Post your impossible questions riddles jokes etc

[Treefingers]

My impossible question is, can we attain world peace?

That's an easy one.

No.

 

[Caligulove]

Here's a riddle I found.

You hire a man to work for you for seven days. You have one bar of gold with which to pay him, segmented into seven sections. You must give him a piece of gold per day. If you can only make two breaks in the bar, how will you pay him?

Spoiler

From the full bar,Cut the bar once into a bar sized 1/7, and again to a 2/7 size, the remaining is a 4/7 bar

*Day1- Give 1/7bar, he keeps it (1;6)
*Day2- Give 2/7bar, ask for 1/7bar back (2;5)
*Day3- Give 1/7bar, he keeps both (3;4)
*Day4- Give 4/7bar, ask for others back (4;3)
*Day5- Give 1/7bar, he keeps both (5;2)
*Day6- Give 2/7bar, ask 1/7bar back (6;1)
*Day7- Give him the remaining 1/7bar (ALL;0)

Done!

 

[Treefingers]

What is in my pocket??

A ring?

 

[twasdfzxcv]

ive got one

there are 2 guards, one that always lies, and one that tells the truth
one guard has a bag of gold and the other has a bag of feathers
you dont know which guard is which, nor do you know which bag has the gold
you are only allowed to ask one guard, one question
what question do you ask to get the bag of gold

i dont know the answer myself, lol, just taught id put it up

Just kill them both and take both bags.

The answer you're looking for I think is the one where you ask the guard what the other guard would answer.

This one isn't too impossible, but it's something my math teacher told me that amused me.

There are two towns, Town A and Town B. People from Town A will always tell the truth, and people from Town B will always tell a lie. You are exactly in the middle between the two towns, and there is somebody there. What do you ask him to find out what town he's from?

I ask him what color the sky is.

There's no right answer to what color the sky is.

 

[Macgyvercas]

irresistible force, immovable object. Go!

ah the old blob vs juggernaught, simple, the blob sidesteps.

Wrong!

When an unstoppable object meets an immovable object, they simply pass through each other.

Wrong! An immovable object has infinite mass, which means that it creates a black hole of such incredible power that it pulls all light back to the beginning of every and beyond instantly.
An unstoppable force has infinite velocity, meaning that the light it projects will travel back to he beginning of time and beyond.

And since we haven't seen blind which obliterates the universe or complete darkness everywhere, it is safe to assume that there are no immovable objects or unstoppable forces.

I might use that next time I'm asked this question.

Anyway, riddle. "Use me well, I am Everybody. Scratch my back, I am Nobody." What am I?

 

[unreal713]

ive got one

there are 2 guards, one that always lies, and one that tells the truth
one guard has a bag of gold and the other has a bag of feathers
you dont know which guard is which, nor do you know which bag has the gold
you are only allowed to ask one guard, one question
what question do you ask to get the bag of gold

i dont know the answer myself, lol, just taught id put it up

Just kill them both and take both bags.

The answer you're looking for I think is the one where you ask the guard what the other guard would answer.

I'm remembering the Order of the Stick version of this - shoot one in the foot and when he starts shouting "You didn't shoot my foot!" then you know he's the lying one.

Here's a riddle I've come across quite often, not impossible but still quite fun:

There are 10 bags of gold coins but one of the bags contains fake coins that weigh differently to the real ones. How many times do you have to weigh your coins before you know which bags contain the fakes?

Finally a funny little variation on the tree falling by Jimmy Carr :

"I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead."

 

[jrock85]

What's the difference between a duck?

 

[Banana Phone Man]

I have one. It might not be very good on computer because you have to read it but when you tell this to someone you can have some fantastic results. Anyway, no cheating work this out in your head, no paper or calculator for help.

Spoiler: Start with 1000 in your head

Spoiler: +10

Spoiler: +1000

Spoiler: +30

Spoiler: +1000

Spoiler: +50

Spoiler: +1000

Spoiler: +10

Spoiler: (Answer):What number did you end up with?

