Poll: Your view on parents spanking their children?

[Phasmal]

As someone who works with kids, I can say it is not needed.
From experience I can say that positive reinforcement on young chilren works a whole lot better. Kids want attention, and they will act out to get it, if you don't give it and instead focus on a child who is behaving well, they will soon give up.

Example, I work with 2-3 year olds, and when we used to sit them down for lunch they were sat up to those long metal tables you have in many english schools, which kids cannot resist drumming their hands on.
If I point out the kids who are drumming on the table, the kids who aren't will look and see that child is getting attention and they will start doing it too and then you have a room full of kids not listening to you.
Instead what I used to do is focus on the children who are behaving well- `Look at Emily, isn't she being good? Sat there nice and quiet? She's being a good girl, she can help put the plates out`. Now I have a table full of kids who want to be praised and will sit quietly.
Positive reinforcement always works better.

You only need to physically intervene if a child is going to hurt themselves or another child.

In my opinion, if you regularly hit your kids, all you are teaching them is - if someone doesn't do what you want, hit them.

 

[Moralio]

When you beat your child it is the first sign that you failed as a parent.

 

[Shock and Awe]

As long as corporal punishment isn't the first place you go and it's done within reason it can be a very effective means of punishment. Its simple and its very effective.

 

[Kaytastrophe]

There was only one situation in which I was hit by my parents and in my opinion it was justified. I would only get a spanking or a slap on the hands when I was doing/about to do something that would cause me more physical harm then the spanking; i.e. putting my hand on the stove, putting stuff in electrical outlets that sort of thing. My parents wanted to convey that those activities would hurt me, and in my opinion that was perfectly justified. Otherwise no I don't think its necessary to smack a child because they didn't clean their room.

 

[D Moness]

When you beat your child it is the first sign that you failed as a parent.

when the parent is afraid the child will hit him/her THEN you know you failed as a parent

 

[The Artificially Prolonged]

It was fucking hilarious, I read a recent study that showed that kids should not be punished at all, in any form ever. I'm not joking, you literally give in to the children on every single demand, and it's meant to produce happier parents, better kids etc

I just think this is the ultimate form for political correctness, it's simply reached its zenith

Haven't you heard? Parents don't need to do anything anymore, society raises their kids for them. Why do you think we see some many well behaved children no... oh wait. Yeah I'd say that study is full of it unless it's titled how to turn your kids into spoilt brats.

On topic

I see no harm in some spanking for children to discipline them, it is one of many tools a parent can use to bring up a child. I got spanked with a slipper by my mum up till I was about ten, didn't hurt much or mess me up in the long run. Although I did get smart, when I knew me and my brother where in for the slipper, I'd run to my room while my mum was dealing with my brother and throw on another pair of pants under the ones I was wearing for cushioning.

 

[SonOfVoorhees]

Difference between a slight smack on the leg and a beating with an object. Major difference. I was smacked as a kid and i was always told what it was for and why what i did was wrong. Then i got a kiss and a hug after. An it was only ever used when i did something really bad like shop lifting, not for every little thing.

An for people that say its wrong. Well ive grown up into a well adjusted adult, im non violent, dont have temper issues and the last time i ever hit someone was 22 years ago (im 35) - so how can it teach a kid that violence solves everything? lol. Parents know how to discipline their kids and they love their kids and know what line not to cross. Those that beat the shit out of their kids for every little thing have issues, know they are crossing the line between discipline and abuse. It also only makes your kid violent because the abused will always abuse others.

 

[SonOfVoorhees]

On a side note....how many of you actually did as you were told? How many of you said "Sorry, i wont do it again," and then went out and did it again? I know i did and im sure many of you did also. Think of it like adults that commit crimes, they are let off or giving cautions again and again and its not until they are sent to prison do they learn.

 

[Phasmal]

On a side note....how many of you actually did as you were told? How many of you said "Sorry, i wont do it again," and then went out and did it again? I know i did and im sure many of you did also. Think of it like adults that commit crimes, they are let off or giving cautions again and again and its not until they are sent to prison do they learn.

I was a very well behaved child and I was never hit.
My sister's kids are the best behaved kids I know and they are never hit, while my boyfriend's brother's kids get spanked and are still poorly behaved.
I don't mind people who are in favour of spanking, but I do mind when they act as if that is the only way. It's not.

 

[DaWaffledude]

They're people. Not your property. End of story.

 

[spartan231490]

Spanking is perfectly acceptable, and it's effective. Kids need to be spanked more often. I think corporal punishment should be legal in public schools. I thought that when I was a kid too. Spanking is not beating, it isn't assault, it's discipline. Something sadly lacking from the life of most children these days. Parents should be able to punish their kids in any way that doesn't endanger them(like withholding food or water) or injure them.

While I disagree with parents spanking their kids as discipline method #1 I defiantly disagree with the government deciding how people should raise their kids.

