Put downs to Mythical characters
- Thread starter Goldeneye1989
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To a Cyclops:
"Hey can you tell how far that is from here?"
Ya...
Depth perception...
You need 2 eyes...
I'll leave it at that...
Edit: To a Satyr,
"Hey! You want to go play Ba-a-a-adminton?"
"Hey can you tell how far that is from here?"
Ya...
Depth perception...
You need 2 eyes...
I'll leave it at that...
Edit: To a Satyr,
"Hey! You want to go play Ba-a-a-adminton?"
to a mind flayer: so you want some calamari?
to female dwarf: uhmm. you have a 2 oclock shadow....
to minotaur: dont be a bull-y.
to female dwarf: uhmm. you have a 2 oclock shadow....
to minotaur: dont be a bull-y.
To a Unicorn: *in a voice used when talking to puppies or babies* Who thinks their tough oh, who thinks their tough? That's right you do, you do. Followed with unintelligible gibberish.
To a Centaur: Sooooooooo your dad didn't use protection in the bestiality video he was making or what?
To a Centaur: Sooooooooo your dad didn't use protection in the bestiality video he was making or what?
To a witch: "So is this the part where you dance around naked or the part where you start eating children?"
To Grendel (from the poem Beowulf)"Could you lend me a hand?" Alternately, "Okay, lift with both hands..."
To a Zombie, "How's life?"
To a Zombie, "How's life?"
To a Gargoyle "Hey Goliath wanna get stoned."
To a bugbear "Why the hell do they call you a bugbear!"
To a bugbear "Why the hell do they call you a bugbear!"
To a Drow: You might wanna get out of the sun some.
To a Dwarf: Sorry, to join you need to shave.
To a Troll: Want a light?
To a Myconoid: Man I hate fungus, don't you?
I know they're horrid, but still.
To a Dwarf: Sorry, to join you need to shave.
To a Troll: Want a light?
To a Myconoid: Man I hate fungus, don't you?
I know they're horrid, but still.
warming up: to a centar: "you stupid ASS!"
getting warmed up: to a ghost: "can you help me beat this mario level there's all these god dammed...............................................oh"
Still warming up: to a sphinx: "don't be such a pussy and just do it!!"
starting to leave: to a harpie: "hey I just thought since it's in season we should go duck hunting"
getting hat and coat: to a D&D type orc: please just shut up your such a BOAR!!
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you know I thought they were pretty funny.......................................I'll just be leaving now
getting warmed up: to a ghost: "can you help me beat this mario level there's all these god dammed...............................................oh"
Still warming up: to a sphinx: "don't be such a pussy and just do it!!"
starting to leave: to a harpie: "hey I just thought since it's in season we should go duck hunting"
getting hat and coat: to a D&D type orc: please just shut up your such a BOAR!!
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you know I thought they were pretty funny.......................................I'll just be leaving now
To a Unicorn: Well aren't you horny today. Sorry, I didn't mean to be a prick. I'll go call your friends, who were they again? Oh right, the carebear and the fairy. What was your name again? Glitter or Rainbow? Yeah yeah, I already know you have hoof-in-mouth. Don't be such an ass, I'm going.
To a Gorgon: Have you seen yourself in a mirror lately? You're stunning! No, I'm kidding, you're all out ugly. Don't be such a stiff. Look, I hate to tell you this, but your hair is all in a tangle, your hygiene could use some work, and you're downright cold-blooded. Now can you get my pants from the dryer? I'm going to go hang out with better myths, like the basilisk.
Minotaur: Sorry I'm late, I got lost trying to find you; your garden could sure use some trimming. Now who wants a pie? What? Don't go into a huff about it, your girlfriend was a cow. A heifer. A lame side of meat. Was that last one too personal? So I'm having a backyard bbq tonight, you're invited to come along. Oh, that's right, you're vegan. Can't say your health is any better for it, though. You've got one fat utter, and that doesn't even begin to explain your moose lips and camel toe.
Okay, I have successfully petered out.
To a Gorgon: Have you seen yourself in a mirror lately? You're stunning! No, I'm kidding, you're all out ugly. Don't be such a stiff. Look, I hate to tell you this, but your hair is all in a tangle, your hygiene could use some work, and you're downright cold-blooded. Now can you get my pants from the dryer? I'm going to go hang out with better myths, like the basilisk.
Minotaur: Sorry I'm late, I got lost trying to find you; your garden could sure use some trimming. Now who wants a pie? What? Don't go into a huff about it, your girlfriend was a cow. A heifer. A lame side of meat. Was that last one too personal? So I'm having a backyard bbq tonight, you're invited to come along. Oh, that's right, you're vegan. Can't say your health is any better for it, though. You've got one fat utter, and that doesn't even begin to explain your moose lips and camel toe.
Okay, I have successfully petered out.
To a red horned devil with a pitchfork: I think you might be scarier if you went emo.
To a merman: Nice outfit, does it come in straight?
To a merman: Nice outfit, does it come in straight?
