Problematic.

[Lightnr]

double post

 

[thedeathscythe]

Talk to your friend about it. How well does he know her? This buddy of mine barely knew this girl, he just thought she was hot, and when she was interested in me he got really jealous, but the thing is, I knew her and he wouldn't have been able to tell you her last name. So I went for it after we talked, and he realized that it was ridiculous for him to get in the way of things. If he really knows her though, and he he doesn't want you to go for it, I would respect his wishes, on the condition that he can't. I always thought it was a sort of guy code that if one guy can't have the girl, neither of them can. If they can work it out and decide, then go for it.

 

[Flamezdudes]

I recently learned today something very unfortunate. It turns out the girl one of my best friends likes, really likes me. This is problematic since I sort of like her aswell although i'm swaying in the direction of not wanting to mess up my friendship with one of my best friends.

What to do?

Discuss it with a friend. This gains higher priority the closer he is, just explain it in a civil way and just talk, say what you thinks going on and see what he thinks. Maybe ask for his permission to ask her out. Or even, get him to ask her out, then you try if she says no. Just dont rub his face in it.

This sorta happened to me. I had a very slight interest in a girl, and I wanted to make it bigger, mainly because it would get me out of depression and forget the previous girl, whom rejected me with passion. SO I started talking to her. Then a what id more call a low friend (as in we talk when were in class, but thats generally it) saw her post on my status on facebook, and immediately tried to jump into her pants and consistently talking to her (I know this ebcause he was asking me wierd and pervy questions when he started talking to her).

Problem is, shes bipolar, and believes every word he says when shes upset because of the constant cheering up he does, generally because hes bumming her consistently (not in a sexual way). He even went as far as to convince her to delete me off msn/fb as I apparently dont consider her a friend. Problem is, if they do go out, I know he'll get his sex, due to her mood changes, but he wont put up with her, and she'll get hurt again. Im not saying that im the better man, but im not looking for sex (I have quite a low sexual drive for reasons unknown) and I can understand her moodset, as ive got a sorta minor version of it. Still, it was only a slight interest, so it all blowed over and didnt affect me.

...Sorry for the ramble

Go and beat the shit out of your friend. Seriously, he's just using her for sex since she's vulnerable. You need to do something before she gets hurt.

 

[Dimensional Vortex]

I recently learned today something very unfortunate. It turns out the girl one of my best friends likes, really likes me. This is problematic since I sort of like her aswell although i'm swaying in the direction of not wanting to mess up my friendship with one of my best friends.

What to do?

This is a tough situation, but it is also one that needs a few extra questions answered about it.

First, you say your friend "likes" this girl, but am I right to believe that they are not involved in some kind of relationship? Am I right to assume that this is currently only at the "infatuation" level and nothing more than that? How seriously is your friend interested in this girl?

Second, you say that this is one of your "best friends". I take it that this means that you hold this particular friendship at a high enough esteem that you do not want to cause it any unnecessary trouble?

Third, what is your interest in a relationship with this girl? Do you merely like her and have found out that the feeling is mutual, or do you have a very real desire to make something happen?

As you have stated yourself, this is a fairly difficult situation that does not have many easy solutions. Much depends upon not only your own interests in this case, but also that of your friend's as well. Is your friend the type to get jealous or angry if you ended up getting into a relationship that he is seeking himself? Also, what are your own personal thoughts on this issue, and how much are you interested in seeking out a relationship even if it may potentially cause problems for one of your friendships?

Being able to answer those questions could help alot in being able to determine just how you ought to deal with this business.

Hope that helps. I probably can say more depending upon your answers to what I have said thus far. :3

- Rei

I'm not entirely sure how much he likes the girl, but he's not in a relationship with her and simply wants to start a relationship with her.

He is one of my best friends and would defiantly not want to lose him as a friend.

I think with my interest in the girl is that I just like her and that because I now know that the feeling is mutual, I?m interested in her more.

He's probably the second easiest person in my group of friends to make angry. He can just sometimes snap when he gets pissed off and randomly hit someone. For example, I was just messing around with some object which I can't remember and then he hits me in the eye! But he's a really nice guy 99% of the time and great to talk to, so I?m not entirely sure how he would react if I started dating the girl.

I'm not really sure if I would want to risk one of my best friendships over a girl to be honest. However, I?m not sure since if I?m entirely honest, I?ve never had a relationship in my life and this is the first chance I?ve ever really gotten.

Thanks for the replies everyone.

You did the mathematics of all his social situations to determine what percentage he was a nice guy? nice....

Also there isn't much you can do here but I guess I will give three suggestions:

Talk you your friend about it and if he gets upset or angry tell him something like "I would much rather you be with her than I" or that "She is human and cannot control her feelings, if she wants to be with me than she does."

You could of course talk to the girl about it although that is like running through a minefield for some cake that is centered in the middle, sure if you execute all the right moves and finesse you will have a sweet ending but one little stuff up and you will be feeling like shit.

This is a kind of stupid suggestion, have real freaky, nasty sex with her so that if things get real bad you at least have some ammunition, and it will be an awesome experience.