I think it is good that PHYSICAL FUCKING ASSAULT is now illegal. It's there to inflict extreme pain and suffering on a developing human being to submit them to your will. That shit is fucking ... It makes me angry. It IS brainwashing through physical torture. You cannot argue with that

Spoken by someone who was obviously never spanked. Spanking isn't "there to inflict extreme pain and suffering." It's a spanking, it's more startling than painful. Being spanked certainly stings, but it is not, nor has it ever been, a cause of extreme pain and suffering. We're talking about spanking, not whipping, not paddling, not beating your kid with a rod, spanking.

"on a developing human being to submit them to your will."
This is true of every single punishment. You do realize that right? Being forced to submit to someone else's will isn't this horrible awful thing, it's called discipline, and it will serve you well in life.

Adults need to submit to the will of others every single day, at least we do in a civilization. We need to listen to our boss. We need to pull over when the sirens come on. We need to fork over our licence and registration when the cop asks. We need to obey the law. Children need to obey their parents, and they need to obey their teachers. Not just because it's a good idea at the time, but because it's training for life.

"It IS brainwashing through physical torture. You cannot argue with that." Watch me. Torture must inflict extreme pain or suffering, spanking does not. Secondly, torture is usually defined to exclude punishment, and spanking is punishment.
As for brainwashing, spanking(and all punishment, as I pointed out earlier) is a method of behavior control. You know, that thing that is required for all civilization. Brainwashing, on the other hand, is something that modifies your attitudes and thought processes. Spanking doesn't do that, nor does any other punishment.

"Yeahhh.. let's teach our kids that when one does something wrong they should be beaten or smacked. We want a peaceful society but won't even solve our issues with our kids without violence."
I think I like this argument best though, because being spanked is so much worse than going to prison. Actions have consequences, children need to learn that. They also need to learn that some consequences are worse than others, that some misbehavior are worse than others.

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

On a side note....how many of you actually did as you were told? How many of you said "Sorry, i wont do it again," and then went out and did it again? I know i did and im sure many of you did also. Think of it like adults that commit crimes, they are let off or giving cautions again and again and its not until they are sent to prison do they learn.

When my parents told me not to do something I stopped doing it. Never had to be hit. My sister was the same. Being explained to why it was wrong was pretty much enough once we got past about three or four.

In fact, the only children I have ever known who have gone on to do exactly the same thing after being disciplined are children who were hit. Obviously that's not exactly a decent sample group or anything but it gels with a lot of the research I've read.

Children who are hit become more antisocial later, pretty much all the research i know of supports this theory, and my mother was a teacher, so she saw it in action.

Hilarious teaching story:

A child in my mother's class wanted a toy off another child. He said he wanted it and the child wouldn't give it to him, so he smacked the child with an open palm across the back, possibly aiming for the behind. Obviously he was taken out of the gen pop and had to wait until his mother came to collect him at the end of the day. When my mum explained what had happened the mother of the child was very apologetic. Then, as she was taking her child away, my mother witnessed the following:

'That was very naughty. You don't take things from other people like that, you ask for them.'
*smack on the behind.*

Yeah, I wonder where the child picked up that it was right to ask for something, then hit the other child when they didn't give him the toy. That idea must have just sprung into his mind with no outside stimulus!

 

[Thespian]

Spanking is a stupid idea and it should never be used, even as a last resort.

First of all it's just embarrassing, neanderthal behavior that shouldn't be encouraged.

Secondly, while you might think you are teaching kids about consequences, you're not. All you're doing is connecting an arbitrary negative result to something they've done. There's no causal relationship between the bad thing they did and the punishment. This doesn't give the message that "Doing X will result in bad things" it just means that "Doing X and getting caught results in bad things". So how do they learn anything that helps them after they leave their parents and live alone? All you've taught them is to avoid punishment. They don't understand why what they did is bad.
If the only deterrent you can think of for a behavior is "I'll hit you if you do this" then it's probably not a behavior that needs to stop. You should just explain to your kids why stealing is wrong, or why throwing a tantrum is bad, and how it affects others. I know I was a pretty well behaved kid (at least, I never threw big tantums or did anything destructive) and I never got any such punishments.

And thirdly, for fuck's sake just talk to your damn kid. Spanking is used as a substitute for treating your kid like a human being and not like a pet. All these parents who say "Ohh, there's no better option" who have probably never sat down and comforted or spoken with (depending on the age) their kid for a few minutes. Not unless they've spanked them into silence, anyway.

 

[Diddy_Mao]

I was a fairly well behaved kid. But I have always been somewhat obstinate in my behavior and as a kid sometimes the only way to get me to do what I didn't want to was a firm swat in the ass.

Obviously I don't think you should spank a kid for every little shitty thing they do. But yeah I fully agree that it's an acceptable punishment when the kid has stepped well over the line.

 

[anthony87]

When you beat your child it is the first sign that you failed as a parent.

Beating a child is not the same as spanking a child. Please learn the difference.

