Poll: Would you ever pursue someone who is taken?

[Brawndo]

After 6-7 years of dating experience under my belt, I can safely say that most of the attractive women I've met had a boyfriend, fiance, husband, or at least someone they were sleeping with or otherwise seeing at the time I met them. In the past, I've always respected the fact that these women were in relationships and did not pursue them. I used to put myself in the shoes of the other guy, and thought that I would be very upset if someone was trying to get with my girlfriend.

However, lately I've rethought my position on this. The attractive women I meet are rarely single, and it's been my experience and the experience of my friends that most women wait until they've found another man they like before they ditch the guy they're currently dating. So I feel that by being respectful of these relationships, I'm only screwing myself out of a lot of opportunities, especially when the girl I like is also showing signs of interest in me. I wouldn't try to get with the girlfriend of one of my friends, but some random guy I don't know? May the best man win. I will still draw the line at getting involved with engaged and married women.

What are your views on the subject?

 

[Lilani]

No, nonononono, no. Definitely not. I may want to, and I may be tempted, but there is absolutely no way in hell. Even if I think she's a total ***** and I'm certain I would be a better match, I'd keep a reasonable distance. There is no way in hell I'd do that to anyone. It's just despicable, it's a horrible kind of drama to instigate, and it's a horrible way to start a relationship.

 

[Logiclul]

Yes, because she will want to be with whoever makes her the most happy. If you can make her happier than him, then you'd be denying her that happiness by backing away because of him.

Relationships don't last forever, don't pretend like they do. They often end due to a third love interest or some huge argument.

I wouldn't chase a married woman though.

 

[Vault101]

hmm....no because it would cause too much pain

 

[lord's voken]

I would, in fact most of women I've dated were with someone else before we got together. I was seeing one while she married. It is about giving people what they want. IF she or he wants you more than their current, uhm why not get with them if the feeling is mutual? relationships dont last forever and to be honest if the current was really such a good lover or they as a couple was good together than you getting with them isnt even a question. you can pursue them all they want but if they aint interested, than they aint interested and you aint getting no where. Its just like Mitt Romey says; you should be able to fire people who arent giving you good service. Dont make sense to drop your current provider till you at least shopped around for a new one

 

[DustyDrB]

I...have. And it worked out well for me. Well...at least for a little while. Let's just say what goes around comes around. Would I do it again? It depends. If I think the guy is an asshole and I like the woman enough, maybe I will. If I respect the fellow, then no. If they're married, then no. I did go on one date with an engaged girl, though.

 

[Erja_Perttu]

I...have. And it worked out well for me. Well...at least for a little while. Let's just say what goes around comes around.

See, there's the rub I think. You're chasing a girl who, if she does indeed go for you, is the type of person who will be actively looking for another partner even in a serious relationship.

Sure, you'll get the girl for a while, but what if someone else catches her attention?

I'd much prefer to pursue a partner who was unattached first. There's enough singles out there to keep me occupied until the right one comes along.

 

[DustyDrB]

I...have. And it worked out well for me. Well...at least for a little while. Let's just say what goes around comes around.

See, there's the rub I think. You're chasing a girl who, if she does indeed go for you, is the type of person who will be actively looking for another partner even in a serious relationship.

Sure, you'll get the girl for a while, but what if someone else catches her attention?

I'd much prefer to pursue a partner who was unattached first. There's enough singles out there to keep me occupied until the right one comes along.

I don't see it that way, even after what happened. Every person and every relationship is different. That girl just had a whole hidden life. It was hidden from everyone and when it got out, almost everyone she knew was shocked. She moved several states away and severed all ties when it got out. So yeah, it was definitely in her nature.

But I wouldn't say that's true of everyone. Each person and each relationship is different. Some people only stay together because it's routine for them. There are many stories that contrast mine.

Yeah, I'd rather the girl be single. But if the relationship she's in is so obviously going nowhere or if the guy is a dick, I'm going to take the chance. Part of that is my view on relationships anyway. I don't view them as just "flukes" or of less value if they don't result in marriage. If you're together with someone for even just a few months and the time is great, then that's just as beautiful to me as most marriages. So I'll get into relationships that most people will see as "doomed" (due to having different career ambitions, or she wants kids and I don't).

 

[smithy_2045]

If would be furious if it happened to me, so definitely not.

 

[FamoFunk]

I haven't and I wouldn't. I'd like to say I never would, just you just never know how madly in love you could fall for someone who you just *have* to have and peruse.

Love makes people do crazy things, even ruin someone's relationship to have the other person in it.

 

[A Weary Exile]

Been there, done that. Don't do it, even if you feel like you'd be the better match.

Even if you aren't actively trying to break them up you'll be seen as a threat. You'll just end up heart-broken and, likely, friendless. Not worth it.

 

[JesterRaiin]

What are your views on the subject?

Yes if she wouldn't be 100% happy with her current relationship and there would be some chemistry between us.
There's this saying about love and war...

By the way...
If you managed to steal her away, what chances are for her to repeat this in the future ?

 

[Kae]

Well I would mind, but being as handsome as I am I cannot help but attract those poor creatures, of course I say no, but even then the damage has been done and now they cannot ever look at another man, so I kinda ruin it for every other guy anyway, so sad, but I mean who can really blame them?

 

[Mr. In-between]

I messed around with a married girl back in 2007. I'd never put myself through that misery again. Now am I willing to be the guy she cheats on her boyfriend with? Absolutely, but no more adultery.

 

[Esotera]

Pretty much exclusively...I know it's really bad but I find it much more interesting. Also it's much easier to do - you just need to keep talking to them, plant seeds of doubt, and hint at things; most relationships aren't rock solid.

-_- there's a special circle of hell reserved for me

 

[Gaiseric]

If would be furious if it happened to me, so definitely not.

This^^

Pursuing a woman who is in a relationship goes against what I consider acceptable(for me).

No I wouldn't. Doesn't seem right to me. If someone's in a relationship I feel I ought to respect that and not try to pursue them. If they want other people to pursue them then I think they shouldn't be in their current relationship. If they want people to pursue them anyway I'm not particularly sure I'd be so comfortable about being in a relationship with them myself anyway.

This too.

 

[Astoria]

If the person is unhappy with their relationship then it's ok as long as you don't get physical in any way. If it seems like you're heading there tell the person you can't go any further until they've broken up with their partner. Being left for someone will hurt them but being cheated on will hurt more. If they are happy then just back off and find someone else. I had a girl constantly flirting with my boyfriend and it's one of the worst feelings. You feel incredibly angry at the person and also terrified that they'll succeed in stealing them.