The correct answer is 4100 some may say 5000. If you worked it out try telling it to someone. Usually someone will get it wrong.

 

[azukar]

irresistible force, immovable object. Go!

Result: logical fallacy. If you have an immovable object, you cannot introduce an irresistable force, and vice versa. Reason being, if you have an object that can resist the irresistabl force, then it's not irresistable. If you have a force that can alter the immovable object, it's not immovable.

In short, you can't have both.

 

[GrinningManiac]

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

A high five. What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

What kind of swallow, an African Swallow or a European Swallow?

Well I don't kno-AAAAAARGGH!

OT:

A man wakes up, climbs up the stairs, turns on the light and shoots himself

WHY

 

[unreal713]

AHHHH!

I can't believe I didn't think of this one until now:

"What can change the nature of a man?"

Best RPG ever. Period.

 

[azukar]

This one isn't too impossible, but it's something my math teacher told me that amused me.

There are two towns, Town A and Town B. People from Town A will always tell the truth, and people from Town B will always tell a lie. You are exactly in the middle between the two towns, and there is somebody there. What do you ask him to find out what town he's from?

"If you were from the other town, which town would you tell me you were from?"
(By 'other town', I mean the town the person *wasn't* born in.)
Whichever town they point to or mention, is the town they're really from. A liar *would* tell you he's from the truthy town, so he lies and says he's from liarville. A truthy person would think that if he came from the liar's village, he'd lie about it, and would point to truthy town.

 

[the_tramp]

Liar's paradox.

Half a year before your first post, I want to say welcome but you're probably accustomed.

 

[axelspitfire]

This is one i thought up ( dunno if its already done though ):
Your at a vending machine, each item is 50p, you put in £1 and then a 50p.
at the end of it you are left with no change and only two items. why?
(Surely with £1.50 you could of had 3?)

 

[twasdfzxcv]

A man wakes up, climbs up the stairs, turns on the light and shoots himself

WHY

He needs his daily dose of heroin.

 

[MasTerHacK]

i have an impossible question
what would happen if your genie wish was
I wish you wouldn't grant this wish

ERROR!ERROR!ERROR!ERROR!ERROR!ERROR!

Paradox detected. You will be terminated from: The World in 10 seconds.
Please have a nice day.

ERROR!ERROR!ERROR!ERROR!ERROR!ERROR!

 

[OtherAlex]

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

(An oldie but a goodie. I nevar get tired of it, one way or the other.)

Because Poe wrote on both.

 

[OtherAlex]

If God is all powerful, is he capable of making an object he cannot lift?

 

[OtherAlex]

When did Schrodingers cat die?

(Sorry thread, I have loads of these)

 

[Cinnonym]

SNIP

SNIP

Have him break the gold each day for his pay.

Okay, that one was pretty clever.

Here's a riddle I found.

You hire a man to work for you for seven days. You have one bar of gold with which to pay him, segmented into seven sections. You must give him a piece of gold per day. If you can only make two breaks in the bar, how will you pay him?

Spoiler

From the full bar,Cut the bar once into a bar sized 1/7, and again to a 2/7 size, the remaining is a 4/7 bar

*Day1- Give 1/7bar, he keeps it (1;6)
*Day2- Give 2/7bar, ask for 1/7bar back (2;5)
*Day3- Give 1/7bar, he keeps both (3;4)
*Day4- Give 4/7bar, ask for others back (4;3)
*Day5- Give 1/7bar, he keeps both (5;2)
*Day6- Give 2/7bar, ask 1/7bar back (6;1)
*Day7- Give him the remaining 1/7bar (ALL;0)

Done!

THIS! This is the correct answer. Brilliant!

Guys, it's segmented into seven pieces, while still being one bar. And you can't give him some now and some later--a condition was that you had to give him a piece per day of work.