Really, this is the whole problem with the matter. You have people jumping to extremes like "Abuse" and "Beating" without knowing what the hell they're talking about. I'm not a parent but I grew up in a household with babies for the better part of 13 years (nieces/nephews). Now when one of them was acting like a little shit, they'd be punished. If they kept acting like a little shit, they'd be punished again. If the punishment wasn't getting through to them then they'd be spanked. Not beaten, not abused. They'd get a quick, mild slap across the ass no different then how you'd bop a dog on the nose with a newspaper or something for snapping out.

 

[uberDoward]

There is a difference between corrective actions such as spanking, and physical abuse.

I was physically and sexually abused from the time I was about 7 until 13. My teenage years I was a complete hellion.

I waited until now to raise kids (I'm 29, my wife and I have an 8 month old son, been married for 7 years), because back in my early 20s, I was still coming off of the hell-raising devil-may-care years.

Looking back, and helping raise my goddaughter (who is now 6) I've got first hand experience. Yes, from a very young age, a light swat can help get the parent's point across. The idea is to let the child know that YOU are the parent, and that YOU are in charge of them.

Ignoring your child day in and day out, and randomly beating them when they act out is wrong. (that's what happened to me growing up) The root problem isn't even the parent doing the beating - it's the fact the parent has been ignoring their child! That is poor parenting.

If you take an ACTIVE role in your child's life, then yes, spanking is a LAST RESORT only method of corrective action. Ideally, you'll get to the point that you can discuss what went wrong, and where with your child. If that doesn't work, then what would you propose - allow the child free reign of whatever their minds decide?

Someone else mentioned it - at least here in the US - we have a lot of EXTREMELY poorly behaved children, because parents are afraid or unwilling to discipline their child.

Quite frankly, if you can't tell the difference between abuse and corrective action, you aren't ready to be a parent. PLEASE wait until you are ready before you start that journey!

 

[spartan231490]

On a side note....how many of you actually did as you were told? How many of you said "Sorry, i wont do it again," and then went out and did it again? I know i did and im sure many of you did also. Think of it like adults that commit crimes, they are let off or giving cautions again and again and its not until they are sent to prison do they learn.

I was a very well behaved child and I was never hit.
My sister's kids are the best behaved kids I know and they are never hit, while my boyfriend's brother's kids get spanked and are still poorly behaved.
I don't mind people who are in favour of spanking, but I do mind when they act as if that is the only way. It's not.

Are you sure you were never hit? I ask because I always thought that I was only spanked once as a child, I only remembered it once, and then having this conversation with my parents and sister I found out that I was spanked all the time when I was a toddler, I just learned my lesson and didn't need to be spanked anymore once I could remember.

That said, you certainly can discipline some kids without spanking, some people are just naturally well-behaved, even as children. However, I will argue that some kids won't learn their lesson unless they're spanked.

As someone who works with kids, I can say it is not needed.
From experience I can say that positive reinforcement on young chilren works a whole lot better. Kids want attention, and they will act out to get it, if you don't give it and instead focus on a child who is behaving well, they will soon give up.

This might work when you have 20 kids so you can show them that they get attention by being good. Or maybe when all they're doing by acting out is screaming. It doesn't work so well when you have only 2 or 3 kids in the room and no-one is behaving well to pay attention to, or when they "act out"(frankly kids don't always misbehave when they want attention, more often they misbehave because they don't know what they're doing is wrong, or even more often, because they don't care) by destroying everything in the room.

My cousin's youngest son is a great example. Last thanksgiving he was getting plenty of attention, he was playing with his grandfather, and then he decided to use the floor-lamp like a fire-pole. Ok, no harm done, his grandpa tells him no you can't do that, but then he did it again literally before he was done being told not to do that and while his grandfather was still picking up the floor lamp. He wasn't doing that for attention, he already had attention, he was doing it because it was fun and because his parents don't discipline him enough(this is one of those kids that time-outs just don't work on, the prick needs the occasional spanking). Oh, did I mention he was 6 or 7 years old when he was doing this?

On the other hand my nephew once tried to act out, and he was doing this for attention, by throwing toy trucks at the windows. After he broke his 2nd one in a week he got spanked and he never did it again except for the time his sister told him that he would get in trouble if he didn't. He was 3 or 4 the last time he did this. Now when he wants attention he just yells your name over and over again.

Violence and fear are tools of the weak. Spanking teaches children to hit when confronted with a problem and inspires anxiety over consequences instead of respect for values.

Anxiety over consequences? Good thing. "Oh man, if I do that what might happen?!"

Instead of developing a sense of value in and of itself, a spanked child is taught over time to do what they are told because they fear they will receive negative consequences; they don't take the money because they don't want to be hit, not because they are taught of or consider the impact of their actions on others.

If the only reason you don't do wrong is because of what will happen to you, you're not doing good.

This would be a compelling argument, except that the vast majority of people never internalize morality. Very very few ever go beyond avoiding bad behaviors to avoid punishment. If you try to teach your kid to behave by this methodology "that's a long wait for a train don't come." as Mal would say.

 

[ToastiestZombie]

Assault is hurting someone weaker than you, simple as that. Children will always be weaker than you, so hitting them is assault. No weak child deserves it. There is always a better way to do things, non violent ways.