislike transgender people. They have an unfortunate condition and I feel sorry for them.

However, first of all, an "mTf" is just a man who had his dick and balls lopped off and as a heterosexual male I would not be with another man, and second, I have dealt with too many mentally unstable people in my life up to this point. Not taking on another one.

I normally would not touch a post like this with a 40 foot pole, wwwwaaayyyyy to many opportunities for me to get in trouble so I won't outright argue with you about how I feel your viewpoint is incorrect...

That said, I just sincerely need to know the answer to this, because this is the sole reason I found your particular post so interesting... You do realize to a self-accepting trans-person the most inflammatory thing you said was "I feel sorry for them.", right?

in all serious, not flame bait, I probably won't even respond to your reply, but I gots to know this.

I don't particularly care what is inflammatory. I say what I believe is the truth and I express my own feelings and emotions. I do not do so in an intentionally inflammatory manner. However, if in the expression of what I think is true (in the case of the need for therapy) or of my emotions (sympathy for people whose psychological state forces them to need surgery to fundamentally alter their physical state) in a reasonable manner people are still inflamed that is of little consequence to me.

I would hope people are not offended, and I will try not to put my emotions offensively. But, if the thoughts in my mind are viewed as offensive in the mind of another, that is an issue for them to deal with unless they can explain to me why my thoughts are objectively wrong.

 

[Elate]

Considering we're talking transGENDER and not tranSEXUAL, which are completely different things.

Transexual being the typical "I used to be a [blah] then I had surgery now I'm a [blah]" who I would date, if they're attractive.

Transgender is someone who feels as through they're [blah] but are actually [blah]. Y'know the usual "I'm a male trapped in a female body" of vice versa, and frankly I can't be doing with someone like that, I'm a pretty effeminate guy, I'm also gay, but I'm quite sound in the knowledge that I am in fact male. Generally people like that(Ok I'm stereotyping, so sue me) have more deep emotional and/or mental problems, which generally create problems for the relationship. They can be the nicest of people, but if they aren't confident in themselves or their gender, I don't want to be having a relationship from that starting point.

If we're talking a woman who doesn't like the gender roles society has set out for them and walks talks and acts like a guy (But is happy being female and having all the... accessories that come with that) then that is a completely different story.

 

[iLikeHippos]

I've been reading this thread for the past 3 hours and I can't believe so many people on the Escapist keep a medieval sight on gender and sex. Jesus Christ, I thought it was an adage!
It's not hard!

Gender = Your personal identification, who you are.

Sex = What suit you're wearing, in a biological term.
And no, it is NOT okay to call a MtF a man, just like calling a suit made of Polyester a Polyester suit to be incorrect, merely for the presence of 1-2% Linen. Even if you think there is something wrong subjectively, you are still wrong objectively; no going around you being misinformed and biased which is holding you back from ever seeing the real truth.

Also, I am slightly amused and depressed to see most people think transsexuals mutilate their own sex, as if they're sadistic butchers found on 4chan.
A bit of fucking knowledge before spouting such bullshit is healthy to everyone in your verbal area. It really is.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, on to the question... Would I date a transGENDERED person?

A female, perhaps; a male, no. For the same reason, mind, I wouldn't date a man and only a woman; I'm hetereosexual and my preference shifts into that sexual area.

But since we're already this forward into the question, I may grasp the liberty to ask myself; would I date a transSEXUAL person?
I believe I fall into the same preferences of sexual appetite, but I would not, unlike half of these Escapists (Who, I am disappointed in) discriminate against any MtF; they shall fall under the exact same category of females I tend to look out for.

If she is beautiful, smart, fun to be with and can go absolutely nuts with me online and perhaps irl a few times, then why the hell not?

 

[ToxicOranges]

Look, I'd love to be noble, frankly, and say I don't care what they used to be etc...

But thats simply not true. It would be all I'd ever think about. All the time. Every day.

Sorry, it would just never... never work for me.

 

[annoyinglizardvoice]

I would.
No issue with them beyond my normal disapproval of surgical changes to one's body.
The "no kids" thing is a non-issue with me as I can't stand youngsters.

 

[nekoali]

I have dated transsexual people before. Both trans women and trans men. I've also dated cisgender women and men. It really doesn't matter to me. I am attracted to who a person is, not what they are. In fact, it was falling for/being attracted to a trans woman that I knew that made me realize that I was pansexual, and wasn't concerned about a person's parts. So long as I am attracted to them, that is what is important to me.

 

[torzath]

I would.
No issue with them beyond my normal disapproval of surgical changes to one's body.
The "no kids" thing is a non-issue with me as I can't stand youngsters.

It's not really like plastic surgery just for the hell of it, and more like surgically fixing a cleft lip or something. Just pitching that in.

 

[nekoali]

I don't find it to be discriminatory to not be attracted to someone because they are transgender. The same as it isn't if you aren't attracted to someone who is say, black, or asian, or Jewish, or a certain age, height, weight or anything else. Discrimination is treating everyone of a certain group poorly just because they are of that group. Or most everyone.. the 'but I've got a gay friend, so I'm not a bigot even though I hate fags' doesn't count.

Everyone has their tastes and preferences in partners. As a transgender woman I don't get offended if someone pulls the 'Well I like you, but you were once a guy so I don't want to date you.' A little misinformed, but I am not offended any more than if someone said "I like you, but you have red hair and I don't date redheads.'

Everyone has their preferences in partners. I don't get upset if I don't fit someone's preferences, and I know there are more people out there who I do fit.

 

[iLikeHippos]

I believe I fall into the same preferences of sexual appetite, but I would not, unlike half of these Escapists (Who, I am disappointed in) discriminate against any MtF; they shall fall under the exact same category of females I tend to look out for.

Why exactly is it discriminatory to be unattracted to them because of their body's past history as the sex I am unattracted to?

Because it's just that: history, and nothing else. People change, and should be accepted for their present, just as I expect no one will treat me like the uneducated, dumbass-idiot I was four years ago. When their sex and gender is the exact same per their definition with no flaw, I see no reason they stand out from anyone else.

Moreover, that is one of their wishes. To be accepted as who they've chosen to be. I respect that.

 

[iLikeHippos]

I believe I fall into the same preferences of sexual appetite, but I would not, unlike half of these Escapists (Who, I am disappointed in) discriminate against any MtF; they shall fall under the exact same category of females I tend to look out for.

Why exactly is it discriminatory to be unattracted to them because of their body's past history as the sex I am unattracted to?

Because it's just that: history, and nothing else. People change, and should be accepted for their present, just as I expect no one will treat me like the uneducated, dumbass-idiot I was four years ago. When their sex and gender is the exact same per their definition with no flaw, I see no reason they stand out from anyone else.

Moreover, that is one of their wishes. To be accepted as who they've chosen to be. I respect that.

So what if it is history? Why is that unacceptable to factor in, in regards to attraction?

Their wishes are irrelevant to how attracted I am to them.

Because said 'history' is painting you a false picture of who they are presently and should not factor into it; it's not like they're hiding an extra penis under those panties or out to get you into a hoax. The fear is fictional, unlike their physique and mentality. And it simply isn't fair to disregard what is real when confronted by the fictional fears. It's all in your head when nothing real is wrong.