Poll: Would you rather sleep with Chell or Samus?

[scorptatious]

Most likely Samus, I find her more attractive.

 

[KurtzGallahad]

Chell looks a bit unrefined to me, plus she's brain-damaged to the point where she can no longer speak, and she clearly does not take proper care of her hair or skin
Sleeping with her would not only be immoral, because you're taking advantage of a disabled person, but also involve such amazing moments as her reaction when you require her to have a shower first,
And see a therapist about her serious case of stokholm syndrome
Samus on the other hand is totally not brain damaged

 

[Gigatoast]

Canonical or not, Team Ninja have established Samus as an unlikable airhead. And besides, Chell wasn't raised by a race of talking chickens, so I gotta go with her.

 

[MaxwellEdison]

I'd rather not objectify every character who happens to be female.

 

[Isaac The Grape]

Neither becuase I'm a woman...

Solid Snake or Gordon Freeman? (maybe not the best equivalent but just something off the top of my head)

rofl

What lady could resist the Freeman. Plus he's a Doctor...not much of a conversationalist though.

Are you crazy? Solid Snake, the name says it all!

Yeah but isn't he like...ancient. Not sure he could keep up with me

According to the timeline he'd be 38 now. Plus the rapid aging hasn't started yet. So as a hetrosexual male with plenty of bisexual friends, I say he'd be a good shot.

 

[zehydra]

Samus.

For very, very shallow and obvious reasons.

yeah, but we're talking about sex with fictional characters.

 

[AgDr_ODST]

I'll go with the Samus that I knew and loved before Team Ninja fucked her up so badly in Other M[footnote]which like most of u I don't count as canon as far as her story goes[/footnote]. Main reasons being that A) Samus looks damn good in that Zero suit, so she's bound to look even better naked B) shes bound to be flexible and capable of some crazy, and incredibly kinky stuff C) the mutes are far more likely to be screamers in the sack. Rational behind rejecting Chell: A) ability to solve portal puzzles and out wit Glados doesn't mean she's intelligent in other areas B) I can't help but be stuck on her Portal 1 look and she didn't look the least bit attractive in that game C) we(or atleast I) know little to nothing about her background

 

[adventuretime]

Samus. Everyone already gave plenty of reasons why her. No attraction at all to Chell.

 

[Blackout62]

Wait a minute this is just a thinly veiled question of blonde v. brunette.


...Chell.

 

[The Youth Counselor]

You know, I'd think both of them would make a good match for Gordon Freeman.

They could also make a good couple themselves. Or a triple. I'm gonna write some fan fiction now.

 

[Nemesis729]

Samus, Chell is pretty ugly

 

[CleverCover]

Neither, not into chicks like that.

 

[The_Evermind]

I prefer the Portal games to Metroid and if Other M has to be counted than I guess Chell but I voted Samus because I don't trust Chell, all that time with no one but Glados, I would be suspicious of her. Plus, its Samus, what more do I really need to say.

 

[Twilight_guy]

Why is Alyx Vance not in this poll?

Because then the abscence of votes in the other two sections would make the poll redundant. And it's supposed to be a dilmna. Like I said, the option between brain-damamged and slightly more brain-damaged is a far trickier one.

I would answer but the feminist in me won't allow it. As a result I will just say that this is an odd question since both characters have shown very little personality due to their not have dialogue and both tend to spend most of their games hidden (Samus in armor Chell by the camera). Its hard to make a judgement when both characters are largely undefined and nebulous.

Either you're employing a double standard or feminist isn't the term you're looking for. Suppose that it were men in question. If you would be fine answering that poll, then that would be a double standard. If you still wouldn't vote, then your objection with this poll isn't based on the subject matter being women specifically and therefore doesn't apply to feminism.

Actually I wouldn't answer either. Both are stupid. The fact that the majority of users here are male and that the question is essentially "which fictional character would you bone?" with both being female made me think feminist. I might be wrong, maybe I have no idea which thing is which but in the end it irks me and i don't want to degrade myself by answering such a question.

Funnily enough, from a formal logic standpoint I guess that means I respond with "no".

 

[xPixelatedx]

Um, who is Chell?

 

[Kyle Roberts]

Im hoping Chell is the one from portal 2 cause if so i could easy sum it up into a few words..

I would tap that.

 

[nbamaniac]

Chell and her silent kinkiness..

 

[NerfedFalcon]

If I had to pick one of them, I'd go for Chell, just because she seems a little more likely to actually go with me. Although, if I had the opportunity, I'd walk right past them both and go wolf whistle at Reimu instead. Who said mikos had to be chaste?

 

[geldonyetich]

So my choice is either Metroid herpes or Aperture Science neutering enrichment nanite?

 

[mew4ever23]

I'm going with Samus.

I think Samus as she just looks better. (Especially in that zero suit!)
Chell would be your intellectual choice though.

Even though she might have a VERY minor case of serious brain damage.