Poll: You are an evil overlord! Which army of mooks do you employ?

[Angelous Wang]

Skynet - I will make myself a cyborg (like Marcus in the newest film), I will then join with skynet becoming one and the same, so no usurping.

Of course if it were my actual army of choice, I would use an army of overly sexualized beautiful girls aged 16-28 wearing skimpy outfits, for various reasons...

1. I'm Evil, I can drop all social pretence and rules and just be unapologetically sexist. An army of beautiful women obeying their superior male leader is very good for the mega-ego.

2. There can be only one alpha male. The rest need to be crushed.

3. They would be able to infiltrate pretty much any country easy enough "hiding in plain sight" sort of thing.

4. They would be excellent at distracting and stealth killing most military personnel.

5. My cooking and cleaning would be covered.

6. Having to fight an entire army of "synchronized" female soldiers every 4 weeks will spread the kind of fear to my enemies the way no other army could.

7. I want to be able to boast have screwed an entire army of beautiful women, and you know actually screw the entire army of beautiful women too.

... and I could go on and on.

 

[rutger5000]

I choose others: Ninjas... (How are there not Ninja-Armies on this list?)

If that isn't possible i choose rowdy-gangs or disgraced commandos / ex-militaries on the run / Mercenaries with questionable morals.

Ok ok.. if i had to choose from that list: Orcs... but only if i can spawn them at will and in hordes, maybe stromtroopers (They do hit shit... just no people with a name *g*.)

They are on the list, you just failed to spot them. For which you of course can't be blamed, for you know Ninjas/

 

[SonOfVoorhees]

My mooks would be insects. All of them. Muhahahahahaha. An clowns, just to scare those that dont give a crap about insects.

 

[Glongpre]

I picked terminators.

But what I would really want is a samurai army. Awesome.

Spoiler

 

[rutger5000]

Considering evil overlords armies there always seems to be a strong negative relation between quantity and quality. So I'm not quiet sure if I'd go for an army at all. Can't I just have a small squat of super beings? Easy to keep an eye on, more difficult to be manipulated and much easier to maintain. If not then I'd go for Mongols. Screw the romans, mongols were the true conquers the greatest empire ever conquered in less then a few decades.

 

[Sehnsucht Engel]

I find it funny that the stormtroopers have gotten so many votes. They can't hit anything.

I voted for Zombies, both the ones in Walking Dead, where everyone who dies in any way becomes a zombie, but also those in Resident Evil, would be pretty great to have as an army.

If I had to pick something else... I'd go with an army of monster girls. They are strong, and have great persuasion skills. XD

 

[rutger5000]

My mooks would be insects. All of them. Muhahahahahaha. An clowns, just to scare those that dont give a crap about insects.

!!!! FLAMING CLOWN SPIDERS !!!!

 

[Basement Cat]

Oh, I would definitely go for the Stormtroopers!

The thing is that you want your minions to be generally effecient and obedient unto death but most of the options on the list--particularly the zombies--aren't useful for general purposes i.e. "Go fix that leaking faucet in my bathroom, trooper."

Do you want an orc or zombie around your toothbrush?

The Roman Legions would be better but they're way too antiquated--the Stormtroopers are up to date on galaxy hopping level technology.

As for my Stormtroopers' firing accuracy, eh, I've noticed that their firing accuracy and combat efficiency is quite high except against anyone protected by Plot Armor [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PlotArmor].

 

[Mr. Omega]

Out of those on the list, I'd go with the Koopa Troop. You have your expendables with the Goombas and green Koopas, but I'd just send a great big wave of Chain Chomps, Hammer Bros and Magikoopas. Plus Bowser has a fleet of airships. Always a plus.

As for an army of my own choice? Robots, duh. But not the big clunky bots like the Terminators or Cybermen. No, for my type of robots, I refer you to the Evil Overlord List Additions:
"My robot army will not be big, slow-moving, and fashioned with inferior AI. Instead they will be built for speed, agility, and remotely controlled by my army of 15-year-old Korean Counter-Strike players."

 

[Childe]

It was actually hard for me to decide which one i would go with but Skynet won out in the end because like the cybermen of doctor who they can just keep upgrading and besides they look cool

 

[Alcamonic]

I would personally go with a massive Jaffa army, but I will require a pyramidship (guns not necessary, just for cool-factor and "I AM YOUR GOD"-factor).
Basically I would walk around with my anti-bullet shield and yell "JAFFA! KREE!" and point in various different directions, possibly for them to do my dishes,cleaning and kill soldiers all with the same phrase. Marvelous!

They do however seriously lack jokes.

I did vote for Orks though. Somewhat useful afterwards as cheap labour.

 

[Abomination]

The undead is definately the type of army I would want to employ. No upkeep costs, no morale issues, no questioning of authority, they don't need to sleep or get tired and you can always make more with every victory (or defeat).

The other advantage is you don't have to actually be EVIL either. You can just use them as a police or occupation force, civil works, zombie-powered treadmills - the applications are endless!

 

[Candidus]

I've checked over the list, but I don't see a force fit for me.

Given an `Other` choice, I'll go for MgRonald's employees.

They're the minions of a true shift manage--overlord.

 

[Yokillernick]

Skynet for the win. Seems quite obvious don't it when you think about it. On one side you have the Stormtroopers who's accuracy and combat prowess is questionable at best. I mean come on...

and let's no forget that on the other side you have the Romans who use swords and shields. If they were so effective you could take over the world with why did they go out of fashion around 500 years ago?

 

[SonOfVoorhees]

My mooks would be insects. All of them. Muhahahahahaha. An clowns, just to scare those that dont give a crap about insects.

!!!! FLAMING CLOWN SPIDERS !!!!

Change spider to cockroach and then you will be the sickest evilish person ever.

 

[busterkeatonrules]

Orcs.

They are strong, they are many, they look intimidating and, in a pinch, I could probably get them to work significantly harder by constantly telling members of [rival tribe A] that "someone from [rival tribe B] performed [task] yesterday - TWICE as fast!"

 

[GonzoGamer]

I'd like my Orks from Warhammer (40k) or Warcraft III but I'll go with Lotr on the list.
Orks are awesome!

40k orks would be great if you needed to eradicate a population.
I don't think I'd be that kind of evil overlord though; the kind to just put everyone to the sword/shoota.
I'd probably be more of a Magneto/Megatron/CobraCommander type overlord with a smaller clan of specialists rather than the huge army of goons. Sure you have to watch your back more but isn't that part of the fun of being an Evil overlord?...Who wouldn't love a Starscream to abuse for his constant insubordination and foolishness.

 

[loc978]

Definitely stormtroopers... but only because they have the best equipment by far. Then I'd revamp their training regimen. I'm sure they've got the old pre-imperial training documents laying around somewhere. I'd take a bit of that and a bit of what I know to make them less a fear-dependent police force, more a military again.

Do I get the space-naval vessels that they're stationed on too?

 

[Armadox]

My minions? Why the orphaned women and children of the village prior I just raided. They'd have full and complete status under my empire. They would have health care and wages. Then when they're properly trained and have garnished the mentality I need in a minion (neural stapling is required for those who don't see it my way. They are to become the engine of my army), I'd send them to the next town as refugees. The women would work in all statuses in the town, while the children are used to learn weaknesses in the city planning, people and the ilk. For who watches what they say when there is a strange child about?
Then when they're secure, I trigger the trap and they kill all the males in town, leaving a town of new recruits..

 

[Daverson]

Gotta be Orcs. Who doesn't love orcs? But not in that way... or maybe in that way? I'm not judging anyone, and you know what they say, once you go green, you... never... get... clean...? Ok, let's put an end to this train of thought before it derails in a urban area, killing millions.

I've been told they taste pretty good in a pinch, too... then again... I've been told the same of humans, so maybe it's just that Elves taste terrible? Look, I'm reading into this too much. The point is Orcs are better Mooks than Nazis, and that's saying something.